NEED HELP! Girlfriend might be pregnant... need some insight

HURRAY! Quick update, but all is well, she and I are not going to be parents anytime soon, she informed me that she just received her monthly visitor! Thank you all for the kind words (those who gave kind words anyway), and for the heartfelt support. It felt really good to have you guys reassuring me. Furthermore, I don't think that this will be a problem again, since she is going to start taking the pill now, she just had to wait for her visitor first. So, once again thank you all, i am going to go do some backflips, and if you have learned ANYTHING from this, be sure that you are safe when you have sex lol.... because then you can avoid losing a night of sleep over a pregnancy scare!Essian

Happy ending. You're lucky.

Happy ending. You're lucky.

Loco_Live

You asked, so here it is. Want some relief from worry? Be a man and tell yourself you are responsible for your actions and no matter what happens, you will be there for her and do the right thing. When you are confident you can handle any situation / what you've created your worries will fade away. Trust me on thatand good luck.

that...or just get fixedrawsavon

[QUOTE="rawsavon"]that...or just get fixedEngrish_Major

Isn't brown blood just old blood or something? That's what my girlfriend told me...

I have known (for certain) since about 17 that I did not want kids...EVER -I am selfish -I am not a good person -but, despite my 'evil' nature, I am responsible and mature enough to make sure I do not subject a kid to me or vice versa In the end, I knew I should not and do not want to have them, and I did not want to be put in a position where I had to make a life or death decision I gave it 8 years (to see if I would change my mind) -my feelings only grew in intensity Best $800 I ever spent -not to mention it was really no big deal (the procedure)rawsavon

[QUOTE="UltimoIce"]

[QUOTE="jeremiah06"] Seems like he was just trying to brag about knowing some basic(basic as in 2nd week of 1st class basic) programming. "=/=" is more mathematical than "!=" which more programming-esque. Frankly no-one would understand it unless they program a little themselves.jeremiah06

Lolwut? I'm lead products developer at a reputablecompany, why would I brag about basic programming knowledge when it is my profession? My point was, taht != is less characters, its cooler, so I'm trying to get it to catch on. I am aware =/= is a hack for the mathematical "does not equal", I have a math major as well. But it looks hokey on the intertubez.

EDIT: Also FYI, I work in VB.Net, so if I were just trying to show off, I would try to get double arrows (gamespot filters it out, actually because of tag syntax)to catch on :p. No but seriously, != is much cooler.

That's alright. Great thing about the internet is that you don't have to believe me. Although, there is a good chance if you work in the USA you use software I developed myself. I make content management / document imaging / enterprise services software. Third party resellers take my software, rebrand it to their name, then sell it at a profit to big companies. Goodwill, upper deck, a lot of state governments, even playboy uses us to keep track of their internal systems.

It's kind of a fun job. I was lucky to get so far up so early in life, but I already went over that in another thread.

[QUOTE="Teenaged"][QUOTE="UltimoIce"]No but seriously, != is much cooler.smc91352

Well, you see, the way you did it is cooler than both of the others. So you win this thread. What was the original topic again?

[QUOTE="rawsavon"] I have known (for certain) since about 17 that I did not want kids...EVER -I am selfish -I am not a good person -but, despite my 'evil' nature, I am responsible and mature enough to make sure I do not subject a kid to me or vice versa In the end, I knew I should not and do not want to have them, and I did not want to be put in a position where I had to make a life or death decision I gave it 8 years (to see if I would change my mind) -my feelings only grew in intensity Best $800 I ever spent -not to mention it was really no big deal (the procedure)Engrish_Major

that's a setup for huge disappointment. If you're in your mid/late twenties or older, you should definitely come clean.F1_2004

[QUOTE="F1_2004"] that's a setup for huge disappointment. If you're in your mid/late twenties or older, you should definitely come clean.Engrish_Major

Perhaps talking with her about it may make you feel a bit more easy about the whole thing. Either way, you have to speak with her about it. It doesn't have to be a painful conversation, you know.

[QUOTE="Engrish_Major"][QUOTE="F1_2004"] that's a setup for huge disappointment. If you're in your mid/late twenties or older, you should definitely come clean.UltimoIce

Perhaps talking with her about it may make you feel a bit more easy about the whole thing. Either way, you have to speak with her about it. It doesn't have to be a painful conversation, you know.

