So it is finally time for me to reveal the great tragity that I promised to write about in my first blog. Those of you who read this will wonder what is wrong with either myself or the person who caused me so much pain. Be prepared for a tear jerker.

It all started three long years ago when I met the girl of my dreams. I saw her at church one day sitting with her family. At first I only saw the back of her head, but when she turned and i looked into her eyes, oh my gosh. It was love at first sight. I was scared of this new feeling that I had never experienced before. I was afraid to do anything about it. So I loved her in secret for two and a half years.

It was a warm evening in May when i got a phone call from her. She asked me if I would accompany her to her Sr. Ball. I said yes in an instant. My heart lept and danced. It was one of the most amazing moments of my life. We went together and danced to only a couple of songs (we were both offended by the music that was playing). The most fun, however, was really getting to know her. The more we talked, the more I fell in love with her. It was the most amazing night of my life. By the time the last song came on, we were already walking around holding hands. We danced the last song together and kissed on the dancefloor.

That was the first night of the happiest seven months of my life. We went out for a month before we both professed our love for each other. We were both crying when we said that we loved each other, but they were tears of happyness. Sadly, I knew that once the summer was over, she was going to go away to school and I would be left alone without her. But we made the decision to try and make it work.

It worked for a long time. I even spent all of my hard earned savings on a plane ticket down to see her for Thanksgiving weekend. We both had the time of our lives that weekend. We were both in tears at the airport when I had to come back home, but we knew that we would be seeing each other for Christmas. And we made a promise thatit was going to be the best christmas that we had ever had.

Christmas time came, and she came back home for almost a full month. I treated her to the most romatic christmas celebration with just the two of us that can be had where we live. It was the most amazing night of my life. However, things would not remain that way for very long.

It started the day after Christmas. She stopped talking to me for no real reason. She wouldnt return my phone calls or text messages. We had both planned to go to a party for New Years Eve. I picked her up at the time that we had agreed on. She was ready even though she hadnt talked to me for a few days. She looked very sad and distant from me. I asked her what was wrong and she said that she would tell me later. We went to the party, and tried to have fun, but she was so distant the entire night. It wasn't untill midnight when I went to give her a kiss that I knew why she was down. Right befor My lips touched hers, she told me to stop. She said that we needed to talk. My heart sank instantly.

We talked in the car. Well she did most of the talking while I sat there in tears. She told me, and I quote, "I think that we need to take a break. Something feels off, and I need space to figure out what it is." I broke down instantly. Then she said that she didnt want to loose my friendship because before we were together, we were very close friends. I didnt say anything.

We have been struggling through trying to keep our friendship alive for the past three months now. In one of our strained talks, she told me that she was thinking about comming back, but was afraid to because she didnt want to hurt me again. that brought my hopes up that we could reignite the extinguished fires of our love. That was a month and a half ago. She has yet to tell me why she broke my heart. I asked her yesterday if she knows if she wants to come back to me or not. She told me that she doesnt know what she wants anymore.

This whole not know if she is going to come back or not hurts more then her just saying that she is not going to come back at all. She wants to continue being my friend like we were never together. I have told her that the only way that that would have happened would have been if it was a mutual decision to end our relationship. It seems that she does not even want to think about what she wants anymore. Everytime I try to talk to her about it, she changes the subject.

I cant do it anymore. I cant be her friend. It hurts so much to have come to this realization. I still love her with all of my heart. I honestly believe that this girl is the girl that I am ment to love. No girl can ever take her place in my heart. But I cannot talk to her anymore untill she tells me why she broke my heart and if she wants to come back to me.

It hurts to even think about ending communication with not only the girl that i love, but also my best and only friend. I dont know what to do anymore. Ill post another blog soon when I know what is going on. Thanks for reading.

-JD

Today is the day that I recieve my copy of Lost: Via Domus. It has just left Concord, CA to be delivered to my house in Antioch, CA. Its about a 15 minute drive on the freeway. I am stuck here in Concord for classes.

I have had the game on reservation since it was available from Gamestop.com. I even had it down to be shipped overnight. I honestly thought that it would not ship on retail ship day. I thought that they would end up shipping it the day that it went on sale.

Whenever I make an online purchase, I track it religiously online. The game left from Kentucky at 2:42 AM, and arrived at Oakland CA, at 3:52 AM. How can it get halfway across the country in just over an hour? it takes an hour to fly from Oakland to LA. Unless a UPS jet, it doesnt make sense. But oh well.

