To start off, things are better with me and Daniel. We "talked" about what we felt and I say "talked" between quotation marks because he started the conversation by sms. I hate talking about serious things over the phone and especially sms, but it was better than things being the way they were. I told him that I thought he had more confidence with me, because anytime I had anything serious to say to him I would always talk face to face. Anyway, that was Friday night and Saturday me and my friends had a girls night out. Nothing like good company and a couple of coca colas to brighten up your spirit! Lol
Today, although school ended Friday, we had a "field trip" to the movies. We saw The Da Vinci Code. If it wasn't for my friends and the fact that they wouldn't stop throughing popcorn at each other and their "unusual" comments, I would have payed more attention to the movie. lol But from what I saw, it was very interresting. And, believe it or not, when I got home, I went to my living room and just stared at the "last supper" painting I had there! lol Is it just me, or is there and extra hand in the painting? :S If you look at the third disciple, you'll see a hand with a knife.. who's hand is that?!

Exams are right around the corner... Yes, I've already started studying... (If i didn't there would be a reason to worry :P ) It doesn't seem that complicated now that I've actually looked at the books. lol
Well I'm off to study some more.

Take care *

... empty. I feel lost. I feel lonely. I feel tired. I just want to fall asleep... at least there my dreams come true. At least there, I feel safe, secure, happy...loved.
Love... why does is have to be so darn complicated? Why can't people just say what they feel and not do and say things that make other people think things that aren't true?
I say this because I found out that Daniel actually doesn't feel the same way I do about him. He likes somebody else... And I found out because two of my friends told me... They say that he said that he doesn't have the courage to talk to me about it. Since Monday he's been avoiding me... He told them that he doesn't like me that way, but I don't understand... What about all of those hugs? The times we would tell each things we never told anybody else? The laughs, the private jokes, the teasing, the stories, the times we just would stare at each other, the time we held hands...? What about all of that? Did I misinterpret everything? Was he playing with my feelings? Oh, I feel so lost.
Should I cry and forget him? Should I pretend nothing ever happened? What happens if this affects our friendship? I know nobody can answer these questions except time but I have this feeling in my stomach... this "knot" I feel every time I see or think of him... now I know what people mean when they say love hurts.

Lets see what happens from here on. Until, one day... *

Well, it's official: I'm in love with Daniel. I could tell you the stories, details, words, gestures... but I really don't want to bore you. It's just that these past weeks have been out of this world. He's done and said things that made me think differently of him. When I'm around him I feel happier and right after we says our "see you tomorrow" I start missing him. Before I thought I was confusing friendship with love, but now I'm certain this is much more than friendship. I'm so sure he feels the same way. I'm to chicken to tell him what I feel, maybe, one of these days, he'll say something...Until then, I'll just enjoy this "colorful friendship".

I haven't talked about the gym in a while, huh? Well, ever since I started training with Daniel ( because he also goes to the same gym as me) I've enjoyed myself a whole lot more. I've lost some pounds and even gained some muscle :D

Let me just say that I have the best friends ever! These five people have brought me so much joy, a new light into my life... I love their personalities, the jokes, smiles, their perverse minds, even the way they talk! I couldn't ask for more.
C*D*M*J*T*V for ever :D

Now, for the "less good" news... After you read this you're probably gonna ask if my family is cursed, and well, even I start to wonder...
First, my uncle cut off his four fingers when he was cutting wood. Two weeks later, another uncle of mine had to have his appendice taken out. Last month my grandmother pasted away and last week my dad broke his foot at work. See what I mean? And this all has happened in the last two months!

And to end on a not so depressing as the last paragraph (but still pretty depressing) ... The day after my birthday, I'm gonna have my biology exam. Holy crap.. I don't know anything. I have to start cramming information from last year plus this year in a month. So, on the 30th of June, at 9.00 I'll be in a classroom, probably sweating my butt off and taking that exam. Oh, just thinking of it gives me a stomach ache.

Well fellow bloggers, I'm off. Take care *

These past weeks have been, to say at least, confusing. When I wrote my last blog entry, I was sure I was in love with Silva but now.. I can almost say I "detest" him. Allow me to start from the beginning:
Silva has always has some habits of... Well, I'll just say it, a fruit. Yes, he sometimes acts like he's gay. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against gay people, I really don't but this guy... I truly don't understand him. But still, I was "in love" with him.
Meanwhile, in my group of friends there's this guy. We get along great, we have tons of fun together, we tell each other our past "adventures" and so, I thought I was starting to feel something more than friendship with him. I started convincing myself that nothing was going to happen between me and Silva, which wasn't very hard because I knew I was grabbing on to an illusion. I knew he would never feel the way I felt about him... and al this because I truly believed that I was falling for (let's call him) Daniel. I even started daydreaming with him... So I started to "fall out of love" with Silva and got even closer to Daniel. This was a very confusing time for me: I was divided between "the pretty boy" I had put on a pedestal and the "is he more than a friend?" guy... I had never felt like that before.
Then, one day at lunch time, my "gang" decided to play True or Dare. Someone asked Daniel who he was in love with and everybody at the table looked at me... I thought I knew everything about this guy, but clearly I was wrong. He said he was divided between.. are you ready? I don't think so.. He said he was divided between FIVE girls. And I thought two were bad :roll: When he said that, I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. And at that moment, I realised I couldn't fall for someone that was that confused about what they felt. So, my feeling for him went from friend, boy with whom I supposedly was falling for, to friend again.
And recently I found out that Silva has some very "doubtful" attitudes in the showers :o lol and worse yet, I found out he liked (or likes) a very close friend of mine, which, to tell the truth, only helped me to forget him faster.

