Especially with Hogan's Heroes or M*A*S*H or another liek that, there will be times you want to go higher than G (or K like on fanfiction.net). If you do, don't torture your main characters more than is needed. There's no excuse for assaults and other things that aren't in the course of business for someone int hat situation. That means if you live int he inner city and see lots of crime, you stil *cannot* have it happening willy-nilly to *maain* characters unless it's a situationt hat would see it happen. Yes, you can write about the Gestapo getting Colonel Hogan. But *never* show a child as the victim if it's a main charactger. (For an excellent series about a child who is neglected some, but that doens't get too angsty, just enough to make it realistic, see the awesome "Sam Series" by RKORadio on www.fanfiction.net. It's worth all the reading from the first story on through if you like Full Hous or even if you've never watched FH. It's book universe so it's a little nicer, more in control girls.) Of course, you can have the mainc haracters affected by bad things if they aren't too bad - and get a little creative - just by taking things in the show sometimes. This is a story I wrote about a friend of D.J.'s who got pregnant - and you'll see that there's a lot of leeway, and you don't have to be graphic to have an effect: You know, we never get to see D.J.'s Sweet Sixteen party on the show. Given the date of Kathy Santoni's baby shower, though, it's quite possible she conceived around the time of D.J.'s sixteenth birthday. Which, combined with othter problems, would explain why Kathy was never heard from again, and could have really made it a... SWEET AND SOUR SIXTEEN Stephanie Tanner, fifteen, frowned as she set down the phone receiver. Michelle, her eleven-year-old sister, walked into the room they shared. "Hey, Steph, why the long face?" Michelle wanted to know. "Well, you know how my friends and I have this babysitting business?" Michelle nodded at the odd question - which when she was a toddler would have produced a "duh." She was glad to be broken of that habit now. "Of course. You've had it for a couple years," she declared. "I ve even helped you." Stephanie paused, considering the history behind the person she'd just been discussing with her friends. "Well, Michelle, we got a call from a woman who needs us. And, the other babysitters are busy." "I can do it if you can't," Michelle offered. She knew she was only allowed to assist yet. However, she knew it was worth a try. Stephanie almost was willing to let Michelle do it - the woman had sounded desperate, and it would be a good reference, outside their usual group of referrals. However, this was a single mother. And, Stephanie was a little unsure about the mother, or what or who might be around the home. "It's not that I don't have time. It's just that...well, D.J. kind of always warned me about the girl," Stephanie hedged. D.J. was their older sister, now twenty. "What about her?" "Do you remember the name Kathy Santoni?" Michelle shook her head. She seemed totally clueless. "It's okay, I understand. You may have never heard the actual name. But, D.J. says almost the last time she heard from her, four years ago, was at her baby shower. And...well, sit down. Let me tell you a story." She patted the bed beside her. Michelle eagerly sat beside her sister on Stephanie's bed. Michelle, who'd recently turned eleven, loved hearing stories about teenagers. And, from the way Stephanie was hesitating, this one might have things in it that their dad really didn't like for her to hear; which would be fun, as long as she was hearing it from one of her sisters. She would feel safe, then. "Tell away, Steph!" she ordered enthusiastically. "Well, you might remember the resulting talk. Anyway, it all started as D.J.'s Sweet Sixteen party neared." And, as Stephanie spoke, Michelle's mind drifted back to a time more than four and a half years before.... "Guess what, Deej," Kimmy Gibbler announced almost before she got into her best friend's kitchen door. Kimmy was a girl of sixteen with rather...unusual tastes. D.J. Tanner looked excitedly at her friend. She was in the kitchen with her younger sisters, eleven-year-old Stephanie and six-year-old Michelle, and their dad, Danny Tanner. "Boy, are we going to have a Sweet Sixteen blowout for you, Deej. I've got it all planned. In fact, I could tell you about some of what I'd like to rent, but seeing as your sisters are here, I don't think it's appropriate," Kimmy remarked. Danny looked up from checking his briefcase before going off to work with the girls' Aunt Becky. "No way, Kimmy. I know what that sounds like. And, no daughter of mine is going to have a Sweet Sixteen party with an ancient Roman theme." Michelle looked quizzically at Stephanie. "What does that mean?" "I think it means Kimmy wants to see lions chomping gladiators' heads off. Which still would give them more of a brain than she's got," Stephanie joked. She and Kimmy loved to tease each other. In fact, some of the other members of the Tanner household liked to tease Kimmy, too, considering that Kimmy was quite annoying, there all the time, and more than a little weird at times. Danny smiled at the comment. He thought Stephanie might understand what Kimmy meant, but he wasn't sure. He was glad she was keeping Michelle innocent, though. He was very protective, and wanted his girls to stay young and innocent for as long as he could. "Come on, Mr. T.," Kimmy pined. "I want to show my best friend a great time." "Look, Kimmy, I know you want to help your friend. But, I've got all the planning done already. Jesse and the Rippers will be performing," Danny explained. Jesse was Becky's husband. They lived with their twin toddlers in the Tanners' attic apartment. Jesse and Danny's best friend Joey had moved in six year ago to help when the girls' mother died. "Their grandparents are getting the twins overnight, while Becky takes the girls to a movie. Joey's going to be leaving early to perform comedy somewhere." "Gee, what a bummer. I know you all forgot mine, because it was D.J. and Steve's half year anniversary of knowing each other well. But, I wanted to show there's no hard feelings. Besides, this is a momentous occasion. Not only can you drive, but I think in Montana, you won't even need consent to marry," Kimmy declared. "And, we're just waiting for that special young cowboy to sweep you off your feet and take you away," Danny kidded her. As the younger girls smiled at the romantic thought, Kimmy grinned broadly at her friend. "Deej, you're right. Your dad really does care." "Oh, Dad, Aunt Becky told Allie she could come along to the movie. Can she spend the night when we get back?" Stephanie wanted to know. "D.J. will probably have a few friends over to sleep on the living room floor, from what she said." Danny looked at Stephanie for a moment as he pondered his answer. "Well, you would have to keep Michelle occupied, too." "We can do it, Dad." "Hmm, well, okay. You've been very good lately, and I think Michelle has been, too. I think she'll listen to you. I suppose I can let you have a little party upstairs, instead of sending you two off to Grandma and Grandpa's with Nicky and Alex," he responded. They hadn't seen their grandparents much in the last couple years, and weren't as close as D.J. had been to Jesse's parents. That evening, Becky and the girls returned from a movie and dinner at about six o'clock. After a few minutes, Becky approached Danny during a break in Jesse's band's performance. "Danny," she said as they stood near the punch bowl. "I just got the girls settled in with the TV from our apartment. They got a couple videos, lots of popcorn, and probably every one of their outfits scattered around the room for a fashion show. They have enough planned to stay up all night if they could." Danny laughed. "That's good. You did that just in time to tell them to come down so we can cut the cake," Danny told her. He turned to D.J. as Becky went back upstairs to the room Stephanie and Michelle shared. "See, Deej? Isn't this a lot better than some crazy festival with hormones running wild like Kimmy was thinking of?" "Come on, Dad, you know Kimmy's not like that. She talks a lot, but, she wouldn't really go wild like Kathy would," D.J. assured him after checking to make sure Kathy wasn't within earshot. "I know. I guess I get a little overprotective sometimes. But, this is a special moment. And, I guess I was just afraid that if you and these couple dozen friends wound up at Kimmy's - or, at someplace that Kimmy would think of renting - that it might just get obscured by something bad. And, I would never want that to happen to one of my precious girls." "Aw, thanks, Dad." She gave him a big hug. "Say, Steve was wondering if he could take me to the Giants' home opener in a couple weeks, too." "I don't know about the two of you together there. I know, it's just a baseball game. But, you have to huddle extra close, it gets so cold in Candlestick Park. Believe me, one of those early season games in 81 is how your mother and I conceived Stephanie," Danny revealed. He considered going on, but stopped as Stephanie, Allie, and Michelle raced over to them. Back in the present, Michelle turned to Stephanie. "Your Sweet Sixteen is in just two months," the eleven-year-old said. "Who's planning it?" "Anyone but Kimmy," Stephanie teased. "I remember this - didn't Steve come in singing to D.J. then? That was really neat," Michelle said with a smile. "You're right, Michelle, he did," Stephanie answered dreamily. "You see..." Suddenly, the band began playing lowly. The band played "Sixteen Candles," as the cake was brought out and set on a card table. However, more audible was the song as it came from D.J.'s boyfriend, Steve. "Sixteen candles," Steve crooned as he slowly made his way over to D.J., "on your cake tonight..." D.J. grinned broadly as Steve continued to sing. D.J.'s guests, along with Stephanie, Allie, and even Michelle, seemed enraptured by the beauty of the moment, as the candles were just about the only things lighting the otherwise darkened room. "You're only sixteen. But you're my teenage dream," came Steve rather melodious voice. D.J. and he were almost kissing as he finished the song. D.J. had to wipe away a tear as Steve ended with, "how I love you so." "Oh, Steve, that was beautiful. I never knew you could sing like that." "Of course not, usually I can't sing because I've got food in my mouth. Hey, girls," he said, turning to the younger ones, "if there's any popcorn left when you're done, save it for me." "Okay, you girls each get one piece of cake down here, then you go up and watch your movies," Danny instructed them. "Okay, Dad." Once they ate, Stephanie turned to Allie. Michelle had raced upstairs ahead of them. "Do you think we'll have time to watch our movie before we fall asleep if we let her pick first?" "Maybe. But, she'll interrupt our movie with all kinds of questions." Stephanie hummed. "True. But, remember, we're like moms for one night. We can enjoy being looked up to; and we can also make her go to bed if she won't behave," Stephanie quipped. Later that evening, Stephanie looked at her watch while the three girls were in their room. "Wow, I'm impressed, Michelle," she sat as the girls sat around the TV and VCR. "It's not even 8:15. That means you only stretched a ninety minute movie into two hours with all your questions. It used to be you'd stretch it to at least two and a half hours, sometimes three." "They grow up so fast," came the quiet, contemplative Allie. "Hey, where'd my panda go?" Michelle asked, looking around hastily. Allie raised her eyebrows and chuckled. "Boy, talk about breaking the mood." "Come on, Michelle, don't worry about him. We've got time to play a game of Candyland before the next video," Stephanie said, hoping that Michelle would fall asleep during that game so they wouldn't have to watch The Little Mermaid with her. "I'm looking for Peaches. Oh," Michelle said suddenly. "He's in the recording studio." "What's he doing there?" Stephanie asked incredulously. Michelle gave her a "duh" look, though she wouldn't dare say that anymore. Stephanie would give her the same harsh look D.J. would if she said that to her; and maybe a lecture, too, knowing her. "He's recording a song." Stephanie chuckled, then decided to take Michelle downstairs. Maybe they could catch a glimpse of the party as it got really good now. "Okay, I'll take you down to get it. Allie, set up the game board." Meanwhile, D.J. was dancing to a fast tune with Steve. About twenty other high school-aged kids were there. Jesse and his band were performing against the back wall by the staircase. Danny and Becky were up in Danny's room discussing the following week's TV shows for their show, "Wake Up, San Francisco." "Hey, Deej, have you seen Kathy and the guy she brought?" D.J. suddenly looked up. "No, Kimmy, have you?" "No. He's about twenty, it looked like. I guess they drove off somewhere." "Yeah, maybe," D.J. said. She knew she'd been right in inviting Kathy - she had been a good friend in grade school, and still a friend in Junior High. But, Kathy had gotten way too boy crazy since early in Junior High. So, it figured she wouldn't stay long. Suddenly, she spied Stephanie and Michelle out of the corner of her eye. "What are you two doing here?" "Is anyone in the recording studio? The record' light's on," Stephanie explained.. Michelle rolled her eyes. "I told you, Peaches is down there." D.J. walked tiredly over to her younger sisters. "Look, I told you I didn't want you down here. Now, think a minute. Joey's gone. Jesse's playing up here. Who would be using it?" Michelle looked at Stephanie. "Does she think Peaches turned the light on?" "Well, he probably did. Now, go down there, get your bear, and get back upstairs," D.J. said firmly. "Hey, that rhymed," Michelle said as Stephanie ushered her back into the kitchen. Back in the present, Michelle said, "I bet something's going to happen soon." Stephanie looked at her sister and snickered. She squeezed her lightly and said, "You know, you interrupt my stories now just like you did the movies we'd watch back then." "Yeah, it's fun. But, how did the light come on?" "Well, see, someone didn't want to be disturbed. But, boy, were things about to become very disturbed," Stephanie declared as she went back into her tale. Stephanie and Michelle gazed at the light above the basement studio. Jesse and Joey used the light to show that nobody was to come down there. "Are you sure you didn't leave it on, Michelle?" Stephanie asked. "Positive," Michelle declared emphatically. Stephanie shrugged. She really didn't believe Michelle. And, with Michelle being only six, her leaving the light on without thinking would be the best excuse. After all, she didn't want Michelle to keep complaining upstairs that she didn't have her bear. But, D.J. didn't think anyone was down there. So, it was safest to just use the excuse that she thought Michelle left it on, if someone was downstairs. Stephanie and Michelle took a few steps downstairs. Then, both mouths flew open. Stephanie quickly clasped her right hand over Michelle's eyes as they struggled to find something to say.

