My girlfriend has a new guy friend (not straight)

My Girlfriend just left for college a month ago and I'm at college myself but four hours away. She has recently made friends with a homosexual guy and its starting to bug me. They go to dinner together and on facebook joke back and forth on facebook statuses. She perceives him as no threat because he is homosexual but it still bugs the crap out of me and I'm not sure why. I'm not a homophobic person nor do I think homosexuals should be deprived of the rights of marriage or anything else but this is just bothering me.

Any advice on how to deal with this?

*ps why is the word "g4y" banned? that seems wrong*

The problem here is you're giving you girlfriend too much credit, thinking she can turn him.

Going on dates with him... girls don't even go to dinner one on one with a girl, so what does that tell you?

I think they are doing to much together even if he is supposedly gay.

As for the censor too many people would make "_______ is so gay threads...

But I would not worry about it, he is not a threat. I have seen this scenario play out a few times as though it were cliche... They are friends because they are compatible and there is no sexual tension or bouts of jealousy as they are after different types of guys. This is not a big deal, I would just let it go to be honest.

Going on dates with him... girls don't even go to dinner one on one with a girl, so what does that tell you?

I think they are doing to much together even if he is supposedly gay.

gotdangit

Its not really a "date" its more like..they go to a dining hall together

As for the censor too many people would make "_______ is so gay threads...

But I would not worry about it, he is not a threat. I have seen this scenario play out a few times as though it were cliche... They are friends because they are compatible and there is no sexual tension or bouts of jealousy as they are after different types of guys. This is not a big deal, I would just let it go to be honest.

Shhadow_Viper

Yeah, I think that is probably the best route.

[QUOTE="gotdangit"]

Going on dates with him... girls don't even go to dinner one on one with a girl, so what does that tell you?

I think they are doing to much together even if he is supposedly gay.

crazymaghie123

Its not really a "date" its more like..they go to a dining hall together

Well, if it makes you feel any better, he's probably already seen her half-naked and helped her with her underthings without ever doing or even thinking about doing nasty things with her.

What if he's pretending to be gay just so he can get with that girl? I've seen it happen before! On SNL that's how you know it's real.

[QUOTE="crazymaghie123"]

[QUOTE="gotdangit"]

Going on dates with him... girls don't even go to dinner one on one with a girl, so what does that tell you?

I think they are doing to much together even if he is supposedly gay.

gotdangit

Its not really a "date" its more like..they go to a dining hall together

Yeah its honestly a weird situation thats so new to me I'm uncomfortable with it

Well, if it makes you feel any better, he's probably already seen her half-naked and helped her with her underthings without ever doing or even thinking about doing nasty things with her.

Theokhoth

We can only hope so!

The problem here is you're giving you girlfriend too much credit, thinking she can turn him.

freek666

maybe, haha

My Girlfriend just left for college a month ago and I'm at college myself but four hours away. She has recently made friends with a homosexual guy and its starting to bug me. They go to dinner together and on facebook joke back and forth on facebook statuses. She perceives him as no threat because he is homosexual but it still bugs the crap out of me and I'm not sure why. I'm not a homophobic person nor do I think homosexuals should be deprived of the rights of marriage or anything else but this is just bothering me.

Any advice on how to deal with this?

*ps why is the word "g4y" banned? that seems wrong*

crazymaghie123

this is a case of nature vs...preference?

I understand.

The male in you says "Hrrrrrmmmmm...male hanging out excessively with girlfriend...bad bad!"

You just gotta view this homosexual friend as another female confidente

[QUOTE="Theokhoth"]

Well, if it makes you feel any better, he's probably already seen her half-naked and helped her with her underthings without ever doing or even thinking about doing nasty things with her.

crazymaghie123

We can only hope so!

Someone might have said this before, but you're going to have to make sure he's really gay Request to have sex with him, and if he accepts, chances are he's gay and you have nothing to worry about.zakkro

Someone might have said this before, but you're going to have to make sure he's really gay Request to have sex with him, and if he accepts, chances are he's gay and you have nothing to worry about.zakkro

What if he rejects on the basis of not wanting to have sex with every guy that asks? :o

[QUOTE="zakkro"]Someone might have said this before, but you're going to have to make sure he's really gay Request to have sex with him, and if he accepts, chances are he's gay and you have nothing to worry about.Theokhoth

What if he rejects on the basis of not wanting to have sex with every guy that asks? :o

Ask it in a hypothetical way. Like "If you found me sexually attractive, would you totally do me?"

[QUOTE="zakkro"]Someone might have said this before, but you're going to have to make sure he's really gay Request to have sex with him, and if he accepts, chances are he's gay and you have nothing to worry about.Theokhoth

What if he rejects on the basis of not wanting to have sex with every guy that asks? :o

:lol:

That Kanye link in your sig is awesome...

[QUOTE="Theokhoth"]

[QUOTE="zakkro"]Someone might have said this before, but you're going to have to make sure he's really gay Request to have sex with him, and if he accepts, chances are he's gay and you have nothing to worry about.blank33

What if he rejects on the basis of not wanting to have sex with every guy that asks? :o

:lol:

That Kanye link in your sig is awesome...

Eh, I've written better. Someone once mistook one of them as real. >_>

[QUOTE="zakkro"]Someone might have said this before, but you're going to have to make sure he's really gay Request to have sex with him, and if he accepts, chances are he's gay and you have nothing to worry about.Theokhoth

What if he rejects on the basis of not wanting to have sex with every guy that asks? :o

[QUOTE="blank33"]

[QUOTE="Theokhoth"]

What if he rejects on the basis of not wanting to have sex with every guy that asks? :o

Theokhoth

:lol:

That Kanye link in your sig is awesome...

