WARNING: THE FOLLOWING MAY CONTAIN UNHEALTHY DOSES OF INSANE: PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK Thats my second blog title with godamn in it. Awesome. I offically declare that this earns me +3 cool points. IN YO FACE SHAQ. So anyways, I have witnessed the face of true evil, not your hollywood style, always loses in the end villian evil- but more of your serial slaying a thousand people, and building a chapel from their bones to worship satan evil. I of course speak about *shudder* Fire Emblem. Why, oh dear god why does everything I love hate me so much in return. My luck with women should not transfer into my videogaming, some may say its BECAUSE of my luck with women I game so much, but those people are part of aforementioned chapel now. *twitch* So anyways I get to mission 16 and im like "oh lookey dookey an arena!" "finally a chance to level my weaksauce kitten characters, and turn them into chainsaw weilding minions of evil.". Alas it was not meant to be. After FOUR HOURS OF LEVELING, one of main characters gets critical hitted and dies in one hit from a walking transvestite looking mrymidon with a sword. Spalt. Thats it. All gone. I have to start the mission from the beggining and do all that leveling all over again. Every time I load the game its always an instant hit, critical death for poor Hector. Now picture a mongoose: its something like a duck only a lot stupider, and has a retarded name. Hell something called Mongoose should be eradicated from this world just for the premise of its name alone. DONT LAUGH YOU ARE NEXT RHINOCERUS. Anyways picture this animal being strangled violently and sodomized by a searing hot curling iron at the same time. Got the picture? Good. Now think of the scream it would make, and thats what came out of my snarl filled, teeth clenched, barely containing hatred of a mouth. This was before I threw my DS as hard as I could against the wall of course. Amazingly the DS still works like a charm, so I spit on it for good measure and tucked it away. Spitting on things is certainly not as liberating as peeing on things, but I didnt want a pee stained DS. Well not that much. I SUPPOSE IT WOULD OF MADE A NICE COMPANION TO MY PEE STAINED THIRD BROKEN PS2. So anyways it will be many moons before this game sees my time again, and of course after that happened I had to work long extra hours at work over the weekend to top it off. So I went and treated myself to some new games and traded in a few 360 games I already beat for them (Gears Of War, Lost Planet, Smackdown 07, R6V) Super Paper Mario, Manhunt, Summoner and Disgea: Hour Of Darkness I choose you! AND GOD HELP YOU NEW GAMES IF YOU GIVE ME ANY PROBLEMS.

The sweet taste of victory is unlike any nectar you shall drink. Embroiled deep in war in Fire Emblem: Path Of Radiance I spent an hour and a half on the final mission alone. My team of twelve elite warriors versus the mad kings army of fifty elite warriors. Yeah, this series hates you and wants you dead. But oh remember my humiliating defeat from the first Fire Emblem game some months ago? I returned, resolve strengthed refusing to accept nothing less than absolute victory from Path Of Radiance. The fifty of them didnt stand a chance, not only did I beat this game I godamn well crushed it. Maxing out every paladin and wizard in the game and suicide rushing them into the hordes of evil regardless of their well being worked well, mwhahahaha. There is no genre of game other than turn based strategy that gives me such a sense of enjoyment, such a rush. Well planned and meticulous growth of characters, utilizing fundamental battle strategys (such as choke points, rush attacks and diversions) and watching your plans all come together and not only working but crushing things is amazing. So my friends with the taste of victory still fresh on my lips I sneer towards my Nintendo DS, jam the original Fire Emblem into that GBA socket and prepare for domination, I will accept no character deaths, I will defeat my nemesis. With 20 years of gaming experience under my belt and my real skills developed towards strategy and rpg games I refuse to accept defeat any longer, I will crack open some beer and laugh and spit at every damn idiot enemy I kill rawr I must win! Anyways other than this im also in the works in finishing off (but not limited to) Oblivion, Oblivion: Knights Of The Nine, Oblivion: Shimmering Isles, Bully, The Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Trauma Center: Second Opinion, and of course my nemisis Fire Emblem. For all those involved in our yearly gaming contest, the storm is coming boys, I refuse to lose at anything ever again, the storm is coming :evil:

