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Squids-Ahoy Blog

Gamer Challenge #2: Return of the Nerd

A while ago I held a Gamer Challenge which required people to answer what I thought were difficult questions regarding video games, and the one who won (U1) got a prize. I finally confirmed that the ordeal was sorted out and everything taken care of, so now I will be hosting the second challenge, with even more difficult questions of impossibility. The challenge will start next month after the 7th of December when work and school slow down, so I'll lay down the rules just to give you an idea of how this will work.
1. Every day, I will post a single question regarding video games. This can be about anything and everything, including characters, weapons, levels, references, music, sound, or whatever. Your job is to figure out what I'm talking about.
2. If you know the answer, pm me and I will tell you if it was correct or not. You can pm me as many times as you want, but spamming will earn my ire.
3. You can use every single resource you can think of (the games, the internet, a friend, an enemy) to figure out the answer, and I mean that, because the questions are HARD. I've been working on them for a while, so I guarentee that getting a quarter of them is a great score.
4. At the end of the questions, I will announce the scores, and the first place winner gets a prize. I don't want to ruin the prize, because I think it's a kick in the pants, but it's not some retarded upvote on your games or garbage like that. It's an actual prize.
Finally, just to give you an example of how difficult the questions are going to be, I'll give you an example; What is the connection between Ray Bradbury, System Shock 2, and Deus Ex? Now that you've peed yourself, you can pm me for the answer, but I want you to really work hard for the money so to speak. I'll release more info for the contest in the coming days, but just prepare yourself, look around, dig up the classics, and prepare....

Why Black is crap

I purchased Black for 10 bucks at a local gaming store, and have been ruing that purchase ever since. I've been trying to beat it off and on over the last month, and while the game is only about 8 hours long, it constipates me to the point where completing it is almost an impossibility. If only I were more patient. Regardless I thought I would list some reasons why Black is a piece of garbage, and why, if you thought of purchasing it, you shouldn't.
Special Forces Operatives can carry more than two weapons:If the game was an actual tactical game akin to Rainbow Six, Ghost Recon, or whatever I wouldn't mind so much, but there are about as many tactical situations here as there are in Quake. As such, it isn't unreasonable to expect a character to hold more than a pistol and a machine gun.
Sometimes the best way to open a door is to use your hands:For whatever reason, every door in the entire country is locked, and the only way to open it is a shotgun, a grenade, or an rpg. Apparently, the enemies don't have the keys either as they too use a shotgun to get through doors. I'd hate to see the goodbyes to their families in the morning....
A bad guys life is not proportionate to whether or not he wears a hockey mask:If you wear a hockey mask, you either play hockey, or you are robbing a bank. If you wear it in a tactical situation, it doesn't make you nearly invulnerable. There is apparently some kind of life extension mechanism implanted in all these masks, because I've literally pumped 50 rounds into one of these guys and had them shoot me directly in the face. So much for pathos.
Teammates do things usually: You know there may be a problem when your team mate runs headlong at a group of bad guys and then loiters in the group and doesn't shoot them, there is definitely a problem. I've seen smarter bots in Doom, so I don't know what's so difficult about this.
Sometimes it's best to keep intelligence in a safe place:Now where do you think the best place to leave a laptop with CIA noc operatives' names: In your base, with whomever is going to sell that information to your enemies, or lying on a box in a middle of an abandoned town where there is nobody guarding it? Personally I think the placement of these items is rather dubious, but considering how dumb the guys you fight actually are, it's actually pretty believable.
There are so many problems with this game that it's hard to dig through the garbage before enjoying the game, but largely I would just stay away from it. You're better off buying a good burger with a friend, you'll have a better time. For more info you can check out my review.

Bill O'Reilly: Crotch Muffin

Far be it from me to impugn on the occupation of political pundits, being a political scientist with a bonified degree gives me no right to give opinions based on rational fact or reason, but O'Reilly has started encroaching on our honorable past time of head shots and tea bagging. Indeed, O'Reilly made some rather interesting comments today, saying A large portion of the population, mostly... under the age of 45, who don’t deal with reality - ever. They don’t know what day it is... they don’t know what their neighbor looks like. They don’t know anything… because they are constantly diverted by a machine... it takes a person away from reality because they’ve created their own reality…. You can find the article here for some more egregious comments about how gamers are the new drug users, conjuring up images of back alley halo sessions with thirty somethings with signs reading "need live, anything will help, god bless". Don't look at me, I'm still going to med school.
Ignoring his past comments, such as lying about awards he's earned, where he grew up, comments he's made, or even slandering his political opposites, his comments concerning gamers, and indeed other tech users such as people with ipods, is rather jaded (especially considering he offers regular podcasts, double lawl). Bill O'Reilly stated that he was truly afraid because the Taliban, unlike nerds, were out killing people. Apparently this was a call to arms among the gaming elite, as thousands of nerds threw up arms, and then quickly hyperventilated and sat down to finish their hot pockets. lawl.
When a thousand people say a thousand things that are incorrect about one of my favorite past times, usually I just laugh at them and keep playing, but considering the following O'Reilly has in conjunction with the mounting political clout seeking a solution to the "epidemic" of gaming, I suggest you do the following;
1. Go to your email 2. Send a letter to askfox@foxinc.com asking them to remove his programming. 3. Play a video game
Everybody has the freedom to say and think what they wish, despite how it offends or how uninformed the statement is, but as consumers, we have the ability to influence programming on channels such as Fox news. Show them we mean business, gamers unite!

