That's the way football games should be played: outdoors, on grass and the uniform covered in grass & dirt stains, with snow falling. Dome teams are 0-10 in championship games. The initial goal of the Bears this season was getting to the Super Bowl, due to the pathetic state of the NFC. The Bears needed a strong showing against the Saints, and the Defense certainly stepped up. Now it’s just a matter if it’s against the choking Colts or a rematch of Super Bowl XX. Of course, I wasn’t planning on watching the Super Bowl, but now I will have to, since my Bears are in it. We certainly won’t have any Bear Weather advantage in Miami, but Rex has played in Florida enough times. Bears in the Super Bowl for the 1st time since January 1986! Da’ Bearzzzzzzzzzzzz!

This will be updated accordingly.

1st qtr: Field conditions are a factor: lots of slipping on the fresh new sod field. So far advantage to Bears defense. No snowing during the game so far.

1st qtr: Bears missed a huge opportunity when Brees got hit and the ball came lose and went back 25 yards. Stupid Bear tried to pick up the ball with all of his momentum moving forward. You're supposed to fall on top of the ball in that situation. Play resulted in costing the Bears about 30-40 yards of field position. Next drive after that resulted in a short punt.

1st qtr: Rex already airing it out. 0-4 for far.

1st qtr: Saints FUMBLE!!! Vesher takes it down the sideline for 14 yards!

1st qtr: Nice, 3rd and short, running reverse play. Bears running heavy run game. Called P.A. fake, 4 yard pass. 1-5 Rex. Bears call T.O. Bears going for it on 4th-and-1, on the 4. 1st down!

1st qtr: Gould kicks 13 yrd field goal. 3-0 Bears. Very disappointing drive. 4 plays inside the 5 and couldn't score. Should have run on 3rd down.

1st qtr: Saints FUMBLE kickoff!!! Bears recover! Saints challenge. Knee was down. Wow.. call stands!! on the N.O. 30!

2nd qtr: Benson loses footing on 3rd-and-short. Gould hits 43-yrd field goal. 6-0 Bears.

2nd qtr: Offensive passing interference penalty hinders Saints drive. Hester returned punt into Saints territory at the 49.

2nd qtr: Grossman hits Clark down the field for 30 yards. RZ.

2nd qtr. 4th and goal, 5 yards to go. Gould hits 24 yrd field goal. 9-0 Bears. Disappointing drive.

2nd qtr. Jones runs up the middle for 14 yrds. Jones runs to the right for 30 yrds. RZ. Jones picks up 8 yrds. 1st and goal at the 10. Jones to the right for 8, 2nd & goal at the 2. Jones 7 rushes for 67 yards on drive. TOUCHDOWN Bears! Jones 9-69 yds on drive. 16-0 Bears.

2nd qtr: TD Saints. 73 yrd drive. 16-7 Bears.

Halftime: Rex 3-13, 37 yrds, 0 INT, 0 TD. Bears will recieve in 3 qtr.

3rd qtr: Rex hits Berrian for 17 yrds. Rex airs it out on 1st down. incomplete. 3rd & long. another airout. 4th down.

3rd qtr: Illegal block penalty on recieving team brings back N.O. 36yrd punt return. 1st & 10 on their own 7.

3rd qtr: Bullsh*t Bush TD 88 yrd pass. 16-14 Bears.

3rd qtr: N.O. kickoff goes out of bounds at 11. Penalty. 1st & 10 at 40. PNT.

3rd qtr: N.O. Field goal attempt 47-yrd. Miss. 16-14 Bears.

3rd qtr: Rex airs out. Incomplete. PNT. Goes out of bounds at the Saints 5.

3rd qtr: INTENTIONAL GROUNDING penalty on the Saints!!! 2-point Safety for Bears! 18-14. That's HUGE.

4th qtr: TOUCHDOWN Bears!! On a Saints blitz, Rex airs it out on a 33 yrd catch on a tumbling backwards Berrian into the endzone. 25-14 Bears. 85 yrd drive. Bears finally passing after Saints figured out the run during Halftime.

4th qtr: Brees hit!! FUMBLE!! Call ruled incompletion. CHALLENGE!!! Ogunleye had recovered!!! CALL REVERSED!!! Bears ball on the N.O. 28!

4th qtr: TOUCHDOWN Bears!! 2nd & 6, handoff ot Benson, runs up the middle 12 yards. 32-14 Bears.

4th qtr: INTERCEPTION Bears!!!!! Vasher inctercepts Brees on 2nd down on Bears 39. 1st and 10 Bears. Bears with 0 turnovers & 0 penalties.

