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booksnbeach4me Blog

My Swan Song

I've been trying for months to get used to the new layouts and such... and to be honest, I miss the old tv.com. Heck, I still miss tvtome.

My FIREFOX browser doesn't support tv.com for some reason. So, I then have to use Internet Explorer... and even then, things aren't good. It says I have "comments" but I can't read them. It says I have messages but I can't open them. I've tried to go back through my older blog posts and that stalls out on me.

So.... it's time to bid tv.com adieu -- officially.

If you want to keep in touch, please find me at FACEBOOK. My name is Beverly Darnell. I live in Virginia Beach. Shouldn't be hard to find me.

You may also try MySpace... but I'm on FACEBOOK more than MySpace. http://www.myspace.com/darnebe

Please keep in touch!

Thanks for being my friend here!!!

TAKE CARE!

Don't pass out -- it's really a blog from me

First off, let me apologize for neglecting this blog.

I upgraded to FIREFOX as my browser a few months ago and it won't, for some bizarre reason, load my profile so that I can see it, read it, write in it, etc. I am using an old old version of Internet Explorer to post this.

If a friend hadn't sent me an email recently asking if I'd given up blogging, I probably never would have even tried to figure out what happened.

If any of you have MySpace, that's the best place to reach me.

Thank you for all of the nice things you all had to say about my apartment and last blog. I can't believe it's been 6 months.

I wish I had more exciting things to tell you, but alas, I don't. Work is work. Life is life. :)

I miss you all and promise I will try harder to blog and blop, especially now that I figured out it's a FIREFOX thing and not a Bevy thing. :)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Neglected but not forgotten

I haven't been over here in ages. I have been pretty lazy... and busy.

I do most of my blogging/blopping at MySpace and then forget to come over here... or if I do come over here, I have a hard time posting. I can't access my tv.com profile at all. I think it has something to do with my browser.

Anyhoo, I just moved into my new apartment on May 10. I finished the last of my unpacking today. I return to work tomorrow. I don't want to go back. I don't feel like I had much of a vacation because I spent the past week dealing with move-related stuff, unpacking, etc. I'm also dreading the mountain of paperwork I'm sure has accumulated in my absence.

Being a "supervisor" isn't what I thought it would be. I feel like a babysitter most of the time. I've been putting in crazy hours -- 14-15 each week day day plus 4 hours on Saturdays. Sadly, it has to be done. I've only been doing it "officially" for a month. I am giving myself 90 days to get things ironed out and if things aren't less stressful after 90 days, I will talk to my supervisor about stepping down. I moved here to have a better life ... and as it is, I'm not getting to enjoy much of it because I come home from work, crawl into bed and then get up and repeat the entire process. (sigh) I "like" being a supervisor. I just don't like that I spend most of my time dealing with reports and paperwork instead of coaching, training, etc like I want to do. My team is a bit of a disappointment. I have 1 woman on my team who can't seem to get herself together and has no "sense of urgency" or time management. I have another who applied for my job and got turned down so now she seems set out to find fault with everything I do. I have another who complains all day about how much work there is and is a total Nelly Negativity. I have done all sorts of things to boost morale, promote positivity, etc but it goes right over their heads. My boss keeps telling me that I'm doing a good job and to hang in there but then turns around and gives me a project that has to be done "now" and I end up working until 10 p.m. when everyone else books out the door at 5:00. Ok, now I'm the Nelly Negative.

Anyhoo - I wanted to post some links to a video tour of my new apartment. :)

http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=34440770 http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=34441103 http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=34441297 http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=34441433 http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=34441644Hope all is well with you! If you're on MySpace, look me up.

Home Sweet Home

So, I have an "official" future home. The apartment complex I originally went to, Reflections, doesn't have anything for May 9 so I called Runaway Bay, their sister property that I liked better but couldn't really afford, and they have a 2 bedroom with a fireplace available May 8 -- for the same price the other place wanted for their one bedroom with den. I looked at the model on Thursday and it was very nice. They called me last night to tell me that they re-ran my credit and I've been approved. I went in today to drop off my deposit and sign the lease. Whew! That's a huge worry off of my plate. The place is really nice -- and there's a lot of things nearby like grocery stores, gas stations, etc so that I don't have to drive all over town. The shorter commute to work should help me save on fuel. A fireplace should, hopefully, cut heating costs in the winter.
Here's a link to the floor plan. My apartment will look like the model in the virtual tour. On the map (on the floorplan page), it's located in the back corner, 2nd floor of building 128 -- a corner unit with no upstairs neighbor. :) Only 6 minutes from work. http://www.runawaybayva.com/5/Virginia-Beach-Virginia-Homes/?Beds=2&Baths=2

What's in a name... and other news

There are 32 people with my name in the U.S.A.


How many have your name?

A couple of weeks ago, my boss approached me and asked me if I'd be interested in becoming a supervisor.

I had originally interviewed for a supervisor position back in December but they felt I didn't have enough experience and offered me a specialist position. As you might recall, I didn't want to go to a call center job so I took the specialist job eventhough I had a feeling I'd be bored doing something I had done for over 5 years at my previous job.

She told me that she has been interviewing people for weeks but keeps comparing them to me and they paled in comparison (her words) so she went to HR and got permission to offer the job to me -- after only being there two months.

I interviewed with her boss and her boss's boss last Friday morning and they offered me the job on Tuesday. I asked for a few days to think about it and I gave them my answer Friday -- which was yes. :)

I'll be supervising a team of approximately 10 people. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. I keep thinking of all of these things I can do to reward hard work etc. Then, I worry about all of the petty stuff that comes with being a supervisor. But, I hope that there will be little of it. My company just doesn't seem to condone that kind of stuff.

