now... this is something I'm wanting to write down for reasons of being able to keep track of what games I've been able to beat all the way through, guides or no. this will be updated as time progresses.

Games completed (from what I remember) as of 8-30-2008:
Illusion of Gaia (SNES) (I think I did this back in 1998 or 1999)
Breath of Fire (SNES) (same as above as far as time frame; I could be wrong)
Shadow Hearts: Covenant (2004 or 2005)
Final Fantasy X-2 (2006 I think was when I finished it)
Final Fantasy Tactics (PS) (2004 or 2005)

I'll be adding more to this list pretty soon. *grins* enjoy.

Namaarie,
Integra Belladonna

um... not sure where to categorize this at all. other than having a bad day today, I go to myspace just to check on some things and they have their video up for the day. this guy, I kid you not, has one hell of a bug problem. the only thing I'm wondering about is how the hell did this happen? you'll be wondering this question too as you see this video.

Ants Take Over Computer Area

I'm seriously upset about this. last week, I was looking forward to Soul Calibur IV for my PS3. however... looks like I won't be getting into it for a long LONG while. reason? went to GameStop last week to pick up my copy of the limited edition Soul Calibur IV when they tell me at the store they only had me down for the regular version. I sadly enough got in an argument with the people, including the manager of the store about the whole thing, since another manager who was at that store told me it wouldn't be a problem to have my reserve be for the limited edition. the people in the store knew what I was talking about, but they said they couldn't do anything about it. so... it seems as though I had paid off for the regular edition & limited edition strategy guide. man I was so upset about it. I would use another choice of words for this, but I have a feeling I would get banned if I did. either way, what I ended up doing was one that was actually a bit of a livesaver: asked for a refund on my hold & gave up my reservation of the game & strategy guide. this, in turn, has me not interested in the game for a while.

this wasn't a loss for me since I still have other games to play and beat. it just means my future business with GameStop looks pretty murky. as in I most likely will not do business with them in the future. which means the other pre-orders I had with them may ended up either being refunded or given as store credit. either way... eh, I don't know. all I know is that I'm pretty damn disappointed with them. I had defended that store to an extent, but I can see why so many complain about the store. although... I've noticed the main complaint was moreso towards the intelligence level of the people that work there as far as the game knowledge goes. the ones at this store... there isn't any problem with the intelligence level of gaming. their problem is the fact that this happened, even after I had gotten confirmation numerous times that it was for the limited edition version of the game. *sighs* -_- eh, oh well. got plenty of games to keep me occupied.

other than that, things have been okay for me. feeling a lot better due to the crap thats been going on in my life. I'll have to explain in another entry another time. either way, things are a lot better than before. :) anyway, time for me to go! have a good day everyone!

Namaarie,
Integra Belladonna

...SOUL CALIBUR FREAKING IV!!!!!! OMG!!!! money was already put down to reserve the game for myself and now the day is drawing near (2 more days to be exact) that it'll be in my own hands, special edition and all. yes, I went for the special edition version of Soul Calibur IV for the PS3. this includes tin metal casing, black T-shirt with Darth Vader & Misturughi (sp??) on it (not sure on what size its going to be), the game itself, of course, and also the limited edition strategy guide which comes with a free soundtrack for the game itself.

I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!! I'm kinda acting like a kid at Christmas, which is something I haven't done in a long while. you know... come to think of it, I don't remember acting like this even when I was a little kid at Christmas. probably because I already knew what I was getting due to my mom. lol. pretty sad. eh, oh well. either way, I can't wait, can't wait, can't wait!!! oh, did I mention I can't wait for this game? *giggles*

sorry. you're reading the entry of a goth gamer who's going crazy over a game. I'll explain more or provide an update of what's been going on with me with the gaming world. have fun today everyone!

Namaarie,
Integra Belladonna

not that they would care anyway, but I'm just now finding the words to express the disappointment I have towards them. I had heard about what was going on with the two most anticipated Final Fantasy games: FFXIII & FFvsXIII. that they were also going the route of Xbox360. what a stab in the back to have it no longer be a PS3 exclusive. call me a Sony fangirl all you want, but I just do not like the Xbox360. I don't.