Especially with Hogan's Heroes or M*A*S*H or another liek that, there will be times you want to go higher than G (or K like on fanfiction.net). If you do, don't torture your main characters more than is needed. There's no excuse for assaults and other things that aren't in the course of business for someone int hat situation. That means if you live int he inner city and see lots of crime, you stil *cannot* have it happening willy-nilly to *maain* characters unless it's a situationt hat would see it happen. Yes, you can write about the Gestapo getting Colonel Hogan. But *never* show a child as the victim if it's a main charactger. (For an excellent series about a child who is neglected some, but that doens't get too angsty, just enough to make it realistic, see the awesome "Sam Series" by RKORadio on www.fanfiction.net. It's worth all the reading from the first story on through if you like Full Hous or even if you've never watched FH. It's book universe so it's a little nicer, more in control girls.) Of course, you can have the mainc haracters affected by bad things if they aren't too bad - and get a little creative - just by taking things in the show sometimes. This is a story I wrote about a friend of D.J.'s who got pregnant - and you'll see that there's a lot of leeway, and you don't have to be graphic to have an effect: You know, we never get to see D.J.'s Sweet Sixteen party on the show. Given the date of Kathy Santoni's baby shower, though, it's quite possible she conceived around the time of D.J.'s sixteenth birthday. Which, combined with othter problems, would explain why Kathy was never heard from again, and could have really made it a... SWEET AND SOUR SIXTEEN Stephanie Tanner, fifteen, frowned as she set down the phone receiver. Michelle, her eleven-year-old sister, walked into the room they shared. "Hey, Steph, why the long face?" Michelle wanted to know. "Well, you know how my friends and I have this babysitting business?" Michelle nodded at the odd question - which when she was a toddler would have produced a "duh." She was glad to be broken of that habit now. "Of course. You've had it for a couple years," she declared. "I ve even helped you." Stephanie paused, considering the history behind the person she'd just been discussing with her friends. "Well, Michelle, we got a call from a woman who needs us. And, the other babysitters are busy." "I can do it if you can't," Michelle offered. She knew she was only allowed to assist yet. However, she knew it was worth a try. Stephanie almost was willing to let Michelle do it - the woman had sounded desperate, and it would be a good reference, outside their usual group of referrals. However, this was a single mother. And, Stephanie was a little unsure about the mother, or what or who might be around the home. "It's not that I don't have time. It's just that...well, D.J. kind of always warned me about the girl," Stephanie hedged. D.J. was their older sister, now twenty. "What about her?" "Do you remember the name Kathy Santoni?" Michelle shook her head. She seemed totally clueless. "It's okay, I understand. You may have never heard the actual name. But, D.J. says almost the last time she heard from her, four years ago, was at her baby shower. And...well, sit down. Let me tell you a story." She patted the bed beside her. Michelle eagerly sat beside her sister on Stephanie's bed. Michelle, who'd recently turned eleven, loved hearing stories about teenagers. And, from the way Stephanie was hesitating, this one might have things in it that their dad really didn't like for her to hear; which would be fun, as long as she was hearing it from one of her sisters. She would feel safe, then. "Tell away, Steph!" she ordered enthusiastically. "Well, you might remember the resulting talk. Anyway, it all started as D.J.'s Sweet Sixteen party neared." And, as Stephanie spoke, Michelle's mind drifted back to a time more than four and a half years before.... "Guess what, Deej," Kimmy Gibbler announced almost before she got into her best friend's kitchen door. Kimmy was a girl of sixteen with rather...unusual tastes. D.J. Tanner looked excitedly at her friend. She was in the kitchen with her younger sisters, eleven-year-old Stephanie and six-year-old Michelle, and their dad, Danny Tanner. "Boy, are we going to have a Sweet Sixteen blowout for you, Deej. I've got it all planned. In fact, I could tell you about some of what I'd like to rent, but seeing as your sisters are here, I don't think it's appropriate," Kimmy remarked. Danny looked up from checking his briefcase before going off to work with the girls' Aunt Becky. "No way, Kimmy. I know what that sounds like. And, no daughter of mine is going to have a Sweet Sixteen party with an ancient Roman theme." Michelle looked quizzically at Stephanie. "What does that mean?" "I think it means Kimmy wants to see lions chomping gladiators' heads off. Which still would give them more of a brain than she's got," Stephanie joked. She and Kimmy loved to tease each other. In fact, some of the other members of the Tanner household liked to tease Kimmy, too, considering that Kimmy was quite annoying, there all the time, and more than a little weird at times. Danny smiled at the comment. He thought Stephanie might understand what Kimmy meant, but he wasn't sure. He was glad she was keeping Michelle innocent, though. He was very protective, and wanted his girls to stay young and innocent for as long as he could. "Come on, Mr. T.," Kimmy pined. "I want to show my best friend a great time." "Look, Kimmy, I know you want to help your friend. But, I've got all the planning done already. Jesse and the Rippers will be performing," Danny explained. Jesse was Becky's husband. They lived with their twin toddlers in the Tanners' attic apartment. Jesse and Danny's best friend Joey had moved in six year ago to help when the girls' mother died. "Their grandparents are getting the twins overnight, while Becky takes the girls to a movie. Joey's going to be leaving early to perform comedy somewhere." "Gee, what a bummer. I know you all forgot mine, because it was D.J. and Steve's half year anniversary of knowing each other well. But, I wanted to show there's no hard feelings. Besides, this is a momentous occasion. Not only can you drive, but I think in Montana, you won't even need consent to marry," Kimmy declared. "And, we're just waiting for that special young cowboy to sweep you off your feet and take you away," Danny kidded her. As the younger girls smiled at the romantic thought, Kimmy grinned broadly at her friend. "Deej, you're right. Your dad really does care." "Oh, Dad, Aunt Becky told Allie she could come along to the movie. Can she spend the night when we get back?" Stephanie wanted to know. "D.J. will probably have a few friends over to sleep on the living room floor, from what she said." Danny looked at Stephanie for a moment as he pondered his answer. "Well, you would have to keep Michelle occupied, too." "We can do it, Dad." "Hmm, well, okay. You've been very good lately, and I think Michelle has been, too. I think she'll listen to you. I suppose I can let you have a little party upstairs, instead of sending you two off to Grandma and Grandpa's with Nicky and Alex," he responded. They hadn't seen their grandparents much in the last couple years, and weren't as close as D.J. had been to Jesse's parents. That evening, Becky and the girls returned from a movie and dinner at about six o'clock. After a few minutes, Becky approached Danny during a break in Jesse's band's performance. "Danny," she said as they stood near the punch bowl. "I just got the girls settled in with the TV from our apartment. They got a couple videos, lots of popcorn, and probably every one of their outfits scattered around the room for a fashion show. They have enough planned to stay up all night if they could." Danny laughed. "That's good. You did that just in time to tell them to come down so we can cut the cake," Danny told her. He turned to D.J. as Becky went back upstairs to the room Stephanie and Michelle shared. "See, Deej? Isn't this a lot better than some crazy festival with hormones running wild like Kimmy was thinking of?" "Come on, Dad, you know Kimmy's not like that. She talks a lot, but, she wouldn't really go wild like Kathy would," D.J. assured him after checking to make sure Kathy wasn't within earshot. "I know. I guess I get a little overprotective sometimes. But, this is a special moment. And, I guess I was just afraid that if you and these couple dozen friends wound up at Kimmy's - or, at someplace that Kimmy would think of renting - that it might just get obscured by something bad. And, I would never want that to happen to one of my precious girls." "Aw, thanks, Dad." She gave him a big hug. "Say, Steve was wondering if he could take me to the Giants' home opener in a couple weeks, too." "I don't know about the two of you together there. I know, it's just a baseball game. But, you have to huddle extra close, it gets so cold in Candlestick Park. Believe me, one of those early season games in 81 is how your mother and I conceived Stephanie," Danny revealed. He considered going on, but stopped as Stephanie, Allie, and Michelle raced over to them. Back in the present, Michelle turned to Stephanie. "Your Sweet Sixteen is in just two months," the eleven-year-old said. "Who's planning it?" "Anyone but Kimmy," Stephanie teased. "I remember this - didn't Steve come in singing to D.J. then? That was really neat," Michelle said with a smile. "You're right, Michelle, he did," Stephanie answered dreamily. "You see..." Suddenly, the band began playing lowly. The band played "Sixteen Candles," as the cake was brought out and set on a card table. However, more audible was the song as it came from D.J.'s boyfriend, Steve. "Sixteen candles," Steve crooned as he slowly made his way over to D.J., "on your cake tonight..." D.J. grinned broadly as Steve continued to sing. D.J.'s guests, along with Stephanie, Allie, and even Michelle, seemed enraptured by the beauty of the moment, as the candles were just about the only things lighting the otherwise darkened room. "You're only sixteen. But you're my teenage dream," came Steve rather melodious voice. D.J. and he were almost kissing as he finished the song. D.J. had to wipe away a tear as Steve ended with, "how I love you so." "Oh, Steve, that was beautiful. I never knew you could sing like that." "Of course not, usually I can't sing because I've got food in my mouth. Hey, girls," he said, turning to the younger ones, "if there's any popcorn left when you're done, save it for me." "Okay, you girls each get one piece of cake down here, then you go up and watch your movies," Danny instructed them. "Okay, Dad." Once they ate, Stephanie turned to Allie. Michelle had raced upstairs ahead of them. "Do you think we'll have time to watch our movie before we fall asleep if we let her pick first?" "Maybe. But, she'll interrupt our movie with all kinds of questions." Stephanie hummed. "True. But, remember, we're like moms for one night. We can enjoy being looked up to; and we can also make her go to bed if she won't behave," Stephanie quipped. Later that evening, Stephanie looked at her watch while the three girls were in their room. "Wow, I'm impressed, Michelle," she sat as the girls sat around the TV and VCR. "It's not even 8:15. That means you only stretched a ninety minute movie into two hours with all your questions. It used to be you'd stretch it to at least two and a half hours, sometimes three." "They grow up so fast," came the quiet, contemplative Allie. "Hey, where'd my panda go?" Michelle asked, looking around hastily. Allie raised her eyebrows and chuckled. "Boy, talk about breaking the mood." "Come on, Michelle, don't worry about him. We've got time to play a game of Candyland before the next video," Stephanie said, hoping that Michelle would fall asleep during that game so they wouldn't have to watch The Little Mermaid with her. "I'm looking for Peaches. Oh," Michelle said suddenly. "He's in the recording studio." "What's he doing there?" Stephanie asked incredulously. Michelle gave her a "duh" look, though she wouldn't dare say that anymore. Stephanie would give her the same harsh look D.J. would if she said that to her; and maybe a lecture, too, knowing her. "He's recording a song." Stephanie chuckled, then decided to take Michelle downstairs. Maybe they could catch a glimpse of the party as it got really good now. "Okay, I'll take you down to get it. Allie, set up the game board." Meanwhile, D.J. was dancing to a fast tune with Steve. About twenty other high school-aged kids were there. Jesse and his band were performing against the back wall by the staircase. Danny and Becky were up in Danny's room discussing the following week's TV shows for their show, "Wake Up, San Francisco." "Hey, Deej, have you seen Kathy and the guy she brought?" D.J. suddenly looked up. "No, Kimmy, have you?" "No. He's about twenty, it looked like. I guess they drove off somewhere." "Yeah, maybe," D.J. said. She knew she'd been right in inviting Kathy - she had been a good friend in grade school, and still a friend in Junior High. But, Kathy had gotten way too boy crazy since early in Junior High. So, it figured she wouldn't stay long. Suddenly, she spied Stephanie and Michelle out of the corner of her eye. "What are you two doing here?" "Is anyone in the recording studio? The record' light's on," Stephanie explained.. Michelle rolled her eyes. "I told you, Peaches is down there." D.J. walked tiredly over to her younger sisters. "Look, I told you I didn't want you down here. Now, think a minute. Joey's gone. Jesse's playing up here. Who would be using it?" Michelle looked at Stephanie. "Does she think Peaches turned the light on?" "Well, he probably did. Now, go down there, get your bear, and get back upstairs," D.J. said firmly. "Hey, that rhymed," Michelle said as Stephanie ushered her back into the kitchen. Back in the present, Michelle said, "I bet something's going to happen soon." Stephanie looked at her sister and snickered. She squeezed her lightly and said, "You know, you interrupt my stories now just like you did the movies we'd watch back then." "Yeah, it's fun. But, how did the light come on?" "Well, see, someone didn't want to be disturbed. But, boy, were things about to become very disturbed," Stephanie declared as she went back into her tale. Stephanie and Michelle gazed at the light above the basement studio. Jesse and Joey used the light to show that nobody was to come down there. "Are you sure you didn't leave it on, Michelle?" Stephanie asked. "Positive," Michelle declared emphatically. Stephanie shrugged. She really didn't believe Michelle. And, with Michelle being only six, her leaving the light on without thinking would be the best excuse. After all, she didn't want Michelle to keep complaining upstairs that she didn't have her bear. But, D.J. didn't think anyone was down there. So, it was safest to just use the excuse that she thought Michelle left it on, if someone was downstairs. Stephanie and Michelle took a few steps downstairs. Then, both mouths flew open. Stephanie quickly clasped her right hand over Michelle's eyes as they struggled to find something to say.