[QUOTE="UltimoIce"]

[QUOTE="Engrish_Major"]I know... many times I wake up in the morning telling myself I'll initiate the conversation. I know she deserves it. Thing is - I'm not 100% sure. I'm thinking I'll change in the next few years and want a kid, but there's no way for me to tell at this time.rawsavon

Perhaps talking with her about it may make you feel a bit more easy about the whole thing. Either way, you have to speak with her about it. It doesn't have to be a painful conversation, you know.

It doesn't have to be. Most things depend on your approach. Engrish is a smart guy (even if he does get a little hot-headed in debates :)), I'm sure he can massage the conversation and make it not so traumatic.

For example, start out with your fear of having a kid, explain your reasons, and hear her reasons otherwise. It doesn't have to be "HEY, I don't want kids...sooooo....deal with THAT". Just go in with an open mind. Most people don't freak out about a serious conversation, especially if you are being reasonable and listening to their side.

After that many years, it WILL be painful I imagine she thinks he wants kids...it will be tough for her...and himrawsavon

[QUOTE="rawsavon"][QUOTE="UltimoIce"]

Perhaps talking with her about it may make you feel a bit more easy about the whole thing. Either way, you have to speak with her about it. It doesn't have to be a painful conversation, you know.

UltimoIce

It doesn't have to be. Most things depend on your approach. Engrish is a smart guy (even if he does get a little hot-headed in debates :)), I'm sure he can massage the conversation and make it not so traumatic.

For example, start out with your fear of having a kid, explain your reasons, and hear her reasons otherwise. It doesn't have to be "HEY, I don't want kids...sooooo....deal with THAT". Just go in with an open mind. Most people don't freak out about a serious conversation, especially if you are being reasonable and listening to their side.

I really don't see the point in being together if one wants kids but the other doesn't.

[QUOTE="UltimoIce"]

[QUOTE="rawsavon"] After that many years, it WILL be painful I imagine she thinks he wants kids...it will be tough for her...and himrawsavon

It doesn't have to be. Most things depend on your approach. Engrish is a smart guy (even if he does get a little hot-headed in debates :)), I'm sure he can massage the conversation and make it not so traumatic.

For example, start out with your fear of having a kid, explain your reasons, and hear her reasons otherwise. It doesn't have to be "HEY, I don't want kids...sooooo....deal with THAT". Just go in with an open mind. Most people don't freak out about a serious conversation, especially if you are being reasonable and listening to their side.

Yeah, everyone is different. But you'd have to think, if he comes to her with a legitimate concern, and she freaks out, it may not be meant to be anyways. I mean sure, if he lied, that is a whole nother issue. But assuming he hasn't, and has just avoided the topic, or can massage the conversation in such a way that he can get his concerns across without letting his previous lies known, then the conversation shouldn't be that painful.

The key is just letting her talk as well. And you never know, maybe after hearing her reasoning, he may change some of his own thoughts on the issue.

Yeah, everyone is different. But you'd have to think, if he comes to her with a legitimate concern, and she freaks out, it may not be meant to be anyways. I mean sure, if he lied, that is a whole nother issue. But assuming he hasn't, and has just avoided the topic, or can massage the conversation in such a way that he can get his concerns across without letting his previous lies known, then the conversation shouldn't be that painful.

The key is just letting her talk as well. And you never know, maybe after hearing her reasoning, he may change some of his own thoughts on the issue.

UltimoIce

If he has never lied...then this MIGHT could be a calm conversation

But I just do not see how that could have happened in a relationship that has lasted 5 years
...after all, she has told him 'her clock is ticking'...I can't imagine how someone could have deflected stuff like that for 5 years. If so, he is the master and should be giving lessons

Also, remember who you are dealing with and the subject matter
-IMO this is worse to a girl than not wanting to get married (you could still be together)
-you are dealing with a girl that wants kids, says her body is telling her it is time, and expects (based on your behavior) to have them with you

[QUOTE="UltimoIce"]

Yeah, everyone is different. But you'd have to think, if he comes to her with a legitimate concern, and she freaks out, it may not be meant to be anyways. I mean sure, if he lied, that is a whole nother issue. But assuming he hasn't, and has just avoided the topic, or can massage the conversation in such a way that he can get his concerns across without letting his previous lies known, then the conversation shouldn't be that painful.

