The Spring 2006 semester at OC Tech ended today and news flash, I didn't pass all my classes as required by someone on level one academic probation. If I'm looking into this correctly, that means I'm now on level two probation, which means I can't even register for next semester on my own anymore (if I go; it's still up in the air whether I have financial aid this fall). Jeez, what happened? In elementary school I was on the principal's list all the time and even skipped the 3rd grade. And before I knew it, I was repeating the 9th grade and senior year I was in Physical Science with 10th graders. It's not like I had friends to distract me. I like to blame it on living in a rural area (my grandfather used to farm long before I was born and I live on the same spot), but that didn't stop my two cousins, who seemed to bud very nicely (one going to South Carolina, the other living in Columbia yet very dependant on her mother still), as they had slight friendships and jobs to get a little cash on the side. My first job? Work-study at Claflin University behind the Library (oh I'm so sorry, Resource Center) desk. I'm not sure how much it paid since after one semester I enrolled at my mother's alma mater (and current workplace) OC Tech. I left behind one semester's tuition which I'm sure will haunt me later on. Anyway, all this time I never got a license, so I don't drive myself anyplace, so my mother never felt the need to purchase me a vehicle, which leads me to the present: riding around shotgun (or in the back if her sister tags along) in her Nissan Maxima (at least it's not a piece of crap) everytime she goes someplace, and whenever I want something she's either helping me out (my current work-study job doesn't pay a bunch) or outright asking her for it. This brings us to why I don't want to ask anyone out. I may have developed a little more courage, but the realization that I can't really take anyone out scares me. I think this is why I've developed stupid obsessions with things like soap operas and women in general (I roll TiVo back to watch f***ing shampoo/hair color commercials). I hate my current situation, but me being as shy and nervous as I am, I don't see it improving. I've long since gotten over the suicide thing as I know I'm too much of a wimp to really do anything; this has kind of gotten me over my five year depression spat. I try to smile and be happy most of the time, but I can only turn a negative into a positive so much. I'm just really hoping I don't die in this mobile home.

There was this song I found on one of the EA Sports NHL games between the years of 2001 and 2005 that I really liked, but couldn't find as lyrics searches always came up empty. I'd tried searching for game soundtracks, and I sampled every song on the last 4 NHL games. Two days ago, I finally found it: Brand New Low by Treble Charger. I honestly thought I'd never find it, but I did. I downloaded it, and now I can't listen to it enough.

As you’d probably guess, General Hospital is set primarily in a hospital, and is about the doctors in the hospital and related residents. At least, that was the idea in 1963 when the show first hit the air. Now there is mainly one focus: Michael (Sonny) Corinthos, III and his organized crime business. I read once that it seemed to be entirely the mob, but that must have faded out by the time I started watching because there are very few times when some important member of town isn’t in GH. As I stated before, GH is serious (like The Young & The Restless), and trying to redefine what people perceive as a soap opera. This could easily have a bigger budget, be on film instead of videotape, and come on once a week instead of every weekday and I’d still be watching it. The pacing is reasonable (for what it is) and people never harp on a subject for too long (Sam survived the encephalitis outbreak and decided it was time to find her mother; she did (Alexis), decided not to tell her to give her the satisfaction, and now she wants to help her boyfriend (Jason) through his problems (taking over Sonny’s business so he won’t go out with his sister); in the span of half a month. Are you getting this James Reilly?). Which you’d probably expect with the mob and everything, there is a lot of action on this series. More than I thought was reasonable for a soap opera. People are constantly getting hurt, and plenty of bit parts come along cause a problem only to be quickly killed off as they aren’t fast enough to avoid a bullet or an explosion. It’s very interesting and comedy seems to come in every once in a while (actual comedy, not like “soap operas are funny” comedy). There’s hardly any music (unlike Days) unless there is some heartfelt discussion (which doesn’t occur as often as you’d expect) or something really important is being said. I like the fast cuts the show usually takes rather than just staring in someone’s face for five seconds like most soaps do. It was really hard to remember names, but now it’s rather simple. It’s helped me to remember other things as well. Soaps aren’t hard to catch up on; I’ve heard they weren’t, but I always figured the day you start watching, you’d be wondering what happened the day before. But with the recapping they seem to do in the episodes, it’s not near impossible. I guess they do this because they know most people don’t watch every single day. My ultimate goal is when someone reference back to something that happened ages ago, I can say “I remember that,” or that I see the beginning of the next Bo & Hope. I think I’ll be watching for a while.