This could almost be labled "TV as it should be." Full House was one of few shows that tried to write little ones as kids. And, they did a pretty good ob of it. However, there are - if they're not careful - often little inconsistencies people have in what they say and do. Here is one that's not explained how they handle it, but that ties in to a couple 4th season FUll House episodes: In response to a short story challenge on a group - write the shortest story (not script) you can. I had time for a little, and this is a little, but something that likely happens, and explains how they might have explained an little inconsistency. (Let’s see people go after this kind of thing in their stories.) BOYS ARE NUTS Joey Gladstone, professional comedian, sat at the Sizzler, enjoying lunch with the family he lived with and loved. He was helping his best friend, Danny Tanner, raise his three daughters, D.J., 14, Stephanie, 9, and Michelle, almost 4. He was also enjoying the look he expected to come any second from Danny’s brother-in-law, Jesse, who also lived in the Tanner household. “Ow,” he said as Jesse playfully hit him in the head. He gave a slight glare at Jesse, but only to avoid laughing. “Look at this, I tried to shake salt on my potatoes, and he loosened the top, now look how much came out,” Jesse complained to the table. “Boy, Jess, if you eat all that salt you’ll be a real pillar in the community,” Joey joked, thinking of the story of Lot’s wife that Stephanie had repeated from her Sunday School class earlier that day. “A pillar in…give me a break,” Jesse complained as Joey explained what that was. As Jesse complained about Joey’s practical jokes, Michelle considered what Jesse had done. Not only didn’t it look very nice, but Michelle had gotten timeout for pinching a classmate in preschool recently. Jesse had told her hitting or pinching was wrong, and that he’d been a “jerk” for saying it was okay to pinch back, or fight like he had when younger. “Are you being a jerk, Uncle Jesse?” she asked innocently. “What, who, me? Of course not, why…” He suddenly saw her looking at Joey. “Why, Joey and I are best buddies, right, pal?” He looked at Joey, then looked desperately at Danny for help. Danny passed him a look that said, “This is your mess, you get out of it.” Joey smiled. “That’s right, pal. And best pals can do things like this to each other,” Joey said, taking some of the salt that was left and shaking it into Jesse’s normally perfect hair. Seeing that Joey was starting to enjoy tormenting Jesse a bit too much, and that Jesse might get him back - he’d remember it very fondly when the two would battle over Joey’s flounder tart invention years later - Danny held up his hands. “Look, I think it’s time we call a truce and concentrate on the girls. Let’s have them all tell a little something fun they learned this morning.” Though she was distracted for a while, Michelle kept thinking about what Jesse had done. She didn’t like thinking of him as bad. He was so sweet and loving. So, she figured maybe it was okay. She just didn’t like the thought of someone getting hurt, now that she knew it was bad. Later that afternoon, she was playing with a few of her dolls. As Danny smiled upon walking into her bedroom, he noticed she had one smack the other on the head. “Ow,” came the voice of the hit doll. “Come on, now hit back, let’s play.” “Ow.” “Honey…what are you doing?” Danny took the dolls from her. “We should play nice with our toys.” “I am. They’re best friends like Uncle Jesse and Joey.’ “I see. You know, your Uncle Jesse doesn’t always have great judgment.” “I don’t know what that is. But I know it’s not hair. He says he always has great hair.” “Well, that’s true. But, well,…boys are made different than girls.” “I know. We sit down to go potty.” Danny blushed; he didn’t like to think of his girls growing up, and certainly didn’t like them focusing on things like that. “What I mean is, look, there’s your Uncle Jesse coming up to his room now, let’s go talk to him.” He and Michelle walked into Jesse’s room. Jesse had quickly grabbed some song sheets and left. “Hey, guys, the Rippers and I are gonna be practicing for a little while, if you need me I’ll be over at the Smash Club,” he said as he walked downstairs, with them following. “Jess, we need to talk first. Michelle was playing and her dolls were hitting each other.” “Yeah, so?” “Jess, I don’t want my little girl thinking it’s okay to hit; now, we talked about this before.” Michelle could tell her dad was upset. “Is he being a jerk or isn’t he?” Jesse sat and cuddled Michelle on his lap. “Look, pal, it ain’t cool to be doin’ it to everyone. It’s just…Well, I just like goofin’ around like on the playground. But he doesn't mind it, so it's cool. If he did mind I wouldn’t do it.” “Oh, that’s a great lesson, Jess,“ Danny said sarcastically. “Some poor kid comes along and is too shy to speak up, she could just do whatever she wanted when playing with her.” Joey overheard as he was walking in from the kitchen. “Look, Michelle,” he tried to explain. “Remember when you were watching the Three Stooges with Jesse? It’s an act we do. We’re just playing around. He’s not really hitting me, and it doesn’t really hurt.” Jesse looked at Joey. “It doesn’t?” Realizing he needed to agree, Jesse suddenly added, “Yeah, he’s right, Michelle, it doesn’t. So, you shouldn’t have your dolls doin’ that either, because…” He looked at Joey again as Danny shook his head. “Because…they’re not in the Screen Actors’ Guild,” Joey finished. Michelle didn’t know what Joey was talking about. She simply shook her head and said, “You guys are nuts.” “Well, we're not nuts, Munchkin, it's just...well, okay, maybe we are a little nuts. But, trust me, when you get to be about 10 or so, you'll start to like boys.” Michelle smiled. “Good. Now I can enjoy myself.” D.J. and Stephanie had been looking through old photo albums by the fireplace, reminiscing about Pam. She decided now was a good time to intervene. “Let me try to add to what they said,” D.J. said as she went over to the couch and sat beside Jesse. “Michelle, boys sometimes get a little too rough. But, that doesn’t make it right. If I were in charge, the Three Stooges would be getting sent to their rooms a lot.” “Even if they’re in the scream actors quilt?” Everyone snickered at how Michelle misheard “screen actors’ guild” and replaced the words she didn’t know with ones she did. “Right. But, since I’m not in charge I can’t send them to their room, and neither can Dad. So, they need to learn on their own.” Michelle tapped her chin. “Okay. But, why does that quilt make them do dumb things?” “Well, munchkin,” Jesse said with a sigh, “I guess it’s because of what I said earlier. I’m not a jerk anymore. But, I guess I’m still a little rougher than what I should be. But, Joey doesn’t…” He stopped himself, realizing he’d never asked Joey. He decided this would be a good time to do it, so Michelle learned. “Do you mind, Joey?” “No. You don’t do it a lot. And, to tell you the truth, I would have loved a brother to roughhouse and do crazy things with growing up. Maybe your Uncle Jesse and I are kinda like the Two Stooges, Michelle.” “Okay. But when I grow up, I’m not marrying a Stooge. And I’m staying away from that actor’s quilt.”

In an average sitcom, what percent of the peoples' lives do you think we see? Surely we don't see them paying necessary bills, getting homework assignments or work duties, completing every single one, getting paid, etc.. We dont' see them buying groceries, or just hanging out having fun doing nothing because nothing interesting is happening thaat day. So, what would you have guessed we see? 30%? 20%? Whatever it was, you probably figured my headline was nuts. You might have guessed 5% but surely not aa fraction of 1% Butthat's what it is. Take 8766 hours in a yeaar. Figure 1/3 of thaat, approxiately, is sleepng. I'll even give you the hours of showers, bathing, driving to work or school, and so on each year. So, we can be down to a nice, round 5000 hours. Take a show with 24 episodes. That's 12 hours for 24 30 minute episode, or 12/5000. That makes 24/10,000, or 0.24 out of 100. A quarter of 1%, or a touch ess. But wait, you say, some episodes take place over days or weeks. Exactly - so you take an episode and figure 30 minutes over 2 days is covered. That's many hours eaach day that we don't see what the characters are doing, and many hours plus 15-20 minutes each day that we don't see what each is doing in days where the episode doesn't cover! You may wonder, do we know these characters at all then? Well, yes, the amount we see is enough to pick up their general characteristics very well, actually. It shows us their general modds, how they react to numerous different things - which gives us a clue how they'd react to other things - and often clues us in as to their relationships, though not with all their friends - only with the type of friends they'd have. We learn how smart or dumb they likely are, and also a little about their family, dreams, goals, etc.. But, we don't know everything. Some things, we need to judge on the basis of the traits we do see. Others we need to judge ont he basis of what we know about people - i.e.: students not shown to have homework on a sitcom will have homework assignments, and we can presume the types of grades to some extent. People have friends - soemtimes we see many of those friends ("Cheers," "Friends") that the person interacts with, sometimes we don't (People in numerous family sitcoms.)

