QOTD: Why do nice guys finish last?

In my expereince being a nice guy does make me finish last, and that's a good thing ;)

We can't generalize all nice guys though, I know a lot of nice guys that are now married.. Being nice doesn't necessarily mean that you're a doormat, ugly and boring.. Although that may be the case to some people..Ronstera

[QUOTE="Nikalai_88"]

[QUOTE="Bardock47"] Well, that does sound boring, I mean I consider myslef a nice guy, and i make jokes that probably do take it to far....is there like a universal definiotn between a dick and nice guy we can use? It seems different people have different defeintions. Whn I say nice guy, i just mena a guy thats generally nice and not a totall dick/.

Bardock47

Yeah, who knows? I thought that TP was talking about a really extreme definition of nice. A lot of people are "nice" if we define it as not being a total dick.

A guy who is always nice is screwed imo. If someone is mostly nice, they can still do well. As long as someone is persistent and not looking to climb quickly to success they can reach it in a nice manner.

[QUOTE="Bardock47"]

[QUOTE="Nikalai_88"]

Yeah, who knows? I thought that TP was talking about a really extreme definition of nice. A lot of people are "nice" if we define it as not being a total dick.

Nikalai_88

Yeah, that's true! But I was also thinking about this situation. Lets say you are working on a toughn work assignment.

Person A is the "nice" guy. After hearing about it he tells you that its going to be fine and thay you can do it! Nothing more you can say. Maybe you even feel like you can't actually "do it".

Person B after hearing about it, asks questions. Like why is it challenging and what problems are you having? Maybe after hearing more about it he can relate it to his own experiences and bring those up. After the conversation he can give you some encouraging remarks based on facts.

Both, Person A and Person B are "nice", the difference is is that Person B is more than that and is not just defined by being "nice".

[QUOTE="Bardock47"]

[QUOTE="Nikalai_88"]

Yeah, who knows? I thought that TP was talking about a really extreme definition of nice. A lot of people are "nice" if we define it as not being a total dick.

NiKva

ummm, I mean CHAARIZARD, CHAR CHAR *Flamethrower's*:P

[QUOTE="NiKva"]

[QUOTE="Bardock47"] true, i just seems a lot of definiotns are beong thrown around, and alot people seem to think of it as guy, thats just nice. Not funnny, active, charming hes just nice...idk, i just say all you need is confidense:P

Bardock47

ummm, I mean CHAARIZARD, CHAR CHAR *Flamethrower's*:P

[QUOTE="Bardock47"]

[QUOTE="NiKva"] Holy sh!t a talking Charizard! This is so cooooooool!!!

metroidprime55

ummm, I mean CHAARIZARD, CHAR CHAR *Flamethrower's*:P

CHARIZARD!! CHAR, CHAR, IZARD, CHAR CHARIZARD!!! *FIRE BLAST*

[QUOTE="Nikalai_88"]

[QUOTE="Bardock47"] true, i just seems a lot of definiotns are beong thrown around, and alot people seem to think of it as guy, thats just nice. Not funnny, active, charming hes just nice...idk, i just say all you need is confidense:P

Bardock47

Yeah, that's true! But I was also thinking about this situation. Lets say you are working on a toughn work assignment.

Person A is the "nice" guy. After hearing about it he tells you that its going to be fine and thay you can do it! Nothing more you can say. Maybe you even feel like you can't actually "do it".

Person B after hearing about it, asks questions. Like why is it challenging and what problems are you having? Maybe after hearing more about it he can relate it to his own experiences and bring those up. After the conversation he can give you some encouraging remarks based on facts.

Both, Person A and Person B are "nice", the difference is is that Person B is more than that and is not just defined by being "nice".

Agreed. To some people, being nice is like their first instinct.

So, do nice guys really do finish last? I guess we need to isolate being "nice" from all other qualities. For example. Person X and Person Y are almost EXACTLY the same, except Person X is nice... at times. Is Person Y going to be more successful?

[QUOTE="metroidprime55"][QUOTE="Bardock47"] Lol what?

ummm, I mean CHAARIZARD, CHAR CHAR *Flamethrower's*:P

Bardock47

CHARIZARD!! CHAR, CHAR, IZARD, CHAR CHARIZARD!!! *FIRE BLAST*

[QUOTE="Bardock47"]

[QUOTE="metroidprime55"] CHARAZARD! I WANT YOUR AUTOGRAPH! I HAVE YOUR GLURACK CARD!metroidprime55

CHARIZARD!! CHAR, CHAR, IZARD, CHAR CHARIZARD!!! *FIRE BLAST*

CHAR CHAR CHARIZARD *FIRE SPINS*

[QUOTE="Bardock47"]

[QUOTE="Nikalai_88"]

Yeah, that's true! But I was also thinking about this situation. Lets say you are working on a toughn work assignment.

