I don't smoke

I don't drink

I don't dance....ever

I don't drive over the speed limit....ever

I don't watch Star Wars movies

I don't watch Matrix movies

I don't watch Lord of the Rings movies

I don't watch action movies

I don't go to parties

I don't watch what I eat

I don't wear sunglasses

I don't play fighting games

I don't play racing games

I don't play PC games

I don't eat steak

I don't talk on the phone

I certainly won't be seeing the newest garbage from George Lucas and his band of nerds. In fact, I might just stand outside my local theater on the day it comes out, and throw my own feces at anyone who tries to buy a ticket to this travesty of a motion picture.

No, my cat Mr. Mittens didn't get hit by a semi. What I mean is, I recently had to go back to my ancient, early 90's era keyboard, since SOMEONE spilled pop all over my fairly new, wireless keyboard. You really don't know how convienient a wireless keyboard is until you have to go back to your old, ivory colored piece of crap. That's it, that's all I gots ta say, homies.

Even though I can't sing worth a crap, I might put off buying games and DVD's for a month, and pick up an acoustic guitar. I figure, I can get one for arond $150, and purchase all the other crap you need. I'm not trying to become the next great folk singer, but I have always wanted to try learning a musical instrument. I'm sure everyone I know will give me a bunch of crap for wanting one, but that's fine, I'll just spit in their faces while they sleep.

If I was a little kid in Florida, I would get the hell out of there

Anchorman is funnier the second time you see it

Christina Applegate is still hot

No major retailers sell the Special Edition Orgazmo DVD. I guess they have something against an NC-17 movie about a Mormon porn star, and a guy who wears a rubber dick on his head

The NFL Draft is the second best multiple day sporting event in the world, second to the NCAA Tourney

If the Vikings take a running back in said draft with their 7th pick, I will personally show up to training camp this year, naked, with "Fire Mike Tice" shaved into my butthairs

I hope Randy Orton gets critically injured in a hot air balloon accident

One of my cats completely clawed up my newest porno mag

Doom 3 is the epitome of "All Flash, No Substance"

Why the hell did I buy DOA: UIltimate? I've played 4 fighting games in 14 years

Cookies are delicious, especially hot out of the oven

If I lived alone, I probably wouldn't wear any clothes while just relaxing around the house

Trading in old, or, in my case, fairly new games, for cash or store credit has always been a touchy subject within the gaming community. Most stalwarts will thump their chests with their standard "use eBay, clown!" lines, which I got sick of seeing back in 1999. Personally, I will never use eBay to sell my games, because it's not as quick or as trustworthy as EB or GameStop. If I want to get rid of a game, I want to do it NOW. I don't want to put up an eBay auction, which might take a day or two, then have to contact the buyer, which could take MORE time, then wait for him to send me my money, which could take god knows how long. If I go to EB or GameStop, I get my credit NOW.

Another reason some people frown upon trading in their games is because most places don't give fair trade in prices. Imagine that, companies wanting to make a profit by buying low and selling high! That's capitolism for you. Of course you're not going to get even $40 back for your $50 game, but if you know where to go, and get sick of your new, high priced game, or if you know you'll never play it again, what's wrong with getting $30 for it (most high profile, $50 games will net you $30 in credit, as long as they are only a month old). However, most people don't try to trade in their brand new games. No, they try to trade in some mediocre shooter or 4 year old racing game. Then they complain when EB only gives them $5 in credit. Well why wouldn't they? Walk into a EB, and you'll notice how many average, old, or mediocre pre-owned games they have, and none of them are exactly flying off the shelf. And most of those games only sell for about 10 to 15 dollars used. Why would EB want to turn a smaller profit on your unpopular games, when they will just take up shelf space and get ignored by most gamers? The best course of action when getting rid of your older games is to probably try to sell them to a family member, or at a garage sale (most garage sale patrons won't know your games are crap, and you might be able to make some nice money selling your games to granny, who is only looking for a birthday present for Lil Skip).

Usually, I don't trade in my games as soon as I beat them, or as soon as I think I will never want to play it again. If I know it won't get me much at EB or GameStop, I'll just keep the game as part of my collection. You never know, I might find someone who is willing to buy it, or come along someone who might want to trade me my game for one of his. Trading is a great alternative to selling in my opinion. Trading on the internet, in my opinion, is more effective than eBay. Example: In December of 2003, I bought a used copy of the extremely rare Suikoden 2 at EB, for $64.99. This fall, I found someone on the CheapAssGamer.com forums who was willing to trade me my Suikoden 2 for his copies of Jak 3 and Ratchet and Clank: Up your Arsenal. He was actually willing to send me World of Warcraft also, but his brother used the key card or something, so he couldn't, which I was fine with. So, in essence, I traded a game that I had already beaten, a game that was just collecting dust, for 2 games that I really wanted, and would get some playing time in my PS2 rotation. Not a bad deal at all.