There will be times you just can't do a whole story. Or maybe you prefer scripts because you can fit them more into actual episodes. Two thoughts. First, fanfiction.net does *not* allow scripts. Some people miss that for some reason. Second, try to keep it consistent with the characters as you can, though you are allowed some leeway. The girls at least know about prayer in Full House, Danny prayed "Lord..." at the first Thanksgiving episode, sand Jesse had his cross necklace, so there'd be the hint f them being typical Christmas and Easter Christians. However, don't go overboard - here, I had a friend invite Michelle to this camp int he beginning, as we don't know much about her friend Lisa. (Another hint - minor characters can be used to great advantage if it doesn't violate canon.) This is how I'd have started a 9th season JOEY’S NEW FLAME Joey meets a new flame while entertaining at a birthday party for Michelle’s friend. Danny needs to meet the family of a boy Steph met a couple months before - and Stephanie worries he’ll embarrass himself. (Teaser - Michelle, Stephanie, Danny, and Caleb, Danny is picking Stephanie and Michelle up from camp) Michelle: Dad, I'm so excited. I just met Someone wonderful! Danny: Michelle, eight is too young for a boyfriend. Caleb (extending a hand): Mr. Tanner, I presume? I'm Caleb Wilson. I had the awesome privilege of leading Michelle to Christ. That's what she's excited about. Stephanie (bouncing): Oh, yeah, Dad, this is Caleb! Aside from one thing, he's the most wonderful boy you could ever meet! Caleb: Mr. Tanner, I hope you would allow me the privilege of courting Stephanie. Stephanie: Like I say, there's the problem of his being oldfashioned. Danny: Oldfashioned? This is a boy after my own heart. I can get to know him for fifteen years before I know if he's safe for you to see. -------------------------------- (Michelle and D.J. are out shopping) Michelle (picking up a large, remote controlled car): I bet Justin will love this. D.J.: Well, I’m sure he will, but...(looks at the price tag) You know, if he saves just a couple more dollars, he can drive one just like it when he’s sixteen. Michelle (putting it down, picks up game): How’s this? D.J.: Well, he has a two-year-old sister. How is she on not swallowing tiny pieces? Michelle: She’s really good...as long as you keep them out of her mouth. D.J.: How about a book? Michelle: Okay. He likes baseball. Maybe a Matt Christopher book. Teddy likes him. D.J.: Okay, sounds good. Let’s meet Joey and go to the bookstore. Michelle: We don’t have to meet him, we already know him. (D.J. shakes her head, they leave) (Michelle and D.J. meet Joey in the center of the mall) D.J.: We’re going to the book store for Justin’s party. Joey: Great. I just bought this. (Holds up a bag) Michelle: Why did you buy a bag? Joey: It’s what’s in the bag. A brand new mate for Mr. Woodchurck. I’m unveiling her at Stephanie’s pajama party tonight. Michelle: Great. She’ll need the laughs tonight. (She turns to D.J.): You know that boy Steph met at the camp when we went, Caleb? Dad’s been insisting on going to meet his parents. And taking Stephanie with him. (Early afternoon, Stephanie is in the living room with Danny) Stephanie: Now, Dad; whatever you do, don’t go in there and start cleaning. Danny: I told you, I’m not cleaning their living room. (He pauses) Medicine cabinet okay? (Stephanie gives him a look). Danny: Women do it...or so I’m told. Stephanie: Kimmy might do it. Danny: Good point. No medicine cabinet. (He frets a little, then speaks): Look, honey, I know you think I’m overprotective, but... (Jesse enters the door with a big bag) Jesse: Becky and the boys back from the park? D+S: Not yet. Jesse: Great. I got a big surprise for ‘em. Becky’s been bugging me about getting something more homey, more Nebraska in our living room. So I had just the thing made. (He runs upstairs) Stephanie: What could that be? Danny: With your uncle Jesse, I have no clue. Let’s go. (They leave, Stephanie has sour look on her face) (Joey and Michelle are in the living room, Joey has on Batman pajamas) Joey: Okay, let me start my routine, just a minute...(He ruffles around in bag) Michelle (getting up from couch): Joey, why are you wearing Batman pajamas? Even I didn’t do anything that crazy recovering from my concussion. Of course, the way Steph watched over me, I coudln’t have if I’d wanted to. Joey: Well, she was really scared. So, she acted more protective. Besides, better her than your dad sticking to you like glue, especially at camp, right? (Michelle nods.) You were most comfortable with her, anyway, thanks to that first day of Kindergarten in among all those strangers, even before you got your memory back. As for Batman, it’s a pajama party, and I want to look the part. Michelle: Joey, these girls don’t like Batman. You’ll be lucky if they like any cartoons. Joey: Well, I figured Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pajamas were out. But, Stephanie dressed as Batman for Hallowwen. Michelle: When she was seven. Joey:.(Phone rings, he picks it up): Hello, Tanner residence. What? Oh, hello, Miss Phillips. Yes, Michelle’s here, but we thought the party wasn’t till...oh, I see. Yes, we’ll be right over. (He hung up the phone.) Come on, we need to get to Justin’s party. They’re starting early. Michelle: You’re taking me in that? Joey: No, we’re taking the car. Their entertainment cancelled. So, they wondered if I could come. (Joey and Michelle are leaving, Becky and the twins come in) Alex: Mommy, can Joey go out in pajamas? Becky: Yes, and only he could get away with it. Jesse (coming down steps): Beck, listen. I thought about what you said, and I got us the perfect thing for our living room upstairs. Nicky: What did you get, Daddy? Jesse: Come up and see. (Jesse, Becky, and the twins are in the attic apartment, Jesse pulls a tarp from a four foot tall thing) Jesse: Ta-da! (He unveils a statue of Elvis decked out all in University of Nebraska red. He has a white jacket, but even it had red sequins galore. His shirt and pants are red, as are his shoes.) Jesse: I give you Nebraska Elvis. (Becky stifles giggles, it gets harder and harder to do this as Jesse talks.) Jesse: I realized you’re right, Becky. Nothing’s as good as Nebraska. And in fact, if Elvis had gone to college, he surely would have been a Cornhusker. And listen to this. Statue plays after he presses a button: Don’t you step on my red suede shoes. You can do anything, but stay off of my red suede shoes... (Jesse presses the stop button on the remote) Jesse: What do you think? Nicky: Isn’t that blue suede shoes? Jesse (bending down to the twins’ level): Yeah, but you see, red’s Nebraska’s team color. And your Mommy thinks Nebraska’s so cool, if he’d gone there, he would have changed it to red. (He rises, holds Becky): Aint’t that right? Becky: Oh, Jess...you’re so comically sweet. Jesse: Hey, I may be sweet, but I am not comically sweet. That’s Joey’s job. Becky: (Looks strangely at the statue): Uh...well... Jesse: So, doesn’t it look great? Becky: I don’t know...I was thinking a cow planter or something might be better. (Danny and Stephanie and with Caleb Wilson and his parents in their home, they are going to sit in the living room) Danny: I’ve heard many nice things about you. Mr. Wilson: You, too. We watch your show quite often, before I go into work. Danny: Wonderful. Tell me, did you think the speckled carpet looked better, or do you like the new design? Stephanie: Dad. Danny: Sorry. (Back to the Wilsons) So, where do you work? Mr. Wilson: I work high up in a church. Danny: Oh, are you a minister? Mr. Wilson: No, I clean the steeple. Caleb: Stephanie says Mr. Tanner used to be a sportscaster. Danny: That’s right. I still remember that interview with the man who came up with that catchy ad campaign for the Giants. Candlestick Park used to be so cold, they sold it to the fans as a great Northern adventure, had people dressed in parkas and everything. (Stephanie looks annoyed) I remember taking Pam to one of those games, you really did have to keep each other warm (He looks at Stephanie, who is more annoyed) And I better not say more because I don’t want to give them any ideas. Stephanie: Dad! I’m only thirteen, and he’s almost fifteen. Danny: Just making sure. Mr. Wilson: When did you and your late wife marry? You look quite young. Danny: Right after the senior prom. We’d been going together since we started high school. (He notices Stephanie’s look) What? Stephanie: Nothing. It’s just that right now, almost anything you say would be embarrassing. Danny: Like my saying I hope you don’t marry till you’re 30? Stephanie: That’s right up near the top, yeah. Danny: How about praising you on your “True Love Waits” pledge, then rambling about how we didn’t need to sign a card to know we’d wait. Stephanie: The first part’s not bad, the second part is. Danny: Honey, how can I carry on a meaningful conversation, then? Stephanie: Maybe by letting Caleb talk? He’s just sitting there. Danny: Good idea. (He turns to Caleb): So, I hear you guys said you really like each other. (Stephanie says “Dad!” while Caleb blushes at the same time) (Joey and Michelle show up at the Phillips’ house) Angie Phillips (Opening door): Michelle, come on in. Justin and Wendy are in back, and they’re pretty sad. Their parents aren’t going to make it here today. (Michelle runs back to see the kids. Another boy, Ryan, comes to the door, sees Joey. Angie looks strangely at Joey, who is wearing his Batman pajamas) Joey: I'm Joey Gladstone. I came as fast as I could. I was practicing a routine for a pajama party. Angie: Uh... Ryan: Yep, that's Joey all right. Do your Popeye voice. Joey (laughs like Popeye, then talks like him): I know I looks kinda silly here, Olive, but I yams what I yams. Now let me see your little Swee' Peas. Angie (inviting him in): Actually, Swee' Pea is Popeye's adopted son in all the comics and in some cartoons. Only in the Famous Studios cartoons is he Olive's cousin.. Joey (in awe): Ma'am, I am so impressed! You are one of the only people I have ever met who knew that. Angie: Well, thank you. I guess it's common to assume a child is the woman's. Anyway, we couldn't get pinatas because the French waiter who was supposed to deliver them from the Italian restaurant in Chinatown has the German measles. Joey (as Popeye): Well blow me down. Sounds like an international outbreak. Angie (laughing): Come on. I promised Justin and his friends entertainment, and I can tell you'll be great. (Danny, Stephanie, and Caleb are seated at the dining room table, Mr. Wilson is taking a phone call and goes into the other room) Mrs. Wilson (rising): Would you care for something to drink, Mr. Tanner? Danny: Do you have any milk? (She leaves) Steph, you seem upset. Stephanie: Who wouldn’t be, after you asked his parents if they’d had that talk about the birds and the bees with Caleb? Danny: Sorry, Steph, but you know how protective I get sometimes. Especially with Michelle’s accident being just a little over four months ago. You were the same way at camp with her; she could hardly take a shower without you there. And that big fuss you made about not letting her anywhere near the top bunk? (She nods slowly. He pauses) Surely I’ve done something to impress you. Stephanie: Well...I loved that part about how you and Mom were best friends almost from the moment you met. And, you stayed best friends till the day she died. Danny (smiles wistfully): I know. I know. (He lovingly puts a hand on her knee.) And, you know, Steph, it could be worse. I could be like Joey and doing cartoon voices. (Joey is entertaining kids, including Justin, Wendy, and Michelle, at the birthday party. He juggles some things while doing different cartoons voices. Then, he does his one-person Wizard of Oz routine from an earlier episode. The children laugh. Angie does, too) Angie: That was great! Wasn’t Mr. Joey wonderful, kids? Kids: Yeah! Wendy: Cake now! Justin: No, presents. Wendy: Cake! Justin: Presents! Wendy: Pwesents! Justin: Cake (looks up, groans): She did it to me again! Angie: Why don’t you guys play a little while I cut the cake. (Angie pulls the cake out and puts nine candles on while lighting them. Joey is in the kitchen with her) Joey: Shame the parents can’t make it. (Angie nods sadly) Joey: I mean, their own kid’s birthday? My dad was in the military, but at least my mom was always there. Angie: Well...they have...some problems. Joey (concerned): Hey, you look upset. (Offers her a kleenex from her own box) Care to talk about it? Angie: Oh, it’s nothing, it’s just...My big sister and her husband, they both travel a lot on business. And...well, there’s more. Thanks. (She blows her nose) Anyway...you know, your Popeye voice is funny, but I always preferred Loony Tunes. Joey (as Bugs Bunny): Oh, yeah, they’re great, Doc. Angie (chuckles a little): I guess Popeye’s just too violent for me. I mean, there’s no plot to the cartoons. I don’t think they’re that witty, either, not like Bugs Bunny is. And, with those, they’re sometimes educational, too. Joey: Oh, yeah, like when he misses that left turn at Alberquerque, and winds up with Napoleon, or in King Arthur’s court... Angie: Exactly. Joey: So, how’d you know all about Swee-Pea? Angie: Old trivia book. (Both grin, Angie follows Joey in, chuckling) Joey: You know, I’ve gotta be somewhere at eight, but maybe we could get an early dinner and talk some more? Angie: I need to be home to get Wendy to bed, but I think I could manage that. How about 5:30? Joey: Sounds great. (Angie lights the candles as scene changes) (Jesse and Becky are in their apartment on the couch, with Nebraska Elvis behind them) Jesse: Tell me the truth, Beck. You don’t like that Elvis, do you? Becky: Well...I think it’s kind of tacky, don’t you? Jesse: Tackier than a cow in an attic apartment? Becky (laughs slightly): Well, okay. I guess that would be a little tacky. Jesse: Aw, come on, if he doesn’t go there, where do we put him? Becky: Maybe as part of a jungle gym for the kids. Jesse: I never thought of that. Becky: Jess, I was kidding. Jesse: I wasn’t. Becky: Jess, it’s not that I don’t like Elvis. I just don’t want him in our living room. I feel like he’s always staring at me, and ready to call me Big Mama or something. Jesse: Well, why didn’t you say something before we rearranged the furninture? Becky (sighs): Well, the truth is...I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. (Turns to him): Honey, I know Elvis means a lot to you. And for you to go and order a...whatever you call it is really something sweet. I know Elvis never wore Nebraska red. And I still can’t imagine him singing “Red Suede Shoes.” Jesse: But, I did it for you, hon. Becky: I know. And I love that my husband is willing to dress Elvis up to please me. But, let’s not have him in our living room, okay? Elvis: Well, where do we put him? Becky: Jess, do you really want a statue of Elvis in your house? Jesse (thinks a moment): Nah. I guess it was just something I thought of to show how much I care. I’d do anything to help you. Well, except the hair. I wouldn’t shave my hair. Becky: Not even if I had cancer and went bald? Jesse: Well... Becky: Jess, that part doesn’t matter. You don’t need to be giving me a Nebraska Elvis to show your love for me. Let’s go together and pick out something fun. Just the two of us. D.J. said she can babysit tonight. It’s been four months since the prom, and Steve might come over, but I don’t think there’s anything serious - yet. Michelle’s fully recovered, and now she’s even able to help D.J. with the boys. Jesse: Yep. Everything’s worked out so wonderfully. And, with or without a Nebraska Elvis, we’ve got the best family in the world. (as they kiss): Have mercy! (D.J. and Steve are with Nicky and Alex, Jesse and Becky are leaving) D.J.: I loved your Nebraska Elvis. Steve: Me, too. I thought it was...cute. Jesse: Sure you don’t want him for your college? One of your friends might like it in their dorm room. Steve: Okay, not that cute. Becky: Actually, there’s this student lounge at the University of Nebraska. We called, and they said they’d take it. Jesse: We’re getting our names on the wall for donating it, too. Pretty cool, huh? D.J.: Yeah. I just hope your kids go there now. Nicky: We wanna go where D.J. goes. Becky: But, D.J. won’t be there when you boys get there. Alex: Who will be at Nebraska, Mommy? Becky (giving a look): Well, Elvis, for one thing. (Joey and Angie are seated at a restaraunt) Angie: You’ve got a nice family, too. Joey: Thanks. You know, you seemed a bit distracted there, when I told you about Pam’s accident. Angie: Yes, well...the truth is, it’s not just business travel. I say that around the kids. But, there’s something more. My older sister and her husband...they both drink. Sometimes a little too much. Joey: Oh no. They’ve never hurt the kids, have they? Angie: Thankfully, no. They just neglect their responsibility. They leave them with me. So, I’m caring for them a fair amount of time. Joey: Oh, I’m so sorry. Angie: It’s so hard sometimes. Wendy just turned two not long ago, and they showed up for that. I think Justin was a little down about that, too, till you came. Joey (doing Bugs Bunny): Hey, Doc, you gotta keep smiling, or the world can’t smile with you. Angie: Joey, you are so funny. It’s so nice to be with you. I think I need cheered up, too, sometimes. Joey: Thanks. So, how does Friday sound? Angie: Great. (D.J., Danny, and Michelle are eating a snack as Joey comes in the door) D.J: Hey, Joey. How was your routine? Joey: Great. Stephanie told me things went well at the Wilsons. D.J.: Yeah, after Dad taped his mouth shut. Danny: Deej, I did not have to tape my mouth shut. I just let them talk for a while. Michelle: How’d your date go? Joey: It went great. We’re seeing each other again Friday. Danny: That’s super. Joey: And Michelle will vouch for the family. Won’t you, Michelle? Michelle: Yeah. She’s got a niece and nephew who are over there a lot. But, that makes it fun. And, Joey’s great with kids. (She turns to Danny) Will you be testing my boyfriends when I’m ready? Danny: Yes. And, D.J. and Steph might even more than me. But, you know what? I know you’ll make smart choices yourself. Sometimes I talk with the parents, and it’s just to help me realize how lucky I am. You’re all intelligent, warm, gentle, compassionate. And I want to know that the boy who lands you, just like with D.J. and Stephanie, knows just how lucky he is.