Person A is the "nice" guy. After hearing about it he tells you that its going to be fine and thay you can do it! Nothing more you can say. Maybe you even feel like you can't actually "do it".

Person B after hearing about it, asks questions. Like why is it challenging and what problems are you having? Maybe after hearing more about it he can relate it to his own experiences and bring those up. After the conversation he can give you some encouraging remarks based on facts.

Both, Person A and Person B are "nice", the difference is is that Person B is more than that and is not just defined by being "nice".

Nikalai_88

Agreed. To some people, being nice is like their first instinct.

So, do nice guys really do finish last? I guess we need to isolate being "nice" from all other qualities. For example. Person X and Person Y are almost EXACTLY the same, except Person X is nice... at times. Is Person Y going to be more successful?

• Person 1: Is confident, fit, funny, outgoing, intellgient, but a dick.
• Person 2, exactly the same but isnt a dick, he is compassionate, nice, understanding and relatable.

If I have done it right, i think the victor is actually th nicer guy, and not the persn who is a dick 24/7, he has all the same qualitys someone would look for, and is still not an **** So, nice guys you now have no excuses? (if i did t right:P)

Because nice guys always get friend zoned.:(metroidprime55

[QUOTE="metroidprime55"]Because nice guys always get friend zoned.:(ghoklebutter

Blasphemy.

Nice guys always win. The cunning , The over smart always lose in the end.

i believe in that saying, i don't get why girls like the a-holes, i know a co-worker who treats his girlfriend like complete sh*t, he always hits her, and gets extremely jealous when she's looking at someone or when another guy talks to her, gets in their face and hits his girlfriend for looking at said guy, and is still with him, i don't get it

i believe in that saying, i don't get why girls like the a-holes, i know a co-worker who treats his girlfriend like complete sh*t, he always hits her, and gets extremely jealous when she's looking at someone or when another guy talks to her, gets in their face and hits his girlfriend for looking at said guy, and is still with him, i don't get it

killerband55

[QUOTE="killerband55"]

i believe in that saying, i don't get why girls like the a-holes, i know a co-worker who treats his girlfriend like complete sh*t, he always hits her, and gets extremely jealous when she's looking at someone or when another guy talks to her, gets in their face and hits his girlfriend for looking at said guy, and is still with him, i don't get it

Bardock47

[QUOTE="killerband55"]

i believe in that saying, i don't get why girls like the a-holes, i know a co-worker who treats his girlfriend like complete sh*t, he always hits her, and gets extremely jealous when she's looking at someone or when another guy talks to her, gets in their face and hits his girlfriend for looking at said guy, and is still with him, i don't get it

Bardock47

yeah, unfortunately the girl doesn't want any cops involved in their issues at all (seriously i tried to do something before in the past, but the girl didn't want me to get any type of police involved), so i didn't, she said she wants to take care of her own issues, so i'll grant her request

[QUOTE="Bardock47"]

[QUOTE="killerband55"]

i believe in that saying, i don't get why girls like the a-holes, i know a co-worker who treats his girlfriend like complete sh*t, he always hits her, and gets extremely jealous when she's looking at someone or when another guy talks to her, gets in their face and hits his girlfriend for looking at said guy, and is still with him, i don't get it

killerband55

yeah, unfortunately the girl doesn't want any cops involved in their issues at all (seriously i tried to do something before in the past, but the girl didn't want me to get any type of police involved), so i didn't, she said she wants to take care of her own issues, so i'll grant her request

[QUOTE="killerband55"]

[QUOTE="Bardock47"] Umm, u should probably do something..,u do realize thos os abuse?

ghoklebutter

yeah, unfortunately the girl doesn't want any cops involved in their issues at all (seriously i tried to do something before in the past, but the girl didn't want me to get any type of police involved), so i didn't, she said she wants to take care of her own issues, so i'll grant her request

i should probably tell ya, this was 2 years ago, and i did see them recently, and they are still together, but they seem to get along pretty well, but that's all i know

[QUOTE="ghoklebutter"][QUOTE="metroidprime55"]Because nice guys always get friend zoned.:(Bardock47

most nice guy is a wuss, never stand to himself and beliefs.

Not true, shane, sk-rapha is the best quake live player and he is the most religiious video game player I've ever seen and the nicest... and the smartest ql player http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltJtEu7TIYw

Depends on your definition of "nice". If you are talking about low-confidence/low-self esteem guys then YES, you do finish last. IF you let others make decisions for you then why would you finish first? You'll just fall into where others put you--obviously other guys would put you behind them in getting the girl. It's a m'fn race--get to it.

