Hurt/Heal

Zhou Yu walks up to Zhuge Liang and challenges him to a debate.

Zhou Yu kicks Zhuge's butt at the debate and Zhuge dies of embarrassment.

Zhou YU has killed Zhuge Liang

Zhang He and Sun Ce are speakign when they spot Zhao Yun outside

Zhang He: Wait......... Sun Ce Lu Xun wasnt our only enemy we totally forgot about Zhao Yun

Sun Ce: No you forgot about him i was just to busy relaxing

Zhang He: Well get him

Sun Ce yells at the window

Sun Ce;Zhao Yun get lost!

Zhao Yun: And what if i dont

*splat*

Sun Ce threw a plate of pie and the metal hits Zhao Yun

Sun Ce has hurt Zhao Yun

Sun Ce and Zhou Tai are speaking

Zhou Tai: Omg! Im getting owned and youre doing nothing about it!

Sun Ce: Do you seriously think he can kill you

Zhou Tai: Yes!

Suddenly a wii remote smashes thourgh the window and Zhao Yun pops up

Sun Ce:....... seriously Zhou Tai youre scared of someone with the wii!

Zhao Yun smashes the wii on Sun Ce's walls and they break

Sun Ce:O

Zhou Tai then takes of his helmet and hits Zhao YUn

Sun Ce: forget Zhou Yun lets get Xihou Dun we got 3 ppl including ma Chao :)

Zhang He: Ummmmm ma Chao is in atlantis

Sun Ce Dang it

Xihou Dun comes in and is about to atack when Sun Ce and Zhang He both slap him

Sun Ce has hurt Xihou Dun

Zhang He has hurt Xihou Dun

Sun Ce is chasing Xihoua Dun

Sun Ce: Be a man and accept that you may have 1 eye you Pu$$y

xihoua Dun: Well look whos talking!

Sun Ce catches Xihoua Dun and throws him on the ground

Sun Ce has hurt Xiahou Dun

Sun Ce then gets on top of him and punches him numerous of times

Sun Ce has hurt Xihou Dun

Xhioau dun is in a local resturant when he sees Sun Ce poisened his meat buns. Xihoua Dun has a plan to make Sun Ce eat those buns

When Sun Ce serves them Xihaou Dun grabs the meat bun and shoves it down SUn Ce's throat then Xihoau Dun leaughs and eats buns sun ce served for himself

Sun Ce: I knew you would do that so i switched them so thank you for making it easier getting poisened

Sun Ce has hurt Xihoau Dun

Sun Ce then finishes his meat buns and smashes the plate on Xihoua Dun's head

Sun Ce has hurt Xihoau Dun

Zhang He is trying out for the new game CHina discovered called "soccer" So Zhang He is about to make the team when it turns out Xihaou DUn did better than you.

Zhang He: Coach wtf!!!

CoaCh: Im sorry he did better you couldve made the team if only he was diasbled

ZHang He:hmmmmmm

Zhang He grabs the soccer ball and smashes it in Xihao Duns head

Zhang He has hurt Xihao Dun

Zhang He grabas his head and bangs it on the goal post

Zhang He has hurt Xhiaou Dun

Sun Ce is going to see how the soccer game is going when he sees Zhang He and Xihou Dun wrestling on the ground

Sun Ce: Ref what is going on

ref: Apperantly Zhang He started a fight and ZHang He dosent accept defeat

Sun Ce: Wait how can he get a red card if hes not on the team?

Ref: Well i said that Xhoua Dun became tempoarily disable he could join

Sun Ce: But look at him hes not

Ref:oops:

Sun Ce angered by this grabs a huge stick and smashes it on Xhiao Dun's face

Sun Ce has hurt Xhioa Dun

Xhiao Dun: My eye its popped out well have a loot

Xhiao Dun throws it at him and Sun Ce using the stick hits it causing it fly out of the field

(Thats how baseball was invented)

Xhiao Dun angrily goes for Sun Ce but Zhang He kicks him

Zhang He has hurt Xhiao Dun

Sun Ce, Zhang He, and Zhou Tai are having fun in the lake swimmign and all when Xhioau Dun coems and ruins all the fun

Xhiao Dun throws dust in all of there eyes so they cant see

Sun Ce: Ahhhhh youre making me mad first you make a war with us then you cheat in the new game we created by catcthing the ball when you shouldnt have its a homerun so oh well

Xhioau Dun: I never get defeated

Zhou Tai: Drinking contest

Zhang He: Weight lifting contest.

Xhioau Dun: .......

Sun Ce then says: Xihou

Xhiao Dun: Dun

Sun Ce: Ha! i heard where you are now i shall get you

Sun Ce grabs a rock from the lake and throws it at his head

Sun Ce has hurt Xhiao Dun

(Thats how marco polo was invented)

Xing Cai slaps Guan Ping for trying to kiss her.

XINGCAI hurts GUANPING

Sun Ce is speaking with Zhou Tai when Xihoau Dun kicks down his door with a sword

Sun Ce: that door is very expensive!!!!!!!!!!

