So, about three months ago I started seeing this girl. She had recently broken up with a guy that she dated long distance for 3 of the 4 years they were together. From what I can gather their relationship was somewhat distant, (emotionally), even for a long distance relationship. (She's 20 and I'm 18 for context). By this I mean, she was used to only talking to him a few times a week, or once a day at most, via e-mail, or a short series of texts. Never talked on the phone. Never Skyped.
Anyway, we are not long distance, we both live on campus at the same school, (down south), and she's an RA. For the first month or so it was difficult for me because she would rarely text me or not really converse with me and think it was normal to not see me at all for a day. Now this does sound clingy, but at the same time we've all been in that new romance stage, and both parties usually want to see each other all the time. It would seem to me that in the puppy love stage that, when living 100 feet away from someone in the same building, a kiss goodnight or a meal together or something would be a given.
Long story short, we fought about it a little and she realized she was treating me like we were dating long distance, she was stuck in that mode. We hungout all the time for the remainder of the semester. Then we came home for break. She instantly changed. At her home she's a slave to her parents, made to do everything. Her mom plans on moving in with her once her youngest sister goes to college, but she doesn't see this as controlling or odd behavior, she thinks it's normal. Her family stresses her to no end.
Anyway, the entire break was more of the same, indifferent texting/communication, some fights here and there over silly stuff, but I could tell that she was different. She was angry and defensive since the moment we got back. Finally, the day before she's to leave, (she goes back early for RA stuff), we had a blow out and, after I told her my point of view, she said she finally realized that she was treating me like her ex, and not giving me the reassurance and affection you give someone you just started dating. She was treating me like a man, (generally, not literally HIM, but anyone), she'd been with for four years, which can obviously cause confusing issues. She said she was so sorry, cried, and begged me for one more chance to be a better girlfriend and have a happy relationship. I cheered her up and said of course because she's amazing, adjective, adjective, blah, blah, etc.
We hung out the rest of that day, it was great, cuddled, kissed, etc. Then, she dropped me off, and on the way home I said I was worried her mom didn't like me. She thought I meant that I didn't like her mom, or some silly, I need to start a fight, girl thing. She went home and her mom told her that I was awful and she'd never be happy, so she then told me she wanted to end it. I explained to her over the phone that her mom was projecting her unhappiness on us, and that her mother didn't know me well enough to judge me, and all other manner of logical arguments. Within 20 minutes she calmed down from her emotional breakdown and everything was alright. She apologized for doing that to me.
Obviously I was bent out of shape, she had told me she was ending it. Like, what do you do with that? When everything goes from, YAY WE FINALLY STOPPED FIGHTING AND SHE KNOWS HOW TO MAKE IT ALL BETTER, to WE'RE BREAKING UP? to Oh... just forget it happened.
But here's the kicker, she goes back to school, and starts the same behavior as before. She says she needs space, and so I just leave her alone for three days. No communication. Why does she need space when she knows, logically, that everything was okay until the silly thing happened with her mom, who she admitted got it wrong? From my perspective everything was okay, then she panicked at the thought of falling in love again and started a huge problem, and now I'm to suffer until I can get back up there and help make this right again. Thoughts?
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