I went to the doctor today to get rid of a batch of herpes I got over the weekend (the whore told me she was clean :evil: ) and I found out that I fit into the catergory of people at risk for the dreaded flu. The same dreaded flu that gives you a cold for 2 days, and causes you to MAYBE miss one day of work. So the doc gives me the flu shot, and I am almost positive that in about 3 days, I'll be flat on my ass, half dead from contracting the damn Asian Fever (which was the reason I got herpes in the first place). So if I die in a couple days, you can blame it on the flu shot, or....

Blame it on P Diddy, since I am sure he's after me for not voting. I guarantee he's got some sick list of non-voters, and is some kind of Death Santa, bringing pain and destruction to all the stupid foo's who didn't vote. Speaking of the subject, I was asked probably 30 times today if I am going to vote, when I am going to vote, or who I am voting for. First off, it's nobodies f****ing business who I vote for. Second, I ain't voting for nobody. I'm not an incredibly wealthy rich white man with business interests, so Kerry and Bush don't give a rats ass about me. And as for voting on local matters, I wouldn't know who 99 percent of the people on the ballot all, so for all I know, I could be voting for a child molester!

So after I went to the doctors office, I swung by Wal Mart to see if they had Up your Arsenal yet. No dice. But I did notice something. Is it just me, or do all Wal Mart employees look like they were recruited from Alabama trailer parks? They all have more letters in their first name than teeth in their mouths, and considering most of them are named Bill or Joe or Cindi, that's not a good thing. And what's with these old greeter guys? Never has anyone greeted me while I walked into a Wal Mart. I guess a 6'5" large white man doesn't need his day brightened up? Well piss off greeters, I hope you all break your hips. Most of these Wal Mart employees just love their jobs too. They seem like they would rather be mens room attendants at George Michael's house. Oh well, when your stuck in that type of crappy job, wouldn't YOU rather be whacked off by a washed up 80's pop star too?

I got this very random AIM tonight, check it out:

XBOX Killah: Why do you act all hard on a videogame forum?
XXVanillaGorilla: Uh, example please?
XBOX Killah: you know exactly what I mean, your always acting like a lil b!tch, going off on people
XBOX Killah: grow up and treat people with some respect
XXVanillaGorilla: Ok, will do, annonymous person
XBOX Killah: answer the question
XBOX Killah: Why do you act all hard on a videogame forum?
XXVanillaGorilla: I treat people the way they deserve to be treated, if they are 13 year old morons who can't spell or put together a sentence, I'm not gonna just post "lol" or an indifferent smiley
XBOX Killah: HOW ABOUT IGNORING IT AND MOVE ON
XXVanillaGorilla: And I don't consider my behavior as "act(ing) all hard"
XBOX Killah: Ok clown
XBOX Killah: you think your all old
XBOX Killah: your in HS for christs sake
XXVanillaGorilla: Man, if I'm 12 days from turning 20, and still in high school, then I must be an idiot
XBOX Killah: pretty much
XXVanillaGorilla: I guess I could fit in with 95% of OT though
XXVanillaGorilla: Or 100% of System Wars
XBOX Killah: i never mention any of those damn forums
XBOX Killah: think before you type, i dont care how stupid the other person looks
XBOX Killah: goodbye
XXVanillaGorilla: Think before I type?
XBOX Killah: yes, you confused?
XXVanillaGorilla: That doesn't make much sense, since I only "act hard" to the idiots who DON'T do that
XBOX Killah: whatever VT
XBOX Killah: im out
XXVanillaGorilla: Whatever, I'll still be doing what I do, and you can keep Killin' Xbox's
XXVanillaGorilla: We cool G?
XXVanillaGorilla: A'ight
XXVanillaGorilla: VG out, ya heard!?
XBOX Killah: No, we far from "cool"
XXVanillaGorilla: Awwwww yeah
XBOX Killah: watch your step
XXVanillaGorilla: I hear ya dogg

Very odd indeed. I wonder what he means by "act all hard"?