Xhiaou Dun: Its just a door.....

Sun Ce: Its made out of gold!

Xhiaou Dun:........

Zhou Tai: Our lord wasted a lot of money on that!

Zhou Tai grabs Xihou Dun's head and slams it into the door.

Zhou Tai has hurt Xihou DUn

Sun Ce: Ouch thats got to hurt

Zhou Tai unscrews the doorknob and slams it into his eye making it fall out again

Zhou Tai has hurt Xhioau DUn

SUn Ce is getting pumped in this war now and is startign to feel relaxed

Zhang He: Sun Ce we gotta keep fighting!!!

Sun Ce: Whats that in youre pocket?

Sun Ce grabs a ticket and sees

Sun Ce: You're goign to a masage parlor

Zhang He:...... im holdign it for a friend

Xhiaou Dun then flys into the room and grabs the ticket

Zhang He angrily punches Xhiaou Dun in the face

Zhang He has hurt Xihoua Dun

Zhang He then throws him out the window

Zhang He has hurt Xihoua Dun

As ZHang He and Sun Ce see that the walls will keep on hurting them they knew they would die. Then an old lady says

Old lady: How dare you take my cloak you idiot

She unexpecatly lifts Xihoau Dun into the air and throws him inside the salon Zhang He and Sun Ce both beat him up take the key and escape the salon locking Xihao Dun in

Sun Ce has hurt Xihao Dun

Zhang He has hurt Xihoa Dun

Zhao Yun: With Xiahou Dun distracting Sun Ce now is my chance to kill the rest of his officers.
Taishi Ci and Lu Meng: You can't defeat the Little Conquerer!
Zhao Yun: Little Pain in the A** is more like it.
Lu Meng: I'll make you eat those words.
Zhao Yun: That's a good idea.
*Shoves a dictonary down Lu Meng's throat*
Taishi Ci: You're not gonna shove a dictionary down my throat are you?
Zhao Yun: No.... this tie ti'll be a thesaurus.
*Shoves a thesaurus down Taishi Ci's throat*
Zhao Yun has killed Lu Meng and Taishi Ci.

ZHang He: Sun Ce Zhao Yun is killing all Wu officers!!

SUn Ce: WHy should i give a Fu$$ its every man for himself tell that to him we focusing on Xihou DUn he made a mistake makign war with us

Zhang He: And that Ma Chao dude?

Sun Ce:We cant hes in the Nerthalands

Xhiao Dun then came in the room and Zhang He slapped Xihoau Dun

Zhang He has hurt Xihoau Dun

Then Zhang He pierced his skin with his claws

Zhang He has hurt Xihoau Dun

Zhao Yun: Time to kill the rest of the Sun Family.
Sun Shao: No please don't kill me.
Zhao Yun: Don't worry I'll make it quick and painless.
*Cuts off Sun Shao's arms*
Sun Shao: S*** you said it would be quick and painless!!
Zhao Yun: I never said for who it would be quick and painless.
*Zhao Yun has killed Sun Shao.

Zhang He: Sun Ce Zhao Yun has kileld youre sister

Sun Ce: Do you think i care when she married Lui Bei i didint care about her anymore. Zhou Yun is jsut playing with himself

Zhang He:......wtf?

SUn Ce: Not like....nvm

Xhiao Dun then comes with a peasant as a hostage and says

Xhiao Dun: You have 3 seconds to give me Wu or youre dead

Sun Ce: Not only dont i care about Wu but dude that peasant is one of youres.....

Xihao Dun lets go surprise and Sun Ce yells

Sun Ce:NOT!

Sun Ce punches him in the face

SUn Ce has hurt Xihoau DUn

Then Sun Ce grabs the peasant and slaps Xhiao Dun with the peasant

Sun Ce has hurt Xhiao DUn

Sun Ce punches Xihoau Dun

Sun Ce has hurt Xihoau Dun

Sun ce then kicks Xihoau dun

Sun Ce has hurt Xihoau Dun

Xihoau Dun is in alley feeling his time might end now and he begins to shiver so he covers himself up with a newspaper.

As Xihoau Dun sleeps Sun Ce lights the newspaper on fire and Xihoau Dun runs in pain

Sun Ce: I thought you wanted to be warm

Sun Ce has hurt Xihoau Dun

Zhang He then grabs Xhiao Dun and says

Zhang He: This is for calling me queer

and Zhang He kicks Xhiao Dun in the gut

Zhang He has hurt Xihoau Dun

Sun Ce dosent think does moments needs to be special and grabs a tonfa and kils Xihoau Dun

Sun Ce has killed Xihoau DUn

Zhang HE: Sun Ce Zhaou Yun has threathened to kill every one of youre familiy members!

