Finished the last two Walking Dead books....Bought groceries. Practiced on my new harmonica! Yes, I said harmonica!! I got one, haha :) Not easy, but fun to try =D

Anyways, haven't gotten around to playing any more God of War. I really don't like the camera angles in it....But I like the game pretty good... Been feeling really off today, well yesterday too. I just feel like crap, period. Don't feel like doing anything really.. Trying not to get back into my hermit phase, but it's not easy..

Hung out with some friends last night, played uno and it got pretty intense haha....

Really wanting to play Silent Hill, listening to the soundtracks makes me crave the game itself......I'm not sure how much game playing I'll be doing considering my wrist wont stop hurting..Hurts everytime I use my hand, it's awful :( But it's all good :)

Never did get around to playing Final Fantasy, and haven't read any more of The Wallflower ...Been thinking about it, but it's whatever right now..... My friend showed me this app on his phone where he has a list of like every manga and can read em on his phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want that effin phone! It's kind of awesome....Would make it a heck of alot eassier than reading them online and all that jazz...

I really wish I could get out of this funk I'm in, I have no clue what the hell my issue is...I mean, I sort of know but I'd rather not say on here..... Guess some stuff ya gotta keep to urself huh..

I wish O' Brother Where Art Thou would go off already, I wanna watch Fight Club :) Wouldn't mind reading the book again, would make it the third time if I do! If you like reading then read Chuck Palahniuks books, I've read alot of them and the stories are really good...Some of them are a bit strange but man are they good...Only one I was weirded out by was when they made Choke into a movie haha..Never seen the movie but I've read the book...

Here's a list of my top five favorite movies:

1. Dreamcatcher : Stephen King is one of my favorite authors and I love his movies.

2.Fight Club: Same goes for Chuck, his stuff is awesome..

3. Sleepers: Really hard movie to watch often, but it's really good.

4.The Craft: I don't know why but I always loved this movie.

5. O' Brother Where Art Thou: Love this movie...

Well, that's all for today :) I'll be taking some time away from the computer for a few days may be back on Monday, maybe not....But either way leave some love =D

Peace, Love, Berly

Ok. Sooooo.....I started playing God of War... And let me tell ya when that hydra monster pops in the first time I just about pissed myself. Gah.. Hahaha and my reaction was "OH SH**" bahahaha Was pretty funny..And the Madusa, well she was a pain in my bum. For serious. But it's cool though cuz now I can turn people to stone :)Umm.. Yeah, I kept messing up on the part where dude has to 'you know' with those two girls...And oh my word, having to redo that listening to that over and over just about made my ears bleed..lol I was sooo happy when I was done, but then Sarah was like ' I wanna try." haha so I had to listen to it again 3 more times...... And killing the Hydra monser sucked cause the o button didnt want to work right when I needed it.. Oh well I got through it.. I had to quit so they could watch tv and my head was hurting.... I like killing the monsters though :) thats always fun!

Watched a movie called Charley Bartlett, it was alright....

I'm about to go read the last two Walking Deads and then find something in one of Sarah's bookshelves to start on since the tv has been taken over. Thinkin about reading the book Monster by Frank Peretti..Been about a month since I've read any novels or anything like that.. It's about due time. Got an interview in the morning then thinkin about going with Sarah out of town for the day. If I didn't live so far I'd ask my friend to hang out with me instead but thats probably a negative....Even though I'd love to watch Lucky Star or go hang with my sister and get out of the house again, it probably ain't happening tomorrow,...And I def. don't want my sister complaining all day about retarded crap again so yeah I might just go with Sarah or just stay at the house and play God of War or start on something else... Besides it sucks not havin a car to drive myself around. I feel bad asking people to hang out knowing I don't have my own transportation so I probably wont hang out with anyone else until I do have a working car..Unless some one just ups an asks I'm not lol...

Sarah and I had a good conversation about what it really means to miss someone, and what it means ifyou miss someone who you know that you see often but miss them when they are gone. Well, I definately don't know how to respond to that because there's this person I know, don't see them that often, but I think about them always. It drives me crazy and pisses me of because I don't even like this person like that. Sarah says you can subconsciencely like someone and not know it. She said that you can feel something in your heart and another way in your mind. And if thats the case then how the crap do you get them both at the same spot? Anywho.....Guess I've been missing alot of people these days.... It's no fun..

