Hurt/Heal

Rules: You can only post 2 actions per day! You can only hurt/kill twise in one day. This is the hard part cuz we live all over the world, but i will judge as farely as possible. Just be honest and post no more than twise in one day (actions) (regular posts dont count against you)."

So, here's the list :

WEI
Cao Cao
Cao Pi
Cao Ren
Cao Ang
Cao Bao
Cao Hong
Cao Shuang
Dian Wei
Pang De
Sima Yi
Sima Shi
Sima Zhao
Xiahou Dun
Xiahou Yuan
Xiahou Xuan
Xiahou Wei
Xiahou Shang
Xiahou Huo
Xu Chu
Zhang Liao
Zhen Ji
Zhang He

WU
Sun Jian
Sun Ce
Sun Quan
Sun Shang Xiang
Gan Ning
Huang Gai
Ling Tong
Lu Meng
Lu Xun
Taishi Ci
Xiao Qiao
Da Qiao
Zhou Tai
Zhou Yu
Huangfu Song
Ling Tong
Sun Luban
Sun Shao
Sun Shi
Sun Zhong
Sun Kuang
Sun Jiao

SHU
Liu Bei
Liu Feng
Liu Chan
Zhuge Liang
Guan Yu
Zhang Fei
Zhao Yun
Pang Tong
Ma Chao
Huang Zhong
Jiang Wei
Wei Yan
Xing Cai
Yue Ying
Guan Ping
Guan Suo
Guan Xing
Jinhuansanjie
Liu Biao
Liu Dai
Ma Dai

Dong Zhuo/Yellow Turban Alliance
Dong Zhuo
Lu Bu
Diao Chan
Meng Huo
Zhu Rong
Hua Man
Zhang Jiao
Zuo Ci
Bao Sanniang
Cai Zhong
Chen Biao
Gongsun Fan
Gongsun Gong
Gongsun Du
He Jin
Gongsun Yuan
Lü Kuang

Warriors are ressuected to life and a lot of them look at Lu Xun. They run at him and Zhang Liao accidently bumped into Zhang He.

Zhang Liao:Watch where you are going

Zhang He:I shall do so ut bueeeeetfully

ZHang Liao mutter:Queer

Zhang He angrily slashes Zhang Liao

Zhang HE has killed Zhang Liao

Meanwhile in this new ressuection Sun Ce is planning to dominate his father for the last time and Lu Kang acting smart says

Lu Kang:Confisuis once said "vengance is a foe not the foe so focus on vengance itself"!

Sun Ce:WHat did you jsust say about my mom! I'll kill you!

Lu Kang rolls his eyes sighs and gets hit in the chest by a tonfa

Sun Ce has killed Lu Kang

Sun Jian, in ninja attire, creeps up behing Xiao Qiao and snaps her neck. Saving many brave warriors from her wrath.

SUNJIAN KILLS XIAOQIAO

Da Qiao is doing som routine gardening when a gun barrel pokes her in the back of the head.

sunjian: "Goodnight princess."

*BOOOOOMM*

sunjian kills daqiao

Well, I wanted to add a kill-list, but GS won't let me. :P Too bad.

We're at a cliff. At the top of it, is Xiahou Dun, whereas on the bottom, Xiahou Yuan is tied up. As Yuan regains consciousness, Dun starts shouting down the cliff :

"Yuan! Your fat ass has disgraced our family long enough!"

"Dun? What are you doing?"

"I'm going to murder you!" *Evil laughter*

"You're mad, Brother Dun! You hear me? MAD!"

"Old news, chubby! I mean, c'mon. I ate my own eye. Does that sound sane to you?!"

"Well, err..."

"I've had enough of you, you fat bastard! To hell with you!"

And while Yuan was wondering if hell would have room for his humongous ass, Dun pushed an anvil down the cliff, crushing Yuan.