Yo yo yo, this is ya boy VG from the D.O.C., kickin' it with the M.A.P. Ya'l busters!

And nobody cares, not even me.

There, got that out of the way.

Courtest of Food Network.com

1. Mix
Mix soy flour, sugar substitute, eggs, heavy cream, and club soda until it resembles a thick pancake batter. Spray two 12-inch round pizza pans with nonstick spray and spread a thin layer of batter over each.

2. Bake
Bake soy flour flatbread for 12-15 minutes, rotating halfway through cooking.

3. Saute
Season chicken with salt, pepper, cayenne, and cumin before sauteing in a skillet on high heat.

4. Add
Next, add the peppers and red onion. Remove from the heat and add the tequila. Place skillet back on the stove to finish cooking the chicken and vegetables, about 5 minutes more.

5. Layer
Cut both flatbreads into 4 pieces. Layer each triangle with cheese, the chicken and vegetable mixture, and then more cheese. Top with another triangle of flatbread.

6. Brown
Heat butter in a large skillet over medium-hight heat. Add quesadillas and cook, about two minutes on each side, until flatbread is browned and the cheese has melted.

 

7. Serve
Garnish with sour cream, guacamole, and chopped cilantro before serving.







I am Vanilla F. Gorilla, and I approved this message.

I always get a kick out of some of the garbage on Off Topic. One particular kind of poop is political threads, or, more specific, threads in which people try to convert other forumites over to their way of thinking. Why? Who knows. Maybe because they want to show off to a bunch of complete strangers the fact that they know more about Israeal and the current state of the Federal Reserve and all that crap. Maybe. Or maybe, they are such radicals that they actually think they can influence other people to think their way, OVER A VIDEO GAMES MESSAGE BOARD. I think I might go out and vote this year, and when someone asks me "Why did you vote?", I'll say "Well, I wasn't going to originally, but Brutal Impact and Netherscourge convinced me to." Doesn't that sound stupid? That's because it is. Is ANYONE going to vote for Kerry because of a thread they read on A VIDEO GAMES MESSAGE BOARD? Nope, yet these people continue to beat the dead horse with their political threads. Why don't you all just make a sig banner saying "I Hate America, I Hate Bush, but I won't tell you my crazy views, because you don't give a rats ass." I think that would be a great banner, and certainly better than the now 1,346 Halo/Halo 2/Master Cheif banners.

Over the course of the last week, I have noticed one thing that I can never get away from, no matter where I go on these boards: MAster Chief/Halo 2 sigs and avatars. There has got to be at least 100 different users with those damned things! Don't you people have any originality? We get it, you like Halo, but does that mean your icon AND avatar both need to have "Master Cheif kickin teh covenant ass!1"? Do you not have any other interests? Yeah, I know, Halo 2 will be a great game, and I've got it on pre-order, but that doesn't mean I need to have the same Halo 2 animated gif icon or fancy Master Chief banner in my sig. Give it a rest for gods sake.

What the hell is the deal with every single trendy celebrity and washed up former A list actor trying to get me to register to vote? Honestly, how many people have been convinced to vote by Adam Brody, or that blonde chick from American Dreams? I sure as hell haven't. Every channel I turn to on the TV has their own stupid "Get out and Vote" campaign. MTV has Rock the Vote, where people like Lil John and Avril Lavigne tell me that if I don't vote, I'm not "wicked dope fresh, ya heard." I, for one, will never even register to vote, because the whole voting process is a crock. They don't count total votes, so how can it be termed an "election"?

Off Topic Discussion is a breeding ground for idiocy. Everytime I go there, all I see are the same old stupid RTG thread, a bunch of people ranting and raving about Bush, mainly because they think it's trendy when, in reality, they don't know a damn thing about politics, and now, for some reason, a ton of religious threads. What's up with this? I don't give a crap about what religion anyone here practices, so what's the point in posting about it? Has anyone ever converted to a religion after being convinced of it's merits on a video games message board?