Listened to a few songs from the Silent Hill soundtracks two and three today. Sarah asked what I was listening to and I told her..It sort of soothes my mind.. Gets my mind outta the gutter, and I don't mean it that way either... I've just had lots on my mind and I realized something the other day that has had me really in the dumps lately.... I don't know how to react to it and to be honest it scared the hell outta me... I also realized that you can lie to a person with out realizing it....

Anywho, I slept most of teh day away, guess my body needed to catch up on sleep. And that bed is so darn comfortable I could lay in it forever.

My sister will be 9 months ina fewweeks..Which means I'll be an aunt again... I'm excited and at the same time worried. For her I mean..Anyways most everyone I know is eitherpregnant, already got kids, or trying... And here I am, 22, single, jobless, and no potential anythings. I used to say I never wanted to get married and now I regret it, because I do. And I'd like to have children of my own. I mean my brother already is married and has a baby. And I was supposed to be next. I hate feeling like that, but goodness my sister is in no shape to have a kid, she's not married or has a job or anything. And her boyfriend has a crap job.. But it's whatever. Sometimes I feel like I'm hoping, and asking for too much but I've gotten used to thinking that some people just aren't meant to be with someone. (Bahaha Sarah is watching Back to teh Future and shes in tho ther room has no idea what I'm typing and just said this to me' Berly, if George McFly can get married I think anyone has a chance to get married" anyways lol that was funny.... But seriously I'm having a hard time believing that there's some one out there for me. Oh well though, I don't usually think about this kind of stuff but here lately it's really getting to me. But I guess theres a reasonwhy peoplesay waiting is worth it. I just don't want to spend my life waiting for something that might not happen.Besides afterall thats happened, I think I can wait....

Well, I'm about to go drown myself in The Walking Dead and then a book after that if I finish them tonight....

Peace,Love,Berly

Well, that was fun :) Just watched The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya..And here are my thoughts on it.

I liked it alot better than I thought I would. I could definately watch it again.And I think I really like it....

Onto other things.. I am definately wore out from such a long day. Tomorrow might be even longer, too bad I don't have a special power with warp speed then I could zap right through it right into Friday. But the one super power that I think that would be a curse as well as useful would be mind reading. Don't you ever wish you could read a persons mind? Wish you knew how they really felt about you, and what they really think of you? I do allll the time. Then I think we wouldn't waste so much time of our lives wondering and trying to please people when they really hate you..lol But honestly, I dont care what most people think of me. I've realized that when it comes down to it, i doesn't matter. And there is no point in stressing, making yourself sick trying to be everything someone else wants you to be. If you don't like who I am as a person, well you know where the door is. Another cool power I think, would be time travel...But I'm sure it would mess with your brain kinda like Hiro's power in Heroes.....

Anyways, there are only a small number of people that I care about what they think.....And you know what? It drives me effin crazy! I wish people would just be straight up honest with you and say what they mean.

Really wishing right about now that my CD player didn't die. I want to listen to music sooo bad......I don't want to think anymore and I know that music usually drowns out the thoughts :)Besides I'm really craving my Devil Wears Prada CD......Oh well...I'll live.

I'm eating a baked potato :) It's gross lol Baked Potato and Saltine Crackers.... Yay me.....Tonight didn't suck at all so why do I feel so stinking grumpy? Maybe the lack of sleep or something but I feel kind of blah...

Thinking about playing one of Sarahs Final Fantasy games tomorrow night.....Just depends...

Well kids...I'm all out of words and I think I've bored you enough....Time for bed....

Peace,Love,Friends

Berly =D

What's up chicken butts?!?

=D Welp, I officially hate job hunting. Because it's NOT fun. At All!!