Xiahou Dun KILLED Xiahou Yuan

Sunjian and his henchmen are at a table in Club Obi-Wan having drinks with jiang wei. Sunjian holds up a small bottle with blue liquid, and starts laughing with his henchmen.

jiangwei: "whats so funny? What's that?"

sunjian: "antidote."

jiang wei: "to what?"

sunjian: "to the poison you just drank Mr. Jiang, Bwahahahaha!"

*Jiangwei starts to choke, his eyes grow dark and he falls dead to the floor*

sunjian KILLS jiangwei

Ling Tong is walking around unawares, suddenly sunjian leaps out from behind a corner and grabs lingtongs' pony tails. He ties them around his neck and chokes him on his own hair.

sunjian KILLS lingtong

Sun Ce looked down and Zhou Tai joined him

Zhou Tai:What's wrong

Sun Ce:My father is in a rampage

Zhou Tai:No DU

Sun Ce:.....

Zhou Tai:My lord something has happened a team has formed it is called The Hereos of the realm they include Lu Bu, Sun Quan, Ma Chao, Zhang He, Zhou Yun,and Zhang Jiao

Sun Ce:Holy *Bleep* what *Bleep* are we going to do

Zhou TaI:I propse we stop them i brought soem friends

*Cao Cao, Cao Pi, gan Ning, Cao Hong, and Lu Xun appear.

Sun ce:hey Cao Hong shouldnt be here!

Cao Hong;Why not

Sun Ce:Cause you dead

Sun Ce kicks Cao hong and he fals into a pit of lava

Sun Ce has killed Cao Hong

By the way that ^^^^^^ dont think i made it for everyone to do its just for my amusement

Zhang He and Ma Chao are speaking of the rebels

Ma Chao:Sunce will try to kill us we must help

*Zhang Fei walks in*

Zhang Fei:I think the rebels have a point im going to join them

Ma Chao:did you really think we were going to let you free when you saiy that

Zhang Fei:No i to want to fight :P

Zhang He:Dont you're beaitifuuuuuuuuuuuuul tounge at us

Ma Chao startes at Zhang He

Zhang He slashes Zhang Fei

Zhang He has killed Zhang Fei

*Zhao Yun enter club Obi-Wan and sits at Sun Jian's table*

Zhao Yun: I hear you have killed Master Jiang Wei.

Sun Jian: Oh I've killed more than him and It's only a matter of time until Shu falls and I rule the land.

Zhao Yun: For the honor of Shu I challenge you to a...... breakdancing contest.

Sun Jian: Bring it on. I've been breakdancing before it was cool.

*The contestants begin to breakdance. Zhao Yun does a bunch of flips and somersaults while Sun Jian does the robot*

Zhao Yun: Sorry old man but you can't beat me.

Sun Jian: I have one last trick up my sleeve.

*Tries to do a flip but fails and breaks his back*

Sun Jian: Oh come on thats the third time this week.

Zhao Yun: I guess I'll have to help you out.

*Picks up Sun Jian and throw him at the bar causing all the bottles to break and the glass to pierce his body.

Zhao Yun has hurt Sun Jian twice.

Zhou Tai:Sun Ce Lu BU is at the gate calling us little girls who suck our thumbs and watch "One tree hill".

Sun Ce:......

Zhou Tai:and that the Sun Family can go to hell

Sun Ce:Send Cao Cao to fight him we shall win against those rebels

*1 minute later

Zhou Tai:Sun Ce Cao Cao is dead

Cao Cao:Lu Bu youre life shall

*Lu BU stabs him with his halbred and he dies

Lu Bu has killed Cao Cao

Lu Xun has cornered Zhang He in a fortress. Zhang He hides behind it's high walls, until Lu Xun starts speaking with him, he then sticks his head over one of the walls.

Lu Xun : "Zhang He! Come and fight like a man!"

Zhang He : "Like a man? Hahahaha!"

Lu Xun : "What's so funny?"