I honestly can't make a call on which Chicken Quesadilla is better: The Chicken Quesadilla from Taco John's, or the one from Taco Bell. I do, whoever, know that Taco Bell's Spicy Chicken Soft Taco rocks.

I just got my new computer yesterday, and man is this thing sweet. I've never owned a computer that has been somewhat modern, so now I can finally get into PC gaming. Too bad my crappy 15 inch, 1999 monitor sucks horse jangles.

Does listening to The Early November make me any less of a man?

Baldcore vs JBL tonight as the Smackdown main event. Honestly, what brand of glue is Vinnie Mac sniffing, because he can't possibly think these two are legit draws for a network television show. It's the equivalent of a buddy sitcom on NBC starring Corbin Berenson and the guy who played the little blonde kid on Who's the Boss.

Everyone acts like if you don't get a flue shot, you are going to die a horrible, horrible death. Actually, in reality, if you DO get a flue shot, you WILL get the flue and feel like crap for a week. I myself have never received one, and I have never gotten a bad cold or flue during the winter time, and I used to play backyard football 8 hours a day, every day during the winter.

I know, the week isn't over, but unless I find $100 bill lying on the ground after just receiving an invite to a wild 40 girls-1 guy orgy, this week is gonna shape up to be crap. First, on Monday, I find out that Ultra Bust a Move has been delayed. Hooray! I usually don't complain about delays, since I want a quality game and not a rushed one, but this game got delayed until the 15th of October! What, did they not press enough copies of the game or something? What the hell happened. On Tuesday, the Twins won game 1, which was nice, so that day didn't really suck too much ass. Wednesday, they blow it in the 12th, and give the Yankees all the momentum. There is NO way they win the series now. Today, I call up iBUYPOWER custom service to check on the status of my computer that I ordered from them last Friday, and they tell me there is a delay with the video card I ordered (GeForce 6800), and that they will be getting some in "soon". They upgraded my shipping from ground to 3 day, but who the hell knows when they are gonna get those cards in, let alone build it then ship it. I'm not a patient person, so this really stews my tomatoe. See? I am so pissed, I'm using expressions that my grandmother used to say.

I don't think anyone cares about my high school days, so I'm scrapping the rest of it. I'm not in the mood to try and remember stuff, since my memory is fried from years and years of being punched in the head.

Tonight I bring you part one in a 4 part series of Vanilla Gorilla-The High School Years. All these stories are true, whether you chose to believe them are up to you. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. And now, with that out of the way, I bring you the Freshman year.

I remember waking up on the first day of school to Lou Bega's "Baby Keep Smilin". You see, in 1999, Lou Bega was on top of the world. He was a black man, from Germany, who did mambo music. What would be next, a white guy from Michigan doing rap music? So, my first day of 9th grade wasn't off to a good start with that god forsaken garbage being played. My bro was in 12th grade, so for the entire year, I had to put up with him going to the same school as me. He wasn't a bully or anything, he was only about 5'7" at that time, where as I was easily 6'1", so if I wanted to, I could give him a proper thrashing, James Corcoran style (if you get that reference, you rock). But I'm a nice guy, so I never did. Anways, high school gave me the chance to do what I always wanted, slack off. In middle school, if you didn't do your assignments, the teachers actually cared. That didn't seem to be the case in 9th grade. I went weeks without doing a single assingment in Algebra, and I know for a fact that my teacher at that time didn't give a crap. He was this gumpy looking dude who seemed to just ignore me. I would walk into class 5 minutes late, eating a bag of Cooler Ranch Dorito's, and he wouldn't even bat an eye. He knew I wasn't there to learn, so he didn't bother to even teach me. He was a good man. One of the things me and my friends liked to do was mash on the keys to this calculator one of us had, then hide it somewhere while it went crazy with super loud, annoying beeps. It was a hoot, and it REALLY pissed off the other 20 students who were actually there to learn. Those nerds. One time, a friend of mine told me he would give me $20 if I pulled my pants down and sat bare assed in my seat for the entire class. Of course, I took him up on his offer, since my desk was in a corner, and it would be almost impossible to see that my pants were down around my ankles from the front of the room, where the teacher stood. 45 minutes later, I was $20 richer.

