I was enjoying my waffle at the local IHOP when the waitress came over and asked "more coffee, hun?"

Hun? Easy, lady. We just met, and you're already using terms of endearment? And besides that, aren't you, like, 50 or something? I just don't see it working out between us. I need to figure out a way to break her off gently.

Where else can you find conversations like this...?

• n-re: why do you like gamespot?
• Oleg_Huzwog: You know that average-looking chick who surrounds herself with ugly friends so she looks prettier by comparison? Yeah, that's why.
• gunswordfist: You're a chick? No way!
• Oleg_Huzwog: Why does everyone find that so hard to believe?
• gunswordfist: WAIT YOU WERE FOR REAL!! Oh, sorry if I offended you. I was making a joke because I assumed you were making a joke. Sorry again.
• -eddy-: I'd think a joke was being made. :o
• gunswordfist: Yeah I know. It sounded like a complete joke to me. Had no clue she was a she.
• -eddy-: No no, I think he(?) was joking about being a she. I've always totally thought her (?) to be a he. no I'm confused :[
• gunswordfist: She's sounded pretty serious so I think she's a she.
• -eddy-: Could be then. Just knowing Olegz reputation, everything can't be taken seriously. :P
• -FlyLo-: He hasn't responded. Therefore he's a he and he's watching and laughing.

Link for the curious.

Gamertag: Huzwog

Yeah, so I'm a late bloomer. Anyhoo, there it is. If you want to kick ass in Rock Band 2 with someone who sucks, look no further!

Mariners players performed pretty well during this year's World Baseball Classic.

For Venezuela...

• Jose Lopez hit .417 and led the tourney in extra-base hits
• Endy Chavez hit .348
• Felix Hernandez went 2-0 and didn't give up a run

For Japan...

• Kenji Johjima hit .333
• Ichiro hit a mediocre .273, but led the tourney in hits and knocked in the game-winner for the title

It's not foolish to feel optimism for the upcoming MLB season based upon WBC stats, is it? Hmmm... yeah, it probably is.

I know the Mariners are in rebuilding mode, but they aren't going to enter Spring Training with this roster, are they? Where are the hitters? The power potential is abysmal. Adrian Beltre is solid; he'll likely hit third. Jose Lopez's inconsistency is beyond frustrating, but he did manage to tally 40 doubles last year, so I can see the team taking him out of his normal #2 spot in the lineup and sliding him down to fifth. One of the new slap-hitters (Franklin Gutierrez or Endy Chavez) can take Lopez's place behind Ichiro.

But that still leaves the glaring question of who hits cleanup. Will it be the backup catcher, Jeff Clement and his .227 average? Maybe Sexson's heir-apparent, Russell Branyan and his career ratio of 1 strikeout for every 2.5 at bats? How about Kenji Johjima and his .609 OPS?

Nope. There is nobody on this roster who has any business hitting 4th. Which is why it's time those rumors of Griffey's return become reality. What do the Mariners have to lose? Junior's still a popular name in Seattle. Give him a one-year deal for around $5 million or so, and the boost in ticket and merchandise sales would easily cover the cost. As for on-field production, he only needs 15-20 homeruns to be considered better than the alternatives.

Feb 15th - WWE No Way Out

Haha! I haven't watched wrestling in years, but this should be fun. Pay per views are when they do the crazy stuff (cage matches, etc.). I went to Wrestlemania with some buddies when it was in Seattle a few years back, and we had a blast.

I'm way up in the nose-bleed section, but who cares? It'll be fun to turn my brain off for an evening and just go nuts.

He's a 33 year old ballplayer who has never had a regular starting job, has played for 5 different clubs over the previous 3 seasons, hits for power, can't hit for average, strikes out a lot, and is expected to start for the Mariners at 1B or DH.

In summary: he's a crappier version of Richie Sexson. I now have a new least favorite player. Hooray!

...when it comes to defense. At least one Seattle Mariner has won a Gold Glove every year since 1987. As far as I can tell, that's the longest active streak for any team. Check it out:

Mark Langston, P, 87-88
Harold Reynolds, 2B, 88-90
Ken Griffey Jr, OF, 90-99
Omar Vizquel, SS, 93
Jay Buhner, OF, 96
John Olerud, 1B, 00, 02-03
Mike Cameron, OF, 01, 03
Ichiro Suzuki, OF, 01-08
Bret Boone, 2B, 02-04
Adrian Beltre, 3B, 07-08

At least we have something to boast about in Seattle.

A sincere round of congratulatory applause deservedly goes to the 2008 Seattle Mariners. They have successfully entered their names into the history books as the very first 100-100 team. That's a $100 million payroll and 100 losses.

Three cheers for the bums of Safeco!

Hip Hip... HOORAY!
Hip Hip... HOORAY!
Hip Hip... HOORAY!

Miguel Batista! As of today, the bottom 3 worst VORPs (Value Over Replacement Player) are:

1. Miguel Batista, SEA
2. Tony Pena, KC
3. Boof Bonser, MIN

It takes a special kind of bum to post a VORP of -21.1, as Batista has so far. In simple terms, that means he's given up 21 more runs than you'd expect from a typical minimum wage-earning pitcher that enters Spring Training struggling to avoid roster cuts.

What happened to this guy? I was excited having a 16 game winner sitting in the #5 spot of the rotation. His home numbers are abysmal: 8.26 ERA, 2.06 WHIP, .317 BAA. I didn't think those numbers were possible in Safeco.