The key is just letting her talk as well. And you never know, maybe after hearing her reasoning, he may change some of his own thoughts on the issue.

rawsavon

If he has never lied...then this MIGHT could be a calm conversation

But I just do not see how that could have happened in a relationship that has lasted 5 years
...after all, she has told him 'her clock is ticking'...I can't imagine how someone could have deflected stuff like that for 5 years. If so, he is the master and should be giving lessons

Also, remember who you are dealing with and the subject matter
-IMO this is worse to a girl than not wanting to get married (you could still be together)
-you are dealing with a girl that wants kids, says her body is telling her it is time, and expects (based on your behavior) to have them with you

Well, I guess we will find out. We should start a pool for how the conversation ends. Is gambling against the ToS? :)

Well, I guess we will find out. We should start a pool for how the conversation ends. Is gambling against the ToS? :)

UltimoIce

Meh...we all have to go out sometime
We could start a gambling ring union

Honestly, the best thing to do is get a test. From a doctor, not an at home one. And if she's not, I highly suggest that she starts taking birth control.

[QUOTE="UltimoIce"]

Well, I guess we will find out. We should start a pool for how the conversation ends. Is gambling against the ToS? :)

rawsavon

Meh...we all have to go out sometime
We could start a gambling ring union

I'm in!

Oh by the way, next time Huskers play Tech, we are totally grabbing a drink and catching the game. Not for a couple years, though!

[QUOTE="rawsavon"]

[QUOTE="UltimoIce"]

Well, I guess we will find out. We should start a pool for how the conversation ends. Is gambling against the ToS? :)

UltimoIce

Meh...we all have to go out sometime
We could start a gambling ring union

I'm in!

Oh by the way, next time Huskers play Tech, we are totally grabbing a drink and catching the game. Not for a couple years, though!

Sounds good.

PS:
I am sending you an invite for a different union

[QUOTE="Essian"]HURRAY! Quick update, but all is well, she and I are not going to be parents anytime soon, she informed me that she just received her monthly visitor! Thank you all for the kind words (those who gave kind words anyway), and for the heartfelt support. It felt really good to have you guys reassuring me. Furthermore, I don't think that this will be a problem again, since she is going to start taking the pill now, she just had to wait for her visitor first. So, once again thank you all, i am going to go do some backflips, and if you have learned ANYTHING from this, be sure that you are safe when you have sex lol.... because then you can avoid losing a night of sleep over a pregnancy scare!Loco_Live

Happy ending. You're lucky.

bullet dodged

can somebody get the Neo GIF in here?

[QUOTE="UltimoIce"]

[QUOTE="rawsavon"]

Meh...we all have to go out sometime
We could start a gambling ring union

rawsavon

I'm in!

Oh by the way, next time Huskers play Tech, we are totally grabbing a drink and catching the game. Not for a couple years, though!

Sounds good.

PS:
I am sending you an invite for a different union

Nice, seems pretty spiffy. Thanks man.

Engrish, get back here. You can't tease us with delicious hypotheticals then not deliver.

you know what this will do.

Engrish, get back here. You can't tease us with delicious hypotheticals then not deliver.

UltimoIce

[QUOTE="UltimoIce"]

Engrish, get back here. You can't tease us with delicious hypotheticals then not deliver.

Engrish_Major

Well, its nice that you at least know that you dont know, however it seems a bit egocentric to keep a girl who wants kids with you when you most likely will never want

Rawson on the other hand, really didn't think this all the way, what he wants now is not what he will want tomorrow,but maybe that is for the best. Nature dynamics, some people should not spread his genes

[QUOTE="Snipes_2"]

No Offense but you decided to take the risks when you did that.

Teenaged

[QUOTE="Essian"]HURRAY! Quick update, but all is well, she and I are not going to be parents anytime soon, she informed me that she just received her monthly visitor! Thank you all for the kind words (those who gave kind words anyway), and for the heartfelt support. It felt really good to have you guys reassuring me. Furthermore, I don't think that this will be a problem again, since she is going to start taking the pill now, she just had to wait for her visitor first. So, once again thank you all, i am going to go do some backflips, and if you have learned ANYTHING from this, be sure that you are safe when you have sex lol.... because then you can avoid losing a night of sleep over a pregnancy scare!Loco_Live

Happy ending. You're lucky.

I'm pretty sure a pregnancy test is more reliable than random people on the internet.

Rawson on the other hand, really didn't think this all the way, what he wants now is not what he will want tomorrow,but maybe that is for the best. Nature dynamics, some people should not spread his genes

Adrianstalker

Oh I thought about it...a lot

I am almost 30 years old.
How long do you think I should have given it?

