I think LuLu's general point about punishment not equaling difficulty is valid since it can be used simply to arbitrarily extend the time it takes to do something, but it can also be used to add meaningful challenge and I think that's mostly what's going on in Dark Souls. Games like bayonetta (which fyi is currently my favourite game) that have frequent checkpoints are far easier than they would be otherwise because you don't need to reach a level of skill at which you can succeed consistently, and some games take this to such an extreme that every small flukish success moves you on without any need for skill, but it's a hard balance to get right even without accounting for differences in taste since repeating a section can quickly start to feel like wasted time once you've got the hang of it.
Also, I don't like them that much and haven't completed either demon or dark souls, but playing them I pretty much never felt that I died simply because I didn't know what to expect. Knowing what to expect helps a lot but it's not like you die every single time you encounter a new enemy or get caught in an ambush.
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