As long as I'm telling you guys my love life (or lack of it lol), I might as well tell you what's currently going on. I'll admit, I've taken an interest in a guy that usually plays basketball at the park near my house... :P But when (and if) I have something to tell, you'll be the first to know :)

Thanks for the attention. I really needed to get this off my chest *

Hi everybody. How have you all been doing? For whoever's curious, I'm doing fine. I got my braces about three weeks ago and from what everybody had told me about how much it was going to hurt; it actually didn't hurt at all! Good thing... Spring break finished today. At 1.30 restarts the torture with.. No more, no less than philosophy. Grades are better than last term but I feel I can do better. My biology exam is right around the corner and don't even want to think about it. I hardly picked up my books these vacations. Talking about my vacations.. wow! They were something! Last Tuesday me and three of my friends went to Oporto... by ourselves! What an adventure. To start, when I paid the bus driver, he said it was 3euros so I gave him 5euro note. Then, I put my hand out to receive the change and he gave me change as if I had given him 10euros... There, I knew that that trip was going to be great. If any of you are thinking of going to Oporto.. I want to advise you that the people there.. well, not the friendliest people you'll find. When we asked for directions, there where people that ignored us, ripped us off and miss led us! lol And in case you didn't know... there are like 2500 buses only in Oporto!! Just to get to the mall, we caught about 3 buses. We'd never seen anything like that. Then, when we finally got to the mall, it was practically empty so we have to place to ourselves. We ate lunch at 11.30 in the morning, then watch a movie and the rest os the afternoon was walking from store to store looking and touching everything and, well, annoying the shopkeepers. lol I've lost the "excitement" I had before going to the gym.. Lately, I've only been going because my mom is always nagging me. O well... Everything with Silva is going Ok. My class organised a basketball game last Thursday and he showed up and I must admit, I was more interested in watching him play, than the actual game and the funny thing is that I was on his team. lol I sure have missed him these last couple of weeks... But today I'm gonna see him all afternoon. hehe Well, I'm off. Gonna get lunch and walk 2,5 kilometres to school. lol See ya! Hugs and kisses for all :)

I can't believe it! They're finally starting to show Season 2 of Lost! When I found out, I starting screaming and jumping around like a loon! Lol And I'm not exaggerating... They started showing it Tuesday and now the day I most look forward to is.. well, Tuesday! lol School is going great. My grades could be better but at least I'm not one of those students that are always complaining about school. My biology exam is months away and already I'm nervous. I don't understand most of the stuff but still I have to do the stupid exam! Why do I have to do it, if I don't want to anything to do with biology in the future? These people.... :S The students of my city even protested against this kind of stuff a couple of weeks ago. Of course, I went along with them, but after a while we (myself and my classmates) realised we weren't going to get our way so we went playing pool. Lol! Some protest, right? :lol: I can't play pool even if my life depended on it! loOl But I have to admit, it was pretty fun. Silva went and everything... :P Speaking of Silva... things couldn't be better. When he turned 17, guess who was the first person to wish him a happy birthday? Yep... It was me! :P He got my message at mid-night and the next day when he saw me, he told me I was the first person :) We're still "eye flirting" but one of these days... :P I workout, I workout, I workout... and for what? For nothing! I haven't been losing weight, and if I am I still haven't noticed! Grrrrr.... But, I'm not going to give up! I refuse to do that. I just have to work a little harder... :) What have you all been up to? I sure have missed you guys :) Hugs and Kisses (: * * *

