How can Sega Screw up Project Needlemouse?

So we're all cautiously optimistic for Sega's new 2D Sonic game coming out in 2010 because it appears to be old school 2D game. What could possibly go wrong? Right?

Well as my profile says, it's my job to remind everyone that every new Sonic game that comes out will be awful and horribly depressing and make you start cutting yourself. You're welcome.

But let's play every Sega fan's favorite game HOW CAN SEGA F*&% THIS UP?" (loud gameshow music and flashing lights)

Welcome to "How Can Sega F*&% This Up?" I'm your host. Ok here's the rules. Ever since the Dreamcast died (today's the 10th anniversary of its fateful launch by the way.) Sega has managed to degrade into a third party hack and slowly waste away like Atari did now having to resort to making crappy lisenced games just to stay afloat. Oh sure, they'll publish something decent like Madworld now and then but even when it's good, it doesn't sell.

Let's look at past games Sega F$#%ed up.

How to F*^% up....

Samba D'Amigo: Impatiently pass on waiting for Wiimotion Plus and shove out a party game but make the higher difficulty songs impossible due to not tweaking the controls then blame Nintendo because it didn't work as well as your $80 Dreamcast peripheral.

Nights: Journey of Dreams: Originally make it for the 360/PS3 but change to the Wii at the last minute giving the devs only a year to revamp the game leaving the experience short and throw in some boring segments where you're forced to play as the kids.

Goldenaxe: Remove the co-op which was the best thing about the original. Ramp up the sex and gore and make a crummy God of War wannabe, then don't take time to polish anything

Sonic: Sorry it's only a half hour show folks.

So, is everyone ready to play? Great.

How could Sega F*&% up "Project Needlemouse?" Go!

Difficult one but maybe it could have pointless characters like Marine the Raccoon in it or if Sonic Team is making it.

Probably by making some horrible hybrid between "old and new" styles.  So maybe it's in 2d, but then they throw in Silver with a bunch of emo gimmicks or something.  I doubt that they'll just wholesomely say "Yeah, we've been screwing you guys over for years so we can make games for the masses, though now we've decided to screw them over and give priority to you guys!"

Let's face it, SEGA is going to try and appease both crowds at best.  They aren't just going to completely abandon their marketable.....market....

My 2 reasons:

1. It has more than the old trio and Robotnik.

2. If they even say a single word.

If this was truly remaking the old-school Sonic, they will NOT speak, there will NOT be story, and there will NOT be any additional characters.

By bringing along what is being commonly know as "his crappy friends" into this game and why not, just throw in a couple of new ones to the roster, God know there are plenty of fan made Sonic characters for Sega to just ape without remorse. Just more fuel for the fires of the insanity that has become the Sonic Fanfiction scene as of late. Also, more humans, yeah more humans were none should have been to begin with. Lets also add a convoluted storyline revolving around vampire hedgehogs, but the dreamy, sparkly Twilight kind, (you know to expand the appeal of Sonic to the female teenage crowd) yes let's turn Sonic into a Vampire in the night stages where he'll fly and will have to seek the impossible love of a new female cast member (again ape more fan made characters) to replenish health. This will represent 80% of the game. Also, make it 2.5 D, not real HD sprites and hand drawn backgrounds, who needs Muramasa style visuals when you can just use stock 3D models. Also add rpg elements, wearable upgrades that you have to buy on shops just to beat the bosses, plus lots and lots of voice acted dialog with branching speech trees. Skates, hoverboards, cars, jet packs, etc, you know, stuff Sonic would have to ride on, we can't have him run everywhere, can we? Also, it has been a while since a new Hedgehog has been introduced: Shadow and Silver are not enough, how about Sega makes a new one called Slime, yes, a green, gooey one with the power of booger to trap the enemies and farts to propel himself through the sky! GENIOUS! it would be a homage to Sega's Boogerman. and last but not least: Guns!! lots of GUNS!!! SciFiCat

