So I am going to post some old pictures (old as in up to a year old and before I lost a few pounds) for kicks. Let me know what you think.

My Absolute FAVORITE gettup (Black shirt and pants with a bright red tie )

My favorite picture of myself

Me sad because I dont have hair :(

Thats me then. Back when I had my sexy 8 MegaPixel camera before it got stolen by some gangster punk at Six Flags *tear*. Oh well. Have a good laugh at my expense. :)

-JD

So as you may or may not know, I had an internship interview today. It was a very important interview. As in if I dont get this job, I do not get to graduate important. So I was of course stressed beyond belief. There was 5 of us going in for a group interview. I thought that they were only going to hire 2 of us. Boy was i relieved when they hired us all. I mean I know that at least 11 of us sent in our resumes, but I had no idea that the 5 of us who made it to the next step would be hired. I am so happy. It is a huge amount of stress off of my shoulders.

I am interning for a company called TechRestore. They specialize in the repair of all Apple products. If it is broken, then they keep the working parts and sell them. They also repair PC's, TV's, and my favorite, PSP's. I think that I'm going to have a good time there.

Oh and the picture is of the ugly tie that I had to wear today because I cant find my red one. So no smiles this time.

-JD

O...M...G!!! What is her problem (im talking about my ex of course)!?! She won't leave me alone!!! She knows that she broke, no, SHATTERED, my heart, yet she still wants to be my best friend. I have told her time and time again that I dont think that I can do the best friend thing. I have told here that we can either be together, or not speak to eachother. There is no real in between. Why is that you ask? She broke up with me and I did nothing wrong. All I did was love her. I swept her off her feet. I gave her the time of her life. I bought her nice things without thinking or expecting anything in return. I protected her from her jerk of a stepfather. I did everything that I could do to show her that I loved (and i still do) her. This is starting to drive me insane. She sent me a text message earlier tonight for me to call her. I did, and guess what she told me. She told me this, and I quote, "I am thinking about comming back to you, but im scared to." I asked why. She told me that she was afraid to hurt me again. I told her that I didnt care if she hurt me or not, I just want her back in my arms again. I want to know that there is someone to fill the void in my heart. I asked her what she wants, and she says that she doesnt know. It has been three damn months, and she still doesnt know??? Im about to end all communication with her so that she can think. Oh and here is the kicker of it all. SHE ASKS ME TO CALL HER AND THEN DOESNT SAY A FREAKIN WORD WHEN I CALL HER!!!!! This especially pisses me off when I call her durring my short 20 minute break at work. I am close to the end of my line with this girl. The only thing that is keeping me here and contacting her is the fact that I am still madly in love with her. I just wish that she understood what she was doing to me so that she can make up her damn mind on what she wants. Its the not knowing that is the biggest torture to me. I would rather have her tell me that there was no way in Hell that she was comming back so that I can have some closure. But whatever. Im almost done with her. It will be the hardest decision that I will ever have to make in my life, but it might be something that I have to do for my sanity.

To those who read this and were able to follow it, thank you. This is just something that I really needed to get off of chest. Again. Thank you.

-JD

PS. I just realized that I have a really big nose. :(

So I finally have something to smile about!! I have an interview tomorrow for my internship that I need to do in order to graduate!!! Finally after three months of the school not doing their job, they finally gave me an e-mail list of companies that will work with the school. I picked one, and jsut a couple of days later, bingo, a phone call. The interview is tomorrow at 2:30. I am so excited. However, I am also scared. What if I screw up the interview? I have a tendency to speak before I think, and it has gotten me in trouble in the past. What if I say something stupid that the interviewer doesnt like? Oh well. Only time will tell how I do.

The company is called TechRestore. It specializes in the repair of Apple products. They do repair other things like PC's and PSP's (sweet I know), but they are there for the macs, iPod's, and iPhone's of the world. I get to play with these things for 110 hours before my internship period is over. I cant wait.

- JD

I am going to start by saying that I am sorry that I am not smiling in this picture. I took this last night when I got home from work around 11 pm Pacific Time last night from work. I was and still am mentally and physically exausted. Let me tell you why.

It all started Friday night when I had to work from 4 to closing. Now my restaurant closes at 11 pm on Fridays and Saturdays. That is when the dorrs lock. Not when we actually get to leave. I think that it must have been around midnight when I got home. Now I dont know about you, but when I get home from work, it takes at least an hour to wind down and cool down before I can fall asleep. Well it took an hour, so I didnt get to bed till around 1 in the morning. Now that is when i layed down to go to sleep. Not when I actually fell asleep. I thing that that happened around 3. I had to get up very very early on Saturday morning. like 6 am early. I had several things that i needed to do that morning. Everything from cleaning house to washing the car. I was done with everything that I needed to get done around 1. I had to work at 4 that day, so I didnt have enough time to take a nap. SO I played an hour of 360 to relax, answered the questions that I was asked in my blog, and went to work for another closing shift. I got home on Saturday at the same time I did on Friday. Now what really sucked on this particular Saturday was the Spring Forward junk. I lost a precious hour of sleep. I had to rise at 5, so that was what? Maybe 2 hours of sleep? I had signed up to operate the audio/visual booth at church that morning, so I got to run the sound board and setup the powerpoint for both services that morning. I got to church around 6, and worked till noon. Then I went to eat and go to Wal-Mart for essentials (no new games though *tear*. I got done and home about 3. Horray. Only one hour till work again. Another closing shift!!!! Horray. Thankfully I got home at 11 instead of midnight last night. I was going to write this last night, but I was shaking all over. I took the picture right before I passed out. Needless to say, I completly shut down last night. And I get to close again tonight!!! Yay me.