How do you know when you play too many games? When you buy your fourth Playstation 2.... yeah. I had to. It called to me. Sung to me in my dreams of brutal violence, and awesome threesomes. So the other day I went and got a nice slimline silver PS2 (it looks hella cool) God Of War 2, and Bully. I have only traveserved the first level of GoW2 so far, the entire thing feels like something you would play at the end of a game... incredible over the top presentation, and one hella gigantic statue thing that trys to crush you to crap. The gameplay is practiaclly identical to the first game, its just everything is done bigger and better and honestly I know not even one hour into this game that it has a strong grip on GOTY 07. /I haven't got to try Bully yet, but Upinflames (sorry I dont know hopw to make links work) wrote a very professional review that compelled me to pick this one up and give it a go based on his experiences. I was on the fence before, but it does look like a lot of fun so ill have to mess around with this one a bit soon too. Im still playing through Fire Emblem: Path Of Radiance as well, on chapter 18 of 28 I believe and its as expected, orgasm inducing strategy soap opera rpg greatness. Wait what about Tomb Raider, and Crackdown Godmode?! Well I got about halfway in both of them and got bored and moved on to more greener pastures. Ill pick them up again sometime later this year, but they just couldnt hold my attention long enough. Why play good games when so many great games are waiting? Last, but certainly not least, a completly un-gaming related glimpse into my horrible bastard of a life. At our lumber yard large portions of it flooded due to going from -30c temperatures, to +10c overnight......yeah. Snow all melted and floods the place to a depth of ...oh about three feet. Now this "water" isnt exactly nice either, its brown, its full of dirt and grime and probably other horrible mutagenic bacterial infectious wastes due to stagnating in the sudden heat wave. This all sets the stage for one very ungracefull, clumsy oaf to trip and fall- not once, but twice FACE FIRST INTO THE GODAMN THING. There was grime water everywhere...and I do mean everywhere...eyes...shoes...pants...worse places... and what do people do when they see this? Laugh....a lot..... *sigh* Its a good thing as security I actually dont have to carry a gun because I swear I would of shot my foot off by now or something. People suck, mother nature sucks and grime water super double sucks. Im off for some virtual threesomes.

Well after spending a good 9 hours playing Saints Row yesterday I figured I would share my thoughts with everyone. I have to be carefull though because there isn't many left to go around. *ba dum pish* Almost everything about the game is awesome. The action is fast paced and furious, the graphics are awesome- especially the explosions. The gunplay is worlds better than GTA with the free aim system, and makes the action sequences that much better. So the core gameplay, graphics and physics are all a step up from San Andreas, and it makes the game a blast to play. My only complaints thus far is in using a created character you are playing a nameless person storywise, sans personality. Really you never even say anything (so far anyways) I miss CJ in that regards, its very lacking. The other characters scream gangster poser, and just don't seem as authentic as the cast of San Andreas either. Another thing is doing side missions to earn respect, to buy the main missions with respect? Wtf is that? Yo dawg heres 1000 respect points now send me on a mission! Uh....yeah.. thats stupid. Some of the side things are fun anyways though (like the Insurance fraud and Drug Trafficking) but some are stupid as hell (escort missions and finding hos) Overall though the games positives far outweigh its negatives, and the core gameplay and action is addicting to keep you coming back for more. The gameplay here really carrys this game. Overall a 9.0/10 score for me, fantastic game. One last thing, this sites avatar change has messed me up a lot and ruined my awesome Sephiroth picture so I think I finally found one to replace it after hours of searching. Ph33r teh Krauser!