Author notes are great for explaining longer stories. But they shouldn't occur in poems or songfics like here - why have a note longer than the fic? Instead, you should try to depict the entire character or scene or episode with the fic, so not much explanation is needed - oh, you can say "insired by sucyh and such," but this Star Trek: The Next Generation song fic tells you who Q is, alludes to a few episodes with him in it, and everything simply within the sing, which is to the tune of a Billy Joel hit, IIRC: The "Q" Theme Song - Annoyance To Man (Tune of "Innocent Man." Some people think they can fly right on in to whatever part of space that they want. They see a new race fly 'round outside their ship and won't even say "hi." Some humans think the universe is theirs and they can't see beyond emotions. They will just act like barbarians everywhere their starship can fly. I know you say you've advanced past that point. I know I put Picard's nose out of joint. I may seem wacky but I want to see how you put up with me 'fore the Continuum lets you go. I'm not above making fools of you just to show you mortals I can. Some say I act like a two-oo year old and I treat people like a fancy new toy. You humans all just fill me with joy Because I'm an annoyance to man I'm an annoyance to man Oh yes I am We put the whole human race on trial 'cause we just wanted to see what they'd do. Because we'd all seen how crazy they'd been when they explored their own little world. And now they go 'round in big fancy ships seeing all sorts of anomalies. but now you humans just don't act amazed at the fun stuff in store. I know you don't like to see me appear. You tell young captains to steer very clear. But I can tell you of so much good stuff that will make space less rough. Remember I warned you of the Borg. We can even have fun for a while if Worf will just be a "merry man." No please don't think I'm here to pick a fight, That wouldn't be fair becasue I would win. It's just that I want to have fun with you I'm only an annoyance to man. I'm an annoyance to man Oh yes I'm an annoyance to man. You know the Q think you can be really great. The human race could have a wonderful fate. It's your decision how your people go but there's one thing I know that's that you could be out conq'ring the stars. I'll even take you back to the start to make sure that humanity begins. Though by your century you don't have a cure for people like Picard who've lost all their hair. I'll keep on bugging you till you succeed because I'm an annoyance to man. I'm an annoyance to man Oh yes, I'm an annoyance to man.

AS it has a book universe that's different, the Full House series is a good place to show how to use an AU - explain in an A/N of sorts why it's different, than try to stick to the script at the beginning while having litte departures along the way; with a different plot for originality, like here. In the BU, more mom-like D.J. wouldn't sneak her sisters into a movie, four years after dedicating herself to be mom-like she'd find a sitter. But, that alone could have had very funny consequences. BTW, since the books mention a grandmother (Danny's mom) in Coonecticut, I figured I'd assume she moved back by this time, & why; it would explain the TVU lack of Granny Tanner her and later, too. Last story for a while again, but thought I'd get a few ideas out at once here. THE BABY-SITTER MERRY-GO-ROUND D.J. Tanner, fourteen, was stunned. She'd thought her current boyfriend - well, not a really close boyfriend, but the guy she liked, anyway - would be unavailable. She'd been happy to babysit this Saturday night. And now, here he was at the door. The movie they wanted to see started in only a little while. And yet... Had she not dedicated herself to being more Mom-like to her sisters Stephanie, almost ten, and Michelle, five, she might have tried to sneak them into a movie, since she didn't have money to pay for their own G-rated one. But, not now. Their mother had passed away four and a half years ago, and she was going to do just what she thought her mom would do. Start dialing a bunch of numbers in a panic. Mom always had been pretty excitable, she told herself. "Deej, what are you diong?" Stephanie asked as she stared at her older sister. D.J. had just tried the home of Stephanie's best friend, Allie Taylor, but nobody was home there. "And who's the hunk?" Michelle asked, repeating a word she'd heard D.J. use to describe guys. D.J. rolled her eyes. "Guys, I'm trying to find a sitter for you. Rats, Hannah's not home, either. And Kimmy'll be working at the theater." Kimmy Gibbler was D.J.'s best friend; they and hannah were in 9th grade together. And, her mom's parents were in Greece for a month visiting Jesse's grandpa, while Danny's mom had moved back to Connecticut. Danny's parents had split rent money after divorcing when both moved out of the family home when Danny was little. But, she'd moved back a few months ago when the renters moved out, since Danny's father had passed away. "Come on, help me think." "I could watch her, Deej." "Sorry, Steph, you're a little too young. You need a sitter yourself." "I could babysit Stephanie," Michelle offered. "Michelle, you're younger than her." "Just trying to help." Michelle tapped her chin as D.J. picked up the phone. "I could go to Cassie's." Cassie Wilkins was her best friend in Kindergarten. D.J. plopped the phone down and said, "Great thinking, Michelle. Grab your jackets, we'll just go there and I won't have to waste time... Steph, why are you running upstairs?" "I'm gonna work on my book report!" came the shout. As Stephanie descended with her backpack, she said, "I'm not playing Candyland all evening with a couple little kids." "Oh, all right. Come on, let's go," D.J. said in a huff. Cassie lived very close to the Tanners, so they were there quickly. D.J. was hoping Cassie would be home that Saturday evening. "I wish I knew where Hannah was," she said of her good friend, Hannah Larkin, as she knocked on the door. "There she is," Michelle said as Hannah opened the door. "Hannah, what are you doing here?" "The Wilkins hired me to babysit, so while my parents and the others went to Dad's work party, I came here. The Wilkins are at some church activity." D.J. breathed heavily, and decided that this was the best of a bad situation. She had found a sitter, like she'd be expected to do. It was just not how and where she'd be expected to do it. "Okay, look," she said as she ushered Stepahnie and Michelle in, "My dad and Uncle Jesse and Joey are at a hockey game." Jesse was Jesse Katsopolis, Danny Tanner's brother- in-law. He'd moved in to help Danny raise the three girls after their mom died. He'd later married Becky Donaldson; together they lived with the Tanners still and had twin baby boys, Nicky and Alex. Joey was Joey Gladstone, Danny's best friend from college, who'd also moved in to help, and who still lived in the basement. "Aunt Becky took the twins to visit someone, so they wouldn't be back in time. And, I thought I was free but now I'm not. So, could you..." "No problem, D.J.. I'm pretty sure the Wilkins wouldn't mind. If need be, I can always take the kids back to your house; does Steph have a key?" "She does. Great. Thanks, Hannah, I owe you one," D.J. said as she and her date left hurriedly. Stephanie gazed after D.J. for a moment, then looked at Michelle and Cassie, who had already gotten a board game out to play. "As I said, I have a book report to do." "Cassie's brother is building a model he got over Christmas, I'm helping him with that," Hannah reported. Christmas had only been a few days before, and the Wilkins', like the Tanners, had many decorations still up. "I might have some time to help with your book report once that's done; maybe once we get back to your house." "Great, thanks." Stephanie opened her backpack and said, "By the way, how are we going to get in?" "Huh?" "Well, D.J. got out too fast for me to say I didn't get my key." "Ooookay. This is getting interesting. Well, tell you what. Why don't you call your house and tell them where you'll be, in case they get back before D.J.." "Sure; will we be at your house, or here?" "On second thought, maybe you should hold off on the call," Hannah remarked. "Gotcha." Stephanie began to work on her report as Hannah left. But, when she reached a point that stumped her, she took a break - and called home. "Hey, Dad, in case you get this before we get in, D.J. wound up having a date after all, so we're at the sitters. That might be Hannah. It might be Cassie's. They're sorta combined right now, 'cause Hannah's at Cassie's. More as new information comes in. Bye." Stephanie had just hung up the phone and picked up her pencil again when the Wilkins came in. "Don't worry, Hannah didn't shrink. D.J. dropped us off because she was in a hurry," Stephanie explained as Hannah came out of the kitchen and explained the situation. "I hope you don't mind. I was going to take Stephanie and Michelle back to their house..." "Oh, it's no problem, Hannah, thanks." Mrs. Wilkins hugged Cassie and her brother, and then told Cassie, "Do you remember that nice Mr. Wentzel? The man whose wife died a couple years ago?" "Yeah, Mommy. We took a turkey to him." "Why didn't he just get a dog?" Michelle wanted to know. The Wilkins laughed heartily. "Dear, we took a turkey for him to eat at Thanksgiving. I was just telling Cassie about him because I thought we could go visit him tonight." "So, we'll be going with you?" Stephanie guessedpointing a pencil at Hannah. "Well, no, sorry guys. I just sort of realized I did promise my folks I'd be at the party once the Wilkins got home." Hannah looked at them and said, "If it's okay with you." "Oh, no problem at all, we love having Stephanie and Michelle over," Mrs. Wilkins said. As it was still early evening, before it was dark, Hannah got on her bicycle and rode the several blocks to the party, since it wasn't very cold outside. "We called and promised him we were coming; or at least some of us were," Mr. Wilkins noted. "But, I can always here with Stephanie and Michelle while you take the kids, honey." "Can Michelle come, too?" Cassie asked eagerly. "Welllll, I suppose," Mrs. Wilkins remarked. "We won't be staying very long anyway, and I know you girls won't be too rowdy. We'll be back home in plenty of time before D.J. or their dad picks them up, honey." "Great; just let me make one call," Stephanie said, holding up a finger and rushing to the phone. "Dad," she said once the machine picked up, "it's Steph. It'll be the Wilkins, except they promised to visit an elderly friend. So, we'll be out spreading some cheer for a few minutes. But, we'll be back at the Wilkins' by the time you get this. Bye." Upon arriving at Mr. Wentzel's house, however, the elderly gentleman was clearly in some pain. "I've been having these pains off and on for a while," he said. "Where does it hurt?" "It's all over my chest, like a crushing feeling," he told Mr. Wilkins. "Oh, boy. Look, we need to get you to the hospital." He looked at his wife, and said, "Honey, I think we'll have enough room, we'll just have to double up on the seats; the seat belts are big enough people can sit on laps and still be strapped in." Michelle quickly ran out to the car. "I get Stephanie's lap," she announced. "All right, and Cassie can use mine in the back. We'll put your brother up front, Cassie" she informed Cassie. "So will one of you be taking us back to your house?" Stephanie wanted to know. "I'm afraid not, Dear, both of us will have to be hlping him so he doesn't fall, plus calling a few relatives. We know a friend who babysits our kids, she can watch you girls, too." "Rrrright." As Stpehanie tried to keep everything straight in her mind, Michelle turned around in the seatbelt once buckled in and asked, "Who will be babysitting us?" "Anyone but the Gibblers. I'd rather have Nicky and Alex babysit us!" she remarked, referring to Jesse and Becky's baby boys. Kimmy was weird and very annoying, especially to Stephanie, and it stood to reason Kimmy's family was just as odd, though they didn'tseem near as annoying because at least they weren't over all the time like Kimmy. Once they arrived at the hospital, Stephanie went in with the other kids while the Wilkins helped Mr. Wentzel. Stephane led the children over to the pay phone to call home - but when she reached into her pocket for a quarter, she found her key! It had been on her new key chain, but she'd forgotten that she'd put it in her pocket that morning. "Hey, Dad; it's Steph," she told the machine. "Guess what - I have my key after all. I forgot about that new key chain you got me, I had put it in my pocket this morning. So, I guess Hannah could have...well, what does that matter? We're with the Wilkins, but they had to take that older neighbor to the hospital. His chest was really hurting; he said it felt like a crushing feeling. They think it might be a heart attack. But, at least I found my key; oh, maybe I didn't tel you I didn't have it. Did I? No, I guess it was just D.J. I told, back when she dropped us off with Hannah - well, with Hannah at the Wilkins'. But, anyway, they're..." The machine beeped and hung up, as Stephanie had talked for too long. "How rude," she said into the phone before hanging up. "Did you talk to Daddy?" "Yeah, Michelle, but I didn't have enough time to say where we were going. I guess we'll just have to wait till we're...well, wherever we're going." She put an arm around Michelle and one around Cassie and smiled at Cassie's brother, who was practicing his baseball swing with an invisible bat. "I'm so glad you guys are co-operating, and staying right here. You make my job so much easier." She remembered D.J. complimenting Michelle often when younger about such things, and knew it was important to shower praise on kids sometimes. She really was glad, too; she couldn't imagine what it would be like having to corral these kids. She grinned as Mrs. Wilkins checked to make sure they were all okay. "You could handle the troublemakers, too," the boy said confidently. Michelle smiled proudly at