Being the kind of person that I am, I have felt the need to compare General Hospital and Days of our Lives, especially since one is near the top of the ratings (GH) and the other is near the bottom (Days). The primary reason I’d say I watch Days is because of the history. Like I said, I always like to be a part of history and there have been some very memorable moments on Days of our Lives that people will not forget, and I’m hoping to catch one or two every day I watch. Speaking of days, we all know that since the primary action of soap operas is dialog, the sense of time is sort of skewed, in that many days don’t pass through one episode, it’s more like a few simple hours. The problem with Days when it comes to this formula is that one “day” can drag on for two to three weeks. I’m not sure what a normal time is, but in comparison, GH seems to only take three to four episodes to complete a “day.” I find it annoying how they take so much time to get on with everything and then when they reference back to it it’s been a few weeks. How is that possible? At the rate I count, I’d say maybe ten “days” have gone by since the year started. Another thing I don’t like about Days (you’re probably saying why do I even watch this show by now) is the pacing. Again, the only real thing I have to compare to is GH, but it is painstakingly slow how long it takes for a storyline to advance. And if something negative happens like a favorite couple breaking up, it’s down right frustrating how much they taunt you with the hopes of happiness only to take them away. I can’t count how many times Marlena started to remember something about her love for John and Alex put a stop to it by drugging her, which is part of his plan to kill her, which has been going on for five months.. If this was the boy who cried wolf, everyone would have given up on that kid a long time ago. It’s at the point now where I don’t even hope, I just wait to see if it’ll ever happen. Now that I think about it, I do this with a lot of the people. There are people you’re supposed to hate and love, but I don’t really have a preference as one day someone you love will do something to make you despise them. I just go by which women I find attractive and men’s general personalities (Bo, John, Roman). One more rant about Days: the setting. The Midwestern town of Salem. Where the hell is Salem? Why can’t it be in a state like all the other soap opera places? General Hospital: Port Charles, NY (replacing Rochester); Young & The Restless: Genoa City, WI (which is really a small resort town); All My Children: Pine Valley, PA (northwest Pennsylvania, near New York state). But Salem? Well, I know it’s in the Chicago Cubs market (the people there are fans). Next: General Hospital

When I was little (way before I went to elementary school), I used to stay at home with my grandmother while my mother went to work. Like most women who stayed at home, she watched soap operas on television. I remember specifically she used to watch The Young & The Restless, Another World and Santa Barbara. Since then, I haven’t really had much to do with daytime serial dramas. That is, until July 4, 2005, a while after my mother had switched to Total Choice in our DirecTV lineup, reinstating the cable channel SoapNet. That day at 7:00pm, I ended up watching Days of our Lives just to see what was going on. Sami was trying to figure out a way to expose Kate for drugging her and Brandon, making Lucas believe that she would sleep with someone else on the day of their wedding. Mimi was in jail for putting Jan Spears in a coma, and her mother Bonnie was trying to find a way to get her out (a nail file in a cake was what she had thought up that particular day). I thought it would just be a one-time thing, but next thing I knew, I wanted to watch the next day. And that’s what I ended up doing the entire summer. And the fall. And the winter. And now the spring. I’ve been watching Days ever since that day and if I’m not mistaken, I’ve only missed one episode (a Friday about 2 weeks ago). I think I started watching because I’ve always heard people say that pro wrestling is like a soap opera. With feuds and angles and all kinds of things going on that weren’t that different from the serials that come on every day. So, I decided to see what the source material was. Another part of it is the history. I like to be a part of history as much as possible and watching some of televisions longest running shows will make you a part of history in my opinion. In addition to Days, I also like to watch General Hospital. On the day I’d watched Days back in July, I watched the rest of the SoapNet lineup to sort of “audition” to see if there were any other shows I liked. I ended up not liking All My Children, I sort of liked One Life to Live, but I loved General Hospital (very action oriented). I like to say that GH “keeps me sane” since Days is so hokey (that is, follows much of the stereotypes and clichés people who don’t like soap operas can’t stand, including someone saying something important cuing really dramatic music). I would have watched CBS’ soaps, but they only come on once a day and if I miss that one, I’m out of luck, while Days and the ABC soaps come on multiple times thanks to SoapNet (this is no longer the case with Y&R, though I feel I only need one serious and one hokey soap, which is why I dropped OLTL (in my opinion kind of hokey)). Next: What's wrong with Days

I always figured since I'm shy and I don't like to talk to people, but I really want people to get to know me, that using non-verbal means I could express what kind of person I am. Well last night in a thread, I ended up taking things too far. I answered a question with a stupid answer, then proceeded top put up an excerpt of my writing. I don't want to sound like a complete wuss, but the response I got wasn't what I expected, and I got my feelings hurt. The good news though, it got me off the computer at 4 in the morning. This is definitely the last time I will make such a mistake, as it was a rude awakening for me. I have learned my lesson and will cut down on the stupid responses and starting useless threads to ask idiotic questions.