I guess the whole trading debate depends mostly on your financial situation. If you don't mind knowing that you're basically losing money by trading in your $50 game for much less, then by all means, keeping trading. The way I look at it is, I may have paid $50 for the game, but if I am done playing it, and won't play it again, why not trade it in for credit towards another game? You would be able to get entertainment out of your $50 game, and entertainment out of the $20 game you bought using store credit. The only difference is that you don't own the $50 game anymore, but if you never played that game anymore, why would you want to keep it?

And there you have it, my thoughts on trading in games. See, I can talk about more than just food and stupid celebrities!

I'm sure some of you wizards who read this journal are nearing the end of your storied high school careers, and you can't wait to graduate, so you can leave your prospective towns, go off to college, and wish you were still back in high school. And with this time of year comes a whole crop of typical akward teenage moments. Who are you gonna ask to prom? Will he/she put out afterwards? Does this tux show off my bulge? What sappy song am I gonna play while I lay in bed and cry the night before graduation? These are all great questions, questions that every pimply faced, greezy haired, unoriginally dressed high schooler must ponder. Personally, I myself never had to answer all these questions, because wisely, I avoided about 75 percent of most the bullcrap that high schoolers have to go through. I never went to a prom, didn't give a rats ass about anything regarding graduation, and although I did go to your typical "let's get all the seniors together, with some beer, and play some crappy music while we all pretend we are hammered" party, I just ridiculed all the morons. So if you're in this situation, and you need a friend to talk to, and help you out with all your sissy problems, just contact me, and I can give you some of my patented Awesome Advice.

OK, don't kill Whitey. Whatever.

So I quit playing on God Mode, since the second to last battle is 99 percent impossible. I'm going to GameStop in a couple hours to trade in God of War and crappy, overrated Paper Mario for a cool $53 in store credit, and I'm also gonna pawn off some other game I never play, since you get a $10 trade in bonus if you trade in 3 games.

Michael Cole and Tazz need to get hit by trains.....

Game Informer is the best gaming magazine in North America right now, mainly because it's published in the best state in the world, Minnesota.

Why didn't I think of the name "Ron Mexico" first? F you Vick.

I'm in love, and her name is Enormous Omelet Sandwich.

I spent all day today (well, from 2 p.m. until now, 10:45 p.m.) trying to blow through God of War's God Mode, the absolute hardest difficulty there is in the game. I'm about 85 percent through right now, and I would keep going up until the end, but I have to be in to work at 7 tommorrow morning. I get home at about 10:30, so I expect to conquer God Mode by 2 p.m. at the absolute latest. Then, I'm gonna call up EB and see how much store credit I can get for the game, since I know I'll never play it again, especially after beating it.........twice. Anyways, my right index finger is killing me, after all that jamming on the Block button. It doesn't actually hurt, but in a game sense, this is the most worn out I think I've ever felt after a gamming session.

I got God of War on Sunday morning, and beat it tonight at around 7:30. I clocked in at almost exactly 9 hours. What an incredible game. 2005 has started out great for me when it comes to games. It kicked off nicely when I bought Growlanser Generations, which was a blast, and it continued through January as I blew through the amazingly kick ass Resident Evil 4. February kept the trend in tact, thanks to MVP Baseball 2005. I was also pretty pleased with Chaos Theory, and now, God of War in April.

God of War really exceeded all of my expectations. I thought it was going to be a pretty entertaining action game, that would keep my interest for a couple hours, but ultimately, would be yet another game that I neglect as it sits in my DVD rack. I was wrong. The frantic action, which is just a tad more sophisticated than just flat out button mashing, had me hooked from the start. Kratos is such an excellent character for this type of game; he's cold, he's tough, and all he wants to do is kill. The puzzles are also incredibly well done, they didn't completely baffle me, and they were all very believable and well conceived. The cinematics and graphics were also amazing, much better than I expected at first. The various plot twists and turns really fooled me, and they made sense in context with the story, it doesn't feel like they just threw them in to give the gamer a cheap, Russo Swerve. Rarely do I beat a game, and then play it again, I usually just shelve it or trade it in. That won't be happening with God of War. I just beat the Hydra again, this time on God Mode, which isn't really THAT hard yet, it seems like the Orb and save locations are the same, the only difference is that the enemies take more damage, and dish out more pain. All in all, I was shocked at how great God of War was, especially since I didn't even care about the game until a month or so ago.

Microsoft just took the lead in the next generation arms race, with the announcement that they will be unveling their new console live on MTV in May. This is great news for everybody, and it's an incredibly wise decision by Microsoft. The Xbox is arguably the hottest console in North America right now, and it's gaining momentum as far as appealing to the causal gamer is concerned. This MTV special will only help MS appeal to those casual gamers, and it also pleases us hardcore fans by giving us a sneak peak at their new console a week or so before Sony (possibly) and Nintendo show the world their next gen consoles. I just hope this show isn't loaded with phoned in, MTV style attitude and all that garbage.