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deactivated-60678a6f9e4d4

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#151 deactivated-60678a6f9e4d4
Member since 2007 • 10077 Posts

Great story! I wanna be in part 2! I'll be a troll.

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_LiquidFlame_

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#152 _LiquidFlame_
Member since 2007 • 13736 Posts
Lol what the heck? Good job though, 8/10.
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aliblabla2007

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#153 aliblabla2007
Member since 2007 • 16756 Posts
Oh yeah, I want to play a role in part 2, as a lurker from that "place that's constantly in a multilateral war". :P
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darksword1123

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#154 darksword1123
Member since 2004 • 30121 Posts
Pretty decent.
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Theokhoth

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#155 Theokhoth
Member since 2008 • 36799 Posts

Holy moly, I always read your name as The Ok Hoth. So is it Theo K Hoth or Theo Khoth?

Anywho, awesome story. 10/10

I wouldn't mind being in it, unless you have too many people already. :P Either way I eagerly look forward to part 2.

howlrunner13

My name is pronouned Theo-Khoth (THEO-Kahth).:P

I might be able to put you in, but I think the second part has enough characters. Maybe.;)

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Theokhoth

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#156 Theokhoth
Member since 2008 • 36799 Posts

This is one of the best things I've read all year.

I wanna be a villain in part 2! :P

GabuEx

Really? I had planned on making you a good guy.

Well, I think I can change it up a bit.;)

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deactivated-5c35826ea3913

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#157 deactivated-5c35826ea3913
Member since 2004 • 5298 Posts
I read it. I liked it. I've never posted in OT before but this has relevance to me in more ways than one. Will the vagueness about the location of the resistance be lifted or otherwise cleared up in the next installment? Possibly a name given? We always like new recruits :twisted:
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TAKE_IT_BACK

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#158 TAKE_IT_BACK
Member since 2008 • 3850 Posts

Wow, nice job. Can't wait for part 2;)

Someone should do a system wars one...

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#159 deactivated-5e836a855beb2
Member since 2005 • 95573 Posts
Theo-Khoth (THEO-Kahth).:PTheokhoth
i always said theeeawk-hoth
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Theokhoth

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#160 Theokhoth
Member since 2008 • 36799 Posts

When do you think you'll have the next installment released, Theokhoth?-Jiggles-

Sometime next week, barring any complications in real life, or. . . .a TR. >_>

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#161 xxDustmanxx
Member since 2007 • 2598 Posts
That was an entertaining read theokhoth, great job. I look forward to reading the next couple of pages.
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Theokhoth

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#162 Theokhoth
Member since 2008 • 36799 Posts
Guys. . . .I'm not turning it into a full-fledged book. :P First, I don't have the time, energy, money or literary skills to write a full book. Second, I don't think CNET would like it very much if I began selling books about their website. >_>
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#163 Funky_Llama
Member since 2006 • 18428 Posts

My name is pronouned Theo-Khoth (THEO-Kahth).:P

Theokhoth

With an 'a'? D:

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#164 -tridgen-
Member since 2005 • 1535 Posts
That was really awesome! :D

by the way can i be in part two?pleeeeease! :P
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Theokhoth

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#165 Theokhoth
Member since 2008 • 36799 Posts
[QUOTE="Theokhoth"]

My name is pronouned Theo-Khoth (THEO-Kahth).:P

Funky_Llama

With an 'a'? D:

No. That's just how it's pronounced, making an "ah" sound.

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deactivated-5e836a855beb2

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#166 deactivated-5e836a855beb2
Member since 2005 • 95573 Posts
Crap. I just realized I was in it. I'd better read it now >_>
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#167 Funky_Llama
Member since 2006 • 18428 Posts
[QUOTE="Funky_Llama"][QUOTE="Theokhoth"]

My name is pronouned Theo-Khoth (THEO-Kahth).:P

Theokhoth

With an 'a'? D:

No. That's just how it's pronounced, making an "ah" sound.

Pfft, I'm far too British to do that. :P
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deactivated-5e836a855beb2

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#169 deactivated-5e836a855beb2
Member since 2005 • 95573 Posts

Why wouldn't CNET like u selling books bout their website, it's free advertising

999realthings
exactly, free advertising for theokhoth.
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xMOBSTER23x

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#170 xMOBSTER23x
Member since 2008 • 914 Posts
10/10.
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Theokhoth

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#171 Theokhoth
Member since 2008 • 36799 Posts

[QUOTE="Theokhoth"]Guys. . . .I'm not turning it into a full-fledged book. :P First, I don't have the time, energy, money or literary skills to write a full book. Second, I don't think CNET would like it very much if I began selling books about their website. >_>999realthings

Why wouldn't CNET like u selling books bout their website, it's free advertising

Look at the bottom of the page:

© 2008 CNET Networks, Inc., a CBS Company. All rights reserved.