I went and hung out with some friends the other night and it was kinda fun... Been awhile since I've been in a group of people that big. It's nice to be back though. Been getting up around 7 and 8 am to go job hunting...Which will wear a person down and make them tired. Job hunting owns me right now..lol

Stupid sleep. stupid lack of sleep. I don't know how I do it, but somehow I manage to sleep a few hours a night and still be able to get up and get out there filling out all those horrid applications.

I haven't been out walking or runing in a few days. Makes me feel kinda crappy but it's all good :)

Been thinking alot about my future and what to do career wise. I think I know what I'm going to do. And it won't be easy... But by goodness I'm going to try.

Finally get to read the last two books in The Walking Dead :) I read most of them awhile ago just didn't have a chance to finishe them because well the last one just came out not that long ago and I don't own them. But my friend does!! Yay me! And sinch apparentally I read at super speed, says my friend, well it won't take me long at all to read the last two :)

Thinking about rereading Deathnote.......I really like it so I might just do that too. Just cause I can.

Is it weird that I've never actually seen The Matrix Movies?

Sorry this blog isn't that long I just don't know what to say yet and don't have that much time since I'm about to leave =D So yeah.......

That's all.

Peace, Love, Berly

Yay!!!! I'm home!! Hellz yeah!! haha

So,I just played Band Hero for 2 hours and 30 minutes with my friend sarah..I am def. not the biggest fan of it, yes its kind of fun, but the songs are crap! I only saw one I really liked and it was A Million Ways by Ok Go.....Lets justs say the songs kinda suck, my opinion. Ew! Taylor Swift is on there...I threw up in my mouth... If I wanted to hear whiny girls singing about their high school bull crap I'd turn onthe radio...I wanted to play Guitar Hero, but nooo she suggested Band Hero.. Let's just say I'm a bigger fan of Rock Band, even though I'm not so good at it.. Anyways we kind of played til I cried from the pain in my wrists :( Not cool..lol Not cool, at all...My dad said its carpel tunnel, I hope its not..

I got soo excited when I got back, and espescially since I've been with out games in for like..EVER Let's just say my friends have a stack of games for their ps3 and xbox 360!! Oh the excitement, may have wet myself..Bahahahah just kidding..

That really was a joke...

It feels sooooooooooo good to be home :)

I finished Bioshock on my phone, and was dissapointed that it ended so soon. I must say that, that's one game I do want to play for real. And the same goes for Assasins Creed :)

I'm getting nowhere on Prince of Persia, because it won't save my stuff. There's not even a save button so that game was def. not worth getting on my phone. It pisses me off...lol

Haven't read anymore of The Wallflower, as I haven't had time and I'm getting tired of reading it online.....

...That was strange.. haha my friend sarah just walked into the living room (she was in bed w/ her hubby) put on chapstick and went back in the room.. hahahahahaha weird..lol

We did have an interesting chat on the 3 hour drive here :) Some how we got on the talk of drinking..lol And drinking and stuff it might lead to .. lol I have no clue why we always end up having conversations like this but i'm almost absolutely sure that me & Sarah have had that converstaion more than once. And it's always the same lol..

The bad thing is I had to cut the converstaion short, only because I don't want talking about it to lead to temptation.... I haven't had a drink since..Well, since I was with David and Lord knows it's better for me to stay away from all that crap.. Isn't that part of the reason I came here? I mean I dont cry at night anymore, no drinking, and I know that if I'm here I won't want to because I have a huge support group of friends that wouldn't allow it.. Grief most of them would kill me if they knew I had been drinking :( Def, not a proud point in my life but I was at the bottom of the bottom, and I didn't care. I didn't want to feel anything, and numbing the heartache and pain with temporary fixes seemed to make things better.. But Thank You Jesus you helped me see straight! Can't say I don't think about it but, I am strong enough to say no :) Which is more than I can say for most people. Same goes for cutting, I havent done that in years and I dont want to.. Talk about some crazy things that God has brought people out of.. I'm def. not perfect but i'm trying to better myself, and my life. I'm trying to make things right before I run out of time..

Which means, no more crap. And no more Davids. I'm ok with it just being me for awhile... I def. dont need to make anymore mistakes, and I'm thankful to have someone who loves me enough to fight for me everyday and through every struggle I might face...