The point is that I am stuck here in class with my package waiting for me at home for a few hours. Not a cool thing at all.

I know that the game is not going to be the best gaming experience ever created, but I am really looking foward to diving into the Lost mythology and take it in as an actual character on the island. I have heard that it is a short game without much replay value. I can watch the episodes of Lost several times and discover something new each time (an example is the Dharma logo on the shark in Season 2 which i did not catch on my first viewing). How can the game be any different?

Needless to say, I am anxious to get home to play this game. I hope it lives up to the mythology of lost.

-JD

I havent written i a while, so I am writting something short about a game that i have fallen in love with.

I bought the game on a whim because of my RPG withdrawls. I popped it into the disk drive and from the title screen on, I was hooked. I am not that far into the game (Chapter 3), but I now know that there will be very little other games played untill i beat this game. Tri-Crescendio has crafted an amazing game with a sweeping story that dances the line between reality and fantasy. The score is on par with a major Hollywood release. The combat may seem simple at first, but as your party levels up, it becomes fast paced and extreamly tactical. I recomend this game to EVERYONE!!!!!

Disclaimer: The words below are strictly my opinion and are not affiliated with blah blah blah ect. ect.

So I sat down and watched all three Matrix movies in one sitting. First of all...DON'T EVER DO THAT!!!! It burns the eyes in all ways possible. Keanu Reeves has as much emotion as a jar of maynnoaise. For example the funniest (as in stupidest) part of the first Matrix, When Morpheous jumps the building Neo just says "Whoa." No substance AT ALL!!! When he learns how to fight, he looks at Morpheous and plainly states "I know Kung-Fu." We don't give a **** if you can do kung-fu because as Morpheous proves, you still get your *** kicked.

Another thing that bothers me. Neo is supposed to be "The One." No one can beat him. The heres a question to ponder. WHY THE **** DOES NEO LOOSE TO SMITH IN RELOADED AND REVOLUTIONS!!!!!!! In Reloaded, he was doing fine, but GIVES UP AND "RUNS" AWAY!!! In Revolutions, He gets absorbed by Smith and WOW SIMTH dies. Technically he did not win the fight. If there is going to be a climactic battle between good and evil, make it so that the ending of the fight is not gay

That brings me to another point. THE ENDING SUCKS!!!! Why is the oracle and the archetect talking for two cout them TWO FULL MINUTES about a future that we will NEVER SEE!!! Trinity is dead. Neo, well, WE DON"T KNOW WHAT THE **** HAPPENED TO NEO!!! But they are standing there just talking to each other like everyone made it out ok. BULL ****.

The Matrix did have one cool part in the entire trilligy. That is the Freeway Chase scene in reloaded. That was just wicked awsome. **** gets blown up, samari slashed, butterfly knifed, shot up, and even steped on.

Man it feels good to get that all out.

So this weekend was interesting. Saturday was my grandfathers funeral. But let's not start there, let's start from where everything went to heck. Let us start from the first day of the year.

On January 1, 2008 at 12:25 am, my grandfathers appartment caught fire. We got the call about six hours later telling us that. He had been rushed to the burn center in San Francisco, a full hour away from where I live. He was on life support for over a week before he finally passed away. The doctor did not let my family see him at all while he was in the burn center for reasons that I have yet to understand.

The entire process to obtain the body was a long and painful process. First we got news that my grandfather did not have life insurence, so everything that needed to be paid for came out of my family's pockets. In addition to what one would consider to be "normal" charges for death, we got slapped with a $700 charge for an autopsy. I mean what the heck!!!? We already knew how he died. He died from his burns, breathing in a ton of smoke, and fire in his lungs. Why preform an autopsy!!!? Their reasoning was because it was an accident. So here we are an additional $700 poorer because of the stupid state of California. But I digress.

Nearly a month later (this past Saturday), we were finally able to have the funeral service. There was just one thing that was strange to me. The service was a Buddhist service. My grandfathers third wife is from Thailand and it was up to her how the funeral was going to be. So my family (my mom and dad, other grandparents, two close family friends, younger brother, and myself) and my extended family (25 Thai family members) all went to the Buddhist temple an hour away in the mountains to attend the service.