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Theokhoth

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#172 Theokhoth
Member since 2008 • 36799 Posts
[QUOTE="999realthings"]

Why wouldn't CNET like u selling books bout their website, it's free advertising

Jandurin

exactly, free advertising for theokhoth.

Did you read it yet?

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battlefront23

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#174 battlefront23
Member since 2006 • 12625 Posts
Put me in part two! :)
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#175 deactivated-5e836a855beb2
Member since 2005 • 95573 Posts
[QUOTE="Jandurin"][QUOTE="999realthings"]

Why wouldn't CNET like u selling books bout their website, it's free advertising

Theokhoth

exactly, free advertising for theokhoth.

Did you read it yet?

I've decided to read it while I drink tea. So, I've heated the water, steeped the tea, and poured it. Now I await its cooling. I put too much thought into some things sometimes. :P
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Theokhoth

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#176 Theokhoth
Member since 2008 • 36799 Posts

Oh yea, juz wonderin how many characters you planin to have in ur story?999realthings

I don't have a set number, but I don't want a truly massive amount.

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Theokhoth

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#177 Theokhoth
Member since 2008 • 36799 Posts

Put me in part two! :)battlefront23

You'll definitely be in one of the next parts; haven't decided which one, though.

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#178 Lonelynight
Member since 2006 • 30051 Posts

Look at the bottom of the page:

© 2008 CNET Networks, Inc., a CBS Company. All rights reserved.

Theokhoth

Well you aren't exactly using any materials from their sites.

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battlefront23

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#179 battlefront23
Member since 2006 • 12625 Posts

[QUOTE="battlefront23"]Put me in part two! :)Theokhoth

You'll definitely be in one of the next parts; haven't decided which one, though.

Make me something like Jack Bauer or Batman! :D

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#180 xMOBSTER23x
Member since 2008 • 914 Posts
I love you Theo.
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Theokhoth

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#181 Theokhoth
Member since 2008 • 36799 Posts
[QUOTE="Theokhoth"]

[QUOTE="battlefront23"]Put me in part two! :)battlefront23

You'll definitely be in one of the next parts; haven't decided which one, though.

Make me something like Jack Bauer or Batman! :D

My only issue will be giving you a name. "battlefront" isn't exactly a person's name. . . .

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#182 xMOBSTER23x
Member since 2008 • 914 Posts
[QUOTE="battlefront23"][QUOTE="Theokhoth"]

[QUOTE="battlefront23"]Put me in part two! :)Theokhoth

You'll definitely be in one of the next parts; haven't decided which one, though.

Make me something like Jack Bauer or Batman! :D

My only issue will be giving you a name. "battlefront" isn't exactly a person's name. . . .

That could be like his code name. He could be some kind of recon soldier or something.

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deactivated-5e836a855beb2

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#183 deactivated-5e836a855beb2
Member since 2005 • 95573 Posts
:P Cool. But it ended too abruptly :( I'd read more in the same vein/10. And I have blond hair. Though it's working its way to brown. Only my beard is red.
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#184 deactivated-5e836a855beb2
Member since 2005 • 95573 Posts
Argh. Now you've got me in a book reading mood. OH crap, my library is holding Tai-Pan for me! I should go get it.
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deactivated-5e7f221e304c9

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#185 deactivated-5e7f221e304c9
Member since 2004 • 14645 Posts
Good, it just needs some elaboration.
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zman32

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#186 zman32
Member since 2006 • 264 Posts
That was amazing. And maybe I could have a little teenie small part? :oops:
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#187 xMOBSTER23x
Member since 2008 • 914 Posts

Argh. Now you've got me in a book reading mood. OH crap, my library is holding Tai-Pan for me! I should go get it.Jandurin

Yeah books FTW

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Theokhoth

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#188 Theokhoth
Member since 2008 • 36799 Posts

Good, it just needs some elaboration. jaydough

Moar Jaydough?

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deactivated-5e836a855beb2

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#189 deactivated-5e836a855beb2
Member since 2005 • 95573 Posts
I can help you figure out which character types go with which users. I'm pretty good at reading people, even through text. I'm modest, too.
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Theokhoth

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#190 Theokhoth
Member since 2008 • 36799 Posts

I can help you figure out which character types go with which users. I'm pretty good at reading people, even through text. I'm modest, too.Jandurin

Cool.