Stephanie in agreement. "Yeah. I guess. I handle them pretty well now when I help the principal out. Of course, who knows what kind of challenge I'll face next year. I just now really got established as Principal's Assistant." She snickered and said, "I don't know if it was more stopping Aaron's bullying, or the fact you sent so many kids to me those first couple weeks after you came to see me your first day of Kindergarten, Michelle," Stephanie remarked. Mrs. Wilkins walked up to them. "Okay, kids, come on. They'll be checking Mr. Wentzel out for a couple hours, but before I try to call some of his relatives, I'm going to try to get you someplace where they can watch you." She informed Cassie and her brother that she'd be back to get them about eleven that evening. "It won't be long, although you'll probably be asleep by then, Cassie." With the video games this friend had for her own nephews, it was likely that the Wilkins' boy might be awake till then. "He'll probably keep me awake shouting at the game," Cassie said of her brother. Once they were driven and introduced to the newest sitter, Stephanie asked if she could use the phone. While Michelle and Cassie enjoyed some ice cream for dessert, and Cassie's brother ran to the video game system in the spare bedroom, Stephanie phoned home once more. "Hey, Dad, it's me again. Now, we're...well, we're at Staci Saunders' house. It's a friend of Mrs. Wilkins, but you know, I forgot to get the address yet. It's probably in the book, though. In fact, I just thought, Mrs. Wilkins said she'd be back by eleven. You might be back by then. I'm sure D.J. will be. Why don't I call Allie's mom? Maybe she can take us home." Stephanie got the address from Miss Saunders, and called Allie's house. "Hey, Al....You just got back from a late dinner? Well, we need a babysitter....What do you mean, for who? For Michelle and I....It's a long story. Look, can your mom pick us up at this address?" Once that had been taken care of, Stepahnie called home again. "Hey, Dad, it's Steph. Allie's mom is coming to get us, so we'll be home pretty soon. In fact, probably before you get home. So, if you get home first, Deej, don't worry. We'll be there." Stephanie hung up, trying to remember if there was anyone else she should call. Oh, yes, the theater. Kimmy Gibbler answered the phone at the ticket window. "Hello, cinema....Hey, what's up, squirt?...Look, I don't care whio had to go to the hospital, I've got a job to do. This is one of the few places that would take me....So you say you're being taken home?...Look, I can't tell D.J. everything you're saying, my brain doesn't work like that." "Your brain doesn't work, period, Kimmy," Stephanie cracked. "Look, just tell D.J. to come home; we'll be there with the sitter." "Your home?" "Of course, our home! Whose house did you think it would be, the President's?" "Just checking." Kimmy wrote down the message on a piece of paper. "Tell D.J. to go home. Got it." "Good." Stephanie sighed. "At least she can do one thing right." Mrs. Taylor, Allie, Stephanie, and Michelle were relaxing in the living room talking about presents when D.J. and Kimmy walked in. "Hey, Steph, we got your message, thanks." D.J. glanced at Mrs. Taylor. "How did you wind up as the sitter, Mrs. Taylor? When I tried you before nobody was home." Kimmy threw back her head. "And Steph thought I was dumb not being able to get that complicated story she tried to tell me. It's obvious, Deej." "What's obvious?" "Well, of course, the Taylors weren't home, Deej. They were right here all the time." "Kimmy..." D.J. held her mouth opened as Danny, Jesse, and Joey entered the house from the kitchen. It would be too hard to explain this late at night. "Never mind." "Daddy!" Michelle ran up to Danny and hugged him. As they embraced & Danny picked her up and held her, he said, "Hey, pumpkin; sounds like you were on a merry-go-round tonight." "I was? Where was the music?" She held out her hands. "And where was the cotton candy?" "Sorry, Dad. I found out I actually did have a date, so I found a sitter. Except, well...it kind of got out of hand, I guess. I still don't know what all happened, although Kimmy tried to explain from what she got of Steph's story." "It's okay. Although next time, you might think about trying Blockbuster." "Sure, Dad; this time it wasn't a movie they'd be allowed to see, though." D.J. looked at Steph. "I figure I may as well admit that; you would, anyway." "You bet. You've trained us well, Deej." "She really has. And, I guess it's just like something that Mom would have done. I still remember that day Steph was born. Rushing around trying to find a sitter for you, Deej, and having to interrupt doing that to keep you from using all our jugs as water bottles." He turned to Jesse and Joey, obvivious to D.J.'s embarrassment. "Remember that, guys? She had heard somewhere that hot water bottles were used sometimes, so she poured all our milk and juice into every glass there was, and was running hot water into the jugs." Turning back to D.J. he said, "You were ready to start helping her deliver right then and there." "Dad!" The snickering from the others was bad enough; Kimmy's was horrifying. "Whatever you do, don't repeat that at school," she instructed her firmly. "Oh, I won't, Deej. Except for an occasional reference to your nursing skills." "I won't complain; it sounds like you couldn't have expected things to get that wild. And, you've taught Steph how to handle herself and Michelle well, and neither was in any trouble." He chuckled as he said, "In fact, Steph, if you wanted to be a little less verbose in leaving messages, I wouldn't mind." "Okay, Dad." "I'm still waiting for the cotton candy," Michelle exclaimed, still in Danny's arms. "Let's all go out and have ice cream isntead before we get you girls to bed," Danny sugguested. They all followed him out to the kitchen, after he thanked the Taylors and they went home. Stephanie was getting a sinking feeling as Danny explained to Michelle what he'd meant by a merry-g-round. "I think we need to go back to the Wilkins'. "Steph, it's okay; you're not on that merry-go-round any more," D.J. said. "No, I mean, I think I left my backpack with my book report there." "And we didn't finish our game of Candyland." "You girls can go back tomorrow to pick it up," Danny assured them. "Okay." Michelle turned to D.J.. "But if you put us on that thing again you make sure they have some cotton candy." "We'll try. But, if they don't have that, will ice cream do?" Michelle nodded with a mouth full of it. "I guess I didn't do too bad being in Mom's shoes tonight, huh?" "No, not really. You were responsible enough; you could have stayed home, but I want you to have your freedom, too. And, it's one of those things where normally, there's two good sitters where you left them, then it turned out there were none. But, your mom couldn't have done much better. And Steph, you watched out for Michelle, and kept calling and calling, and calling. You really take after me in how much you like to talk. And Michelle, it sounds like you listened to all of your sitters very well. I'm glad to know I'm raising such wonderful, responsible young ladies."

Had a couple other thoughts. Many people want to continue shows after they're done - some excellent work has been done by many on Hogan's Heroes, but this is one example where it's after the war. It also was praised by several reviewers for just the right amount of subtlety, not being too over the top witht he issue of Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier, so I thought I'd paste it here. IT WAS WORTH IT ALL Peter Newkirk looked at the thing he held in his hand with a mixture of curiosity and disgust. "What in the world is this?" "It's a hot dog." Newkirk glanced at Andrew Carter, his former partner in crime at Stalag 13 and rolled his eyes. "I know it's a hot dog, Andrew. The bloody vendor gave you two of 'em when you called out 'Hot dogs here!' That still doesn't bring me any closer to knowin' what it is. What's it made of?" Frenchman Louis LeBeau, seated on Newkirk's left in the single-decked ballpark, had seen the odd items being sold elsewhere. He shrugged and said matter of factly, "Maybe it's made of emilac." Newkirk shook his head. That had been an in joke ever since he and LeBeau had come to the United States to visit. Any strange, new thing to them instantly was explained away with a chemical that didn't exist. A chemical that LeBeau had been proclaimed the inventor of back at Stalag 13, as an aide in one of the Heroes' top secret missions. "I'll 'emilac' you. Here, Carter, you bought it, you eat the bloody thing. I'll stick with peanuts. At least I'm used to helpin' myself to some of the elephants' snacks when I'm backstage with the circus." He gave the hotdog back to Carter. "Sorry I'm late, guys. Did I miss anything, Kinch?" General - formerly Colonel - Robert E. Hogan sat on the far right of the group, next to James Kinchloe. "Nope. They're just about to start the national anthem." All five joined the rest of the crowd in standing and placing hands and/or caps over their hearts. They sang proudly and joyfully, though mostly off key. Their eyes watered as the song neared an end. It was almost two years to the day since they'd been liberated from Stalag 13. Stalag 13. Kinch's mind had been on that place for much of the day. Indeed, for much of the last few weeks - ever since his friends had confirmed Kinch's invitation and said they would be there for a reunion starting the previous Saturday. And, they had arrived, though Hogan had had enough work that he hadn't gotten to the game until just before it started. They cheered quietly until the object of their interest came up to bat for the first time. He hit a ball sharply toward the left side of the infield, and sped down the line toward first base. "Out," cried the umpire. The Heroes watched as the player turned, seemingly ready to argue the call - which could have gone either way - then stopped. He ignored the questionable call and went down into the dugout. Hogan smiled at the self-control. It was quite impressive, all things considered - as was the man's speed. He'll do great things someday, he said to himself. "About time huh? I remember you telling me about a fellow in Detroit - Stearnes, was it?" "Yeah," Kinch said absently. "Turkey Stearnes. Great outfielder." "I got to meet Ted Williams we both came home - he was a flyer in the Marines, you know. He says the Hall of Fame needs to think about these guys, too, if they're truly dedicated to enshrining all the best. I told him when he makes the Hall he should make his speech about that. He said he'd been thinking about the same thing," Hogan said matter-of-factly. "He's intent on being the best hitter who ever lived." Carter suddenly interrupted his monologue toward Newkirk, a former soldier from Britain, and LeBeau, a former French solder. He turned, wide- eyed, toward Hogan. "Wow, you got to meet Ted Williams?!" he shouted for half their section of the ball park to hear. "The Ted Williams? The man who hit .400 back in '41?" "Yep. Being from New England, I had to ask if I could. Just one of those little perks," Hogan said. He was quite modest - he actually idolized the younger Williams, not just for his phenomenal baseball ability, but for his dogged determination to fight for his country, too. He had been one of their better ones at training other pilots, which was Williams' main job during the war. He reportedly had 20/12 vision; better than "perfect." Hogan's exploits during the war had earned him the right to meet him if it could be arranged, which it had. The great hitter carried the same intensity to his job that Hogan had to his. Williams was so determined to perfect his hitting that he would practice swinging wherever he could with imaginary bats - even while waiting at stop lights when walking. Hogan, meanwhile, had honed his skills to become a true master spy - wanting, like Williams, to be the best ever, though he would never tell anyone that. And, the four men seated with him had been part of a group known as Hogan's Heroes. They were the All-Stars, the main cogs of this unit that had operated the most incredible top secret organization of all during the war. They had operated it in the heart of Germany, from inside a German Prisoner of War camp. That camp had been Stalag 13. The Heroes continued to watch the game, their minds happily away from the dangers of that camp. They had carried out many types of covert missions. Some had involved rescuing airmen. Some had involved rescuing captured Underground agents. Some had involved stealing secret plans or helping people defect - that last had been aided by LeBeau's pretending to be a famous chemist who had experimented with synthetic fuel. Hogan had told their bungling camp kommandant, Wilhelm Klink, that LeBeau had invented emilac as part of that ruse. However, their missions had also brought much danger, forced them to improvise in incredible ways, accomplish nearly impossible feats, and impersonate Germans on numerous occasions - even Hitler himself! And, of course, if they'd been caught, with the amount of information they had, the methods the Gestapo would have used...well, even Hogan didn't want to think about that. "Holy cow, did you see that play?" the boyish Carter shouted as the Braves' third baseman dove to take away a sure base hit, then threw to second practically from his belly. Even Newkirk and LeBeau were impressed - though partly because it gave Carter a moment to lapse into silence. It seemed that whenever he wasn't eating ice cream and hot dogs, he was going through a rapid monologue trying to explain the nuances of the game to the foreigners. Nuances that would have been more easily understood had they not just comprehended two innings ago that those foul balls were considered strikes - unless the batter already had two strikes, of course. "Andrew, we could all tell that was a great play, why don't you just leave it at that?" LeBeau asked. Newkirk waved his hand. "Aw, don't bother, Louie. Whatever you say, 'e's still