I had a friend who thought I was 30. man oh man...

is it my very intelligent selection of vocabulary?

my manly ;ady-grabbin' sexyness?

or is it just because I haven't made myself KNOWN yet...

anyway... IM NOT 30

btw, check out my KillZone 2 review.

and everyone join the Twisted Metal Union : The Twisted Union because it is the awesommmest union ever!!!!!!

MASTEROFSPRITES IS THE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST!!!!

Wow, and that it is. I got a job. Pays great. I got my first two games in a long time. Killzone 2 and Devil May Cry 4. But man oh man. Life's a wreck right now. I love work and everything, but everyone else sucks. Like my grandma's all emotional because she got "laid off". So she went totally wacko on me mostly. Like today at work, I messed up my foot and I have to keep it in the air. I come home hoping for a good dinner and I get a bone dry, crusty hamburger helper. And I'm not athiest but I'm pretty sure God hates me. I go to order pizza and for some reason the Pizza Hut doesn't anwser the phone. WOWZERS!

Anyway I make my grandma angry with EVERYTHING I say. Literally. So I'm waiting to get kicked out again and hit either juvi or my long lost mom. I wonder if I'll ever get to meet her...

I never thought I'd say it. After years of PlayStation loyalty, all of us Sony [only] fans just got totally PWND!

Microsoft just announced that MGS is going to be on 360. OUCH! SONY BETRAYED US!

They also announced PROJECT NATAL, that just might kill all other gaming experience.

I mean we just got conqured! I'd rather see no PlayStation at all, rather than see us getting beat. Microsoft just kicked our butts!

How do we compete now?

I haven't blogged in a while, so I brought each of you a bag of goodies! Well, there's no bag, but check this out! Lately I've acquired a taste for buying independently (indie) made games. I've downloaded a bunch of these games, and I'm killing my paycheck, but I know that if I ever make games, at first, they will be indie games. So check this out! I found this cool website that has a list of the top 100 indie games available, and while I have to dissagree that they're not the best, most of them are really cool and fun to play. So check that out! I'm also looking foreward to E3 which I will be watching commercial free on G4TV! Oh my god, I hope They announce the PSP2! or at least a buttload of good games for the PSP. Unfortunately, I sense a disturbance in the force ; I have a feeling that they will stop production of PS2 games and consoles. The end of an era! June 1st everybody! Yay!

Okay, I'll start off by saying that I'm sorry I bored you with my personal problems. Now I'll say that I'm getting back to my routine.

I got a question. I know how to build a computer, but should I spend the money on building a custom PC? I want an AMD/ATI "Dragon" platform so bad! Man I know exactly what I want too! Should I spend my summer cash on that or should I save up for a Wii? I love Resident Evil so much I want the GameCube and Wii versions really bad! So you guys tell me what I should get.

I saw Fast and Furious on Friday, and it was great. Still doesn't compare to the first though. The first is still on top! If they ever make a Fast and Furious film that beats the firs, pigs will fly!

And also, I'm psyched about the new Eminem album, Relapse!

Okay, I know I'm fat and lazy, but this summer I'm going on a FRUIT ONLY diet and I'm gonna lose weight like an anerexic chick! All to be able to ask a certian someone out. She's a good enough reason to lose weight!

You have no idea how angry I am right now. I'm 14 years old, and the only reason why I've been trying, is to impress my parents. My grandma kicked me out and my dad took me in and then my dad kicked me out and my grandma took me in. But I'm pretty sure shes going to kick me out again. Oh, well. How do I describe this feeling? When I got kicked from my grandmas house into my dad's, I was devastated. I went all negative viewing the glass half empty, you know? I always wanted to go back to my grandma's, and she wanted me back too I think. But my dad had me in his grip. He wouldn't let me go back. He wouldn't let grandma take me back. But I always felt that it would be all better when I went back. If I went back. I got so furious at the things I had to do when Maylen left. All of a sudden, I was responsible for everything that went wrong. It felt like even though dad was there, I was alone because my dad never talked to me unless he was yelling at me. I was to cook his meals, clean his messes, take care of his dogs and do everything for dad that he should've been doing for me. I didn't even eat breakfast or dinner anymore because I didn't want to. The only reason I didn't just stop was to make my dad and grandma happy, even though my dad was depressed. Being around a depressed person is contagious. You get depressed. And he was all that was there. I got depressed and stayed in my room most of the time. I didn't even want to play videogames anymore. All I did was do my schoolwork and work for dad, without any reward. I remember when report card time came around, I was so happy with my grades (all B's except for algebra which I've failed all year) I actually showed dad in hpes that something would make him happy. And do you know what he said? "They're not A's, are they?" That's when I realized that I couldn't make dad happy, no matter how hard I tried. So I gave up. I quit trying. I even stopped making dinner for dad, doing my homework, and cleaning. I just didn't care. I remember for two months straight, I came home from school and went straight to bed. I never told my grandma because I didn't want to upset her. I didn't care about my dad. Then one day I let our three dogs out and they ran around town. I called dad and told him I needed help. He told me "When I get home you better have your bags packed, because I'm tired of fixing your problems." That's when I moved back. I was so happy I was moving back until I got here. I still had that negative outlook, and that careless, hateful view of things. I tried to let that all go, and start making grandma proud. But today I was in the kitchen, when my sister told my grandma that Makayla (my cousin) told her that I was sing the song "My Dick". I said Makayla was singing it but I told her to stop saying that word. And she did. I changed the words to my "Twizzler", and we both sung the song, laughing. My sister told my grandma that I was actually cussing. Who's Grandma going to believe? A supposedly Athiust kid, or a Christian, non-cussing, almost angelic, kid? My sister.