Eh, I've written better. Someone once mistook one of them as real. >_>

You mean... Kanye isn't fighting the Heartless...?

how certain are you that this guy is a homosexual?

Who told you the girlfriend?, the guy? or the guy's friends?

[QUOTE="Theokhoth"]

[QUOTE="blank33"]

:lol:

That Kanye link in your sig is awesome...

blank33

Eh, I've written better. Someone once mistook one of them as real. >_>

You mean... Kanye isn't fighting the Heartless...?

Oh, he is, he is, but his goal is to find and save his best friend, Lil' Wayne, from the darkness before he opens Kingdom Hearts, not to defeat the Heartless.

[QUOTE="blank33"]

[QUOTE="Theokhoth"]

Eh, I've written better. Someone once mistook one of them as real. >_>

Theokhoth

You mean... Kanye isn't fighting the Heartless...?

Oh, he is, he is, but his goal is to find and save his best friend, Lil' Wayne, from the darkness before he opens Kingdom Hearts, not to defeat the Heartless.

Oh, okay... Thank Jesus. Only Kanye can stop the power of true darkness..

Check his computer to see what kind of porn he looks at. If it's gay porn, you're fine. If it's straight porn, time to beat his ass. If it's furry porn...get your girlfriend as far away from him as possible.

What if he's pretending to be gay just so he can get with that girl? I've seen it happen before! On SNL that's how you know it's real.

gotdangit

Going on dates with him... girls don't even go to dinner one on one with a girl, so what does that tell you?gotdangit

On that note... I think you're jealous that he gets to spend more time with your girl than you do - you just dont realize that is the case yet. Your girl found a "school spouse" and you arent privy to it. Give it time... and maybe when you're there, get to know the guy so you'll feel better. Its just your territorial instincts kicking in.

[QUOTE="gotdangit"]

Going on dates with him... girls don't even go to dinner one on one with a girl, so what does that tell you?Sajedene

On that note... I think you're jealous that he gets to spend more time with your girl than you do - you just dont realize that is the case yet. Your girl found a "school spouse" and you arent privy to it. Give it time... and maybe when you're there, get to know the guy so you'll feel better. Its just your territorial instincts kicking in.

Ive seen "school spouses" turn into drunken hookups one too many times, however.

To be quite honest, you should be thankful your girlfriends hanging out with a gay dude so consistently. It'll likely weird-out the brahs trying looking for quick action

hmmm i honestly don't know what i'd do if i was in your situation. i read everyone's replies and they all seem to be good replies. i feel like if you tell her to lose him she'll accuse you of being "controling".

sorry dude, long distance relationships are hard, just gotta ask yourself if you really trust her or not, it really comes down to that. Me and my girl had a long distance relationship for 4 years (yea i know...) but we're still together 8 years and counting and going strong. so maybe it is nothing to worry about.

Well, if it makes you feel any better, he's probably already seen her half-naked and helped her with her underthings without ever doing or even thinking about doing nasty things with her.

Theokhoth

Your girlfriend is spending more time with somebody than she is you. of course you're upset. It has nothing to do with threat, gender, or sexual orientation. Just tell your girlfriend you don't feel like she's as interested in you in a nonsexual nonromantic way as she is in him, and that it matters to you that she sees you as interesting. If she has half a brain, she'll see you're hurt and correct it.

If she doesn't tone it down or recognize your conerns, then I'd say I think it's disrespectful to you what she's doing, I wouldnt put my s/o second to a random new friend.

My Girlfriend just left for college a month ago and I'm at college myself but four hours away. She has recently made friends with a homosexual guy and its starting to bug me. They go to dinner together and on facebook joke back and forth on facebook statuses. She perceives him as no threat because he is homosexual but it still bugs the crap out of me and I'm not sure why. I'm not a homophobic person nor do I think homosexuals should be deprived of the rights of marriage or anything else but this is just bothering me.

Any advice on how to deal with this?

*ps why is the word "g4y" banned? that seems wrong*

crazymaghie123

Thanks for the responses guys and girls

If they're going for dinner fairly often and flirt a lot on Facebook, chances are he's not nearly as gay as she's telling you.

edit - maybe that's a bit harsh, as I assume you'd have no reason to mistrust her, and maybe it is something new and exciting for her (my girlfriend has a gay friend too). Part of me just finds it kind of suspicious.

She probably appreciates the company since you study quite far away, and because he is homosexual she won't have to fight off his uwelcome advances which - assuming that she is at least moderately pretty - she would be trying to avoid (obviously). Don't worry about it.

And make sure you make the effort to go out with them *both* at some time - if she thinks he's cool it's likely you will too.

I'd say let them be. I'm a straight male who hangs out with a few girls, two of which have boyfriends. We're all good mates and go out every week or so. Thing is I've known these girls longer than their boyfriends have, and I would not go out with them (not my type of girls). People can be friends with the opposite sex without going out (though many rumors start around the workplace ...)

Don't worry about it, maybe having a close guy friend without the sexual draw is helping her deal with you being four hours away

Someone might have said this before, but you're going to have to make sure he's really gay Request to have sex with him, and if he accepts, chances are he's gay and you have nothing to worry about.zakkro

I'm loving the paranoia in this thread. Its so cute and sweet how insecure so many of you are :) It's a great insight into the male psyche.Sajedene

Well, you see, when a man likes a woman, there's an unspoken rule (think of the Eleventh Commandment). Essentially, when a man walks with his arm around his GF in a public setting with other men, he is declaring to the other men, "This is mine! You may not touch, approach, or communicate with this, because I have claimed it for my own!"

To violate that rule. . . yeah, it leads to problems.

I'm not a homophobic person nor do I think homosexuals should be deprived of the rights of marriage or anything else .

crazymaghie123