On a lighter note, I am going to post a picture of my cat doing what I need to be doing so badly right now.

To those who read this sad story, thank you. I'll post a picture of me smiling tomorrow afternoon when I dont have to work. I give you my word.

-JD

Well, it is time to answer the few questions that I do have. So here we go.

1) Is that a Pirate flag in your background (from ArsenicA)? Y yes. yes it is. I picked it up on a trip to Santa Cruz California. The pic up top is a picture of the flag as it hangs.

2) Why are all of your pics so serious (from ArsenicA)? That is a very very good question. I am having a hard time being able to smile lately. On the first of the year, my girlfriend left me high and dry with no explanation when just 3 days before that, i gave her the time of her life. She wants to stay my best friend, but she broke my heart. I dont know what to do in that situation at all. I dont want her to be hurt because I stop contacting her. But idk. Its just a major problem that is weighing heavily on my heart. There is also the fact that I have already been to three funerals this year. One for my Grandfather who died when his house caught on fire. Another is a close family friend who passed away due to cancer. And the third is from my aunt who passed away mysteriously in her sleep at the age of 52. There is sadly not a whole lot for me to smile about at all these days. However, if you would like to see a pic of me smiling, let me know and I will try my best to muster up a smile for you.

3) What do u do or work for u mention on yer previous blogs something about your job (from ArsenicA)? I work at a small California pizza chain called Straw Hat Pizza. I am over worked and underpaid, and hate every minute of it. The only thing that is keeping me there is my amazing co-workers, and the fact that I will be moving away from this area over the summer and need a steady paycheck to assist with moving expenses. Oh well. Free pizza is good right?

4) How is Lost the Game (from ArsenicA)? I wouldn't really call it a game so much as an experience. It is very closely tied to the Lost mythology, but sadly only offers up one answer to questions from the show. It is an easy 100 Gamerscore from playing. Gameplay is mostly exploration and puzzlesolving. Graphics are hit and miss. Amazing enviornments and lackluster character models. Sound is mostly a miss with awful voiceovers. But the jungle sounds and music are amazing. I would say that it is a Rent only game because you could proabably complete the game and get all 1000 GS within 10-12 hours depending on your puzzle solving skills.

5) Is that the cake from Portal (Lady_Bahamut)? Yes and no. Yes it is the cake from Portal, but remember that the cake is a big fat stinky smelly lie. So because the cake is a lie, then my avatar cannot be the cake from Portal. :P

Thanks for asking questions you two. If anyone else has anymore questions, do not hesitate to ask. I enjoy answering peoples questions. Untill I post again, have a good day.

-JD

So I have decided after much pondering I have decided to do a question blog. However this one will be a bit different. Ask any questions that you want to reguardless of how personal they are. I will answer the questions that I get in my next post. So I guess the logical next thing to say is...ASK AWAY. =)

-JD

Now I must warn you before you scroll down to view this picture. I am NOT the most attractive person in the world. Please dont delete me due to my ugliness.

Now...without further addo...

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Ta Da!!!!! Yes that is a pirate flag in the background, and yes that is a semi fancy shirt. I took the pic right after i got home from school today, so I was still in dress code (freakin Heald college and business casual attire!!!).

So YAY!!!! I did it!!!! I posted a picture of myself for complete strangers to see!!!!! Yay me!!!

-JD

So ya... I have decided that if there is enough interest (meaning more then two people due to having a very short friends list *sob*), I would post a picture of myself. But that is only if the interest is there. If not, then i will be sad and stay invisible like the kitty.

Nothing has gone right for me this year. I cant catch a break. It has been just one emotional blow after another. First the love of my life leaves me (see previous blog), Then my grandfather dies (see blog titled some closure), then I find out today that my aunt passed away. She was only 52 years old. She got up in the night to use the restroom feeling perfectly healthy, went back to bed, and never woke up. What is wrong with my life? Why is everything going so wrong? Why cant I have a chance at being happy? Does God have something against me? I honestly dont know. There is, however, a chance at happiness comming in the summer. A friend and I are going to be moving to Huntington Beach. Its just south of LA. Hopefully there I can find true happyness and escape from the hell that has become my life.