Zhang He : "C'mon pretty boy. Everyone in the three kingdoms knows I'm not a man. How about you get up here, kiss me, and we make up?"

Lu Xun : "..." O___o

Zhang He : "Hurry!" ;)

Lu Xun : "What the ... Hmm..." >=)

Lu Xun goes into the fortress, to surprise of his men. He then kisses Zhang He, who starts making some spastic movements and falls off of one of the walls.

Lu Xun : "Ha-ha! Poisoned lip balm! Always does the trick when it comes to fending of gay people, now at your local drug store." :P

Lu Xun HURTS Zhang He

Lu Bu and Zhang He are speaking

Lu BU:I see you were kissing Lu Xun

Zhang He:Im gettign tired

Lu BU:Of beign gay :lol:

Zhang He:You know what I'm tired of this im ending these rumors by killing everyone Im out of the Hereos of Chaos and im killing you first

Zhang He viciously clwas Lu Bu up and feeding them to his dogs

zhang He hurt Lu Bu

Sun Jian crawls to live and Zhou Tai captures him

Sun Jian:Sun Ce you've got to help me Zhou Yun is here to kill me

Sun Ce:Ummmm dad are you sutpid ive been trying to kill you for a while

Sun Jian:oops

Sun Ce grabs his tonfa and kicks SUn Jian in the face

Sun Ce has killed Sun Jian

The Gongsun Family arrive at the place where they are to meet with Zhu Rong, the Fire Goddess.

Gongsun Fan: "So Zhu Rong, you issued to us a proposal to unite the clans huh?"

ZhuRong: "Yup, but there's just one thing..."

Gongsun Gong: "What's that?"

Zhu Rong: "It requires both of you to die!" 

*She presses a buttong ahnd disappears under a trap door*

Gongsun Fan: "What's that ticking sound?"

Gongsun Gong: "I dont know, but it sounds like a..."

*BBBOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!*

ZHURONG has KILLED Gongsun Fan and Gongsun Gong

WEI
Cao Ang
Cao Bao
Cao Shuang
Dian Wei
Pang De
Sima Shi
Sima Zhao
Xiahou Dun +1
Xiahou Xuan
Xiahou Wei
Xiahou Shang
Xiahou Huo
Xu Chu
Zhen Ji
Zhang He +2

WU
Sun Ce +3
Sun Quan
Sun Shang Xiang
Gan Ning
Huang Gai
Ling Tong
Lu Meng
Lu Xun +1
Taishi Ci
Zhou Tai
Zhou Yu
Huangfu Song
Sun Luban
Sun Shao
Sun Shi
Sun Zhong
Sun Kuang
Sun Jiao

SHU
Liu Bei
Liu Feng
Liu Chan
Zhuge Liang
Guan Yu
Zhao Yun +7
Pang Tong
Ma Chao
Huang Zhong
Wei Yan
Xing Cai
Yue Ying
Guan Ping
Guan Suo
Guan Xing
Jinhuansanjie
Liu Biao
Liu Dai
Ma Dai

Dong Zhuo/Yellow Turban Alliance
Dong Zhuo
Lu Bu
Diao Chan
Meng Huo
Zhu Rong +2
Hua Man
Zhang Jiao
Zuo Ci
Bao Sanniang
Cai Zhong
Chen Biao
Gongsun Du
He Jin
Gongsun Yuan

I wonder what Harden's gonna do now, since his Sun Jian got slaughtered.. :P

Zhang He runs into Lui Chan and Lui Chan asks what hes doing here

Zhang He:I am beutiiiiiifully going to end shu

Lui Chan:How?

Zhang He:Simple when i kill you Lui Bei will have no succesor so then in 3 years when he dies no one will be king

Lui Chan:Why dont you just kill him, then i will be emperor then kill me then that makes no one continue Shu instead of waiting 3 years?