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horgen

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#191 horgen  Moderator
Member since 2006 • 127733 Posts
Wow :shock: Dude this is epic :shock:
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deactivated-5e7f221e304c9

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#192 deactivated-5e7f221e304c9
Member since 2004 • 14645 Posts

[QUOTE="jaydough"] Good, it just needs some elaboration. Theokhoth

Moar Jaydough?

Sure.
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horgen

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#193 horgen  Moderator
Member since 2006 • 127733 Posts
[QUOTE="Jandurin"]I can help you figure out which character types go with which users. I'm pretty good at reading people, even through text. I'm modest, too.

I wonder how you will describe me :P
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deactivated-5e836a855beb2

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#194 deactivated-5e836a855beb2
Member since 2005 • 95573 Posts
[QUOTE="horgen123"][QUOTE="Jandurin"]I can help you figure out which character types go with which users. I'm pretty good at reading people, even through text. I'm modest, too.

I wonder how you will describe me :P

You're the doctor! Sorry, your avatar is more important than your personality, in this case.
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Video_Game_King

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#195 Video_Game_King
Member since 2003 • 27545 Posts

Guys. . . .I'm not turning it into a full-fledged book. :P First, I don't have the time, energy, money or literary skills to write a full book. Second, I don't think CNET would like it very much if I began selling books about their website. >_>Theokhoth

Come on, you could turn it into a book. Or I could :P.

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Video_Game_King

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#196 Video_Game_King
Member since 2003 • 27545 Posts

I can help you figure out which character types go with which users. I'm pretty good at reading people, even through text. I'm modest, too.Jandurin

Really? Then what am I like? And there's stuff about me which text can't tell (because I already put it into text).

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battlefront23

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#197 battlefront23
Member since 2006 • 12625 Posts
[QUOTE="battlefront23"][QUOTE="Theokhoth"]

[QUOTE="battlefront23"]Put me in part two! :)Theokhoth

You'll definitely be in one of the next parts; haven't decided which one, though.

Make me something like Jack Bauer or Batman! :D

My only issue will be giving you a name. "battlefront" isn't exactly a person's name. . . .

It can be my codename. Matt-4542 and Genetic Code both know my real name. :lol:

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deactivated-5e836a855beb2

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#198 deactivated-5e836a855beb2
Member since 2005 • 95573 Posts

[QUOTE="Jandurin"]I can help you figure out which character types go with which users. I'm pretty good at reading people, even through text. I'm modest, too.Video_Game_King

Really? Then what am I like? And there's stuff about me which text can't tell (because I already put it into text).

I didn't expect this.
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battlefront23

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#199 battlefront23
Member since 2006 • 12625 Posts

I can help you figure out which character types go with which users. I'm pretty good at reading people, even through text. I'm modest, too.Jandurin

Than what would I be?

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KOTORkicker

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#200 KOTORkicker
Member since 2007 • 4595 Posts

I wrote a bit of a story, starring the OT! This is part one, titled The OT Resistance. It's not a sterling piece of work, but. . . give it a try. It's also kinda long. Enjoy!

It was a cold day in OT. But then, that was the norm now, wasn't it? Wasn't always that way. . . .

OT (short for Omnis Terra) was one of several cities residing in the country of GS324. The country had another name once: a full name, without numbers, but that was a long time ago, before. . .

Khoth kept his head down and walked quickly through the streets, ducking in and out of alleyways and repeatedly looking over his shoulder. He knew that he didn't have much to fear; after all, with his clean record he'd probably only get a warning for breaking the Terms of Usefulness by being out here, but there were rumors. . . .

"God doesn't exist, you stupid, delusional nut!"

Khoth stopped short and looked to the direction the voice came from. Two people were arguing in the street, apparently about whether or not God exists. Several people watched the argument, but only the two people involved discussed.

"Yes he does, you amoral monkey-man!"

Khoth was tempted to jump in, being a believer in God himself, but decided against it. He had things to do. He also knew that the insults in the argument would summon one of them at any time. . .

Khoth kept his head down and picked up his pace, passing the clean buildings and roads. OT was a peaceful place, unlike their neighbor, who was in a multilateral war, but this peace was a false one. A sham. Khoth had heard rumors of a group of terrorists who stood up against the Master Operational Directors (or "mods" as they were known), the main law enforcement of GS324 after the mysterious dictator known as "Admin" invaded from another land. If these so-called "terrorists" fought against the cruelty of Admin and his mods, Khoth wanted to be part of that.

"No! Help!"

Khoth ducked behind an old dumpster in an alleyway and looked toward the noise. It was a young boy. Grabbing his arm were two men in uniform, with the letters "MOD" on each sleeve.