Wow! I've really been out for a long time. lol I guess I got a little tired of this site and only stopped by some blogs to know if everybody was Ok. Seeing as how I didn't wish anybody a Happy Thanksgiving, a Merry Christmas or a Happy New Year... I apologise for that. But I really do hope you all had very merry holidays :) Santa was very generous this year. Hehe.. I got a mp3, a new cell phone, a perfume that smells heavenly, some Pjs and clothes. Now, everywhere I go, I have to take my new toys :P The New Year was spent, since I've been here, at my grammas house. My family, my aunts, my uncles, my cousins and my grampas... When we're togther, nobody makes more noise than us! lol Our last minutes of 2005 were picking up pieces of glass from a cup that my little cousin through to the floor lol Seconds after mid-night, I received more kisses from my family than in a whole year loOL I kid, I kid... :P My grades? Well... I didn't get anything below 10. (The grades here are from 1-20) I could've done better and this term I promise I will :) These past few months I've made some new friends and I've been having lots os fun with them. I'm not as shy as I was before and it's helped me a lot. I've been going to the gym and I have lost weight, but lately I don't feel the same "excitement" about going to the gym like before. I still go, but I don’t feel like it. Last Thursday I tried out the sauna (I don't know if it's called that in English) and I must say... It's one heck of an experience. Goodness, it's so relaxing; I could stay there the whole day. All the stress I had, had gone away. I recommend it for whoever's stressed out. So, you must be thinking to yourselves (or not): Why hasn't she talked about Silva yet? Well, I'm gonna tell you. In December, things couldn't get any better. One of my friends was having a birthday and he invited my class (so Silva was also going). He told us to be at the restaurant at 7.30. My friend that was taking me is like the movie stars: always gets there an hour later. So, when we actually do get there (an hour later) I see everybody looking at us through the window. And, modesty to the side, I was gorgeous. I had gone to the salon, I had new clothes… the whole nine yards. I can honestly say it was one of the few times were I could look into the mirror and say: I look beautiful. :) Continuing... We enter the restaurant, I say happy birthday to my friend and guess who’s staring at me? Yep, it was him. Throughout the dinner we would exchange looks and I would pretend it was nothing :P Long story short: we flirted all night long and I even convinced him to buy me a drink :P And these last couple of months have been always like that... I even started going to his basketball games. The first time I went was December 18th. (The beginning of our Christmas vacation) I couldn't even imagine being away from him for two weeks! Then when school started again he told me that when he saw me at the game, that he dedicated a basket to me and I just melted :P Hehe But lately I feel he's different with me... I don't know how to explain it. So yesterday, I decided to go easy and 'ignore' him for a while just to see if he says or does something. No going to his games, no talking to him... everything. It was really hard deciding this, but I think it's best... :S Well, I guess your tired of reading.. lol So, more next time :) How have you guys been doing? Kisses * * *

I have to start off by saying that these last 2 weeks have been veeewy exciting. Of course, I'm talking about "Silva" :P loOL Like I promised, this blog entry is totally dedicated to (my) flirtation :P So, it all started two days after I got my contacts. Totally by coincidence(and it's normally not), I ate lunch right front of him. He turns to me and says that I look different and my friend that was sitting next to me said that I was with my contacts. He said that he knew but he was only kidding. A while after, he looks me in the eyes and says that I "look even more beautiful than before". I didn't know what to say and didn't even know if he was serious so the only thing I could do was smile :) Needless to say, only those 5 words (in Portuguese) made school worthwhile :D For the rest of that day we would run into each other and when the teacher didn't come he would spend the time with me and my friend. :) Then, if I'm not mistaken, next Monday: as always I'm the first person (from my class) that arrives at school and Silva usually comes after me. But that day was different: I got there first, then my friend then Silva. We went for a little walk around the school and my friend said that her hands were very cold and I had them very warm (because I never take them out of my pockets :P) So, I put my hands on hers and then Silva takes my hands and just holds them and says that they're very warm bla bla... and we were like that for a while :P Hehe... By the way, his hands are so soft (:P) loOL Then a couple of days later, in gym, the teacher made us play a game that is similar to "Tag" except when you caught somebody you had to hold his/her hand and go after another person and then hold there hand etc etc... So, we were playing and Silva got caught and then he caught me and a (girl) friend of his. As she was going to give him her hand, I turned to her and said that I didn't like being on the end so we switched. Summarizing: I told her that just to hold his hand :P loOL Am I smart or what?? :lol: And when we weren't doing anything like this, or I would look at him and he would catch me or he would look at me and I would catch him :P lol And before I go, I just have to say he has the most beautiful eyes on the planet Earth :D I feel peace when I look into his eyes... Understand?? loOL I know this hasn't exactly been the most comprehensible post... What can I say?? I just know I'm loving this feeling and the feeling I get when I see him first thing in the morning :) So, how have you all been doing?? :) * * *

First of all, I have to apologise to all my friends for not commenting on their blogs. I know it's the same old excuse, but it's true. School and homework are really starting to become more and more everyday. Now, for the better part :P (At least for me :P) Today I tried out my new contact lenses, and I must say they are phenomenal :D They don't bother me at all and look waaaay better than glasses. :) Then I went to the "torture room", that's the name I give the waxing part of the salon. Yes, I only did my eyebrows, but it still hurt! loOl I've said it once, but I'll say it again: why the heck do we women have to suffer so much to look good? :? But, everything works out and the pain is worth the outcome :) I've been going to the gym almost everyday and I'm starting to see results :D I'm really happy with that too :) You'll see, with this "new Jacky" on the way, If I'm lucky you'll see a picture of me and "Silva" here soon :P loOoL And how bout you guys? How have you all been doing? :) * * *

I didn't know what to post so here goes some more of my photography :)