I think we have a winner. :D

[QUOTE="SciFiCat"]By bringing along what is being commonly know as "his crappy friends" into this game and why not, just throw in a couple of new ones to the roster, God know there are plenty of fan made Sonic characters for Sega to just ape without remorse. Just more fuel for the fires of the insanity that has become the Sonic Fanfiction scene as of late. Also, more humans, yeah more humans were none should have been to begin with. Lets also add a convoluted storyline revolving around vampire hedgehogs, but the dreamy, sparkly Twilight kind, (you know to expand the appeal of Sonic to the female teenage crowd) yes let's turn Sonic into a Vampire in the night stages where he'll fly and will have to seek the impossible love of a new female cast member (again ape more fan made characters) to replenish health. This will represent 80% of the game. Also, make it 2.5 D, not real HD sprites and hand drawn backgrounds, who needs Muramasa style visuals when you can just use stock 3D models. Also add rpg elements, wearable upgrades that you have to buy on shops just to beat the bosses, plus lots and lots of voice acted dialog with branching speech trees. Skates, hoverboards, cars, jet packs, etc, you know, stuff Sonic would have to ride on, we can't have him run everywhere, can we? Also, it has been a while since a new Hedgehog has been introduced: Shadow and Silver are not enough, how about Sega makes a new one called Slime, yes, a green, gooey one with the power of booger to trap the enemies and farts to propel himself through the sky! GENIOUS! it would be a homage to Sega's Boogerman. and last but not least: Guns!! lots of GUNS!!! kbaily

I think we have a winner. :D

I'm still waiting for all the nooby, Sonic X loving tweeners to come in and complain about the game.

OMG Shadowz not in it. It will suk.

you just ply az sonic? that be boring.

whrz silver n elise. Sonic 06 was the best gm evr and criticz r biazed!

Ths gmae will suk.

Personally these fans need to drink some lead paint and retard themselves out of existence.

This could be the game to redeem my love for Sonic so stay away pointless characters and cut scenes. I just want old school Sonic.

Burn through loops, new badniks, battling Dr Robotnik at the end of every zone. Special stages and I guess if they wanted to add a 2 player mode like Sonic 2 or 3 that won't be a bad idea.

I'm not gonna play. I'm too busy at PROGPOWER!!

That and I'd rather worry about playing Muramasa and waiting for Sin & Punishment 2, Brutal Legend and Bayonetta 

I'm not gonna play. I'm too busy at PROGPOWER!!

That and I'd rather worry about playing Muramasa and waiting for Sin & Punishment 2, Brutal Legend and Bayonetta

whoozwah

Geez whoozwah, as much as you hate on anything that isn't SatAM or the original trililogy, I thought you'd be all about this game.

Maybe they could turn it into a more shallow version of Sonic Rush with worse dialogue and more faulty collision detection (I hope Sonic Team are not listening to this).

Also 80% of the game could be Werehog stages that play like the coin-op version of Altered Beast.

Have you all learned nothing over these last 5 or so years? It's Sega; you can't predict how they F--- up, you just have to sort of wait for it to happen. And yes, it always does.

This thing has the potential to become something worth being optimistic about, also.

Whoops. Hold that thought...

It's another collaborative effort from Nintendo and SEGA. I should've known...

EDIT: AND I see that Kbaily beat me to posting the pic in another thread. My punch got no juice?

I'm still waiting for all the nooby, Sonic X loving tweeners to come in and complain about the game.

OMG Shadowz not in it. It will suk.

you just ply az sonic? that be boring.

whrz silver n elise. Sonic 06 was the best gm evr and criticz r biazed!

Ths gmae will suk.

Personally these fans need to drink some lead paint and retard themselves out of existence.

kbaily

Kbaily, you do realize with Project Needlemouse looking halfway satisfying my optimism is back. And that means you have to try to kill it... again. :P

Well let's be cautious at this point as Riders pointed out, it's only a teaser trailer.

I remember back in 2005 when we saw this....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPDhu0Z1BXs

Remember how we thought this was going to be an awesome game and the successor to Sonic Adventure 2 and instead we got a poorly, coded buggy mess of broken gameplay, tedious elements and a creepy inter species relationship that only furries and idiot fans could love.

1-Show us an amazing trailer that bring hope back.

2-give a decent demo to download.

3- try to do the game fast for all the new gen consoles.

4-a intent of epic story failed.

