Sweet Jesus, this mom is crazy.

[QUOTE="Lonelynight"][QUOTE="cmdrmonkey45"] The only part I agree with is the not feeding part.[QUOTE="cmdrmonkey45"]They end up hating the careers like medicine or law or engineering they've been forced into. They end up hating their parents. And they end up absolutely miserable in life.GabuEx

The mother basically has a box for both her children that she's determined to shove them into regardless of how well they fit. She's not allowing them to have any sleepovers or to watch any TV or play any video games (something that will likely severely hamper her children's social growth); she's not allowing them to pursue extracurricular activities of their choice; she's expecting them to be the #1 student in every single academic subject (a completely ridiculous expectation); and she's forcing them to play instruments of her choosing, whether they want to or not. By the time these kids are eighteen, they will basically have no self-identity whatsoever and will know nothing other than pleasing their mother out of fear of the consequences if they don't.

I have seen many, many people who are outrageous perfectionists. Their histories always inevitably are like this, and they are always inevitably miserable, whether or not they let on. Children need to be able to express themselves. Parents outright forcing their children to be exactly how they want them to be, not for a moment allowing the child any input regarding what her actual interests are, are absolutely committing child abuse. There is no way the child is getting out of that without being psychologically damaged.

This style of parenting also crushes any sense of creativity, and I think it's why the Chinese never invent anything, and just end up copying and cloning western ideas and inventions.

Did half of you guys even read the article? Read the article before making silly assumptions. In my opinion, I think the woman raises children that are destined to success. Feel free to argue against me.

Lordy, that's funny. I'm skimming through most of the essay, but I'm not horrified at all. My parents started out like that when I was younger, then over the years they've pretty much become the so-called "Western parents". The part where she acted up in front of her friends cracked me up the most, I think. And "fatty, lose some weight" because I know a ton of Asian parents/people who would do that. Y'all might say her kids will hate her in the end, but our culture does things a little differently. In the photo, those are some grown-ass kids. If they haven't rebelled and left home already, they're already in the clear. And since I assume the mother is looking after them financially in every way possible, their lives are probably better than a ton of other people.

And some Canadians wonder why their children aren't getting into university, instead of the Asian kids.

This style of parenting also crushes any sense of creativity, and I think it's why the Chinese never invent anything, and just end up copying and cloning western ideas and inventions.

cmdrmonkey45

Wow. You need to retake history, my friend. Who ever taught you the Chinese copy everything? We magically stumbled upon gunpowder? Silk? If anything, it's the European traders who can't create anything and take from the Asian cultures.

[QUOTE="cmdrmonkey45"]

This style of parenting also crushes any sense of creativity, and I think it's why the Chinese never invent anything, and just end up copying and cloning western ideas and inventions.

Sharpie125

Wow. You need to retake history, my friend. Who ever taught you the Chinese copy everything? We magically stumbled upon gunpowder? Silk? If anything, it's the European traders who can't create anything and take from the Asian cultures.

All ancient history. What have the Chinese invented in the last hundred years? All of their products are cheap copies of western products.

My mom and dad survived the Khmer Rouge, and they always dreamed of coming to live in America. Being a slum in Cambodia or anywhere in the South East, its like a miracle to come to America. So when you do get to come here, you dream of your kids becoming rich and famous. And having a better life then your own. My parents always push me because they don't want me to suffer and beg for money like they did. They worked really hard to get where they are at. If i fail then my parents will feel as if surviving a genocide was pointless, coming to america was not needed, and working real hard was pointless.

[QUOTE="Sharpie125"]

[QUOTE="cmdrmonkey45"]

This style of parenting also crushes any sense of creativity, and I think it's why the Chinese never invent anything, and just end up copying and cloning western ideas and inventions.

cmdrmonkey45

Wow. You need to retake history, my friend. Who ever taught you the Chinese copy everything? We magically stumbled upon gunpowder? Silk? If anything, it's the European traders who can't create anything and take from the Asian cultures.

All ancient history. What have the Chinese invented in the last hundred years? All of their products are cheap copies of western products.

Wow, that really sucks.

My mom and dad survived the Khmer Rouge, and they always dreamed of coming to live in America. Being a slum in Cambodia or anywhere in the South East, its like a miracle to come to America. So when you do get to come here, you dream of your kids becoming rich and famous. And having a better life then your own. My parents always push me because they don't want me to suffer and beg for money like they did. They worked really hard to get where they are at. If i fail then my parents will feel as if surviving a genocide was pointless, coming to america was not needed, and working real hard was pointless.

VensInferno

I understand that position, the point is, what's the definition of 'failing'.

