You encounter a bored GM

load game

load sector x

You wack in a new cartridge and hit load game.

You're in a small space ship that looks like a jet fighter. There are large chunks of debris floating around.

A pretty light show is passing by your windows, coming from behind.

Put on fitting music to go with the light show.

Start conducting the music and waving an air baton (like playing air guitar but... you get the idea).

play dubstep

You create a beautiful dubstep/classic mix that syncs perfectly with the fireworks of your ship(s) exploding.

Retry?

You're in a small space ship that looks like a jet fighter. There are large chunks of debris floating around and bolts of laser death passing by your windows, coming from behind.

Do a barrel roll.

You put your ship into a spin, a few lasers bounce off harmlessly. You get hare awareness points.

Your ship levels out, lasers are still on your tail. You're about to fly under a large piece of debris.

use the boost to get through

attack pursuers

Try a somersault!

use the brakes

DG holds down the fire button, and wonders why the lasers are not hitting any of the enemies behind you.

Abyssion pulls a loop, a couple of pursuers eat laser, but you are still in front.

DG goes for the brake, but for some silly reason it doesn't have enough energy to work.

lay mines

A large ship passes by, dropping a cloud of mines.

You are about to enter a minefield, and you're still getting shot at.

play minesweeper

Do a U-turn.

DG, you bring up the minefield on scanner, you are looking at an i x 9 grid. You regret not upgrading to the 3D model.

Abyssion, you can't switch to all-range-mode fast enough to avoid the field.

Shoot a mine to check it's explosive radius.

You laser a random mine and, well, if you had to dodge one explosion, you would probably set another off.

Oh, and random laser fire from your pursuers has dealt with a few of the mines.

The GM resists the urge to make new rules for minesweeper, as he doesn't want to go nuts deciding which of the possible variations to go with.

You fail to fly around the mines.

Your ship explodes, throwing you into space, where you immediately begin to choke.

equip spacesuit

You reach into your infinite pockets and quickly pull out a space...mine, boom, bits of you go floating off into the starset.

Retry?

You're in a small space ship that looks like a jet fighter. There are large chunks of debris floating around and bolts of laser death passing by your windows, coming from behind.

fire rear-facing missile

You push the big 'missile' button, a missile lights and races along the tube until it hits a dead-end and explodes, destroying your ship.

You really should load those things the right way round.

Retry?

You're in a small space ship that looks like a jet fighter. There are large chunks of debris floating around and bolts of laser death passing by your windows, coming from behind.

achieve victory

Your phone rings, you answer.

"Congratulations sir, you have won the nosuspicious lotto. alright? All you need to do is give us your credit card number, yes, and we will send you one, million, dollar, okay?"

Inspect source of death lasers coming from behind.

Check if the ship has any weapons.

transform fighter into battleship

You unfold your ship like so much origami, until it is 100 times the size.

The fighters behind you prove that they are capable of hitting the broad side of a barn, putting a mess of holes through your much thinner shields and hull. Well, at least they didn't hit the......whoops, nevermind. You watch as the ships crumbles.

Everything around you goes dark. The TV, the light, the clock.

restart

You flick restart on the console, nothing happens.

There's a knock at the front door.

equip shotgun

open door

Shotgun in hand, you open the front door carefully to find a strange looking creature. Back a bit is some sort of flying saucer.

"Skraak fshh ak fah." the creature points at you.

"Skraak fish on this!"

Blast creature's head off.

examine red laser

eat laser

remove alien head