5-Make characters like Marine playable (add also the fishing stages again).

6-add lots of glitches.

7-Buggy animations.

8-Saturn graphics.

9-Loosy controls and an awful camera.

10-Use the remixes of Sonic genesis for the GBA

11-add some kind of beat em up, (yep werehog again).

12-show us sonic past, do it like tragic and sad.

13- don't forget about the hedgehog human romance.

and thats it, an screwed up Sonic Needlemouse. However, I trust on this guy that created the rush series (thanks for so awesome games guy)

I just realized that maybe 2010 is maybe too soon for yet another Sonic game, the last one was released in March 2009. so again, presumably if this game is gonna be released in 2010, even if it is in during the holidays of that year that would mean probably that the title had about 18 to 20 months of development. That is a rough estimate but doesn't it sound like too little time to properly develop an HD 2D game? Remember, drawing 2D sprites is extremely time consuming. Remember how long it took for Capcom to release Street Fighter 2 Turbo HD Remix? So, again, shouldn't Sega just take their time with this one? 2011 would not be a better date, heck even 2012. Really make people want to see a proper Sonic title. Black Knight's failures are still to fresh on people's minds. Nintendo release Mario Galaxy on Nov, 2007 and while it has announced MG2, the final date is TBD. Isn't Sega jumping the gun announcing this game? Also, did anybody noticed that the SONIC TEAM logo was not present on the teaser unlike previous ones, does that mean Sega took the project of their hands completely due to the inability of that team to deliver a competent title in years?SciFiCat

I think SEGA should take their time, and SonicTeam is not working on it? wow, so it's their fault after all....

That kinda issue happens a lot with games, and it's very unfortunate. KotOR II would have been a phenominal sequel if Obsidian just had more time to develop it.  Of course, Sonic games don't have the luxury of extremely hardcore fan-modders (Team Gizka) to rebuild all of the removed elements from the game.  (I actually can't wait until the Telos Restoration Project is finished, just having a glimpse of what KotORII would have been like makes me excited).

Heh... "Ask not what your SEGA can fail for you, but what you can fail for your SEGA."

That's probably been the biggest problem with recent Sonic games is that the Sonic Team can't finish them properly. That was the biggest problem with Sonic 06 was simply the team was forced to shove it out in time for the holiday season and the PS3 launch even though many on that team flat out said they didn't have it finished nor did they have the proper staff needed for the multiplatform release but Sega forced them to just shove it out. Maybe if they had been given another six months to a year to work on it, it might have a least had a hell of a lot less glitches and load times though it wouldn't have made up for the awful story and too many playable friends.kbaily

Thats why SSBB is excellent, they asked for more time, at the end, it worth the wait. It's nonsense how you die on Sonic 06, Sonic is just running and from nowhere he just dies

That kinda issue happens a lot with games, and it's very unfortunate. KotOR II would have been a phenominal sequel if Obsidian just had more time to develop it. Of course, Sonic games don't have the luxury of extremely hardcore fan-modders (Team Gizka) to rebuild all of the removed elements from the game. (I actually can't wait until the Telos Restoration Project is finished, just having a glimpse of what KotORII would have been like makes me excited).

Heh... "Ask not what your SEGA can fail for you, but what you can fail for your SEGA."

ValtheJean

Your saying KOTOR 2 was bad? Bioware made the best Star Wars RPG ever, and I don't even like RPGs.

Fall onto the dreaded SONIC CYCLE:

dalejrgamer

Huh... new version.

Anyway, I won't be fooled again! Honestly!

Though it might be Sonic's triumphant return. :P

[QUOTE="dalejrgamer"]Fall onto the dreaded SONIC CYCLE:

Hyper_Hedgehog

Huh... new version.

Anyway, I won't be fooled again! Honestly!

Though it might be Sonic's triumphant return. :P

You've just been fooled!

Your saying KOTOR 2 was bad? Bioware made the best Star Wars RPG ever, and I don't even like RPGs.