I get to see my sister tomorrow!! That should be fun :) Gotta get up @ 8:30 to go job hunting and take my car to the shop :) Sarah handed me the key today!! Yay! And thenmore job hunting all week, and hanging out with my friends( sort of) at least some of them...

They don't know it, but I'd be near lost if they weren't in my life. They have helped me through sooo much. I'm so thankful to have friends like that =D

Welp, if anyone did read my retardedness, thanks..I guess? haha

Peace,Love,Freedom

Berly

1. NEW camera!!!!!

2. Friday was an awesome day :)

3. In love.

4. I'm a happy girl and your about to find out why =D

I got Assasins Creed, Bioshock, and Prince of Persia on my chellular!!!

Loving Assasins Creed so far. I have completed 3 missions, killed my first boss, and got pass the first bonus round =D

Right now my target is Vizier Abull Aswad. In the city of Masyaf. I've completed the missions in the city of Acre. Had a little trouble with a few things, being as my phone is a little awkward to play. I'm not used to the buttons and all that jazz.

Bioshock. I like it, but Im very frustrated with it right now. I'm kind of stuck because I have to hack into this thing to open a door. Well, it's a puzzle that you have to align the pipes so the fluid can flow through and well, I'm pretty sure I"ve tried every way possible but I'm doing somthing wrong. I've tried like 20 times and I'm giving up and going to find a walkthrough..... I'm a cheater :( But the Silent Hill game I had on my phone was near impossible to play unless you had a walk through. I can say that I am VERY satisfied with all the enemies I get to kill in the three games i just got.. The SH game had ONE monster. That's it. I was SUPER dissapointed in it.

Prince of Persia, well it's forgettable. Every time I play it after I play theother two I don't remember it at all. I like it alright but The order I like them are

1. Assasins Creed

2. Bioshock

3. Prince of Persia

Next games I'm thinking about getting on my cell is COD Warefare2 And Sabotuer... It'd be AWESOME if I could get Heavy Rain but if it will be available it will take awhile...

They are sort of like little demos or something compared to the xbox and ps3 versions.... But I'm happy with what I got, it gives me some playing time...I just wish Assasins Creed was unlimited instead of only a month subscription, I should have gotten the unlimited. But then again who knew Id like it this much?? I LOVERS IT =D

Onto other things, I'm leaving TOMORROW!!!! Yay! I'm going to attempt torecord my trip too :)

So I was on my way to Walmart at 3am with my step madreright? Well we're cruisin along and all of a sudden this guy jumps out in front of us!!! Flailing his arms like a crazy white person haha... My heart and stomache hit the pavement lemme tell ya! We swerved and didnt hit him, Thank You Jesus! But seriously, like can you say heart attack? That's exactly what I need, to be an accomplice to road kill...lol

I watched 12 Monkeys today! Definately qualifies for my top ten faves... Always has :)

Well, I guess thats it for now.. I'll post more on my progress on my chellular games after I play some more and get a little farther...I"m gunna upload a feww pics, try to upload a vid, so if it works go check em out :)

Peace, Love, Berly

It's 2:08 am. After staying up for 28+ hours I FINALLY fell asleep, but it didn't last long. I got 5 hours of sleep. Yay me :) I've been awake now for 3 hours and I'm ready to go right back to bed after I wash the dishes.

I went for an hour and a half walk, which felt amazing! Yay for excercise haha...

All my packing is finished! Yay! Well, you know with the exception of the last minute things. Went through all my old papers and guess what I found!?! My Warland comics! And my japanese comics and some drawings I did long time ago :)

Let me tell you, I'm so happy to find that my Warland comics weren't ruined by mold when the rain leaked into that car. Was such a sad loss, having to throw away my Ascension and The Darkess comics :( They were damaged beyond repair. But it's all good because I now get the joy of going comic shopping to replace them!!

Found some letters my old friend Will wrote me when he left for the Marines. It made me think of Zach, he just left for the Navy. I still have to write to him but writing letters aren't my strong suite...