The temple itself was beautiful. As we drove over a ridge, it came into view. It felt like we were actually in Thailand. I found out later that my grandfather helped to pay for and build it. It was a sight to behold. I would have taken a picture if A) I had my camera and B) I was allowed to take pictures. Inside was also beautiful. A giant statue of Buddah in gold (fake gold i assume, but amazing nontheless) and hand painted walls were a sight to behold. Onto the actual service.

We had to remove our shoes before we entered the actual temple. Now I was not expecting to do that and in my stupidity, I wore two different socks. I was completly embarassed. We all sat down on the floor around a little shrine for my grandfather that had candles and a picture of him. All 9 of the monks entered the temple and sat down on a raised area at the front of the temple. The head monk started to speak in Thai as a welcome kind of thing I guess (I don't know. I don't speak Thai.). Then he started to speak in english so that my family could understand what was going on. My step-grandmother took a candle at the monks instruction and lighted the candle and some insence. Then I went to light an insence and set it in a bowl of rice to honor my grandfather. The monks then chanted for a half hour straight. It was a beautiful chant all in Thai. They did not move, or stop chanting the entire time. It was a sight to behold. Then my family gave each of the nine monks a robe with an offering. I do not understnad what it is supposed to symbolize, but it was kind of cool. The service ended, and I got to speak with the head monk (thats not his official title, but its what I call him). He was a very nice guy.

That all said, it is some closure on a very painful chapter of my life. Complete closure will come after the 100 days that my grandfathers ashes have to stay at the temple and we can take him up north and sprinkle his ashes into the ocean. I might have pictures of that event if I can bring myself to take them.

To all who read this entire blog, thank you. I really appreciate it. Knowing that some people care enough helps so much.

Thank you.

-JD

So I just got back from the local Theatre. I went with an amazing girl to see the movie Strange Wilderness. It is a touching tale about a crew from a wildlife show that is trying not to get taken off the air. The story follows the crew and all of their missadventures out in the wilderness in search of an elusive creature that will forever cement their status as the greatest nature show of all time and keep them on the air. Aw who am I kidding. I'm making the movie sound like its for kids.

Truth be told, this movie was filled with everything you have come to expect from an R rated comedy. Swearing, Sexual Content, Nudity, Excessive Drug Use, and even Gore. Most of it was so completly out of place, that it confused the *moonshine* out of me. And guess what folks. I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!!!

I laughed so hard durring this movie that there were tears in my eyes. My date had to give me some tissue to clean myself up. Needless to say it was a very good movie. 4 stars. 2 thumbs up. etc. etc.

I laughed. I cried. I even cringed (every male who sees this movie will cringe on a certain part of this movie involving a wild turkey). It was one of the best times that I have ever had at the movies. Needless to say, if you have the option to see this movie, and you are over 17, then GO SEE IT!!!!!!!

-JD

A world without cake is a world without meaning. For without the cake and all of its tasty layers, there can be no existance. One who does not like cake simply cannot be human. Cake makes everyone happy. Anyone who is saddened by cake is either dead and cannot enjoy the delicious and tasty treat, or a communist. There is even a kind of cake that a person could take on the go.

There is a cake for every occasion. From weddings,

to birthdays.

Cake makes the world go round. Just remember that there is no place in the world that does not have cake. Even brightly lit clean labs have cake. Even though they tell you something about the cake, you must never believe them. For the cake is the only thing that can be true. Do not forget cake. Cake cannot hurt you. Cake cannot stab you in the back. Cake is only good. Cake is only delicious. Cake is only perfect.

Cake

Cake

Cake

Cake

Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake

C-C-C-C-C-A-K-E

CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..............

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Thank you for reading this gentlemans description of an object of fantasy. Please disreguard everything that he has told you. He has been injected with a deadly neurotoxin for spreading his lies. Do not let him tempt you with illusions of a non-existant pastry. There is only one true fact in this world.

Thank you. And have a pleasent tomorrow.

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-JD

Well I know that I should really start a blog about day to day living and general thoughts, but I do not know what the *moose* to write about. If I had any clue what to write, i totally would write it. Sadly, there has recently been a great trama in my life that has affected, nay, DERAILED, my train of thought. It is a very sad story that I might share in the near (a day or two from now) future. Oh well. I just felt the need to write something about nothing. So for now

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