Eh, didn't do anything for me. First off, if you feel the need to write a paragraph explaining the theme of your story, you're already up **** creek without a paddle. When you do that you come across as either a) thinking the reader is too dumb to figure out your story or b) thinking you're too good a writer for the average person to understand your story, and neither is the impression you want to make.

Also I felt that you spent too much time trying to cram in semi-useless descriptors rather than fleshing out the characters, and as a result the story read like you were more worried about impressing someone with how many adjectives you could squeeze into a sentence than creating interesting characters. For example Milton... sorry I mean Bob is so painfully cliched that he's hard to take seriously.

PBSnipes

I actually got criticism very similar to that a few other times. Thanks for the input, I'll work on it.

I think people should be really hesitant to laude praise on this short story.

The author is a fundamentalist christain who believes that women are in pain during childbirth because of the sins of Eve.

The whole purpose of the short story was to demonstrate the folly of 21st century science -- just keep that in mind before you heap a ton of praise onto the author.

MetalGear_Ninty

Well, you obviously aren't destined to be a critic. Criticism is intended to be UNBIAS, regardless of your personal beliefs and faith. We're judging his work on writing style, and he did damn well.

[QUOTE="RiSkyBiZ-13"][QUOTE="Norg"]

Wall o Text = It sucks

Termite551

So much for constructive criticism.. do you even know how to read?

I'm not an expert on PR, but last time I checked this isn't a good way to get people to like you and your writing.

Anyway, I read the first few paragraphs and I didn't think it was that great, but it might be because of the other guys short story here on OT. The writing style just wasn't captivating enough, I sort of felt like I was being pushed through these situations and not really witnessing them

I don't need someone to like me, and I espcially don't need someone to say it sucks because there's "too much text" when I asked for constructive criticism (i.e., "It sucks, and this is why")

[QUOTE="RiSkyBiZ-13"]My only opinion on the matter is that I believe Lethal Injection to be far more inhumane than any methods used before. You can feel poison working it's way through your veins, and you become very tired. You try to fight off the sleep, but it's overwhelming you. You KNOW, that if you fall asleep, you won't wake up again. How is injection better than the chair? I'm not against injection, but it's just a thought.Oleg_Huzwog

All execution methods involve the knowledge of "I won't wake up again", so I don't see how the least painful of those methods can be considered the most inhumane.

I was thinking on terms of the psychological aspect. The fatigue issue, trying to fight the sleep. A firing line seems more humane, althought undoubtadly messier.

Wall o Text = It sucks

Norg

So much for constructive criticism.. do you even know how to read?