About 10 years of being 100% sure that I hate kids seemed to be enough proof for me.

Me genes are fine, but I am a complete jackass...and a selfish one at that
It is for the best, just nothing to do with genetics

[QUOTE="Adrianstalker"]Rawson on the other hand, really didn't think this all the way, what he wants now is not what he will want tomorrow,but maybe that is for the best. Nature dynamics, some people should not spread his genes

rawsavon

Oh I thought about it...a lot

I am almost 30 years old.
How long do you think I should have given it?

About 10 years of being 100% sure that I hate kids seemed to be enough proof for me.

Me genes are fine, but I am a complete jackass...and a selfish one at that
It is for the best, just nothing to do with genetics

I know :)

I was half joking on the genes part. Guess I cant not take into relevance reproduction/sex issues without the biological standpoint. Even though, when I said some should not spread its gene, it is not because there is something with itself, but rather a necessary proportion for what I called nature dynamics

You always strike me as a smart/wise man, and so does Engrish Major, there was no negative connotation on my comment, but I do see it now how it could sound, so apologies for any misunderstanding

Before you read on, please understand that I will be both respectful, and will avoid being either rude or unecessarily descriptive, but it is not for those who are squeemish. Though it will not contain any unecessary or descriptive details of any kind, I put that there just to cover my bases. That being said, here is my situation:

My girlfriend and I engaged in the act 3 weeks ago from this saturday. We used a condom as a preventative measure, and as always, we were careful. However, today she told me that, a week or less before her monthly visitor arrives, she has found spotting (I will not describe spotting, simply because it is unnecessary and I don't want to get locked... if you can help me, you know what spotting is already), and, simply for the fact that I feel I need to include all details, the color was brown. The second I found this out, I went looking online to find out what it means, and, as always, I found something that greatly disturbed me (whenever I look something up online, I find something that scares the crap out of me). I found that brown spotting after the monthly issue is a sign of just bacteria cleansing, but just before, can be an indicator of pregnancy. Obviously, now I am worried. I'm 19, and she's 18... I'm in college, and she's about to graduate high school. I could use some peace of mind.

So, should I be worried? obviously no one knows for sure, and I plan to have her take a pregnancy test tomorrow when I go home to see her, but until then, I could use any information that might help me get a good night's sleep. So, do you think she's pregnant?

Essian

Didn't bother to read the other responses, but having been pregnant before at a young age(I lost the kid), I think I can help here. Spotting is normal, before and after you start your menstral cycle. If she is stressed about being pregnant, there is a big chance she'll miss her period. Every time I thought I might be pregnant, I got so stressed that I missed my period.

Go buy a test, and have her take it. The second she sees it's negative, her stress level will go down, and she will start in a few days. I actually started about 10 minutes after I saw the negative..lol.

Try not to add to her worry. Most likely, she is perfectly fine. Is she on birth control? If not, you should really consider it.

[QUOTE="Essian"]

Before you read on, please understand that I will be both respectful, and will avoid being either rude or unecessarily descriptive, but it is not for those who are squeemish. Though it will not contain any unecessary or descriptive details of any kind, I put that there just to cover my bases. That being said, here is my situation:

My girlfriend and I engaged in the act 3 weeks ago from this saturday. We used a condom as a preventative measure, and as always, we were careful. However, today she told me that, a week or less before her monthly visitor arrives, she has found spotting (I will not describe spotting, simply because it is unnecessary and I don't want to get locked... if you can help me, you know what spotting is already), and, simply for the fact that I feel I need to include all details, the color was brown. The second I found this out, I went looking online to find out what it means, and, as always, I found something that greatly disturbed me (whenever I look something up online, I find something that scares the crap out of me). I found that brown spotting after the monthly issue is a sign of just bacteria cleansing, but just before, can be an indicator of pregnancy. Obviously, now I am worried. I'm 19, and she's 18... I'm in college, and she's about to graduate high school. I could use some peace of mind.

So, should I be worried? obviously no one knows for sure, and I plan to have her take a pregnancy test tomorrow when I go home to see her, but until then, I could use any information that might help me get a good night's sleep. So, do you think she's pregnant?

NightEyes7

Didn't bother to read the other responses, but having been pregnant before at a young age(I lost the kid), I think I can help here. Spotting is normal, before and after you start your menstral cycle. If she is stressed about being pregnant, there is a big chance she'll miss her period. Every time I thought I might be pregnant, I got so stressed that I missed my period.