If you are talking about being nice as in being a good-hearted legit "nice" person then NO, you don't finish last.

If you think you have to be a douche to get a girl, then you've no idea how to get girls. Douches get girls over "nice" guys "ONLY" because Douches have confidence--actually overconfidence--but it'll only last for a limited amount of time until your "aura" wears off then the girl starts to look for someone else.

I believe that the ones who consider themselves "nice guys" are the ones who are insecure and have no self confidence. Women see right through that. My opinion is just from personal experience. I hear some dudes say "Oh my god, I'm so nice and respectful to girls but they always choose a peckerhead over me". Most of the time the fella saying this seems to have no self confidence and seems very insecure.

I'm a nice guy, but I'm also confident. And it SHOWS when I talk to people.

I'm really nice to anyone I talk to, but I can be strict around anyone that does something wrongto me.

Nice guys most of the time are lame,

1. predictable

2. cling

3. no swag

4. talk too much

5. gear from walmart

6. bench 100lbs or less

7. can't dance

8. pipe game is trash

9. always crying bout bs

10. Think too much just do it

No wonder they lose they on some boring stuff so it don't take much to get his women to upgrade.

I believe it, but women will grow out of this eventually. I believe it applies more towards high school students and college freshman students. When women think about their future, that's when they'll start finding the nice gentlemen.

ScottMescudi

Let me just say this:

I've never been in a relationship because most girls I've known see me as "too nice" or creepy. I open doors for people, I give up my seats, I lend out my study guides for finals (and that is NOT a smart thing to do in college), and to girls I seem like that creepy guy trying to score a free date. I'm not, I just hate seeming like a douche. Girls I know are attracted to the douches of life, those guys with some suave demeanor, but really no redeeming traits whatsoever: No intelligence, no manners, no helpful disposition, just douchebags. In the long run, I'd say a good 80% of them see the errors of their ways, but by then the nice guys are either taken by the "slim pickings" (the emotionally unstable girls no "up there" guy would date), or just moved on. You'd have to be damn lucky, DAMN lucky, to find a decent guy that late who hasn't been tainted in some way. By then, if we haven't been taken, we're either incredibly overwhelmed by our luck or emotionally "corrupted", meaning we're either distant or less nice.

So yes, Nice guys do finish last, and I'm damn sick of it.

Let me just say this:

I've never been in a relationship because most girls I've known see me as "too nice" or creepy. I open doors for people, I give up my seats, I lend out my study guides for finals (and that is NOT a smart thing to do in college), and to girls I seem like that creepy guy trying to score a free date. I'm not, I just hate seeming like a douche. Girls I know are attracted to the douches of life, those guys with some suave demeanor, but really no redeeming traits whatsoever: No intelligence, no manners, no helpful disposition, just douchebags. In the long run, I'd say a good 80% of them see the errors of their ways, but by then the nice guys are either taken by the "slim pickings" (the emotionally unstable girls no "up there" guy would date), or just moved on. You'd have to be damn lucky, DAMN lucky, to find a decent guy that late who hasn't been tainted in some way. By then, if we haven't been taken, we're either incredibly overwhelmed by our luck or emotionally "corrupted", meaning we're either distant or less nice.

So yes, Nice guys do finish last, and I'm damn sick of it.

WiiCubeM1

Buddy you won't be creepy if they know that you are doing this out of the kindness of your heart and not "trying to score a free date--stalker". Hell, to tell you the truth, you might actually pick up a girl if you were like "You're pretty hot, you can my seat!" But yea, mostly I say just flip the situation around. If some girl all of a sudden decided to "open the door for me and let me sit in her seat, then gave me her study guide without me asking at all--I'd be pretty weirded out myself. I think in your case, you might be trying "too" hard. That's just a guess. I don't know you but that's the impression I got.

Let me just say this:

I've never been in a relationship because most girls I've known see me as "too nice" or creepy. I open doors for people, I give up my seats, I lend out my study guides for finals (and that is NOT a smart thing to do in college), and to girls I seem like that creepy guy trying to score a free date. I'm not, I just hate seeming like a douche. Girls I know are attracted to the douches of life, those guys with some suave demeanor, but really no redeeming traits whatsoever: No intelligence, no manners, no helpful disposition, just douchebags. In the long run, I'd say a good 80% of them see the errors of their ways, but by then the nice guys are either taken by the "slim pickings" (the emotionally unstable girls no "up there" guy would date), or just moved on. You'd have to be damn lucky, DAMN lucky, to find a decent guy that late who hasn't been tainted in some way. By then, if we haven't been taken, we're either incredibly overwhelmed by our luck or emotionally "corrupted", meaning we're either distant or less nice.