Part III later.

Okay, I'll admit, the title of the post is completely random and has nothing to do with chickens, or satanism. Well, maybe a little. I'm disgusted! I just moved back from The Hole of Holes, and I'm either going to get sent back or sent to a home for boys. Now, I have to explain this. This is happening BECAUSE of one very good reason, or as my grandma likes to call it, an excuse. But I swear I have my reasons. It goes WAY back. My grandmother, bless her heart, is a very religious woman. And, technically, this makes this whole situation HER fault. Because SHE introduced my sister and my dad to Chritianity. Now, that's not a problem. I'm actually very thankful that my sister has a God heavily involved in her life. It leads her not to cuss, do drugs, alcohol, smoke, or have premaridal sex. I am SO thankful for that. Plus, my dad JUST got into the whole religion thing. He's a Mormon. Not that that's abad thing. Having a religion, and the whole purpose of religion, despite what the religion may be, is to make you a better person. But my dad just lost his girl, Maylen, who,if you have kept up with my blog, you will know of as the SUPREME EVIL. And that is what fueled his desire for some fufillment in his life. And,while it lasted (two weeks ago he LIVED for the church), it was good for him. I was thankful that he didn't come home and MURDER me. If you didn't catch that one, I meant he as anger issues. But the church really helped him. It also helps my sister, and my grandma.

But here's where the catch is... WAIT FOR IT...! Ah, there it is. ON FREAKING SUNDAY ONLY PEOPLE.

Yes, they are happy with the fufillment they get from the church on sunday. The rest of the week, everyone seems like theyre having one of those PSYCHOBIYATCH periods, that everyone hates. And, With my grandma and sister belonging to one church, and my dad belonging to another, there's a LOT of drama in the family. NOW GET THIS! My dad, just two weeks ago, got a new girl. She's REALLY nice, has a son that likes everything I do,who is almost my age, and seems to be almost always relaxed and careless, but at the same time can be a great mother and great girlfriend. And thats all good...

...BUT, she DOES in fact party and drink, which totally butt-raped my dad's spiritual status! He, now does the same as (pronounced shelly) Chelly! I mean he was doing great! He went to church every sunday and all the other days when the church was active, he gained a VERY respectable wardrobe (suits and freaking ties people), heALMOST quit smoking, he ALMOST quit cussing, but now, it's gone!

That's not the problem though. That just added to the Jesse's p***ed off thing, while I was living at my dad's. No, the problem is, in fact,that my ENTIRE family, in fact, thinks that I am, in fact, ATHIUST! And this stuff, when an entire family shares one town, gets around FAST! Everyone in school think's I'm Athiust!

Have I ever stated that there is no God? I THINK NOT! This is freaking rediculous. And NOW one of the teachers pulled a joke! He said, and I quote, "Jesse, when you snap, please don't kill me first."

I keep getting these comments too. Now I know it's spring and temperatures are rising, but I have to wear a hoodie, all the way zipped, or I feel exposed. I don't know why. It's just me. But I got a comment today. A dude said that the reason I wear a hoodie all the way zipped up, it to "hide the bombs strapped to my body". This is rediculous! I would never and could never, kill anybody! This has gone way farther than it should! I'm not stretching the truth the slightest bit! THESE COMMENTS ARE CONSTANT! EVERYBODY, INCLUDING MY FAMILY IS SAYING THIS CRAP! IT WENT ON THREE HOURS STRAIGHT THIS MORNING, AND WENT ON THROUGHOUT THE DAY!

Tomorrow : Part II : Why Do They Think This? Putting Pieces Together.