"How old are you, boy?" One mod had said.

"Th-thirteen, sir," the boy replied.

"Is that so?" The mod took out a strange tool and waved it over the boy's identifying armband, an electrical collar that was worn by all citizens of GS324 that contained their information: everything from date of birth to social status was on those mandatory armbands. Those without the armbands were from other countries, and were called "Lurkers" by the residents of GS324. Lurkers had no rights whatsoever, and rarely stayed in the city for long.

The strange device in the mod's hand beeped three times, then a light appeared, turning red. The mod took the boy in his hand and said "According to this, you're only eleven. Children are PR'd here, kid."

The kid's face turned white, and he began to scream, "NO! NOOO! NOT THAT!!"

But it was too late. As one of the mods held the poor kid still, the other mod took a stamp-like object from his utility belt and placed it on the back of the boy's right hand, holding it there. The kid began to scream in agony as steam rose from the object on his hand. Only three seconds had passed, but the horror of what Khoth was seeing made time feel stretched to infinity. The mod removed the object from the boy's hand, revealing a red mark that would remain there for the rest of his life. The mark consisted of two symbols and looked like this:

"B&."

If someone held that mark on their right hand, it meant that they had been PR'd (Permanently Removed) from GS324 and were forbidden to ever return. Most disappeared, never to be seen again, but some tried to return under new disguises and names, rarely to any avail.

The mods took the boy and put him in their vehicle, and sped off, presumably to dump him outside of city borders. When one was PR'd, he lost all rights to remain in GS324.

Khoth had witnessed PR's before. Too many; some of his good friends were PR'd. But never had he seen one done on kids, even though he knew that being under the age of thirteen was forbidden in GS324. He couldn't stop a PR, as the mods were just too powerful, and to try was a TR (Temporary Removal). All the more reason to find this resistance group and help them overthrow Admin.

"Psst."

Khoth snapped out of his thoughts and froze. Had he been seen? He slowly turned to see a person farther down the alley, signaling him to come closer. He wore a mask and gloves. What did he want with him?

Khoth slowly stepped closer, being cautious of the stranger. The man pulled down his mask and addressed Khoth:

"Are you 'K'?"

Khoth stopped. Was this the guy?

"Depends," he responded. "Who wants to know?"

"JG."

Khoth's breath caught in his chest. It had to be him: the guy he contacted from the group.

"Come with me," the guy said. He ducked behind a dumpster as Khoth followed, and he lifted up an old bag of garbage to reveal a trap door underneath. He opened the old door and began to climb down an underground ladder, signaling Khoth to follow.

Khoth hesitated, wondering if he was doing the sensible thing, and remembered the kid in the street who was PR'd not five minutes ago. Then Khoth remembered that the sensible thing is not always the right thing, and followed into the underground, closing the trapdoor behind him.

He was instantly met with a gun to his nose.

"All right," the man had said, "here are some ground rules before we go any further. You walk in front of me at all times. If you make any sudden movements, you're dead. If you try to run, you're dead. If you identify aloud anybody you see down here that you may recognize, you're dead. If you report to the mods, you'll wish you're dead. Finally, you may not leave without permission. Are we clear?"

Khoth, who was still stunned by the sudden facing of a gun barrel, simply nodded. He may have been a black belt, but he was caught by surprise.

"Good. Now get in front of me and follow my directions."

Khoth obeyed, and they began a long walk in the underground tunnel. It was long and very dark, and sometimes smelled of garbage and sewage. Every few minutes the man with the gun would say "turn left here" or "head down this ladder" in order to guide him through the long, winding labyrinth. No wonder the group was never found; nobody could navigate this maze. Finally they came to a large door.

"You just hold still," the stranger said, still pointing the gun at Khoth. He turned to a keypad set in the wall next to him, and typed in a long code at a very fast rate. Khoth had never seen someone type so fast. When he was done, there was a loud hiss noise, and the large, metal doors slowly opened.

What Khoth saw took his breath away.

It was like walking into an underground city. The space was massive, and there were even buildings! He looked up to try and see the roof, but it went so high that all he saw was blackness; he knew he went deep underground, but never expected this.

As Khoth and the stranger (who was no longer pointing the gun) walked through the massive tunnel, Khoth saw something he hadn't seen yet: people. There were men, women and children all throughout the tunnel, and they all gave Khoth a look of surprise. Some of the women grabbed their children and pulled them away from Khoth. Some of the men sneered.

Khoth also noticed cars. The tunnel area was more than large enough to hold small traffic.

"Don't worry, folks; just a new recruit wanna-be," the man said.