4th qtr: There's the dagger: 7:28 left. Brees smacked down & a intentional ground penalty on 3rd down. 4th & 13. INCOMPLETE. Bears take over on down, with great field position on the N.O. 31.

4th qtr: Note: Bears Safety was the momentum changing play of the game, put the Bears up by 4.

4th qtr: Jones runs for 14 yards on 3rd and long! 1st down Bears.

4th qtr: Jones reverses run route and TOUCHDOWN Bears!!! 39-14 Bears!!!

4th qtr: Bears INTERCEPT!!  4:31 left, and the Bears run out the clock. Final: 39 Bears, Saints 14.  BEARS GO TO THE SUPER BOWL!!!!

It's been a slow week. Once again the stupid local sports section was plastered with Rex Grossman stories, which are a complete bore to read and were ignored. As for the woman dying from the "Hold your wee for a Wii" contest, as the pure stupidity of our modern society proves, I have never seen a console cause so much disarray and stupidity in my life (re: wiihaveaproblem.com). I’m glad those DJs and those involved are getting legal action taken on them, because they need a good dose of Karma and reality. Any smart person should know that drinking too many electrolytes will kill you. Now these kids get to grow up without a mother, and the only reason they’ll have to tell is “she died for a then-not-obsolete piece of technology”.

Along with more modern stupidity of people trying to multitask/clutter up their lives with more distracting technology (i.e. iPhone) or the fact that it’s too much to ask people to literally pay attention to the road while they’re driving in their vehicles & not talk on the phone, fidle with the radio, eat. Along with these towns and cities trying to ban smoking in bars & restaurants, along these idiots saying it’s not hurting business, which is total b.s. (local Tinley Park instituted a smoking ban & businesses are down 40% to 60%. Other local news reports concurred Chicago's smoking ban is hurting businesses, tho not as high).

Boycotting an establishment is a lot easier than actually physically going there. Each day somebody is trying to revoke our rights and privileges. Along with the media trying to tact on sentimentality that the New Orleans Saints are the real favorites on Sunday over the Bears, solely because of Hurricane Katrina. You know if the Saints go to the Super Bowl, it's going to be all about the city of New Orleans. But the news and media is in a pathetic state, like I’m supposed to care about a dog that ran on the freeway in Missouri, or if Whitney Houston’s house is up for sale. Don’t try to manipulate us with sentimentality. Just give us the news.

And finally, 1” to 3” of snow is predicted for Bears game tomorrow afternoon, and the Saints being a dome team and all, I’m sticking with my previous weather prediction of 17-10 Bears. And this is including a messy Rex, a slowed-down Saints offense and a Bears Defense – Special Teams contributing 7 to 14 points on the board.

Nice, I used an NCAA Basketball term for an NFL game. Tho of course, as in favorite sports, I'd rank them: MLB, NBA, NCAAB, NACCF, NFL. I don't consider myself a prototypical NBA guy, tho more of a mid 1980s type. Tho I watch way more football than basketball, I tend to enjoy the hoops more.

Now how do I feel about the Bears being in the NFC Championship game? Now Chicago is absolutely rabid about the Bears. No team seems to draw in more Chicago fans, not even the Cubs. But how do I feel about the 2006 Bears? I don't know what happened, but somewhere along the midseason, probably Week 10, I lost the confidence in this team, and was ready for the playoffs to start. I personally have little to no faith in Rex Grossman, he's basically still a rookie. Of course the Tank Johnson thing took out all the feel-goodness of the team. There is no way the '85 Bears had those kinds of issues. Personally I find their 14-3 record incredibly soft: they played the easiest schedule in the NFL (don't know how that happened, especially since they went 11-5 last year) and pretty much just cut myself off emotionally from the team. Which I guess is good because if they lose, I won't care.

Can they beat the Saints? I don't know. They have the #1 ranked offense and the Bears still just barely beat the Seahawks, who were deemed depleted and weak. And I believe the upset of the year already happened, with the Pats beating the Chargers. I figured it'd be a Chargers /Bears Super Bowel (heheh typo) early in the season, and little Tommy "Concussioned" Waddle predicted a possible Super Bowl XX rematch, probably basing it on that Peyton 'Big and Dumb' Manning is a huge playoff choker, and he wasn't that great either against the Ravens (15-30, 170 yds, 0 TD, 2 INT, 39.58 passer rating). I predicted a 27-13 Seahawk win, tho they were pretty close to that, but the Bears offense got it done somehow. I just can't get excited, knowing that if they don't lose next week, they'll lose in 3 weeks (another thing I hate about the NFL is 2-week layoffs, this is ridiculous) and I have this mentality of "you get in the playoffs, you are expected to go all the way", and I just don't feel they can do it, especially against a superior AFC. The weather could be a factor for Sunday's Saints / Bears game. If it is, I say 17-10 Bears, and if its not, I say 27-13 Saints.