Okay, on my last blog nobody posted, and it made me wonder if I'm still keeping your intrest. I needed advice last time, and the time before that, I talked about the game I'm planning on making. So you tell me if I'm just a boring guy, or if you forgot I exist, or what. Because I KNOWI'm not the only one looking foreward to the new Jak and Daxter.

Well, if you have read this blog before, you know that I've been a fan of Jak and Daxter since the first game was released. I got the first game when it first came out. Black Label. Although I was young so I didn't take care of my games. I didn't know that the game would be a collectors item just eight years later. Then I was watching the TV one day and I saw a commercial of Jak II. Got it Black Label, loved it more than I loved the Precourser Legacy, and didn't take care of that game. Became a collectors item. Then Jak 3, Black Label, when it first came out, and Jak X, Black Label, when it first came out. Both are considered a rare (Black Label, Greatest Hits are very common) find. And now with the announcement of Jak And Daxter : The Lost Frontier, I'm all hopped up. I don't even care if it's on the PlayStation 2 (now considered, to an extent, a dead console) and PSP, I'm standing in line for it if I have to. I'm buying it! The only thing that worries me though is the new developer, High Impact Games. High Impact Games are known for their work on Ratchet And Clank : Size Matters, and Secret Agent Clank. That's a problem right there. There has always been a fued between R&C and J&D, and for the (partial) developer, High Impact Games, to be making a Jak and Daxter game... It's just not right! The raping of my childhood continues! But, that's my only worry. I got my fingers crossed that this game will be as superb as the previous games in the series. And for my thought on the PS2 and PSP thing, if you ask me, that's where the series has always been and that's where it should stay until production (of the PS2 and PSP consoles) stops. But, I'm happy that it's being released. But this all leads to one thing. The renewing of my Jak and Daxter collection. I've always loved the games and I still do. So I'm rebuying all those games in brand new (or mint if it's impossible to find a new one) Black Label condition. And I'm off to a good start. While I was living with my dad, I got my hands on a brand new Black Label copy of The Precourser Legacy. And yesterday, I was on ebay searching for Jak II and 3, and I found a new Black Label Jak 3 being bid on by a bunch of people. I didn't win, but the game sold for over $90!! It made me kind of break inside because, (since I lost my job) I dont have $90. But God must have wanted me to have that game because on a trip to the town Alco, I found a Black Label copy of Jak 3 for $25!!! The game was actually one of those bargain 3 pack games, but it came with a copy of FlatOut 2 (which I already have) and DT Racer (which I haven't played yet) but I got Jak 3 brand new Black Label, with the Y-seal style factory wrapping in pristine condition, security strip on top, and everything looking perfect with the exception of one small dent in the back which I'll circle for you. But I just can't open it! Maybe it's pride or something, but it sold for $90 on ebay, and I just feel that I's an artifact of my past in perfect condition! I can't do it! But, I bought it so I can play it. So, why can't I open it? The other copy I have doesn't work, but I feel that I should go through the story once more before the release of Lost Frontier.

So you leave a comment, should I open it? Yes or No?

Here's some pictures :

Anyone who has actually kept up with these blogs will know about my huge love of games [this is GameSpot after all] and will know about the hopes for my future. I want to be a game programmer. I figured, I love games, I'm a great artist, and I appreciate dark music. Not like heavy metal or emo rock type of dark but more of a classical, orchestral type of dark music. I'm always thinking about a dark, industrial, atmosphere. Dark clouds rolling by, raining, but softened up by a little bit of bright here and there. That's what I think I want my game to be. Really depressing, sad, and haunting, but still an extremely enjoyable atmosphere. I want my game to suck you in and keep you addicted. Twisted Metal Black was one of those huge inspirations to me. And I'm not a fake or a poser, and I'm not going to copy the style of games like that, but that's what I want my game to feel like. And I'm not sure if It'll be a shooter or a racer or platformer. I dont know what it will be now, but we'll see how it comes along. I plan to do this all in C++. So far, I've learned BASIC, and C but I'm anxious to move on and learn C++. It's a very powerful tool, and I think I can do wonders with it. I have with BASIC and C so, even though it's a more advanced language, I think I'll manage. I'm using Microsoft's Visual C++ with Dark GDK, and since I'm just learning the language, my first C++ game will probably be a 2D game, but I'll go from there. I will update regularly. I'm thinking every Monday or Tuesday, but we'll see. Oh, yeah and one last thing! Due to the recent release of Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars, I went out to get a DS and the game. And I'm loving the game, it's freaking addictive. And, yes I know the DSi is coming quickly, but I had to get a new DS Lite mainly because of the GameBoy backwards compatibility. I hear the DSi replaced the cartrige slot with an SD card slot, which makes sense if the DSi has 2 cameras.

Leave a comment, keep your eyes on my blog, and I'll return the favor.