Soniczero1993

Well, KotORII was actually made by Obsidian, the first one was by Bioware.  Though that's a common mistake, as I only found that out recently.  But no, don't get me wrong, I loved both KotOR's, it's just that the second one was just a good sequel, not a phenominal one.  The main problem was that LucasArts forced them to release early, which then resulted in them cutting out about 40% of the game (I know that sounds rediculous, but they cut out TONS).  The first one was a great game, with excellent structure.  The second one had a great adaptation, with all of the additional gameplay elements that fans wanted badly.  The only problem is that because they had to cut out a lot, the story became very confusing and unstructured.  The last portion of the game (Malachor V), is extremely confusing.  Of course, after watching some of the restored scenes from the Telos Restoration Project, that ending is now much more understandable.

You've just been fooled!

Soniczero1993

Don't be preposterous. I can never be fooled.

Again. :|

[QUOTE="Soniczero1993"]

You've just been fooled!

Hyper_Hedgehog

Don't be preposterous. I can never be fooled.

Again. :|

You just were though.

It sounds like a good game, but let's be honest. Beside it being 2D, it can be messed up so many ways.

Well let's be cautious at this point as Riders pointed out, it's only a teaser trailer.

I remember back in 2005 when we saw this....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPDhu0Z1BXs

Remember how we thought this was going to be an awesome game and the successor to Sonic Adventure 2 and instead we got a poorly, coded buggy mess of broken gameplay, tedious elements and a creepy inter species relationship that only furries and idiot fans could love.

kbaily

Yeah, I also remember that long, long time ago in a magical year called 2008 when we thought that this little leak was going to be part of a game that was going to turn around the entire series' run of bad luck:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2atOJMpqDYk

This is the third time in a row Sega has tried to "relaunch" the series and both times have been failures. The only difference between the 2 is that 2006 delivered a disaster, with attempt number 2 only being better because it showed some sort of effort regardless of how half-assed it actually was. I'll leave the rest of you to get excited or be "pessimistic" but I'm breaking the Sonic cycle right here. Just throw me Rush 3 and Chronicles 2 and I'm done.

[QUOTE="ValtheJean"]

That kinda issue happens a lot with games, and it's very unfortunate. KotOR II would have been a phenominal sequel if Obsidian just had more time to develop it. Of course, Sonic games don't have the luxury of extremely hardcore fan-modders (Team Gizka) to rebuild all of the removed elements from the game. (I actually can't wait until the Telos Restoration Project is finished, just having a glimpse of what KotORII would have been like makes me excited).

Heh... "Ask not what your SEGA can fail for you, but what you can fail for your SEGA."

Soniczero1993

Your saying KOTOR 2 was bad? Bioware made the best Star Wars RPG ever, and I don't even like RPGs.

KotOR 2 was developed by Obsidian, not Bioware. They've been known to release great games that are clearly unfinished, i.e. KotOR 2. It had a lot of potential that was squandered by the slow, dragged out opening, the inability to use a lightsaber for half of the game, the anti-climactic ending, and of course, the rampant glitches. It's not a terrible game but it clearly needed more work.

Well the only way I can think of is adding alot characters.Darkmoone1

And glitches. If they don't fix the glitches and camera and other tech issues, it can get in the way.

though it wouldn't have made up for the awful story and too many playable friends.kbaily

[QUOTE="kbaily"] though it wouldn't have made up for the awful story and too many playable friends.kjhg53

The were potential for an interesting story about time travel but it's all overshadowed by the vomit inducing love story between Sonic and Elise. I mean when people talk about the story of that game, it's all about Sonic and Elise. It's the shot of Baileys that overpowers the other flavors.

[QUOTE="kjhg53"][QUOTE="kbaily"] though it wouldn't have made up for the awful story and too many playable friends.kbaily

The were potential for an interesting story about time travel but it's all overshadowed by the vomit inducing love story between Sonic and Elise. I mean when people talk about the story of that game, it's all about Sonic and Elise. It's the shot of Baileys that overpowers the other flavors.

[QUOTE="kbaily"]

[QUOTE="kjhg53"][QUOTE="kbaily"] though it wouldn't have made up for the awful story and too many playable friends.kjhg53

The were potential for an interesting story about time travel but it's all overshadowed by the vomit inducing love story between Sonic and Elise. I mean when people talk about the story of that game, it's all about Sonic and Elise. It's the shot of Baileys that overpowers the other flavors.