gonna find a way to compare it to some guy named Wamby an' his tripping play in the Series in 1920, or maybe talk about how Babe Ruth was the best player ever till he got Lou Gehrig's Disease." Carter was aghast. "It was a triple play that Bill Wambsganss made unassisted in 1920. And, Babe Ruth never had Lou Gehrig's Disease, Lou Gehrig had Lou Gehrig's Disease." He watched as Newkirk rolled his eyes. "Well think about it. Why would a great player die and then have the disease named after someone else?" Newkirk playfully pulled Carter's Brooklyn cap down over his eyes. LeBeau leaned over and said, "Anyway, thanks for inviting us to this game, Kinch." "Hey, no problem," Kinch said absently, still lost in his thoughts, but with an enormous grin on his face. "It was the worst kept secret in the city, that he'd be signed. When my one cousin called and mentioned this last month, I just knew we had to try and make it a reunion." "Yep, there's nothing more American than baseball," Hogan mused. He was glad to have an exciting game to introduce his foreign friends to - the 26,000 plus fans were clearly enjoying themselves in a very close ball game. "All right," shouted a woman in the bleachers. She rang a cowbell at a good play that the Dodgers made on defense, and continued to holler. "That woman's been there since the '30s, I think my cousin said," Kinch informed the others. "She always has her cowbell, and her voice reminds of an air raid siren." "An' that band reminds me of Klink an' his lousy violin playin'," Newkirk responded. Carter pointed to the sign they carried. "Hey, look. It says 'Sym- phony band.' That's funny." "Sounds like that's what they are," LeBeau added. Kinch nodded. "I asked, they don't usually do guest performances, but they said they might for someone good enough at playing bad - they're kind of like mascots almost. They've been together quite a while, too." "I bet we could get old Klink to leave his job as Schultz's bookkeeper for a while and come play a bit for them," Hogan said. Klink played the violin very badly. Schultz was the chief of the guards at Stalag 13 - and had constantly ignored the Heroes' antics. He had been more or less a neutral, though perhaps slightly favoring the Allies, as he could see some major problems with the Nazis. He had just wanted people to be nice to each other and stop this war so he could reopen his toy factor. He had managed to do that recently. The band played louder as the game's excitement intensified in the seventh. The player who had been signed recently laid down a fabulous bunt to try and push the tying run to second. He was so fast, the first baseman had to hurry his throw - and the batter wound up on second base after the ball hit him. Moments later, he scored what would prove to be the winning run on Pete Reiser's hit. The fans all cheered as the last out was made in the 5-3 win. Kinch, however, was perhaps the most subdued of them all as the Heroes stood around, waiting for the crowd to diminish before trying to leave themselves. "Hey, Kinch, what's on your mind?" LeBeau asked. "It was worth it all." "Huh?" "It was worth it all, Louis. All those sleepless nights, all the worries and dangers, all those times we were almost caught. All the anxiety. When Jackie Robinson scored that winning run today, when the fans cheered regardless of his race, when the whole team, regardless of race, came together and won..." "Oh, yeah, you said somethin' about this being the first integrated team ever," Newkirk realized. Hogan's Heroes had been integrated - Kinch and another of the All Stars, Baker, were black, after all, and there were a few other black prisoners in their unit Newkirk was so used to the way Hogan had run things, he hadn't really thought about that being unusual until Kinch's statement reminded him. Kinch nodded. "That's right. White teams had played the Negro League teams before in exhibitions. But, this was the first time a Negro ballplayer ever played on a major league team." "And, it wouldn't have been possible," Hogan added pensively, "unless we'd gone through all that we did, to defeat the idea of the 'master race.'" He mulled over all that they'd gone through, and all that would still have to be done in his own country. "This is a great beginning," he said. "And, you're right. The barriers are going to come down, because we chose to give it all. It really was worth it." He snickered as he heard Carter going on about Josh Gibson's mammoth home runs. There was a man who understood the importance of the simple things in life. "Come on, Andrew, it's just a game," LeBeau said. "Oh, it's a game, LeBeau. But a game that means so much to us Americans. And, the battle Jackie Robinson is facing...well, it, and all the other big steps we'll face, will be won, because we defended the values of equality and freedom and democracy." Hogan smiled as he gazed proudly at Old Glory flapping int he cool April breeze. "It was a hard fight. But, it was worth every bit of it."

Again, this "Touched By An Angel" story illustrates what is great - we can put some stories in anytime and they'd work with some series, or before or after, but don't torture your stars. And, reaaly, you can write great adventure without hurting anyone, as in this final in our series, for now - the reaal adventure. Summary: Many thoughts ramble through Monica's mind as she ponders the intense nature of spiritual battles while watching over several people in hiding in World War II. The girl's muscles tensed. Watching out the window, she appears like a goalie waiting to block a shot. She should be doing this while playing soccer right now, having fun, Monica told herself. Instead, here she is, staring out a window. No, thank goodness, that truck wasn't a Gestapo vehicle. Probably wouldn't have been, either, because she didn't see Kathleen, the angel of darkness who was her nemesis. Lori, the Guardian Angel for this seven-year-old girl, stood by, praying as usual. Maybe it was a false alarm. Maybe that woman who was sneaking around earlier wasn't a Gestapo agent. Maybe... "Maybe Ahab," cried the girl as a car rumbled down the street. No, thought Monica, that's going too fast, they would slow down if they were Gestapo. And, I would see the forces of darkness riding with them. And, perhaps, if there weren't enough prayers, they would win, and...no, she told herself, you can't afford to think like that. She prayed silently, asking for extra protection. These were the battles you had to win. There could be no slipups. Life was so much simpler in the old days, before this war, Monica told herself. Poor little girl probably can't recall a time when her family wasn't hiding Jews. As the war drew near completion, Monica sensed that the devil and his minions would work with even greater urgency. Oh, how she wished each spiritual battle wasn't so important. Oh, how wonderful it had been when one could mess up an assignment a little, and not much terrible would result. Where an angel's muscles weren't tensed the whole time, where one wasn't constantly on the lookout. Where the choice of the exact time at which to appear in human form and help wasn't so crucial. Where she could sit down to a good cup of coffee and have some time between assignments. But, now? Many such extreme assignments transpired every day, yet it was still not enough. Her heart ached, so she knew God's must break in two daily. Christians and others who deliberately fought to protect the Jewish people were very sparse, and very widely scattered throughout Europe. She remembered the grand celebration when over 6,000 had been hidden in Denmark in one night, then ferried across to Sweden - now that was a miracle. Probably the only real happiness for angels these days, but at least it gave her something to cling to. The girl would not be budged. Uh-oh, she told herself, here comes Kathleen whispering in the girl's ear, trying to put ideas in her mind and get her to slack off. Is she doing this because they're coming, or to get her to be less attentive now, so next time maybe there will be a slip. Monica furiously called for assistance in the spiritual warfare and reminded the girl in a still, small voice to keep up the good work, keep striving to do God's will. Her words were soothing, Kathleen's could not be, for they were of the darkness, and Monica's were of the Light of the world. Still, Kathleen persisted. Monica reminded herself to be alert, constantly soothing the girl's mind and rebuking the evil thoughts as Lori looked on anxiously. She wondered if she shouldn't appear in human form right there - no, that would cause too much confusion in the ranks. Should she have appeared before? The frustration seemed unending - when did she appear? Thankfully, this girl's older brothers and parents provided great encouragement, and this small one was choosing the Light, selecting that which had brought her such thrills, even if part of the thrill was being the first to spot some color, bird, or what have you before anyone else. No, Monica decided, I didn't have to appear in human form to them that early. Or.... Suddenly, a car came slowly down the street, from several blocks away the youngster could see it could be Gestapo. Monica thanked God for answering the family's - and the angels' - prayers. One of their members possessed excellent sight, and competed with her brother in many eagle-eyed challenges to spot different colors, butterflies, birds, and so on. Now, of course, the stakes stood much higher. Monica soothingly coaxed the girl to make the call, giving her a warm feeling as the girl hollered out "Ahab's car!" Clever code, thought Monica, all their terms based on Scripture. The girl hadn't taken her eyes off the window. Several angels arrived to help, and Monica sensed the hostility with which the Gestapo men acted. This was no place for a simple helps angel; this was a job for the warriors, the kind who smote an army of over 150,000 Assyrians in one night. Kathleen tried to whisper "three" in the blonde-haired cutie's ear as the girl darted from the window. "Level five," she hollered, actually one higher than needed. This was the signal to flee; and perhaps that had been placed by the Lord Himself. Monica decided she would become visible quickly to assist them. Yes, people had free will, but this was important to the Lord, and the peoples' great faith had meant that could count on the Lord delivering them. Much scampering occurred, and Monica - so focused on the girl - had not noticed that there were now quite a few angels of darkness lurking, bugging all the members of the family to little avail, as Guardians protected papers and kept people from tripping. Then, there were the dark angels with the Gestapo unit. Monica sighed as an evacuation occurred. She longed to go back and protect the mother, for she was stalling the Gestapo. Her assignment was this one, though. Oh, why can't I go back and help the mother, pleaded Monica as she rushed to an exit. She felt big tears developing until she heard the familiar voice of Tess beside her. "Just keep the faith, Angel Girl," came the soothing voice, "you're not the only angel of Light here." Monica already felt spiritually and emotionally exhausted as the children fled via a secret entrance and ran to a checkpoint. There was so much spiritual warfare, demons planting in the hearts of the children the desire to slow down, not to flee, and so on, that Monica couldn't keep it all straight. She kept implanting notions of fleeing quickly, of going with the wings of eagles, and hoping, praying, for an end to this madness. God Himself longed to end the terrible wickedness of the Holocaust, but He could only do so by eliminating human free will or by violating the very laws of nature. Monica sighed, praying that this family, at least, make it out in one piece. Suddenly, as she witnessed several demons bugging the leader, a blonde teenage boy, she appeared out of nowhere. She could tell the suddenly doubting youngsters which way was safest. "This way, I know you seek help for your friends," she spoke suddenly but soothingly. Had that been the right call, she asked herself, glancing around and hoping she saw no Angels of Death. She was sorely tempted to stop any, even though she knew those like Andrew merely wanted to do their duty by lovingly taking people into the ever loving, everlasting arms of the Father. Stop it, she told herself, this is too important for there to be divisions in Heaven. We need to be united in love. She prayed for God's love to be shown in this case, and suddenly a great peace came over her. The spiritual warfare wasn't over by a longshot. Because the children had begun to recite Bible verses, the forces of darkness around them were considerably less. Should she stay or go to the mother - or go somewhere else? Yes, the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, was keeping the forces of darkness at bay. This made her job a little easier, because she didn't need to battle so many enemies and place warm, soothing thoughts in the childrens' hearts. On the other hand, they might be in serious trouble if she left for the mother. But, did the mother need it even more? Should she appear with papers provided by the Lord and help talk the mother out of the spot she was in? Then, she thought of the house. Have they hidden their escapes well enough? A trap door leading from one floor to the other was easy enough to explain - many homes had them. But, what about other little signs? How about the tunnel entrance - should she go into the house, appear in physical form, and check that? No, because then if she were spotted in physical form, there might be some mass confusion, especially because the mother might begin to stammer about her, and both of them could be in big trouble. She could surely cause more problems for the mother. But yet, if... Monica shook her head. She once again felt like the only angel there, a common feeling among all angels during this time period. The assignments were so hard, the pace so strenuous. The consequences of one little misstep, one missed turn, could be