[QUOTE="Sharpie125"]

[QUOTE="cmdrmonkey45"]

This style of parenting also crushes any sense of creativity, and I think it's why the Chinese never invent anything, and just end up copying and cloning western ideas and inventions.

cmdrmonkey45

Wow. You need to retake history, my friend. Who ever taught you the Chinese copy everything? We magically stumbled upon gunpowder? Silk? If anything, it's the European traders who can't create anything and take from the Asian cultures.

All ancient history. What have the Chinese invented in the last hundred years? All of their products are cheap copies of western products.

Or Russian.

[QUOTE="VensInferno"]

My mom and dad survived the Khmer Rouge, and they always dreamed of coming to live in America. Being a slum in Cambodia or anywhere in the South East, its like a miracle to come to America. So when you do get to come here, you dream of your kids becoming rich and famous. And having a better life then your own. My parents always push me because they don't want me to suffer and beg for money like they did. They worked really hard to get where they are at. If i fail then my parents will feel as if surviving a genocide was pointless, coming to america was not needed, and working real hard was pointless.

TheFlush

I understand that position, the point is, what's the definition of 'failing'.

"What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences."

What kind of awful logic is this :?? They won't have fun so you have to make them work to have fun?

Not getting a job, not going to school, dropping out of school. Etc. My sister makes my parents quite upset. She always lie, she gets bad grades, and she waste all her money on beer and clubs. My parents lost hope for her. Now im left and all the pressure is on me :?

VensInferno

You don't have to live some super strict life to go to college and get a job. You do have to work at it but that doesn't mean you can't have any fun. There is one thing I do agree with though. If your kid is getting fat you should tell them.

My mom and dad survived the Khmer Rouge, and they always dreamed of coming to live in America. Being a slum in Cambodia or anywhere in the South East, its like a miracle to come to America. So when you do get to come here, you dream of your kids becoming rich and famous. And having a better life then your own. My parents always push me because they don't want me to suffer and beg for money like they did. They worked really hard to get where they are at. If i fail then my parents will feel as if surviving a genocide was pointless, coming to america was not needed, and working real hard was pointless.

VensInferno

Are you still in school? If so, are you passing your classes? If so, you are hardly failing if you are doing well. If you have a particular career that you like, go to school for it so you can be good at it. If you are already out of school and have a steady job, then again, you haven't failed.

[QUOTE="TheFlush"]

[QUOTE="VensInferno"]

My mom and dad survived the Khmer Rouge, and they always dreamed of coming to live in America. Being a slum in Cambodia or anywhere in the South East, its like a miracle to come to America. So when you do get to come here, you dream of your kids becoming rich and famous. And having a better life then your own. My parents always push me because they don't want me to suffer and beg for money like they did. They worked really hard to get where they are at. If i fail then my parents will feel as if surviving a genocide was pointless, coming to america was not needed, and working real hard was pointless.

VensInferno

I understand that position, the point is, what's the definition of 'failing'.

I find that perfectly reasonable. This Chinese 'mother' however, pushes it into unreal levels.
IMO, if you can support yourself and are happy with what you do and who you are, than it's mission accomplished.

[QUOTE="VensInferno"]

[QUOTE="TheFlush"]

I understand that position, the point is, what's the definition of 'failing'.

TheFlush

I find that perfectly reasonable. This Chinese 'mother' however, pushes it into unreal levels.
IMO, if you can support yourself and are happy with what you do and who you are, than it's mission accomplished.

[QUOTE="TheFlush"]

[QUOTE="VensInferno"]

My mom and dad survived the Khmer Rouge, and they always dreamed of coming to live in America. Being a slum in Cambodia or anywhere in the South East, its like a miracle to come to America. So when you do get to come here, you dream of your kids becoming rich and famous. And having a better life then your own. My parents always push me because they don't want me to suffer and beg for money like they did. They worked really hard to get where they are at. If i fail then my parents will feel as if surviving a genocide was pointless, coming to america was not needed, and working real hard was pointless.

VensInferno

I understand that position, the point is, what's the definition of 'failing'.

That mother is a sick, twisted, b****.

[QUOTE="VensInferno"]

My mom and dad survived the Khmer Rouge, and they always dreamed of coming to live in America. Being a slum in Cambodia or anywhere in the South East, its like a miracle to come to America. So when you do get to come here, you dream of your kids becoming rich and famous. And having a better life then your own. My parents always push me because they don't want me to suffer and beg for money like they did. They worked really hard to get where they are at. If i fail then my parents will feel as if surviving a genocide was pointless, coming to america was not needed, and working real hard was pointless.

TheFlush

I understand that position, the point is, what's the definition of 'failing'.