So yes, Nice guys do finish last, and I'm damn sick of it.

WiiCubeM1

Kid you are creepy think about what you just said. Stoping trying so hard and just let it happen. I don't really ask I tell them for example

Most guys say want to come to my hous but I say we are going to my house. Sure it seems cocky but it works if seem like you don't have a clue women will walk all over you.

[QUOTE="WiiCubeM1"]

Let me just say this:

I've never been in a relationship because most girls I've known see me as "too nice" or creepy. I open doors for people, I give up my seats, I lend out my study guides for finals (and that is NOT a smart thing to do in college), and to girls I seem like that creepy guy trying to score a free date. I'm not, I just hate seeming like a douche. Girls I know are attracted to the douches of life, those guys with some suave demeanor, but really no redeeming traits whatsoever: No intelligence, no manners, no helpful disposition, just douchebags. In the long run, I'd say a good 80% of them see the errors of their ways, but by then the nice guys are either taken by the "slim pickings" (the emotionally unstable girls no "up there" guy would date), or just moved on. You'd have to be damn lucky, DAMN lucky, to find a decent guy that late who hasn't been tainted in some way. By then, if we haven't been taken, we're either incredibly overwhelmed by our luck or emotionally "corrupted", meaning we're either distant or less nice.

So yes, Nice guys do finish last, and I'm damn sick of it.

no-scope-AK47

Kid you are creepy think about what you just said. Stoping trying so hard and just let it happen. I don't really ask I tell them for example

Most guys say want to come to my hous but I say we are going to my house. Sure it seems cocky but it works if seem like you don't have a clue women will walk all over you.

I don't really try hard at this, I couldn't honestly care less about being in a relationship when I have some other things to worry about, like trying to keep my job and not failing school. I just really hate seeming like a douchebag. It eats at the back of my mind when I know I can do something simple like this but don't, it borders on OCD.

The women I know who walk all over me are ones whose opinions and, well, LIFE, I could care less about. I'm not looking for an easy date or someone whose opinion of me is based on whether or not I demand respect, I just want someone with a stable personality and leniant on stupid sh*t, like forgetting an anniversary or annoying habits (if all of these things are unintentional, of course). But like I said, right now, relationships are at the bottom of the list of important things right now.

[QUOTE="WiiCubeM1"]

Let me just say this:

I've never been in a relationship because most girls I've known see me as "too nice" or creepy. I open doors for people, I give up my seats, I lend out my study guides for finals (and that is NOT a smart thing to do in college), and to girls I seem like that creepy guy trying to score a free date. I'm not, I just hate seeming like a douche. Girls I know are attracted to the douches of life, those guys with some suave demeanor, but really no redeeming traits whatsoever: No intelligence, no manners, no helpful disposition, just douchebags. In the long run, I'd say a good 80% of them see the errors of their ways, but by then the nice guys are either taken by the "slim pickings" (the emotionally unstable girls no "up there" guy would date), or just moved on. You'd have to be damn lucky, DAMN lucky, to find a decent guy that late who hasn't been tainted in some way. By then, if we haven't been taken, we're either incredibly overwhelmed by our luck or emotionally "corrupted", meaning we're either distant or less nice.

So yes, Nice guys do finish last, and I'm damn sick of it.

cdragon_88

Buddy you won't be creepy if they know that you are doing this out of the kindness of your heart and not "trying to score a free date--stalker". Hell, to tell you the truth, you might actually pick up a girl if you were like "You're pretty hot, you can my seat!" But yea, mostly I say just flip the situation around. If some girl all of a sudden decided to "open the door for me and let me sit in her seat, then gave me her study guide without me asking at all--I'd be pretty weirded out myself. I think in your case, you might be trying "too" hard. That's just a guess. I don't know you but that's the impression I got.

Well, it's like I said in the post above, I'm not looking for a relationship right now, this is literally just me. I'm not trying to impress anyone, I just hate seeming like a douche. I like helping people simply because that's me. My life is way too hectic to juggle college life, a physically demanding job (I'm a farmhand, all I do is physical labor 8 hours a day), and then an emotionally draining relationship to top it all off. Too much for me.