I feel like I could sleep for days. I hope I don't though because I'm going shopping with my stepsister later :)

My CD player, I've had for 5+ years finally gave out and died :( I gutted it out and it's so cool to see the inside of electronics! So, Lord knows I'll be super tempted to buy a new A. CD Player or B. Mp3 player > Considering I drowned my mp3 player in the bath tub (long story) it was a bigger loss..... A new mp3 player sounds aweful nice....

Junk yard dude took the buick away. Now the driveway looks empty, but heck I'm glad cause I'm 200$ richer now than I was before!! I need to eat something but there isn't food here, and my dad and val are sick. Meaning they won't go anywhere.. Losers..lol Yeah, I'm dehydrated, exhausted, and my poor tummy is lonely... Great day.

At least I can say God is good.

Well, I'm taking a day away from my most recent obsession... Friday will be computer free, and I'll be glad to get out for awhile!

So then :) Not another part to the story just another blog. Welp, Its settled and if I had a stone it would be etched in it! I am going to purchase a harmonica, and by goodness I'm going to 'try' to teach myself how to play. It's keeping me up this hour because for some strange reason thats all I can think about. Call me a weirdo, call me a geek, whatever you call me I'm going to try. And heck, if I fail, well then I fail, no big loss. Been rockin out to The Devil Wears Prada for like hours?! = LOVE. I'd have pulled out my A Day to Remember CD but I was lazy and didnt feel like unpacking it. = BLAH I sketched a little earlier, and guess what!?! My picture came out coolio fo **** I started with a face, as I always do and got this bright idea that after the face (face covers one sheet of paper on my sketch pad) I'd add the top of her head, and after that I ripped out another piece and kept going until I almost had a full body :) I colored her dress and her eyes, taped her together and now she is hanging on my wall. Congratulations to me! I accomplished something! I haven't yet decided if I'll be going to sleep yet, the heartburn says no, my mind says no, my body says yes. Meh, if not I'll just call the junk yard early say bye bye, sianara to my crap car and then head(walk the 30 minutes) to Mcdonalds, my old job, and give Georgia the pictuire I drew for her, after buying a frame for it.... The picture I drew for her was from The Art of the Darkness book, which I do own. Because not only am I awesome , but because I LOVE the art books to comics and games.. The Darkness and Ascension comics are two of my personal favorites to sketch from :) Speaking of comics and such, I was kind of shocked when I heard (awhile ago) that Disney bought Marvel!? Like what the crap, is what I was thinking. My brother said he was scarred and Marvel won't be on his top anymore. But, you know what? Even if the new stuff sucks, which I dont know if it will, the old Marvel still lives in all the old comics and games! Right?? I miss going to the arcade, and spending allll my $ playin Marvel vs Capcom and the racing games and the fighting games... Ha, that wasn't that long ago :) Speaking of, I need to find an arcade soooon!!!! And I"m overdue a visit to the comic book shop. I misses it. See, I've got alot of thinking keeping me awake. Who needs sleep anyway?? Hmm...And I can't wait to get back home so I can play Silent Hill (The first) with my SH buddy! Yay for that! After we get through that one I can say we played The first four. I want to play SH: Origins & Homecoming but I might not be so lucky, we shall see. We shall see :) Btw, I think I have obsessive compulsive disorder when it comes to facebook, myspace, gamespot, pure volume, deviant art, hulu, club pogo, hotmail, ebay, etc sheesh lol.. I go to ALL at least three times a day. Obsessive, OCD I think so...... Maybe I need a therapist lol, it's a good thing I don't smoke. Or drink, or do drug cause I'd be like a chimp on coke, or worse. I'd be like my mom except shes not on coke....Gah let's not go there.... needneedneedneed... OCD Much? Anywho about that harmonica, I'm getting it. I think... So I've been listening to static through my headphones for a good minute, I forgot to put music on!! Welp, I'm done being a tard. Hope ya had fun reading those who read it...lol Peace, Love, Berly