Well it won't be the most exciting birthday ever, but starting march 5th im on vacation for an entire week, and plan to sleep and game that week away. So with my free money for March I went out and bought some games and other junk to spoil myself (hey you gotta once and a while right?) Yeah I know I still have a freakin backlog and here I am buying more games. I went and picked up a GC controller, Memory card and some cube games! Three cheers for the backwards compatible Wii. Added to the collection is the sure to be orgasm inducing Fire Emblem: Path Of Radiance, the much talked about Killer 7, Prince Of Persia: The Two Thrones, and Viewtifull Joe 2. The last three I bought mainly because they were $18 each or so, even if they suck its not too big a loss. I know ill like Pop cause I played through the first two and enjoyed them, never played a VJ game before and im intrigued.... and Killer 7 well damn I want to try this game. Also picked up the third season of 24 (even though im only halfway through season 2 right now, go Jack!) and the first cd by System Of A Down which is a freakin masterpiece and highly reccomended to everyone. So its not quite like my 20th doing body shots of drunken girls and peeing off a freeway onto cars, but I guess im not quite as crazy as I used to be. I may have to take a trip to the stripclub this weekend though (which is convienently a 5 minute walk from where I work) March is the month of Godmode and mutual madness! Nakedness and beer abound, I raise my mug to the great forces of evil, hot girls and peeing on random things!

Rainbows and rage... raging rainbows? I won't even get it into what I think that could mean lol. Ok so you are probably thining GodMode WTF j00 haf da werd rainbowz in teh blogz lololololol. Yes I do! To commemerate/appreciate/um....somethingelseerate the greatness of Rainbow Six Vegas. Just got into my first casino in Vegas and thought I would reccomend this gem to all 360 owning terrorist hating mad dogs out there. Gone is the silly planning maps from before missions, and in place is a solid top notch produced semi tactical shooter. Semi Tactical? Yes in the sense that before different rooms you can use a camera to scope out the situation inside (a la Splinter Cell), order your two teamates to take position to storm the room (just by pressing the A button) and then with the flick of the directional pad you can order your team to eitehr blow up the door (stunning the terrorists) and storm in shooting, or kick in the door and use a flashbang grenade (usefull in hostage situations) or use smoke grenades or whatever. Commanding your team in as simply as a button or two on the direction pad (to get them to either follow you or wait) or you can move them into specific postions by pointing your cursor anywhere and pressing A. And really thats about as complicated as the tactical stuff gets, its very easy to catch on to everything and the game guides you through the different situations in the first few levels, so by the time you get to the meat of the game (Vegas, the game starts of in Mexico to set the story up) you are a lean mean, squad leading machine. The graphics are spectacular, the sound is suitable to the mood and environment and really pumps up when the action starts. The voicework is great, the coregameplay firefights are intense and uses a better cover system than Gears Of War. Overall this is a highly reccomended AAA game, and one of the best FPS on the 360. Looking forward to playing this one through. Also I have been playing Streets Of Rage. Extra emphasis on the RAGE part. There is one boss that is contantly abusing poor GME and keeping him from beating the damn thing. The twin ninja flippy japenese girls from hell. All they do is throw you around for tons of damage no matter what you do extremely frustrating, but im keeping at it. Also you might notice hey GME is doing another blog, and now I won't have access to his previous blog to keep track of the games ive beaten this year and also I am wearing no underwear! Well click on digg this on whammo there you go, for all you people currectly kicking my ass in our private little contest. I will catach up though, I have several games on the go so yar. Last but most certainly not least, please take three or four seconds to scroll to the top of my profile and take a gander at my new banner, made by the underappreciated SteelAttack! Good job man, I don't know what that beast is but it seems to stare right into my soul with those eyes of his and relish my inner most fears..... very suiting for me ^_^

Ok so this may be the last blog I write this year (!!) as it will give all us involved in our friendly contest a quick and easy access point to update our lists on what we have finished and our total point scores. So anytime you want to update your list (please do so regularily) just clicky on my profile and then edit your reply in the blog. Lets keep it to just one reply each so it makes for easy reading and keeping tabs on the other suckers....er participants in my insano gameo. As mentioned in the previous blog we will use a fair point system to judge each beaten games value, here is the point system: Games previously beaten (each individual game can be counted only once) - 2 points VC/Live Arcade - 5 points Expansion packs - 7 points Retail games - 10 points Good luck to the Ass 5 collective and any others involved, and remember to have fun this year! In other news I want everyone of you to download With Strength I Burn by Emperor and listen to the full song. Pure unholy black metal awesome.