As somebody once (probably most likely me) said, "The higher you climb, the harder you fall."

Boy I am just disgusted with SNL these days.  I'm really getting sick and tired of all the lame, unoriginal, trendy bits on the show.  I am getting to the point where I'm just going to walk away.  I'm sick of all the bad hosts, the crappy music guests (tho that's just the idiots who make the crappy music), the stupid skits which are written with only the writer's background in mind - typical improv sh*t that shouldn't make its way to network television.  Seriously, Most of the cast is a group I wouldn't want to hang out with.  I don't know how to tell Maya Rudolph, but her Whitney Houston character is not a gift from God to us.  You just think it's funny, but it's nowhere near the caliber you make it out to be.  Quite honestly, a lot of the skits Maya are in are completely awful.  And somebody please tell me how pretty much an identical version of Laser Cats 2 is funny?  While the current cast has a big heart, they just don't have the talent and cannot write worth a crap.  I also think that after each show, it gets harder and harder to make decent material.

The show wouldn't miss me if I walked away, but I'm having a harder time than ever trying to spread the good name of SNL.  It's starting to make me feel like I'm some weird isolated Trekie or something.  And as for Jeremy Piven hosting next week, (who screamed out intoxicated profanity towards a Wrigley Field crowd before singing Take Me Out To the Ballgame & giving an awkward Bottom of the 7th inteview during a day game last summer, tho the matter of the Cubs fans being deserving of the lashing is another topic)  I'd rather have John Cusack host.  

I can't even find a word to describe my state.

I caught the last half an hour of the PBS special The Second City, where I found a mid-1980s Mike Myers aka Wayne Campbell talking about hard rock bands and their names from his LP's. So on and so forth, other Second City actors talking about their experiences, who met who, who taught what to who, etc.

And then, flash forward to the mid 90s in Chicago. Then there was the improv pair of Chiwawa and Scarface Bulldyke, aka Rachael Dratch & Tina "I suck" Fey. Tina Fey in all her size 12-shorthair bulldykeness, improv-ing in another unfunny sketch. I'm sorry (tho I'm really not) but she is not funny at all. She is not funny. She is full of herself. Shame on all of you who laughed at her improv.

And then there's the moment when Joe Flaherty said something that made me want to puke my very being: "In 2005 Tina Fey signed a $4 million deal with NBC..."

I seriously wanted to choke myself and puke my guts out. I hated the world for it. You gotta be ******* kidding me. That amount of money... for that sorry sack of... I just wanted to die. I'm clipping coupons and this wench is a millionaire??? That's just... that's... something. I'm gonna puke me a river. No, an ocean. I'm going to puke me an ocean.

Tho otherwise, another thing I realized is that even tho I've wanted to be in the Second City most of my life, I realize I don't have enough talent to pull that off. So today Sweetcheeks, another dream dies and another chip on the old shoulder. It's okay, tho. I don't mind the chip. I got big shoulders and there's plenty of room.

P.S. cancel 30 Rock.

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/stairway.php

"oh here's to my sweet Satan. The one whose little path would make me sad, whose power is Satan. He'll give you give you 666. There was a little toolshed where he made us suffer, sad Satan."

And of course, this:
01/21/95: David Hyde Pierce / Live

Tales of Little Women
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/94/94klittle.phtml

The whole season would be worth buying just for that sketch. Tho it would be cheaper to buy the skit.

Oh Wikipedia, you're the devil! Amiss more endless hours of Wiki surfing, I came across this link to "backward messages in music"

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/stairway.php

One of the great things about rock n' roll, is not only do the artists make money doing it, they also have the power to put subliminal messages that can be heard while being played backward. Now I've listened to "Stairway to Heaven" about 500,000 times since I first heard it in 1995, but I never heard it like that backwards! Unless Robert Plant is a pronunciation genius, there's no other explanation for the bizarre current lyrics (yes yes I know, Tolkien and all that crap)

And the part in the end kills me. The mention of a toolshed & Satan. Reminds me of a mid 1990s SNL sketch w/ Chris Farley where he kept falling in the water.

And there's another one, with Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust". When played backwards, makes a Mary Jane reference. Damn hard rockers and their hippie lettuce.

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/queen.php

I’ll have to make my own noise.