Zhang He::?dont critize my bueeeeetiful plan

Zhang He stabs Lui Chan with his claws

Zhang He has killed Lui Chan

you're the worst husband ever you brute!

zhurong slaps meng huo, who falls over dead.

zhurong kills menghuo

SUn Ce walks up to Zhou Tai

Sun Ce:Zhou Tai Sima Shi is a threat to our small clan we need to wipe him out

Zhou Tai:I voulunteer to kill him

Sun Ce;You didint need to volunvteer i was going to order you

Zhou Tai:......um going

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zhou Tai:Sima Shi i shall kill ya

Sima Shi:Why?

zhou Tai:I dont know Sun Ce just said he was a threat

Sima Shi:Probably cause i slept with his sister :P

Zhou Tai honors the Sun family by throwing his sword at Sima Shi's chest

Zhou Tai has killed Sima Shi

Zhou Tai:Sun Ce, Zhang He is here to arrange a meeting

Sun Ce:Let that queer in

Zhang HE:He Sun

Sun Ce:What do you want

Zhang He:An allaince

Sun Ce:OK i shall help you

-------------

Zhao Yun:Zhang He what are you doing here?

Zhang He: Well i have claws with me and i have bodygaurds here and I just bribed to cops to not arrest me for the enxt cry so hmmmm what will i do?

Zhao Yun: Idk

Zhang He slashes Zhao Yun's chest

Zhang He has hurt Zhao Yun

Would you mind typing either Zhou Yu or Zhao Yun? They're two different persons and you're messing up their names. ;)

Sun Quan's sitting at his father's grave. He has got a few officers of Wu with him who wanted to pledge one last allegience to their former liege. Amonst them is Lu Xun.

Sun Quan : "Oh Father! I shall avenge your death! I shall murder Zhao Yun in order to restore the Sun family name! The Tiger of Jiang Dong will prevail! His cub will make sure of that!"

Lu Xun : "And all the men gathered here shall join you! But my lord. It was not Zhao Yun who struck down your father. It was his own kin, Sun Ce.

Sun Quan : "Sun Ce?! Who's that?! I'll violently murder his ass!"

Lu Xun : "That... would be your brother, dumba$$." ¬¬

Sun Quan : "My brother... my own flesh and blood... I can not kill Ce.. He might not have respect for his family but I still do and-- did you just call me a dumba$$?!"

Lu Xun : "You've got to stop being such a whiney little b¡tch."

Lu Xun **** Sun Quan to death.

Lu Xun KILLS Sun Quan

The others officers look at Lu Xun in awe.

Lu Xun : "OK guys! So much for our leader. On to Sun Ce!"

Sun Ce is busy reuniting the kingdom to notice Lu Xun's actions for he is fighting Lu Bu

Sun Ce:WIth my strenght of a tiger you shall fall

Lu Bu:Lion or cub :P

Sun Ce throws his spear at Lu Bu's chest

Sun Ce has killed Lu BU

Lu Xun is walking when he sees someone familiar

Lu Xun: Mj! Sean Paul you're back

Sean Paul;Orifgsk xastu

Lu Xun:You still cant :(

Micheal Jackson:Im here to warn you Zhou Tai sent Zhang He to kill you for Sun Ce is busy

Lu Xun:Where did you here this?

Micheal Jackson: The news

as epxcted Zhang He jumps on Lu Xun and stans his chest but luckily Lu Xun had some armour

Zhang He has hurt Lu XUn

Zhao Yun: I have no choice but to use this.
Zhang He: Not the musou rage token!
*Zhao Yun uses the token on himself. His aura of power is so strong that Zhang He is knocked back into a nearby building.*

Zhao Yun has hurt Zhang He.

Lu Xun : "OK, Zhang He! You asked for this!"

Unknown : "Ka...Me...Ha...Me..."

Zhang He : "Oh crap."

Unknown : "HAAA!!!"



Lu Xun : "BOOYA!"

Goku's Kamehameha wipes Zhang He's gay ass from the face of the Earth.