I just wanted to put this up for everyone to see.

South Carolina. One of the original 13 colonies. The first state to secede from the union when "the confederate states of America" was started. I have to admit, I've lived here my whole life, so I'm sort of biased. First of all, for a state the size of SC, it's not that populated. It's somewhere around 4,000,000 total. The largest city in terms of population is Columbia, with just over 100,000. It kind of irks me that that's not a lot of people. The "town" of Joliet, Illinois has like 113. I live in Bowman, a small town about 15 miles from Orangeburg, a county seat. That's where I spend most of my time when I'm not home, as there is nothing in Bowman, really. There are three dairies and a million chicken houses, but not much else. Orangeburg is where everything is...though it's not much more: one Wal-Mart, one Kmart, one 4 screen theater, two Bi-Lo's, one Reid's (Food Lion Franchisee), a Big Lots, and about 13 Fast Food joints, all of which have locations all over the world, so it's not special, and a mall with the smallest Sears, Belk and JCPenny’s in the world. It's designated as a city, but anyone else would definitely call it a town. The significance of Orangeburg is it's the county seat of Orangeburg County, which was named an All-America City last year. There are two universities (both historically black, one the oldest in the state, the other SC's 1890 land-grant college), Edisto memorial gardens (speaks for itself), and is in cahoots with Calhoun County. The two counties share a community college (Orangeburg-Calhoun Tech), a hospital (The Regional Medical Center of Orangeburg and Calhoun Counties) and many other services that usually belong to one county by itself. I don't know how many people can say this, but I've been just about all over this state. I mostly take trips to Columbia or North Charleston (remember what I said about Orangeburg?), but on rare occasions I've been up to the Pee Dee, The Piedmont (I really thought I was going to die in Lancaster), The Low country, and The Midlands. I've been to Myrtle Beach, I've seen the foothills of the Appalachians, and I've seen the (older) Cooper River Bridge. When I was younger my family used to frequent Hilton Head Island, but not so much anymore. I've been on all the interstate highways that run through here (20,26, 95, 85, 77) and I'd have to say the one that runs from Spartanburg to Charleston is the most scenic, especially traveling from Bowman to Charleston. My mother says she prefers going south because you can tell by looking at the sky you're getting closer to the ocean (and the hills between us and Columbia are a ***** to drive). Most people already know that there are two NCAA I-AA schools in the state: The University of South Carolina and Clemson University (the 1860 land-grant school). But what people don't know is that having only two schools of this size in the entire state splits it right down the middle. There are no two ways about it: either your favorite color is garnet or orange. Gamecocks and Tigers line the flags in front of houses all over. All the girls love their "Carolina Girl" t-shirts with either garnet or orange letters. Except for the black girls, that is. They’re all about South Carolina State, Claflin, Benedict, Allen University, or any of the other HBCU’s that I can’t think of at the moment. Speaking of the girls, they’re so-so around here. However, I can only speak of where I live and Columbia and North Charleston, where I find myself in the malls occasionally. Some really catch your eye, but a good bit make you want to scratch them out. That’s all I really can say. No pro teams, unless you want to talk about the “Carolina” ones, who play up north. As I said before, I guess the cities are too small. But the Colonial Center in Columbia, the North Charleston Coliseum in Charleston and the Bi-Lo Center in Greenville draw big name events. In the NCC I saw an episode of WWE Raw live (the one where Bischoff was fired for those in the know). As a pro wrestling fan, it’s a moment I’ll never forget. In Columbia I saw a Nickelback concert. My first concert, in fact. Awesome experience. Won’t forget that, either. All in all, I like it here. It ranks low in a few things where it matters, the Governor’s name is also that of a character in a Law and Order SVU episode who ran a black market baby ring, but it’s still a great place to live in my personal opinion. I just really wish I could get out of Bowman though…