I decided that I would write about trends that annoy me today because I'm doing a lot of my political banter elsewhere.
Top ten things about games that need to go away!
10: Prequels that are sequels and vice Versa:
Metal Gear Solid 3 takes place in the 1960s, well before the Solid Snake we all love has been even born! So why does it have "3" in the title? As a prequel the game should have been either titled "0" or just Metal Gear Solid: Snake Eater. This trend is annoying because it makes it difficult for the average consumer to follow the story.
9: Excessively violent video games:
Not that I don't enjoy it myself, but just long enough to get the Clintons and their legion of evil zombies off our case the entertainment industry as a whole should back off violent games until we have legislation in place that can protect our free speech without challenge. Remember, a lot of these morons are up for reelection THIS YEAR. Take names, and kick their ass by voting them out, including Liberman and Clinton!
8: Hip Hop music games:
The previous one was a political move we could make to protect ourselves. This one is a genuine irritance to me. I hate Rap; I used to watch MTV religiously, now I avoid it. I can barely turn to a non-country station without hip-hop music torturing my ears. It’s why I won't stand behind the RIAA even though I am opposed to piracy. Good music is hard to find, and it shouldn't be. Any time I end up hearing hip-hop music in a game I end up not buying it.
7: Hip hop themed games:
Guys, really the Gangsta life style is not glamorous, nor should it be glorified. It is a life of violence, of hate, of death, and a life of antagonizing the law, which wasn't a good idea even before the patriot act. Whether you're 7, or 17, no one should ever have the suggestion put in their mind that gangsters are cool or anything other than thugs. I don't care if its Snoop Dog, or 50 Cent. Not only that, but in my humble opinion I know far too many wonderfully intelligent black people to accept this portrayal of their culture as being accurate. These people deserve respectable representation dammit! They're good people! I find it highly offensive that they're always portrayed as being thugs in the media. We should be better than that!
6: The objectification of women:
Now I admit... I love women... I'm married, and I confess that I still look, even though my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world to me if a hot Asian or Latina woman walks by she usually catches my eye. The less she's covering herself the harder it is to pull my eyes away. I admit that I am a man who has hormones, and sometimes-even desires that are extremely sexual in nature (I don't act on them though, I really am head over heels for my wife). But even with that in mind I cannot stand how women are dressed and treated as object s in video games (especially fighters).
In my training (Hung Gar) I have encountered a number of absolutely brutal fighters who have whollped me (and I'm a big and powerful guy) in sparring matches, despite being smaller, and less muscular. Women can be incredibly powerful fighters, and deserve the respect associated with that. However, in video games such as DOA 4 the breasts are inflated to proportions that are so great that not applying a sports bra would make the combat experience extremely painful. I know, my wife is one such fighter. Powerful, fast, lethal but top heavy. And if she doesn't bring her sports bra to class she cannot participate because the "bouncing boobs" are extremely painful to her, and any other top-heavy female martial artist I know.
The portrayal of women as top heavy and bouncy is not only unrealistic, but also disrespectful and crude. Women are intelligent, powerful, and should be treated with the respect that they have more than earned.
5: Poor use of cell shading
The legend of Zelda the Wind Waker got it right. Most other games that use this tactic it is done poorly, and it doesn't look that good (Including Killer 7, which was highly stylized, but had headache inducing graphics.) Cell shading looked really bad in X-Men Legends where the facial details couldn't even be made out.
Cell shading has a lot of potential, but should never be used as an excuse for lack of detail. It can be used to give games a genuine comic book look, or Saturday morning cartoon look, but seldom if ever is. I think developers need to do more with it than they have been.
4: Short games:
I get really irritated when I pay $50 for a game and two or four hours later it's beaten. A well done game should give me hours of enjoyment, at least eight. To me any less than eight hours of game play is a waste of my money. If a game is less than 8 hours I shouldn't have to pay more than $20 for it, and I refuse to. Developers need to start working harder to earn my money.
3: Minimal or incoherent stories:
Video games afford story tellers a unique opportunity. This is the only media that allows us to tell a novel depth story with cinematic flair. Best of all we get to do so in a non-linear interactive setting. So why are there so many dung heap stories out there? The biggest disappointment lately being Ultimate Spider-Man, which boasted that it had Brian M. Bendis writing the story, but it missed the depth of the comic, by leaps and bounds. The story that was there was just enough to keep the flow of this short game going. It could have spent a great deal more time developing the characters, shoot, where the devil was Aunt May?
2: Blond hair blue eyed heroes and Tropical/Fantasy based RPGs:
Final Fantasy is probably the worst offender right now because there is enormous potential in the series, but it seems to have locked itself in a tropical fantasy art style since FF X. Truth be told the medieval look is tired as well, but not every RPG needs to be medieval, or tropical, or medieval tropical.
Worse yet. there has only been a couple of occasions where the lead character of Final Fantasy hasn't been a teenaged, blond haired blue eyed overly perky jock. I liked Squall because he portrayed a more realistic teen, someone with a real personality, even though he may have been suffering from clinical depression. He also was not blond. I would love to see Square-Enix break away from this trend. It's tried and true, and done to death. Let's see some more sci-fi, or even contemporary games.
With that in mind Link needs a new hair/eye color. I'm getting tired of blond hair blue eyed teens as the leads. And Kudos to Namco fro breaking that in Tales of Symphonia.
1. Card games.
Metal Gear Acid, Kingdom Hearts Chain of Memories, Baiten Kaitos, and Lost Kingdom. What do these games have in common? They were great stories ruined by having a game play system based on a convoluted card game. This trend has really got to die. If I want to play cards I'll buy a pack of cards. Card games based video games reduce the level of interactivity a game can offer. Additionally it slows the games to a snail's pace. Worse yet I never seem to have the card I want when I need it. These games often feature fantastic stories, but the game play in most of these titles has caused me to abandon them. I hope that developers will abandon the cards and try to innovate by moving games forward, rather than backward. Card games, after all, are an old way to play.
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