The Cookie Jar

I think something important was released this week, I can't remember, I think it was popular though...seriously though, congratulations to everybody who got a PS3 and Wii, I hope it brings you years of happiness.
Microsoft did something very interesting this week, not necessarily related to gaming, but with repercussions so far reaching that it's only a matter of time before the shock waves are felt in the entertainment sector. Microsoft's CEO Steve Balmer (of Steve Balmer fame), announced at a conference in Seattle that the linux operating system infringed on Microsoft's intellectual material, and that MIcrosoft should be reimbursed. Ignoring the obvious hypocrisy, there are far reaching implications of these actions, in that this may be the possible signal for Microsofts war on open source projects.
Already Microsoft has tried adapting a number of products to compete with competitors. For those of you who haven't seen the new version of Internet Explorer, it looks something like this. Look familiar? It should. Not to impugn the addage about where smart people get their ideas (people smarter than them for those of you not in the know), but the glaring similarities are downright malicious in nature, attempting to steal intellectual material from others. This isn't the first time they've done these kinds of things either, but like I said, we're not focusing on the hypocrisy, just the impact of the aformentioned assertion by Balmer.
Right now, the current response from just about everyone who isn't Microsoft has been predictable to say the least, and certainly it isn't arrogance fueling the fire, but hypothetically let's say that Microsoft succedes in a legal gambit for control of the Operating System wars; what does this mean for us?
The first conclusion is that Microsoft will essentially dominate the mainstream technology realm with control over every piece of software that would be released for the rest of their dominion. If you said "Nuh uh, I have a MAC!", curb stomp for you. It doesn't have to stop there. Microsoft has enough power (politicians are apparently cheaper than we thought and money (same link) to do just about whatever they please in the US, and could take the war to other areas of technology such as third party modifications using games under the "games for windows" logo. As preposterous as that may sound, it's something worth considering. With politicians clamping down on games and the content therein, it would be in Microsofts best interest to do so, not only to insure that the product remains whole, but also to reduce the probability of lawsuits. It's improbable, but not impossible.
Microsoft's purchase of Novell, as mentioned in the first article, basically contractually stated that Linux was infringing on copyright, so it seemed like fate that the issue would progress this far, but it's unclear how far Microsoft is willing to go to dominate the technology market. To those dismissing this move as benign, I remind you Microsoft has built it's foundation upon malicious business practices, and while windows isn't necessarily the best operating system out there, it has the biggest hand in the cookie jar at the moment.

On your marks....

We're now just a few days from the launch of the Playstation 3 and the Wii, as well as the inevitable response from Microsoft, hopefully in the form of a packaged deal for the 360, but it would have been announced by now if that were the case. Regardless, it's always a happy time for gamers when a new console launches, pushing the industry into the next generation of gaming surprises with "Oh my god!" and "Holy crap"'s abound. Whether you like the PS3, the Wii, or the Xbox360, there is something for everybody at the gaming table. Among the three consoles, Sony has obviously grabbed the most attention with their addition, leading to speculation ranging from wild eyed predictions of doom and gath to accolades of angelic renewal followed by the trumpetting high atop mount acquinas. Regardless, 1up.com has produced a clean and concise article on the subject which is both informative and easy to digest. Enjoy.