Sun Ce: wow am i supposed to cares listen Zhang He he was annoying but we only ignored him because of Xihoua Dun but now that he's dead we can finally do what we've wanted to do somethign Ma Chao couldnt do :P

Zhang He: not funyn dude hes still in the Nerthelands

So Zhang He while Zhao Yun is sleeping punches him in the throat

Zhang He has hurt Zhao YUn

Hey guys my Christmas vacation is over so Ihave time to get on and I read this and I see Jeff still is in how do you say it dilemma so ill help with with Ma Chao!

MA Chao finnally comes back from the Nertherlands and sees Zhang He crying Ma Chao muttered queer and asked him whats wrong

Zhang HE:We cant attack Zhao Yun because there are too many distractions

Ma Chao Sighed knowing when this was true and yelled

MA Chao: If zhao Yun ever dies im going to kill both of you

Ma CHao grabs his spear and slashes Xing Cai

Ma Chao has hurt Xing Cai

Xing Cai then grabs her spear and they clash and 10 times no one got killed but then Ma Chao punched Xing Cai

Ma Chao has hurt Xing Cai

Thx Dong but i wont need youre help all the time ok :)

Zhang He is getting his claws sharpened when Xign Cai grabs them and says

Xing Cai: HAh I have a weapon sand you dont

ZhangHE: Does are plastic these are the real ones

Xing Cai looks shooked and Zhang He slashes her

Zhang He has hurt Xing Cai

Then ZHang He grabs her eye rips it ous

Zhang He has killed Xign Cai

I'm just popping by this hurt/heal thread for fun..

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With her husband Zhuge Liang dead, Yue Ying then spent her time developing and upgrading the advanced weapons that Shu had. But she had trouble finding a "test subject" that was not a Shu officier or else she may be killed for having "illegal weapons of mass destruction"...

Today however, she was in luck and rather fortunate to have her security systems detect and capture a sneaking Dong Zhuo who wanted to take her to his "paradise"...

Dong Zhuo: "Wait, I'll give you 1000000 gold! Just release me!"

Yue Ying: "No one enters the lab without permission and trespassers will be executed! Now stand still in your cell and this will be over soon!"

Dong Zhuo: "No! Wait! Noooo..."

A loud sound of air is heard and a visible powerful gust of wind was seen heading towards the helpless Dong Zhuo. He was ripped in 2 in mere seconds.

Yue Ying: "So my Sonic Emitter base defence from GDI labs works! This is a great technological upgrade from the air-blasts!"

Yue Ying has killed Dong Zhuo

Yue Ying: "Now I wonder how my other defence systems work?"

She presses some buttons to test out the auto defence systems against Wei bases and all the stones and rocks from the catapults were heading straight for Zhang He...

Zhang He: "It is not graceful to have large rocks blocking my view of the beautiful surr..." (gets hit by the rocks and stones)

Yue Ying has hurt Zhang He

Yue Ying: "Now I wonder how my other defence systems work?"

She presses some buttons to test out the auto defence systems against Wei bases and all the stones and rocks from the catapults were heading straight for Zhang He...

Zhang He: "It is not graceful to have large rocks blocking my view of the beautiful surr..." (gets hit by the rocks and stones)

Yue Ying has hurt Zhang He

MIB_1991

ma Chao punches Yue Ying in the face

Ma Chao has hurt Yue ying

THem Ma Chao seeing who took care of that bussiness went to fullfill his promise long ago to kill Zhao Yun

Ma Chao grabs his runiator and slashes Zhao Yun with it

Ma Chao has hurt Zhao Yun

Sun Ce is planning how to take over China when someone knocks on the door

Sun Ce: Come in

Huanfu Song walks in and says

HuanfuSong: I wish to replace Zhou Tai

Sun Ce: Why do you think youre suitable

Huanfu Song: Im in a book :D

Sun Ce: Youre hired!

Zhao Yun jumps threw the window and says hah never expected that!

Sun Ce: I did as you see its been broken so many time that i didnnt bother put glass

Zhaou Yun:....

Huanfu Song angrily kicks Zhaou Yun in the face

Huanfu Song has hurt Zhao Yun

Sun Ce then throws him out the window

Sun Ce has hurt Zhao Yun

" *sigh* I know its youre first time but if you come back Yeu Ying might not be alive."
Jeff, cut the new guy some slack, ok? This was not needed, even though he did attack your character, y'know? Just be nice to each other now, children. And c'mon everyone, use your imagination! The posts are getting to standard, in my opinion. Make 'em hilarious! Next up : the list!
Sir_Demii

ANd as you see demi i was jockign around cause in case you didint notice SHES STIL ALIVE!

Zhang He and Sun Ce are buying some chicken fried rice when they notice someone pickpocketed a stall.

Zhang He: Stop thief!

Zhao Yun: This is my stall and im not pickpocketing im puting it back to my box and call ti a day

Sun Ce: Well that seems fair ok carry on

Random Guy: Hey thta guy stole my values!

Zhang He trips Zhao Yun so he falls

Zhang He has hurt ZHao Yun

Zhao Yun then grabs a vase and tried to smash Zhang He's head with it but he misses and gets punched

Zhang He has hurt Zhao Yun