Finally, Khoth spoke up: "Where are you taking me? What is this?"

"You're about to find out," the man said. He gestured toward a large, round building at the center of the massive tunnel, and went inside. Like before, he had to type in a long string of code on a pad by the doors, but this time he also had to do a retinal scan and voice identifier. While he was doing these, Khoth noticed the many security cameras lining the building.

When the man got to the voice identifier, he spoke the word "Jandurin."

An electronic voice spoke: "Welcome, Jandurin."

So, Khoth thought, this guy's name is Jandurin.

Jandurin turned toward Khoth and motioned for him to enter.

Khoth walked into the large building, and the doors quickly closed shut behind him. He could make out three figures in the large room in front of him, all of them wearing the same masks as Jandurin.

One of them stepped forward and spoke.

"So," the stranger said, "you want to join our little group?"

Khoth hesitated, then swallowed and responded. "Yes."

"Why?"

Khoth was slightly taken aback by the question. He thought about it for a minute, but before he could answer, one of the two masked figures who hadn't yet spoke interrupted:

"Speak up, scrawny!" Khoth could tell by the voice that it was a woman. "Or you to tell me you have no reason to fight? What kind of mindless robot fights for no reason?!"

Khoth stood there, stunned at her directness. He stared at her for a full second, then responded.

"My reasons for fighting exist. That's all I'm inclined to tell a bunch of people who hide behind masks."

The woman stood shocked at his response. Then, without warning, jumped up and ran straight for Khoth, with the full intent of beating the mess out of him.

Unlike with Jandurin, Khoth wasn't caught off-guard. The woman jumped and kicked, but Khoth moved to the side and grabbed her leg in mid-air, spun her around and slammed her body against the rock floor.

Jandurin and the other unidentified man who hadn't yet spoke immediately had their guns trained on him.

"ENOUGH!"

Khoth flinched. Like profanity, shouting was illegal in GS324.

The man who spoke to Khoth ordered the others to put their weapons away. The woman stood up and walked off, still a little stunned from her beating.

"Khoth, I assure you, we mean you no harm. But the problem here is, we don't know if the feeling is mutual. Jandurin!" The man, who was obviously the leader of the group, suddenly shouted at Jandurin.

"Yes sir!" Jandurin said.

"Where the hell is—"

Suddenly the doors opened, and loud music filled the room. Khoth recognized the song being played. "Just Like Heaven," by The Cure. An unmasked man walked in the building, wearing headphones that blared music into his ears and the entire room. He had short, black hair, and his face was expressionless. He looked unblinking at Khoth and the rest of the people, and said "Sorry I'm late."

"LJ!" The leader exclaimed. "Where the hell have you been? And turn that **** off!"

Khoth was taken aback by the swearing. Profanity was expressly forbidden in GS324, punishable by demotion or even a TR.

"Yeah, sorry." LJ said. He looked at Khoth, and with the same expressionless face, said "hey. You the new guy?"

The leader walked toward Khoth and said "he has yet to decide that."

Khoth was confused. "Me? Decide?"

The leader looked at him and said "Of course. Who else will decide? But know that if you do, it's a lifetime commitment."

Khoth looked around him, at the leader, at Jandurin, the woman who attacked him, at LJ, and the guy who still had said nothing, and said "Yes. I want to be a part of what you stand for."

"Great! After the ass-kicking you gave Kikouken, I think we could use you." the man said. And as if on cue, the people in the room removed their masks. Jandurin had short, red hair and a five o'clock shadow on his face. Kikouken, the woman who attacked Khoth, was tan despite the complete lack of sunlight in this place, and had long, black hair with brown eyes. "I still say you're a scrawny kid." She was still fuming over her defeat.

The man hadn't spoke before removed his mask, and Khoth gasped. It was Ish, one of his friends, who was inexplicably PR'd months ago!

"Ish!"

Khoth ran to his old friend and hugged him tight. He saw the B& mark on his hand.

"What's up, Khoth?"

"Why didn't you contact me?"

"Too dangerous. You might have gotten caught with me."

Khoth was so happy to see his black hair and dark eyes again. Ish was straight, and he made that known to Khoth a long time ago, but Khoth never got over the crush he had on him.

Khoth then looked to the leader, who had dark red hair and brown eyes. On his right hand was the B& mark.

"I am Fami. I'm the commander here. We make up part of the command of the OT Resistance. Welcome to the family, Khoth."

To be continued. . . .

Tell me if you would like to be in part two. Also rate! :D

Theokhoth

That's awesome. The LJ character needs a little work though. Put me in it.. (I'd be eternally grateful)

9/10