Being online is more than just being within a game session. That's a mentality that I think we've all evolved past whether we want to admit it or not. But hey, if your ideal of online interaction is only in a game session, then more power to you. Have fun.
However, MS defines being online as staying connected to a larger community both in and out of a game proper. It begins when you boot up your console. That means checking message from friends, seeing who's online and what they're playing. It's partying up and sending game invites. In that respect, XBL has a more streamlined approach to it. Parties, game invites and party chat are available at the OS level. No need to worry about what game supports it. No need to fire up a separate app.
But also about providing a service by way of community staff. Again, MS comes out ahead with vocal and accessible folks from their policy enforcement team who are on the popular social networks and attend all the industry events.
I can only speak for myself here, but those are the differences I see that make an impact on me.
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