Lu Xun & Goku HURT Zhang He

why the hell are you all going for zhang He

Zhang He is dining with Guan Yu when all of the sudden Guan Yu takes out his spear

Zhang He:What are you doing?

guan Yu:Im going to kill you what else do you think

Zhang He:a sword dance?

Guan Yu:Of course not

Guan Yu charges at Zhang He and Zhang He moves out of the way and kicks Guan Yu into a wall

Zhang He has killed Guan Yu

Zhang He was waling down the street when something caught his eye

Zhang He:Oooohhhh a kit-kat bAr

As Zhang He grabs it so does Lu Xun

Lu Xun"Let go of the bar now!

Zhang He: I saw it and grabbed it first

Lu Xun:I ummmm was the first one to eat it

Zhang He:Congratulation now give it me

Zhang He then pulls it out of his hand and smacks Lu Xun with the bar

Zhang He has kileld Lu Xun

zhu rong stabs gonsun yuan in the head with a spoon, she diggs it deep into his head and scoops out some brain.

zhurong KILLS gongsunyuan

:)

Zhu Rong takes a dull rusty spoon and castrates Wei Yan

Zhu Rong has KILLED Wei Yan

Zhou Tai enters Sun Ce's headqyarters

Zhou Tai: Sun Ce Cao Ren has come and attacked our walls by slamming himself in them

Sun Ce; Omg he's huge! somebody stp him!

Zhou Tai:.... ummm sir theres only two ppl in this dynasty and thats us two

Sun Ce:Omg just go killhim

Zhou tai rushes out and throws water at cao Ren and he rusts

Zhou Tai then stabs him in the face

Xiahou Dun : "If I can't have two eyes, no one shall! Die pretty boy!"

Zhang He : *Sigh* "Whatevuurrrrr..."

Xiahou Dun stabs one of Zhang He's eyes out.

Xiahou Dun HURTS Zhang He

After cutting out Zhang He's eye, Xiahou Dun tries to replace his lost eye by this newly found eye. His attempts end in failure though.

Xiahou Dun : "Oh bullocks, this eye doesn't fit.. But if this one doesn't, then maybe that one will! Yiaaargh!"

Zhang He : "Nuuuu! Don't hurt me, please!" *whines like a little girl*

Xiahou Dun : "Die cry-baby!"

Xiahou Dun cuts out Zhang He's second eye, which seems to fit him! Xiahou Dun has regained his complete vision! Zhang He is blind!

Xiahou Dun HURTS Zhang He

Zhang He walked up to Sun Ce

Zhang He:Its been awfully boring can you give me an assignment

Sun Ce;Why not go and kill Lui Bei

Zhang He:Um why?

Sun Ce;We should jsust give end Shu

Zhang He:That wont work.... but ok

----------------------------------------------

Zhang He:Lui Bei i shall cut out that beard first!

Zhang He's claws misses and hits his face instead killing him

Zhang He has killed Lui Bie

Zhou Tai enters Sun Ce's room and says

Zhou Tai:Hey wanna hear something funny

Sun Ce:Yes i do

Zhou Tai:Zhang He could die

Sun Ce;Idiot he has an allaince with us

Zhou Tia:...... ill take care of it

--

Zhao Yun:Another has fallen to my spear...... in the Wii olympics!

Zhou Tai:You shall never play the wii again

Zhou Tai kicks Zhao yun in his left arm

Zhou Tai has hurt Zhoa Yun

Zhang He:I appreciate what you are doing for me

Sun Ce;Im not doign it for you im doing it for the allaince!

Zhang He: ......nice esxcues

Zhou Tai:MY lords Zhao Yun is at our gates

Zhang He:So?

Zhou Tai;:He wants to kill us?

Sun Luban:I'll volunteer to get him

------------------------------------

Zhao Yun:What are you doing here?

Sun Luban: Im here to kill you

*Zhao Yun is rofl and then when hes on the floor Sun Luban elbow drops him

Sun Luban has hurt Zhao Yun