I was thinking, for a small moment, about getting the Xbox360 because of the fact of all the RPGs that were coming out for it. but I had faith in the fact that FF would continue to bring more entertainment for the PS3 with these highly anticipated games, games I had heard about a year or 2 ago. hearing of all that they were going to do with the PS3, making it the most beautiful game probably of all PS3 games to date when it came time for release. also use the technology that is in the PS3 to prove its power. now... what's the point? what truly is the point of it now? now its just another game. its painful for me to say that since I'm a Final Fantasy fan, but... this is what it has come to. I mean... why do this? why promise something in collaboration with a system, and yet do something else entirely different? I'm almost of the conclusion that the technology behind the PS3 is so "complex" to other companies that its why they don't have many games available for the PS3. as far as the RPGs go.

its with painful regret that any hope I have for Final Fantasy is dead. the games that I have... I'll still love to death. but Final Fantasy XIII... I no longer have interest in. not one single bit whatsoever. Nintendo... I don't bash because thats where it all started for Final Fantasy. its nostalgic. Playstation enhanced it. now the hype with this game is dead, all because they let Microsoft sweet talk them into making the game available for them. Konami didn't cave into the pressure for Metal Gear Solid 4. why did Square?

Square, I have lost faith in you. not that you care since you're going to be getting all your money for this anyway. you're sure as hell not getting any money from me when your games come out. if its DS, then thats one thing. PS2, I'll still get since I have to find the ones I love and have loved for so long. but XIII... nope. you've just lost my business from here on in with any games you make in the future.

as I have mentioned before, I am a goth. couple of days ago, while looking on a thread about the different ringtones everyone has, it got me wanting to look for a couple more ringtones for my phone. mainly ones by The Cure. there were a couple of others that I had gotten, but The Cure was what I was looking for. last night, I wanted to look one more time for any ringtones that appealed to me. I had found one. I loved it so much that I wanted to look for the song itself. its a song by The Cure called "Fear of Ghosts." it touched me so much I wanted to look for the lyrics that followed the beautiful melody. the lyrics were just as beautiful. I highly suggest looking for it on YouTube or if you have any way of downloading music, this is one song to at least take a look at. here are the lyrics I found for it. I'll post the link up to the video sometime if I can. hope you enjoy!

Fear of Ghosts
by The Cure

like a feeling that i'm down
deep inside my heart
like i'm looking out through
splitting blood red
windows in my heart
from a higher up than heaven
and a harder down than stone
shake the fear that always clawing
pulls me clawing down alone
as i spitting splitting blood red
breaking windows in my heart
and the past is taunting
fear of ghosts
is forcing me apart
and the further i get
from the things that i care about
the less i care about
how much further away i get...

i am lost again
with everything gone
and more alone
than i have ever been
i expect you to understand
to feel it too
but i know that even if you will
you cannot ever help me
nor can i
ever help you

***UPDATE 6-26-2008***
as mentioned, I would post up the YouTube video on it when I had the chance to, so... here it is if anyone is curious as to how it sounds:

Fear of Ghosts by The Cure

for those who may have noticed my banner and avatar and such, not only am I a goth gamer, but I also do some artwork on occasion. I'm currently trying to see what my creative little mind can come up with for the unions I'm part of (The RPG Temple & Death Note Union). however, if anyone requests I make anything for them, by all means, ask away. I would love to see what I can do for ye.

if anyone is interested in my artwork, just go to my gallery, which is in my MySpace page (if anyone befriends me), or my Deviant Art gallery.

My Art Gallery:

My Myspace:

please, by all means, provide feedback and let me know if its something you're interested in. have a good one! time to work on my next entry, which is my gaming update! lol.

Namaarie,
Integra Belladonna

I forgot to add this on here in my previous entry, but then I got to thinking... why not just make it a separate entry? :D

so... just to add to here, these are the current games I have on reserve at my local stores around where I live.

Soul Calibur IV
Prince of Persia

these are the games I'm planning on reserving sometime tomorrow (if I have the funds to be able to reserve it and if they allow for reserve/pre-order):
Final Fantasy IV (DS)
Disgaea 3 (PS3)
Order Up! (Wii) (along with a Wii)
Disgaea DS (DS)

if anyone has any recommendations for me as far as what other games to have on reserve, please let me know. I'm always looking for more games to add to my collection. I'm more of the RPG type of girl, but please, feel free to add in more that you think I'll be interested in. Thanks!

Namaarie,
Integra Belladonna

I think I've decided to have this be a bit more in depth look at what games I'm getting into, which ones I'm planning on, and, on a rare occasion, share my opinions about other things in this world. even though I have a livejournal for the serious stuff. lol.

anyway, here's what's going on.

as of last Friday, June 6th 2008, this is what's going on in my life as far as games:

had gotten myself a Nintendo DS as a treat for myself. :) its all black and I'll post a picture of it when I get a chance to. its beautiful. *giggles*
as for games for it, I only was able to afford one game for it and that was Summon Night Twin Age. reason I picked it up? Atlus game. I've been a huge fan of that company ever since Growlanser and Odin Sphere. so far I haven't been disappointed with it yet. I highly doubt I will. lol. I'll post a review up here of the game when I get a chance to.