Top 10 favorite shows of 2006:

1. The Office. If you asked me last year of which of the Thursday night comedies I liked better, it would had be ‘Earl’. But the Office is much better & more funnier than Earl now. Prediction: Michael Scott will bankrupt the company somehow, and Jan will somehow die thanks to Michael. Thrown in for good measure.
2. Family Guy. I don’t understand all this criticism of the show, season 4 wasn’t as bad as people made it out to be. And it’s still one of the very few shows that makes me literally laugh.
3. Frasier reruns.
Frank: “Very pretty name. Do people call you Daffy for short?”
Daphne: “Not twice.”
And why did I pick that random quote? I hadn’t heard that in probably 10 years.
4. Scrubs & reruns. I think there’s a little bit of the Janitor in all of us. And remember, Bob Kelso is an awful, awful man. He is the devil. Prediction: This is the last season of Scrubs.
5. American Dad. Despite Seth’s sarcastic take on a Republican character, it still has its moments. And have you seen Seth’s sister who voices Hayley? She’s a little porker.
6. King of the Hill reruns. This show isn’t as amusing once you’ve seen it the 20th time.
7. My Name Is Earl. For some reason this show has been really underwhelming in its 2nd season. I think this show may have peaked too soon.
8. House. I really don’t like medical image-heavy shows, but this show is just amusing besides of House, is that these medical conditions are just so extremely implausible. Prediction: House will end up curing cancer and AIDS.
9. Hell’s Kitchen. A distant memory, this summer pick-up is always a pleaser.
10. Wow, this is sad. I had to look at my list of favorites and couldn’t find a 10th show. So I'm just going to put 'all those cooking shows I watch on the PBS stations.'.

For all the time I spend on this site, I really don’t watch that many shows.

Top 10 favorite music things in 2006:
1. Jazz
2. Jazz
3. Jazz
4. Jazz
5. Jazz
6. Jazz
7. Jazz
8. Jazz
9. Jazz
10. Jazz

Did I mention I can only tolerate Jazz? I must be getting old, I can't stand that crap they put on the FM radio these days. You kids are gonna give yourself brain aneurysms listening to that crap.

Top 10 books of 2006.

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

I don't read books. Books kill trees. And books are too expensive. And books suck.

What I re-discovered:
the absolute brilliance of 'Frasier'. After initial Frasier burnout which has been experienced since the late 90s, recently watching the 1st season of this show would absolutely destroy any competition today.
'Scrubs'. Dr. Cox & the Janitor are two of the funniest characters I have ever seen in my life. Thank you NBC for running 2 episodes per week & showing it twice in syndication every single day. However, F-U NBC for taking off my CSNL.
Bowling. Soured by this years ago from its expensive stupid Cosmic bowling prices, bowling is actually quite cheap when you find an older alley that doesn't have all that modern crap, you invest in your own bowling shoes (wise for sanitary & comfort reasons) and you don't go during peak hours or Cosmic bowling. I still suck, tho. But my average did go up 30 pins.
Vodka. "You say 'potato', I say 'vodka'."
'Hell's Kitchen'. Ah, combining two of my favorite things to watch on TV: food and rage.

What I discovered:
'House'. Unlike 'Bones', House is fun.
'Bones'. see above.
a number more of vocal impressions I can add to my resume.
There is a LOT of trans-fat everywhere.
I actually enjoy cooking & making up my own recipes.
expensive store brand soup is (if not literally) identical to the expensive name brand soups, citing advertisement drives up the cost of the name brands. Soon to proven fact, tho.
Kraft blue box macaroni pasta absolutely not edible anymore. You might as well dump the noodles and add your own.
I like stupid NBC primetime game shows.

What I realized:
SNL, is actually worse than it was last year. Tho not for *that* reason. It was unwatchable last year for *that* reason, but this year it's because the writing is awful. The show's writing in general is awful.
I love those big $4 football-sized burritos. How I kick myself for all those 2 years i wasted eating at Taco Hell
Women are changing their hair color way too much these days
Sheryl Crow has an absolutely horrible voice that makes me cringe. Seriously. Everytime i hear that awful "winding road" song, I want to pop my ear drums. It is seriously awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful. I never thought a female voice could cause someone so much pain.
Dr. Bob Kelso is an awful, awful man. He is the devil.
The moderating state of Tv.com is in a horrendous state.
cheap beer tastes like ****. Totally not ever worth it.

What 2006 was:
It was a wet and warm year.
Year of the 1st beard.
Year of the burrito
Disappointment that my White Sox didn't make the playoffs.
A terrible year for Illinois politics. Can we elect some people who aren't corrupt as hell??
Another year of refusing to conform to the modern world & its technology.

What 2007 will be:
the canceling of The War At Home
the end of The King of Queens
a probable banning from at least one website
the year DLS better find its ass to my house. I'm sick of this dial-up crap.
death of the multi-camera studio audienced / horribly written traditional sitcom
More strengthen training for bowling