[QUOTE="no-scope-AK47"]

[QUOTE="WiiCubeM1"]

Let me just say this:

I've never been in a relationship because most girls I've known see me as "too nice" or creepy. I open doors for people, I give up my seats, I lend out my study guides for finals (and that is NOT a smart thing to do in college), and to girls I seem like that creepy guy trying to score a free date. I'm not, I just hate seeming like a douche. Girls I know are attracted to the douches of life, those guys with some suave demeanor, but really no redeeming traits whatsoever: No intelligence, no manners, no helpful disposition, just douchebags. In the long run, I'd say a good 80% of them see the errors of their ways, but by then the nice guys are either taken by the "slim pickings" (the emotionally unstable girls no "up there" guy would date), or just moved on. You'd have to be damn lucky, DAMN lucky, to find a decent guy that late who hasn't been tainted in some way. By then, if we haven't been taken, we're either incredibly overwhelmed by our luck or emotionally "corrupted", meaning we're either distant or less nice.

So yes, Nice guys do finish last, and I'm damn sick of it.

WiiCubeM1

Kid you are creepy think about what you just said. Stoping trying so hard and just let it happen. I don't really ask I tell them for example

Most guys say want to come to my hous but I say we are going to my house. Sure it seems cocky but it works if seem like you don't have a clue women will walk all over you.

I don't really try hard at this, I couldn't honestly care less about being in a relationship when I have some other things to worry about, like trying to keep my job and not failing school. I just really hate seeming like a douchebag. It eats at the back of my mind when I know I can do something simple like this but don't, it borders on OCD.

The women I know who walk all over me are ones whose opinions and, well, LIFE, I could care less about. I'm not looking for an easy date or someone whose opinion of me is based on whether or not I demand respect, I just want someone with a stable personality and leniant on stupid sh*t, like forgetting an anniversary or annoying habits (if all of these things are unintentional, of course). But like I said, right now, relationships are at the bottom of the list of important things right now.

To many people a leader is a douchebag get over it. Not everybody is going to like you and frankly many haters will envy you and try to bring you down when you try to get ahead. The doucebag won't let small things get to him just get results. This is why most nice guys finish last cause they too busy worrying about others instead of themselves.

Because they're boring.

Heres another example. I tried being the nice cute guy & thats what girls would say and nothing happened. So I started being a jerk & the legs opened up.

Where I worked this new cashier was hired. Anytime that happened all the dudes were always there tyring to hit on the new girl. I ignored her. Walked by wouldn't even look. We all went out one night. The guys I was with saw her at the bar and she was all huggy with them saying hello then she saw me and immediately went into this tirade about how I was a snob and never say hi. She was backing me up to the wall, the three guys i was with laughed and said CYA and kept going.

I asked what I was supposed to do be all over her like everyone else ? She started complaining getting in my face. I said how about this. And kissed her.

She clamped onto my face and got me in a hug and wouldn't let go. She basically dry humped me against the wall. The guys came back and were like WTF ? First shoving me & now pretty much raping me.

I was at the bar 10 min, and then went back to her place.

Playing hard to get & being a jerk works with the females. You just mix it up at the right time.

You could say nice girls finish last as well. Take a slutty girl who's halfway decent looking and dresses all sexy and is extremely outgoing - what guy is going to pass up the opportunity to go out with her? Not too many. That's basically the female equivalent of the male douchebag. The nice girls are probably more quiet and dress more conservatively and are left sitting on the sidelines.

That whole thing goes away when you get a bit older. Douchebags don't tend to get into professional jobs, they're more likely to be putting fresh tar on people's driveways or something. So that thins their population out quite a bit. And as people mature they get more relationship-oriented (in general, not everyone matures of course) and the d-bags are left dating sluts and strippers and living in a dive of a one-bedroom apartment and bouncing checks and getting drunk 7 nights a week, while the rest of us are married and raising families in our nice, financially secure suburban homes.

And another thing: about 99% of guys think of themselves as being a "nice guy". You can ask the biggest a-hole in the world what he thinks of himself and he'll probably tell you he's a nice guy. So anytime anybody finishes last they can relate to that saying.

But if you're just staring at girls from 50 feet away, afraid to talk to them, your loss in the dating scene doesn't have anything do do with your level of niceness. And when the "relationship" is nothing but a daydream, of course everyone imagines themselves as being as nice as can be.

Nice guys dont finish last. It's just that many people who are perceived to be "nice" are just spineless, anxiety laden, socially awkward people who hide behind the title of "nice". I know plenty of confident, nice people who do just well. But if you sit back on your heels and are afraid to take the initiative, you will always finish last. "Nice" guys finish last because they do nothing to finish first. They see a woman they like and never do anything about it. Newsflash. She's not going to ask you out, if you want her, ask her.

Nice guys don't finish last. Needy pushovers who never speak up for themselves or actively go after what they want finish last.