Ok I figured id put the offical rules for the contest im having this year (see previous blog) in a seperate blog to keep things neat and tidy. If anyone can think of anything they would like to add just chime in your 2 cents worth. So far we have GamingGeek, Dvader, UpInFlames Yours Truly and maybe Steel Attack (If he isn't too busy watching Gilmore Girls...) The contest is open only to honest friends, so you lying scumbag types need not apply ^_^ Basicily to reiterate whats happening, is I have laid an open challenge down amongst friends to beat more games than me by the end of 2007. The contest runs until Jan 1st, 2008. If you do manage to beat me (!) than I will mail you 2 games of your choice. Heres the basic rules I can think of: 1) Only games you have not beaten before count towards your total. You could very well beat games you have played before but never finished though. 2) Oldschool games or any game collection series count. If you have the Capcom collection and are finishing Bionic Commando for the first time than congrats, if you haven't beaten it before it counts. So we will go with games from any era. 3) In the event that I am beaten, the 2 games of your choice must be ones I can walk into EBgames and buy off the shelf. I am not buying you two copies of Steel Batallion, as im sure some of you would choose two copies of that just to irk me.. *looks at GamingGeek* 4) Its a fun, friendly competition so lets not get too caught up :P At the moment I think Dvader has 6 games finished this year so far, I have 1 (almost 2!) and Upinflames has 1. Dvader you are a machine, but I am the monkey wrench! o_0 May The Force Be With You.

Scratch one of the ol now playing list. Lost Planet is done wham, bam, thank you mam. A measly 7.5hrs of bug blasting to finish the normal difficulty setting. Heres the scoop on this game. You play some lame freak that cant remember anything (man thats a new idea...) and you go around blasting bugs. There is some kind of story thrown in there but its hardly worth paying attention to. The characters are either walking cliches or downright boring and surprise, surprise you have to save the stupid snow world by the end of the game. The plus side is the very fun boss battles, and the fantastic graphics the games sports- especially explosion/smoke effects. I found myself in the later levels just running by normal enemies so I could get to the cool boss fights. The levels are somewhat tedious though they are fun for the first three or four. Highlight of the game was fighting the massive worm in mission 3 for the special achievment you get. That battle took about an hour and every inch of my grueling, swear word filled effort to down the beast. Not even the last boss was as fun as that worm. Fah, this game is worth buying for $20-30 dollars but not the $70 or so I paid. The online multiplayer is horrendous as well. So I put this one back on the shelf and I doubt ill touch it again. Overall id rate it a solid rental/ bargin buy of 7.5 or so. Ill do a review here in the next day or two. In other my gaming news im having the completly opposite of tiems with Trauma Center: Second Opinion still, it is unlike anything I have ever played before and is absolutley addicting. Once you get into the later missions (Im on 3-2 I believe) the games difficulty ramps up hardcore and you can expect to replay the same operation half a dozen times or more before you catch on. Seriously im a believer in this game, the controls are perfect and its fun to be a surgeon. As far as my opinion goes this is a AAA experience and the best game the Wii has to offer. Yeah I like it more than Zelda... look for a review to come soon! What can I say I love games that kick my ass. I may never beat this game lol. Seriously. Though I shall try! Im upgrading tommorow from a normal DS, to one of those sexy DS lites I had my eye on for forever now, so I have been holding off on the Castlevania gaming until then. Ill be playing that hardcore over the weekend (even though I work..blargh) breaking in the new DS so I expect to have that finished by Monday. A review will be forthcoming for that too. And finally I haven't touched Zelda in a while now, a week or two? I dunno I got past the fourth dungeon which was really fun but my intrest sort of died. It just feels so ancient, like I played this a dozen times before.. and I find myself wishing there were more RPG elements to the game, because it just isnt very rewarding. Ill buckle down and finish it soon I suppose but probably only after the other three. I have decided to play games in groups of 4 this year. So ill have four games on my NP list at any given time, I will not play a new game until all four of those are finished and done with. So Lost Planet is done, now I have to finish TC, Zelda and Castlevania: PoR before I get another four games going. This way I figure ill actually beat my games and get the most out of them, im also going to try to review every game I beat this year. Oh and Dvader, thats Lost Planet beat so far this year for me. Im writing the games I beat down on a piece of paper so I wont lose track. I aim to go through ten sets of four games in 2007 for a grand total of 40 games beaten, if you can truly beat me at my own game (haha get it?) than I will buy you a game of your choice and mail it to you. This goes out as an open challenge to anyone, and goes by the honesty policy, beat more games than me this year and you get a free game of your choice from me, no I dont expect you to do the same im just bored and need some competition. Are you game?