Go buy a test, and have her take it. The second she sees it's negative, her stress level will go down, and she will start in a few days. I actually started about 10 minutes after I saw the negative..lol.

Try not to add to her worry. Most likely, she is perfectly fine. Is she on birth control? If not, you should really consider it.

Good post. Im sorry for you loss though :(

Anyway, he already posted that his gf had her period, and that she will now start taking pills

[QUOTE="rawsavon"]

[QUOTE="Adrianstalker"]Rawson on the other hand, really didn't think this all the way, what he wants now is not what he will want tomorrow,but maybe that is for the best. Nature dynamics, some people should not spread his genes

Adrianstalker

Oh I thought about it...a lot

I am almost 30 years old.
How long do you think I should have given it?

About 10 years of being 100% sure that I hate kids seemed to be enough proof for me.

Me genes are fine, but I am a complete jackass...and a selfish one at that
It is for the best, just nothing to do with genetics

I know :)

I was half joking on the genes part. Guess I cant not take into relevance reproduction/sex issues without the biological standpoint. Even though, when I said some should not spread its gene, it is not because there is something with itself, but rather a necessary proportion for what I called nature dynamics

You always strike me as a smart/wise man, and so does Engrish Major, there was no negative connotation on my comment, but I do see it now how it could sound, so apologies for any misunderstanding

No problems...

I am used to getting 'attacked' for my choice in this.
-consequently, I am usually on the defensive about it right off the bat

I need to remember that Interwebz is not so serious business

I will try to remember your posting $tyle for future reference (I know some people are mean spirited and some are not)
:)

[QUOTE="NightEyes7"]

[QUOTE="Essian"]

Before you read on, please understand that I will be both respectful, and will avoid being either rude or unecessarily descriptive, but it is not for those who are squeemish. Though it will not contain any unecessary or descriptive details of any kind, I put that there just to cover my bases. That being said, here is my situation:

My girlfriend and I engaged in the act 3 weeks ago from this saturday. We used a condom as a preventative measure, and as always, we were careful. However, today she told me that, a week or less before her monthly visitor arrives, she has found spotting (I will not describe spotting, simply because it is unnecessary and I don't want to get locked... if you can help me, you know what spotting is already), and, simply for the fact that I feel I need to include all details, the color was brown. The second I found this out, I went looking online to find out what it means, and, as always, I found something that greatly disturbed me (whenever I look something up online, I find something that scares the crap out of me). I found that brown spotting after the monthly issue is a sign of just bacteria cleansing, but just before, can be an indicator of pregnancy. Obviously, now I am worried. I'm 19, and she's 18... I'm in college, and she's about to graduate high school. I could use some peace of mind.

So, should I be worried? obviously no one knows for sure, and I plan to have her take a pregnancy test tomorrow when I go home to see her, but until then, I could use any information that might help me get a good night's sleep. So, do you think she's pregnant?

Adrianstalker

Didn't bother to read the other responses, but having been pregnant before at a young age(I lost the kid), I think I can help here. Spotting is normal, before and after you start your menstral cycle. If she is stressed about being pregnant, there is a big chance she'll miss her period. Every time I thought I might be pregnant, I got so stressed that I missed my period.

Go buy a test, and have her take it. The second she sees it's negative, her stress level will go down, and she will start in a few days. I actually started about 10 minutes after I saw the negative..lol.

Try not to add to her worry. Most likely, she is perfectly fine. Is she on birth control? If not, you should really consider it.

Good post. Im sorry for you loss though :(

Anyway, he already posted that his gf had her period, and that she will now start taking pills

be ready for it, is all i can say. be ready for it mentally for in the case that she actually is pregnant

My lady and I dont like to use protection because, well, we just dont. I pull out or finish in some other orifice, and sometimes she misses her period. Sometimes it just doesnt come until vey very late, at which point she'll end up bleeding again a few days later. Like2 periods inone. A womens body can be somewhat confusing when it comes to this and when hormones are jumping all over the place, it's hard to tell if it's because of an out of ordinary cycle or maybe one of your little guys escaped and violated one of her little ladies. but yea, my lady's period doesn't come on the dot when expected and so we had a few, um.....i dont want to say scared, but just curious times when we wondered whether she was or wasn't pregnant whenever her period wouldn't come when she'd more or less expect it to.

If you can't be financially ready(to young to work or whatever) then at the very least be ready for it mentally. if it does happen, congratulations because kids are a beautiful things to have.

Talk to a doctor