deadly. Andrew had told her already of one case where he'd taken a ten-year-old girl up to the Lord with him because she had run to warn a Jewish family in a barn. The family, thankfully, escaped. However, the point Andrew had made was that the forces of darkness had managed to convince the Gestapo to check there, and the hiders to slack off a little bit. Yes, people had free will, but they might not have had the devil not been trying so hard. That was all it took, one little seed planted by the devil. Monica fretted. Why are the forces of darkness so prevalent, she asked herself. She was thankful she was not yet a Caseworker angel, but merely with Search and Rescue. This was why she'd been assigned to this detail; Tess had been observing another Caseworker angel dealing with the father of the girl she'd been watching. There was a really tough job. Yes, search and rescue was difficult, and involved a fair deal of work, but case working? That kept one on their toes all the time. Monica chose to follow the children. Once they were safely at a checkpoint, she grieved over her inability to be in two places at once, but after praying silently once more received peace from the Father, a still small voice reminding her that He was working, even if she couldn't see. She learned that a Caseworker was on standby to assist in the event the children needed to leave Germany by themselves. She began to travel back toward the home, only to see the husband and wife heading toward the checkpoint. She breathed a heavy sigh of relief. "See, Angel Girl," spoke Tess, "they made it. You're not alone." Tess could tell Monica needed some confidence building, and decided she would watch her, now that the Caseworker had done his job. Monica followed the parents back to the checkpoint. Her mind was already near exhaustion as she waited for a couple minutes by having some coffee in a nearby restaurant. Steve, the Caseworker angel in question, also entered. "You drink so much of that, you're going to get addicted," he quipped. Not that angels could get addicted, he told himself, but she looks like it. Monica smiled. I have really gotten into a habit since the war began, but now I blend in more, she said to herself. "It's the only pleasurable thing around sometimes," spoke the angel. It being near nightfall, she realized they would once again be on the move. She rose to see Gestapo coming, and hurried over there with Steve. She longed to be able to simply appear in angelic form, but realized the Nazis were so brutal they wouldn't care what an angel told them. She noticed that the family already left, and chose to act with Steve as if they were husband and wife shopping together, as the checkpoint was also a grocery. "Gut naben," she spoke, giving the heil sign. When question, she produced her papers and remarked that she and Steve were too much in love to notice anyone else. Yes, she considered, too much in love with God. Was that the right thing to say, she asked herself. Will they believe us? Oh, get us out of here, Lord, she prayed. What if it wasn't - have we acted properly? Is there anything more I can do? What better could I do here? After several moments, the Gestapo dismissed them and told them not to interfere, for they were hunting people suspected of hiding Jews. Oh, dear, she told herself, at least we delayed them. What could have happened had I been a second later, she asked herself, frustrated. Yes, coffee had become an obsession with her, but it wasn't a huge vice, and besides, she needed something to calm her in human form, with this constant spiritual warfare. Monica and Steve each followed to the next checkpoint, finally catching up with the family. They chose to disappear into invisible form once more. And again, there was Kathleen, trying to stir up trouble, planting in their hearts thoughts of hopelessness, of fear, of slothfulness, thoughts which came from their own minds at times, from their own imaginations. That was the tool the devil used best. Luckily, Monica could reciprocate, and do so better, for she was of the LIght. She responded by trying to build their morale. Thankfully, this was a family well tuned to the Lord's will. Unfortunately, in this day and age it made the forces of darkness attack all the more. Finally, the family came to a checkpoint, where they represented themselves as having several more chlidren than they really did, and showed fake ID papers for the Jews, who were slightly hidden by the darkness. Monica found herself choosing human form again, assisting the smaller children and ensuring they not wander off into the woods after the family was waved through. She merely explained she, too, was fleeing. They then took off into the hills toward Switzerland, which was still a couple miles away. The parents and the eldest child helped the younger ones walk, but once more, the children began to wander. Despite the risk of the Gestapo seeing her, she knew human form was essential to guide the children back. Her job as Search and Rescue angel kicked in as she assisted in keeping the children from getting lost. However, the forces of darkness kept bugging the kids to go and see some plant, or animal, or something else that looked interesting. Kathleen especially worked on one boy who seemed fascinated with reptiles and such. The family was startled, but she assured them she knew the way, and they greatly appreciated her help as they snuck through the woods. Finally, they were in Switzerland. Safe at last. Monica vanished, then breathed a huge sigh of relief. Boy, could I go for a nice, bug chocolate latte right about now, she told herself, physically and mentally drained. Tess and Monica's supervisor, Lily, both appeared. "You did a good job, dearie," spoke Tess. "I'm going to want you for my department someday." Monica could hardly think, her mind had raced through so many possibilities during this assignment. She barely listened as Lily praised her work, though noted that Monica was a little too hasty in coming to human form in the woods, where the Gestapo might have noticed her since they were still close to the checkpoint. "When will it all end," Monica wanted to know. "Someday," Tess calmly asserted. "I just can't believe...the warfare out there. Phew," Monica exhaled. Oh, for a little boy who's wandered away from home in peaceful America, she told herself, or a fishing boat lost at sea on the Great Lakes. "It's tough for all of us, Angel Girl," agreed Tess. "But we just have to keep fighting, and the strong shall fail, the weak prevail, one battle at a time."

Hope you liked it - got great reviews on fanfiction.net when I wrote it ---------------- Meanwhile, on board Gilligan's ship, several of the aliens emerged carrying the pies that had been sent over to them. "Oh, look at the cute little aliens, dear," spoke Mrs. Howell, "aren't they precious. And they're bringing some of the pies back." "They must have eaten them all," spoke Mr. Howell from the beach that was now also a bridge. "You can keep some for later if you like," commented Gilligan. Suddenly, more Teletubbies appeared, and they began throwing the coconut cream pies at Gilligan and the others. "Gilligan, do something to stop them," shouted the Skipper. "Like what?" A pie hit him square in the face. "Anything," shouted the man, but once the creatures had thrown all their pies, they left. "Well," came Mr. Howell's insulted tone, as he brushed coconut cream off his clothes. "The best thing I can say is they do have impeccable aim." "The best thing is, hopefully that's over..." began Maryann before looking out the viewscreen. "Hard left!" "They're attcking again," remarked the Skipper, "we're being bombarded with pies!" He ordered Ginger to try to contact them. "It's no use," came Ginger, "they're really angry about something, but I can't make heads or tails out of what they're saying." A hail had been sent - perhaps too quickly - by Kim stating that Voyager had told the aliens to let the crew of the Jupiter II go first. "Isn't that a nice gesture," spoke Mrs. Robinson. Suddenly, as the creatures were about to leave their ship, pies were given to them, somehow being transported there. "Oh, look," John remarked, "they've got some going away presents. They look like...pies." "They don't look happy," Will noted. Suddenly, the pies began flying around the room. One hand held the pies, the other was used to fling them. The consoles and people were soon covered with coconut cream. Some which were rather intact wound up being thrown back at the Teletubbies, and soon an all out war broke out before the creatures transported out. "What was that all about," wondered the major as he turned to Dr. Smith. "Are you all right?" He looked at the man and groaned, holding his arm, which he'd sprained. "Yes, but it appears I was injured in the fracas." "I thought that was in the foot," came the girls simultaneously. The robot said "ha, and you thought I'd deliver that punch line." "Never mind that, you bucket of bolts," complained the doctor, "let's just get this ship up and running." Suddenly, more pies started coming at them from the aliens' ship, though most were going toward Voyager and Gilliagan's ship. "Oh, no, we'll be hit in the crossfire!" Smith jerked the ship to the right. "Now, that's's in the foot," joked Will as the crew lurched about. On board Voyager, Janeway asked Naomi to remain so they could iron out the problems. "Captain," reported Tuvok, "one hundred of those aliens have beamed on board this ship." He looked down at his computer console and quickly glanced back up. "And they are each carrying several pies." "Find out what they want. Hail them." Several Teletubbies stepped out of the lift onto the bridge. "Hail, hail, the gang's all here," cheered Kim, "we're gonna beat that old team tonight!" He turned to the captain and said "that's not what you meant by hailing, huh?" He got a pie thrown in his face. "You dservered that, Ensign. What are you doing with those pies?" "Those can't be pies," remarked Tom Paris. With a look of concern as the aliens threw pies at people, Janeway asked "why not?" "Because," came the wisecrack, "they're round, and pi R sqaured." Janeway walked up to a red teletubby and said "give me one of those," as she took from him. She then hurled it at Tom, hitting him square in the face. As the pies flew around the bridge, Tuvok stood straight and asked while being splattered "would you please stop throwing your pies; you are damaging the bridge." B'Elanna reported from engineering that "we're getting peppered with pies down here, too." Seven remarked stoicly as she got hit with a couple of pies that "I presumed practically one purely got peppered with pepper, or perhaps with pickled peppers, not pies." "Try saying that five times fast," remarked Naomi. "Are you kidding," came 7, "it took me four takes to say it once slow." Just as quickly as the pie assault began, it was over. As the consoles, viewscreen, and people were cleaned off, Chakotay said "thank goodness that's over." "Think again." Janeway walked toward the viewscreen, noticing a large blob coming out of the ship. "What is it?" Tuvok ran several scans. "It appears to be one humongous coconut cream pie." "Shields up!" Just as the went up, the pie, which was half the size of Voyager, went "splat" right in the front of the ship. The captain shook her head. "Naomi...tell them we surrender." The girl stared at the empty captain's chair as Janeway went into her ready room to clean the stuff from several pies off of her uniform. She finally sat in it, shook a finger toward the viewscreen, and broadcast to the alien vessel "you go in the corner for a nice, long timeout!" "I don't suppose this is the time to ask how we're going to get the stuff off the FRONT of our windshield, is it?" remarked Kim. Tom, finally cleaning the pie off his face, shook his head. "Although I'd like to suggest we could ride through a meteor shower to clean off." Suddenly, the captain peeked out of her ready room off the bridge. "Ensign Paris?" He looked toward Janeway. "Yes?" A pie suddenly hit him in the face. As the rest of the bridge crew broke out in fits of laughter, the captain explained. "I had one left. Just in case." Captain's Log, Stardate - sometime around noon Friday. We're finally getting the mess cleaned off our viewscreen, though the pies messed up our consoles so much we couldn't navigate, and wound up coming out of the womhole the same way we came in. Oh, well, at least we had enough Magic Reset Buttons. "Do you want the honor," Janeway asked Nomi as they stood around a large red button seemingly attached to nothing. "What does this do?" Seven explained that "we would not have the power to waste water on all of our portals and windows. However, by using the Magic Reset Button, that allows us to do so." "We use it pretty often, but this is the first time someone other than Seven or myself has done it." The girl presed it. "Cool!" "You know," Tom remarked, "I can't help but wonder what happened to those other two ships." The Jupiter had continued to fly around aimlessly inside the wormhole for a while, finally crashing on a planet in the wormhole, where the Teletubbies put them to work for several years before letting them go back to Earth. As for the other ship.... "...3...2...1...splashdown," remarked Gilligan. "What did we just do," inquired the Skipper. "You put us right next to the Hawaiian islands, didn't you?" "Well..." They looked around them - the ship around them had disappeared, thanks to Q, and now it was just an island again. "No, I guess the pies they threw at us messed up our navigation." "Oh, those pies, Gilligan, why did you ever suggest giving them pies to begin with?!" The Skipper fumed. Back on Voyager, Naomi was eating dessert. Neelix had just handed her a piece of coconut cream pie, but she quickly turned away from it. "I thought you liked to eat coconut cream pie," her astonished mother said. "Oh, to eat," Naomi said, picking up her fork. "That's okay. I thought we were gonna start throwing em at each other again." Ensign Wildman looked quizzically at Neelix, who shrugged.