So I went into EB this friday past and preordered Lost Planet: Collecters edition, which by the way scored a nice 8.0 in the new OXM magazine, and gets compared to Metroid style play with incredible huge boss fights, beautifull expansive enviornments, and you can grappling hook around the place! I am still really stoked for this game...but anyways I realised it has been far too long since I have played the DS so I decided to buy Castlevania: Portrait Of Ruin as well, seeing as I heard good things about it. Unfortunatley I have not had the pleasure of playing Dawn Of Sorrow yet (and there were no copies to buy there..) so I haven't experienced any of this newage Castlevania goodness, but man two hours in and im hooked. It is Super Metroid taken to the extreme, you are constantly collecting new gear and abilitys to traverse this huge castle, and you even have magic abilitys and levels so it has some very nice rpg elements to it. The diversity of the game lies in the great level design as you hunt for these paintings around the castle that suck you into another world, the first one I went into was some sort of seperate city and the second one im in right now is some kind of twisted carnival of death theme lol. The graphics, soundtrack and anime presentation make it a top notch game for the DS and the gameplay is so tight its hard to put this thing down. I think unfortunatley this is one of those great games that got overshadowed during the holiday rush, already I consider it a 9+ game, its fantastic. And whats more is that I got all this awesome stuff with it! Like some kind of 20th anniversery of the Castlevania franchis so I got a soundtrack cd (that has like 30 songs on it from every different castlevania game ever made!) a Castlevania stylus, a Castlevania case holder for the catridge, an artbook and some cool kind of poster. AWESOME. Im in the process of getting that soundtrack ripped onto my 360, playing some Gears Of War to the original NES castlevania tunes is going to be a trip. My next stop is to definetly get Dawn Of Sorrow, and I highly reccomend Portrait Of Ruin to those of you who haven't played it. Still about a week or two away from Lost Planet being released, probably a week and a half before I get it because living in the far north artic Canada we get stuff late because you know... we suck and stuff. You know I always set out to make short blogs but they always turn into these monsters... no wonder noone reads it hahaha. Any other news? Hmm im stuck in Zelda: Twilight Princess at the moment, at the accursed water temple of course. It seems my hated enemy from Ocarina of Time has made its return to form, to stump me and induce a new level of hatred 10 years later. CURSE YOU ZELDA WATER TEMPLE. Whats worse is I have the official strategy guide and even it dosen't have an answer to what the hell im supposed to be doing. Offical strategy guide of suckiness. Anyone reading this in the know, I have the big key to fight the water temple boss, the whole temple is done except for fighting him, but I seriously ran around for three hours last night trying to find him. If anyone knows where to I go to fight this boss and finally trump my accursed nemesis of a temple, please let me know! Other than that im coming along decent in the game, im almost finished the third dungeon (of nine I believe) and im 23 hours into the game! There is a lot of gameplay in this sucker. Fishing is so fun with the Wiimote that I spent hours just doing that (and collecting crap, which I find annoying but hey im a completist) One last thing to add to this beast blog is that I have decided to keep track of all games I finish this year, because I play a lot and im curious to see if I can beat Dvader.... some people watch tv, some have lives... me I game, and talk about games, and come here for gaming talk and work so I can buy more games! Whats more im going to write a fully fleshed out review for every game I finish this year too, should make the year more fun. Its been too long since I did some reviews. If you have read this far, than congratulations you insane be may as I is!