I guess the reason I didn't do anything in 9th grade was because I thought I had 4 years to get my act together, and that I really only needed to apply myself in 11th and 12th grade. Well, after finishing the first half of my frosh year with a GPA under 1, I was really behind the 8 ball. Did I care, hell no. In fact, back then, I didn't even care about my own personal safety. There was something I did in Phy Ed class one day that would make me a legend for all time....

Remember in Phy Ed, when there was that one week where you had to do swimming stuff? Well, at least in my high school there was. Our school was big enough that it had it's own pool, so for a week or two, we had swimming class. Since I didn't know how to swim, I would usually just ham it up in the shallow end, you know, wrestle with the big rubber shark, or chuck water polo balls at the fat kids, or just sit in the corner and have the water jets shoot up my ass. But one day, I decided to do something wild. I decided to jump off the diving board. It looked so damn fun that I just had to do it. I didn't have the forsight to wear a safety jacket, because I thought I could just kick and paddle my way over to the side of the pool. Keep in mind that the deep end that I was diving into was about 15 feet deep, this was a big pool. So I get up on the board, and everyone is waiting for me to pull off a 450 splash into a belly flop. I bounce off a couple times, then hurl myself into the water. As I opened my eyes under the water, I knew that I was in trouble. I barely made it to the surface of the water, then started kicking and flailing to see if I could get to the side of the pool and grab onto something. No dice. I wasn't going anywhere. As I screamed profanities and "HELP ME GOD DAGLUPGPL", the other people in the class laughed and laughed. They thought I was just joking around. As I kept going under the water, finally, the instructor thought that I actually needed help. She slowly untied her shoes and took her socks off, then jumped into the water. Thank god she was there to save me, or else my classmates whould have let me drown. But hell, if you can't die for comedy, then what can you die for? She grabbed me and pulled me out of the pool, while all my friends where busting a gut with laughter. The instructor told them all to get out of the pool and go change, and to come back to the pool area in about 10 minutes. She then proceeded to ask me what the hell I was thinking. I told her I thought I could get to the side of the pool. She then brought in the rest of the class, and told everyone that this incident is not to be talked about, and that nobody else should know. So about 10 minutes later, I'm walking into the cafeteria, and I swear to god I see almost everyone watch me walk in. They all had one of either 2 looks on their face: "man that guy is a crazy mo fo", or "jesus, what an idiot." It was to be the single greatest highlight of my high school career.

That happened later in the year, and since i'm a god awful writer, now I'm gonna bring you back to the beginning of the year. Remember 9/9/99, the day the Dreamcast came out? I do, mainly because that was the day our school got its first bomb threat. I was sitting in class, and all of a sudden the fire alarm went off. But instead of going to the usual spot, the teachers herded us all out onto the infield of the track. We heard from one teacher that someone had phoned in a bomb threat. Needless to say, about 98 percent of the student body was psyched at the possibility of our school getting blown to pieces any second. In fact, the asian kids were all so excited, they formed a big break dancing circle. I'm serious, a break dancing circle.... So the school ended up sending everyone home, so me and my friends just walked home. But on the way there, we stopped at McDonalds....

I had a bunch of money for some reason, but I always wanted more. So when I asked one of my friends if he would give me $10 if I could eat 40 Chicken McNuggets, the game was on. I ended up spending about $15 on 2 20 piece boxes of nuggets and a large Sprite. I was able to down all 40 nuggets, along with 7 packets of BBQ sauce, in a great feat of amatuer eating. That's right Kobayashi, I'm coming for your title! And the funny thing was, I probably could have eaten a couple double cheeseburgers after that.

So there you go, there's the story of my freshman year. I left out a bunch of other stories, mainly because my shoulder is getting tired from typing. But hell, I'm sure you're getting tired of reading all this, huh? Check back tommorrow for Vanilla Gorilla-The High School Years: Sophmore year.