Work in progress

As production costs of producing games and the risk of investing increases, companies are inevitably going to find ways to maximize profit, most times at the expense of the customer. Triple A titles that should be absolute successes are being released into a market that views them as mediocre for their obvious flaws, omissions, and errors. The problem is that fewer people buy the game, the company rushes another product to make up losses, and the cycle perpetuates itself. Not exactly pretty, but the full problem deserves to be analyzed case by case.
Battlefield 2142 was released last month, and was an extremely competent title on its own merits. Though it was certainly similar to its predecessors, the game had a futuristic flare and exciting titan mode that more than warranted a purchase for Battlefield fans. However, the game is absolutely riddled with bugs that should have been squashed before the beta was even released. When I played, I noted some rather amusing problems, such as the titans randomly blowing up and spawning again, making the game unplayable, vehicles spawning upside down, crippling lag, and more. Without taking the time to insure the player wouldn’t be affected by these problems, the game was released without the benefit of another month of hunting down problems. The reviews all read similarly, stating that, “The game is good, the bugs are not”. It’s not just EA titles either.
Phantasy Star Universe, the successor to Phantasy Star Online, has been anticipated since it was announced, and upon its release was gobbled up by fans everywhere. The game is stable, runs well, and has the gameplay we’ve come to expect, with just a slight problem; two thirds of the online portion of the game are missing. There are no special classes, no robot partner function, missing weapons, missing story missions, it’s even missing an entire planet. This isn’t an oversight by any means, Sega did the same thing with the Japanese release earlier this year. Their solution was to release the game and slowly add the content as they went to push the product as soon as possible. The game has received lukewarm reviews thus far, and many disappointed fans have dropped accounts.
Though there are numerous examples of the inequity of greedy companies, the real problem is the impact on gamers. Many people are simply content with the titles they have, or are waiting for the game’s bugs to be squashed before they make a purchase. These people are still in the minority, however, as preorders for games and consoles soar into the holiday seasons, but the repercussions of these actions are growing, and before long companies are going to have to make a choice about whether or not the value of a game is decided by the company or the customer.

Hard Questions: PSP

Just a few things to think about before purchasing a PSP for this shopping season: 1. Name 10 games you would like to own: If you own a PS2, you've already played three quarters of the games that have been released. Grand Theft Auto is nice, just like it was in 2002. Daxter is alright if you don't mind how obnoxious he is. Untold Legends is terrible. Lumines gets boring quickly. I haven't played Loco Roco because it seems a little too esoteric for my taste, and Katamari Damacy is a bit old. 2. Ask yourself if those titles are still worth buying even after you discover they are compromised by the systems technical flaws: Thinking that Tekken: Dark Ressurection would be fun? You might want to reconsider after you discover that the d-pad doesn't actually recognize diagonal movements. Same with the other fighting games. Having a winning eleven game on the go is fantastic, if you don't mind the minute and a half wait time that sabotages any enjoyment you might derive from the game.

3. Consider the rather short leash: One of the best advantages that portable devices have are the mobility, but really the range is defined by the battery, and when your battery lasts just a little over 2 hours, your options are a bit limited.

4. Weigh these against the versatility: There is no denying that, if invested in, the PSP suddenly has a world full of life. A larger memory stick makes the PSP a media center, full of music, videos, and an internet capable device. These are great, but they also require some context; it can play mp3's, but the device is still fragile, and can't be used in a physical setting. In addition, any videos you put on require large amounts of memory, still expensive even today, and is limited in function once again by the short battery life. Having the internet on your device is cool, and adds a great deal of versatility, but the interface for the internet is terrible, you can't stream videos or flash, and you only have three tabs, which is alright but limits your use. 5. Now consider the price: I'll give you a hint, it's not a little Some perspective for potential buyers before you leap into an investment you regret. Personally I wish I had seen something like this before I purchased my PSP, but I'm still looking forward to Final Fantasy and Metal Gear PO. Still, it would have been nice...

Invite polite :)

Instead of inundating your inbox with invites for unions you most likely don't give two hoots about, I've opted instead to post unions I find tasteful and/or needing people for your gaming pleasure. This is how invites from me shall be done now and forever!
The MMORPG Center: This one is pretty self explanatory, it's about MMO's for all systems, though mostly computer for the obvious reasons. This union covers news, previews, reviews, interviews, and pertinent discussion for MMO's and multiplayer rpg's such as Diablo II, Sacred, or the upcoming Phantasy Star Universe. I'm a big MMO fan, and you'll find plenty of resources on both free MMO's and industry favorite WoW.
The Diverse Gamers Union: Covering all games over every platform, this place is pretty much the only social union I feel comfortable posting in. It covers all the usual topics (Final Fantasy, Playstation vs. Xbox vs. Nintendo) and then some stuff, but it's a cool place to hang out for a few minutes and chat up people.
Community Contributions: Community Contributions is about the best resource for writing that I've seen nearly anywhere. They offer advice on how to write a great review, and also allow you the oppertunity to write a critique for other people. Truly this is the ultimate form of socialism, definitley worth a look. Anyway, those are unions I would invite people too, if you're interested in the subject material click the links below for the corresponding unions and see if you want to join or not.
The MMORPG Center The Diverse Gamers Union Community Contributions