Future plans: Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles for the DS
Lego Indiana Jones for the PS3 (it looks cute)
save up enough money to get a Wii & the game Order Up! (the game itself looks cute too and rather creative)

well, thats about it for right now. I'll be back in here with a further update. have fun!

Namaarie,
Integra Belladonna

*chuckles* yes, I say goth gamer. phrase coined by one of my friends while they were drunk one night talking about video games. so... after much thought on it, I was thinking of using it and making it a banner of sorts to show what I am. lol. I'm still debating on it.

how this applies as truth? well... first off, if you couldn't tell by my pic on here, I'm a goth. *smirks* have been for a long while, never really considered myself one until I took an observation of my taste with fashion, music, and art. big fan of The Cure, This Ascension, Diary of Dreams, Project Pitchfork, Bella Morte, and I could go on and on about the bands I love. that I'll save for another time. lol.

the gamer part... that has a longer history than the goth part. it started off small, such as going to arcades and spending either quarters or tokens to play a good game like Mortal Kombat & MKII. then, my brother-in-law got me a SNES system which I fell in love with. it came with a game that he and my sister got me, which was Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. the game list expanded after that for a little while to games like Illusion of Gaia, Breath of Fire, Secret of Evermore, and The Adventures of Dr. Franken. high school approached, and the gaming took an upgrade when my friend brought over his Playstation along with his game collection and I got hooked even more. such games like Final Fantasy VIII (played), Parasite Eve (played), Legend of Dragoon (watched being played), Final Fantasy Tactics (played & watched being played), and Final Fantasy VII (watched being played), I wanted this new console. later on in my high school career, it upgraded yet again, but to the Playstation2, which was interesting. I didn't have any games at first for it, but after I moved to New York for a while (I was in Texas for the beginning part of my life) and witnessed the games for the PS2, I took notice to it even more. watching games such as Final Fantasy X, X-2, XII, Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus, Suikoden III & IV (I think), Suikoden Tactics, and many more that I can't list off, there were some games I took up and got right back into a small hybernation from gaming. then the Wii came out, got it, but didn't really use it for much gaming (bf at the time used it more for Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess). before Wii, there was the Xbox360, which I wasn't entirely too impressed with. played Enchanted Arms (biggest mistake of my life), Bullet Witch (only game I like for the 360 and used to own it before it got lost with my luggage) and Dead or Alive 4 (belonged to my bf at the time, as did the 360).

PS2 made a comeback for me with Odin Sphere, Grownlanswer Generations (watched it being played), Growlanswer Heritage of War, Shadow Hearts: Covenant, Shadow Hearts: From the New World. I currently own more games for the PS2 than any other due to my love for it. then... lo and behold the PS3 walked into my life. :) Genji: Days of the Blade, Heavenly Sword & Folklore took my heart as I became amazed with its power. I own other games for the PS3 as well, but for the console, those are my favorites. I wasn't sure about the PS3 at first until I heard about Final Fantasy XIII being exclusive for the PS3. that sold me since I'm a Final Fantasy fan. ;) got hooked to other games along the way like Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock and Rock Band, which are relaxers for me for whenever I'm stressed out about something. then PSP introduced itself to me, in which case after that I own the Daxter entertainment pack since it came highly recommended. loving the PSP due to Final Fantasy Tactics being re-released for the PSP and then, of course Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core. ooooh. that game makes me have happy thoughts just thinking about it. lol. looking into more games for my PSP like God of War Chains of Olympus. :)

the PC games I had watched being played from time to time, seeing games like Civilization III and Age of Wonders did catch a small bit of curiosity. Neverwinter Nights introduced me to playing on the PC to make it more fun. then along came Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines and that game is a whole hell of a lot of fun. has the two things I love: a goth world with vampires and gaming fun. lol. what more can a girl ask for? :P after that, I got interested in a game I didn't know was an MMORPG: Guild Wars. the cover art got me curious and I didn't know much about it. thankfully this place exists to where I was able to ask people about the game to determine whether or not to get into it. I haven't regretted it since.

I can't wait to see what else is in store for games. my wish list provides a clear expectation of what I'm looking for and what I want. I just hope I'm not disappointed. lol.

well, there you have it. my first introduction of myself. my name is Integra Aradia Belladonna, and I'm a goth gamer. pleased to meet you. :) I'm not sure what else to do with this blog other than probably post a bit more about where I'm currently at in a game. I still have to think about it. lol. either way, I have to get going and get ready for work. until next time!

Namaarie,
Integra Belladonna