^edit* succeeding includes a having a good job that you like doing

I have a Chinese friend and his folks are the same way, they work him to the death and don't allow him any fun or freedom. Its sad really because its destroying the guy mentally, slowly and slowly but the fact is its messed him up pretty bad...

sad but true. I didnt have one chinese kid on any of my sports teams growing up

either way, Chinese...American...European...mothers aroudn the world **** up their kids. End of story.

sad but true. I didnt have one chinese kid on any of my sports teams growing up

either way, Chinese...American...European...mothers aroudn the world **** up their kids. End of story.

mrbojangles25

Yeah, pretty much. You can look at this lady and say "lol, Chinese parents", but then why not look at some parents that don't give a **** about their children and say "lol, American parents"? It's about as accurate.

Lordy, that's funny. I'm skimming through most of the essay, but I'm not horrified at all.

That's sad.

If they haven't rebelled and left home already, they're already in the clear.

That doesn't even make sense.

And since I assume the mother is looking after them financially in every way possible, their lives are probably better than a ton of other people.Sharpie125

The fact that they grew up with that horrendous s*** of a woman means that they aren't by default.

[QUOTE="mrbojangles25"]

sad but true. I didnt have one chinese kid on any of my sports teams growing up

either way, Chinese...American...European...mothers aroudn the world **** up their kids. End of story.

GabuEx

Yeah, pretty much. You can look at this lady and say "lol, Chinese parents", but then why not look at some parents that don't give a **** about their children and say "lol, American parents"? It's about as accurate.

yeah...the Chinese method is more akin to taking a hammer and breaking your bones, then resetting them, making them stronger

the American method consist of being kind while your child is awake, but poisoning them in their sleep to build up tolerance. They might get sick, but they dont know why until many many years later :P

come to college time, they will both turn into porn stars. Or knocked up in high school. Just wait.

all this controlling will suffocate them

Eh, whatever. Mother's choice. If she wants to be like that and not realize the freedom of her childhood, go for it.

It'll only be worse when they are exposed to other stuff, they will end up making poor decisions and experiencing them all at once too quick.

come to college time, they will both turn into porn stars. Or knocked up in high school. Just wait.

all this controlling will suffocate them

suitmypants

yeah she has most probably ruined their lives,once they see the first chance at freedom they'll go wild.Plus they will spend all their adult lives wondering how their non existant childhood would have been.Being so suppresed will make them date the worst guys possible in order to "go against" their parent control,making them failing at their personal lifes too.And having a bad personal life makes all other aspects bad no matter how successful you are

[QUOTE="suitmypants"]

come to college time, they will both turn into porn stars. Or knocked up in high school. Just wait.

all this controlling will suffocate them

Hate_Squad

yeah she has most probably ruined their lives,once they see the first chance at freedom they'll go wild.Plus they will spend all their adult lives wondering how their non existant childhood would have been.Being so suppresed will make them date the worst guys possible in order to "go against" their parent control,making them failing at their personal lifes too.And having a bad personal life makes all other aspects bad no matter how successful you are

indeed, a lack of independence during youth (i.e. being told what do constantly) results in a disrespect for independence later in life.

Happened to me, thats for sure...had no idea what I wanted to because I've been told what to do for 18 years. Resulted in depression, weight gain, and apathy. Much better now, though :D

Heil Mother!

Heartless b****.

[QUOTE="mrbojangles25"]

sad but true. I didnt have one chinese kid on any of my sports teams growing up

either way, Chinese...American...European...mothers aroudn the world **** up their kids. End of story.

GabuEx

Yeah, pretty much. You can look at this lady and say "lol, Chinese parents", but then why not look at some parents that don't give a **** about their children and say "lol, American parents"? It's about as accurate.

Am I the only one thinking that linked article is an elaborate satire? The author is a Law Professor at Yale not a Nazi.

Let's take for example part about being number 1 in the class. What happens when in one class are two chinese children brought up by those stereotypical "Chinese Mothers". If the rules stated in article were true, the children would have no choice but to study to death.

I study medicine to be become a physician. I spend 6 to 10 hours a day learningfrom books, plus I clock some time at the Medschool working at laboratory or in the clinic. I know how tough the academic can get. Even in my position I refuse to believe that mentioned earlier article is 100% accurate.

Ah well, I'm glad she was never my parent. Sounds like a major "no fun police" figure.

[QUOTE="Sharpie125"]

[QUOTE="cmdrmonkey45"]

This style of parenting also crushes any sense of creativity, and I think it's why the Chinese never invent anything, and just end up copying and cloning western ideas and inventions.

cmdrmonkey45

Wow. You need to retake history, my friend. Who ever taught you the Chinese copy everything? We magically stumbled upon gunpowder? Silk? If anything, it's the European traders who can't create anything and take from the Asian cultures.

All ancient history. What have the Chinese invented in the last hundred years? All of their products are cheap copies of western products.

That's seriously messed up.

Sucks to be them.

She'll regret it, those kids will eventually hate her when they grow up. hockey73