"Don't cry, cause if you do the world's gonna asplode."

Yeah. Lame story was lame.

[QUOTE="kjhg53"][QUOTE="kbaily"]

[QUOTE="kjhg53"][QUOTE="kbaily"] though it wouldn't have made up for the awful story and too many playable friends.Hyper_Hedgehog

The were potential for an interesting story about time travel but it's all overshadowed by the vomit inducing love story between Sonic and Elise. I mean when people talk about the story of that game, it's all about Sonic and Elise. It's the shot of Baileys that overpowers the other flavors.

"Don't cry, cause if you do the world's gonna asplode."

Yeah. Lame story was lame.

That's what really made no sense to me. Elise can't cry because that will release Ibilis and destroy the world. She's a girl plus it was sealed in her when she was like 8 years old. The minute she learned her dad died she would've cried (they did that in one of the Sonic Shorts flash vids). That of all the things that could make her cry, it's Sonic, who she only knew for like 3 days, dying that finally makes her bawl her eyes out.

"I don't care what happens to the world!" B*$#@

Why did they have to make a shadow game? It sucks and there's barely any gore into it, so are we gonna have a game with creams with missles to people?

Why did they have to make a shadow game? It sucks and there's barely any gore into it, so are we gonna have a game with creams with missles to people?

Dgalmun

Are you just trying to be an idiot? Sonic games will never have gore in them. Go play Gears of War if you need to fill your blood and violence lust.

"DOOD! Sonic gamz wud be so freakin hardcorz if they had blood sex n gore!1! Sex and gore make all gamz bttr that why all M rated games r so frickin awesome. Mario would be so much cooler if he'd curse and shoot people with guns and there was blood and gore and explosions like Micheal Bay movies cuz they so osim cuz he blowz stuf up!!111!!"

Another reason I hate modern gamer culture. You have this "hardcore" jock boy, d-bag group that has a blood lust that makes them feel cool. Guess what? Playing games with violence and gore does not make you more macho. Nor does it impress anyone. You're in your house. You're playing with a toy. Get over yourself.

Now if you were purposely doing this to make a joke than fine but I've seen your other posts so I doubt it.

[QUOTE="Dgalmun"]

Another reason I hate modern gamer culture. You have this "hardcore" jock boy, d-bag group that has a blood lust that makes them feel cool. Guess what? Playing games with violence and gore does not make you more macho. Nor does it impress anyone. You're in your house. You're playing with a toy. Get over yourself.

Now if you were purposely doing this to make a joke than fine but I've seen your other posts so I doubt it.

kbaily

I can't agree more with you, I feel the same but with soccer games and some of the gore games. But I liked a lot God of War and Metal Gear Solid

As much as I love playing Grand Theft Auto, I'm sticking to racing games kthx.

Doesn't need blood, gore, and sex to satisify me.  Only OH AN ENORMOUS CRASH!  OH MY GOD, A TERRIBLE CRASH...

I just hope Sega doesn't screw it up. If we got a game like the ones from the Genesis days I'll be a happy camper.

[QUOTE="Dgalmun"]

Why did they have to make a shadow game? It sucks and there's barely any gore into it, so are we gonna have a game with creams with missles to people?

kbaily

Are you just trying to be an idiot? Sonic games will never have gore in them. Go play Gears of War if you need to fill your blood and violence lust.

"DOOD! Sonic gamz wud be so freakin hardcorz if they had blood sex n gore!1! Sex and gore make all gamz bttr that why all M rated games r so frickin awesome. Mario would be so much cooler if he'd curse and shoot people with guns and there was blood and gore and explosions like Micheal Bay movies cuz they so osim cuz he blowz stuf up!!111!!"

Another reason I hate modern gamer culture. You have this "hardcore" jock boy, d-bag group that has a blood lust that makes them feel cool. Guess what? Playing games with violence and gore does not make you more macho. Nor does it impress anyone. You're in your house. You're playing with a toy. Get over yourself.

Now if you were purposely doing this to make a joke than fine but I've seen your other posts so I doubt it.