BREE* "Nathan?" Bree screamed for her friend. All she saw was a flash of light and he was gone. His hand no longer in hers. She was in the dark all alone. "Nathan? Where are you? I can't see you!" Bree screamed frantically flailing in the dark, reaching everywhere and finding nothing. "Oh god, what have I done?" She fell to the floor weeping, surrounded in darkness, all alone. Hours passed and Bree lay down holding herself, face dry and cracking from the tears she had run out of. She was alone, her biggest fear that her brother, her best friend would leave her. Lying there she thought of the past back when their parents were still alive. She never thought she'd feel this feeling of fear again that she felt then. She remembered watching as her father hit her mother, and Nathan stepping in trying desperately to pull him off her. Her father throwing Nathan against the table, cracking his head on the corner. She was reliving the fear she thought would never return. Laying here in the darkness, with those things here hunting her, hunting them she knew she couldn't just lay here. Bree decided to suck it in and try, all she could do was try. She picked herself up off the floor and whispered to herself , 'I won't be defeated by this. I'll find Nathan and we'll get out of here together. She started walking with her arms stretched out ahead of her hoping she'd find Nathan before they found her. Nathan* Nathan fell into the flash as soon as the door was opened. He felt Bree's grip loosen and someone elses hand pulled him through the door. All he could see was white. Nothing or no one as the hand let go. "Bree!!" Nathan screamed seeing no one. Then just ahead of him he saw a glimmer of something shiny. It seemed so far away. He walked towards it, finding it farther and farther with each step he started jogging. His jogging turned into a run and finally after what seemed like hours he made it. He came upon a mirror, but his reflection wasn't him. It was a boy, about age seven with cracked lips and grayish skin. His hair was matted down with shiny liquid. The boy reached for the mirror grabbing air as Nathan jumped back. It was then he knew who the boy was. And he knew that the shiny liquid was blood. This boy was in fact him, ten years had passed, but this boy was him at age seven. The broken, bruised boy he used to be. He remembered trying to get his father off his mother as he watched him beat her. He could hear her cries coming from the mirror. Shaking his head he refused to give into this fear. "Is this what you want? to scare us? To put fear in us, well your gunna have to try harder than that! " Nathan screamed at the mirror as his fist went into it cracking it.The mirror lay in pieces at his feet and he saw himself, age seven in every piece as the boy grabbed at his feet through the mirror. Nathan kicked at the pieces and started to run, away from the past. He hoped he was going in the right direction, and he knew he had to find Bree. **Thats all for now....More to come later :)

A short story : Just the beginning: "Where are we?" The walls were covered in red vines that appeared to be on fire. There were windows all around but all they could see were cracks of light shining through. "I GIVE UP!" She screamed at Nathan. Nathan grabbed Brees hand, " Look, we're in this together Bree. We let them in, we did this." "Let me go, I don't want this! Let me out!" She banged on the windows until her knuckles bled, Nathan watched and sat down knowing there was nothing he could do. They sat together waiting for their enemy to come. An hour passed and they were still alone in the darkness. The sun had went down, and all they could hear was their own hearts pounding from inside their chests. Their hearts crying to get out, to be set free from this fear that consumed them. "Maybe they are gone Nathan. Maybe it's ok?" Bree whispered as she clung to Nathan. "No, they want us to run. It's a game that we aren't meant to win Bree." He tried to see her in the darkness, squinting his eyes only seeing black. She started whimpering, and Nathan joined her. Crying together they didn't hear the footsteps in the hall just ahead of them. All of a sudden, a crash and they felt the tiny shards of glass cut through their skin. "Nathan?!? They are here!" Bree cried in pain. "Bree it's ok I can't see but we have to get the glass out or we'll have iinfections. If this game is any way related to reality we could die of sickness just as easy as them cutting our throats." Whispering Bree said, "Shh, Nate whats that?" Then they heard running, but it was running away from them. "Why are they running away Nate?" He didn't know. "Well, we can't sit here forever are you ok? I think they want us to play." He could feel her letting go and standing up. "Nathan, I don't want to play. I want out." She grabbed for is hand as he stood up. "Alright, we'll get out, after we beat this" Feeling their way through the darkness Natans hand ran into a doorknob. Not knowing what was on the other side he opened it, hoping there was light on the other side. ........thats all for now I'll write more later...