My "official" start date as supervisor is April 1. It does include a little salary increase and a sunny corner cubicle in the back of the building where no one can really bug me if I need to concentrate. I have three new hires to train before they move me from "peon" to supervisor. They haven't announced it yet so if any of you visit my MySpace page, please don't mention it there until I officially announce it on there. Two of my future employees are on my friends list and I don't want them to find out through MySpace. So, I wanted to share the news. :)

This move to the beach is turning out to be a very good thing. Makes all of the stress and anxiety a few months back worth it.

In other news -- I have been approved for an apartment in a decent apartment complex close to work. I'm just waiting on them to call me with my actual address. I tried to post a blog about it a few weeks ago but doodyland wouldn't let me post the blog and I gave up. I've also been replacing all of the items I gave away before I moved. It's fun buying new things, better things, more adult things. No more plastic furniture or thrift store cast offs. I'm not buying anything extravagant. I don't have the money for that, but I have been scouring the home decor stores for sales and good deals. I figured my check account wouldn't have a heart attack if I bought the things a little at a time instead of all at once.

I Thought I Left This All Behind

Here it is -- Saturday night and I'm sitting here in thick fleece pants decorated with candy canes (yeah, I know Xmas is over), a long sleeve thermal shirt, pink fuzzy slippers and a long pink velour robe. Outside, it is doing this rain-snow thing and the wind is blowing in occasional bursts. It's cold and dreary. It feels like... OHIO. Hey, this is the beach. I'm not supposed to be watching "winter weather warnings" on the television. I'm not supposed to be worrying about whether or not the roads will be bad when I leave for work in the morning (Yeah, I'm going in on a Sunday. If I didn't need the OT $ for my future apartment, I'd skip it and stay in bed.)

I spent most of the morning at the 3A Car Care Center having the rear brakes on my car replaced. It wasn't so bad -- they had an awesome waiting room with high speed internet access, comfy chairs and cable television. I surfed the net and watched the Food Network. Then, I stopped by the store for some groceries and was amazed by all of the "winter weather" stuff displayed by the front door. Snow shovels, sidewalk ice melt, gloves, hats, scarves, etc. I felt this strong need to pop one of my anti-anxiety pills as flashbacks to winters in Ohio jumped into my memory.

Seriously, I don't need this crap. Not because I'm worried about driving on the roads... but mostly because I'm worried about being out there with all of the people here who DON'T know how to drive on snowy/icy roads. When it rains, people drive like there is 3 inches of ice on the roads. Heck, when it's dry, people still can't drive right.

I've started my "apartment search" already. I've been to a few properties and have found a couple I like. I just wish I didn't have to pay so much for them. Rent here is amazingly high... even for the crappy places. As much as I like being near the water, I'm eagerly anticipating moving into an apartment and calling it home. This beach house just doesn't feel like home. It's not my stuff. I feel like I'm staying with relatives or friends or something.

The job is still going well. I still like it. The work is picking up and I feel kind of stressed some days about the amount of work there is to do. The boss keeps talking about this new account we're going to get and how much more work it is going to bring in and part of me feels sad because I really don't want to get sucked into the overtime thing like I did at my last company. I was talking to my friend Mandy in Ohio the other night and she reminded me that my whole reason for moving here was to do things differently and live a different life but yet... I'm not doing that. I'm doing the same kinds of things I did in Ohio. The scenery is just better. So, I'm trying to find things to do that are different from what I did in Ohio. Of course, going in to work on a Sunday isn't different. Damn.

Hope all is well with you all.

I'm going to go crawl into bed and try to get warm and wish away the snow and ice.

the year in review

I usually find some time to look back on the year that is ending so that I can make some goals and plans for the year ahead. To be honest, until I started typing this blog right now, I hadn't really given much thought to 2007 except that I'm glad it's ending because it has been one heck of a roller coaster year.

I began 2007 feeling frustrated because I was doing a job I didn't like for a woman who didn't appreciate me. My annual review was not that good and it was the catalyst I needed to start looking for something else. I had a couple of "maybe" interviews before getting a position in another department, working for someone who was nothing like the previous boss. I was very happy to go to work for her.

In April, I finished my 5 year debt consolidation plan and felt quite giddy about the fact that my debts were behind me and I was finally free to quit my job, find a new apartment, etc. I was not restricted by the contract any longer.

At the same time, I found a realtor with a beach house in Virginia Beach and it seemed to be my sign to really truly finally move out of Ohio and to the beach. After several weeks of sweating out the application process and the realtor's flighty-ness, I got the word that the beach house was mine October 1 - May 15.

I began immediately to make plans for moving -- reserved the UHAUL, started bringing home boxes from work, etc. I put in many hours of overtime during the summer, gearing up for the move. I also reconnected with some old high school and cyber friends during the summer.

Then, I found out I wasn't quite as debt-free as I thought I was. My student loan and car financing place wanted paid for some interest that they hadn't been paid during my plan. I contacted an attorney who told me that they could pursue me for the unpaid interest. Great. I went on repayment plans for both, which dipped into savings.

I quit my job at a company I had given 9+ years of my life on August 31. That same evening, before work, I went to the ER for chest pains. This was the beginning of a long long series of tests, hospital visits, blood work, X-rays, etc to try to determine what was wrong with me. I visited the ER 6 times in the course of one month. Then, my doctor told me I had some fake-sounding condition called hyperventilation syndrome, prescribed some antidepressants and told me to learn how to relax and stop worrying so much. Yeah, right.

I was so sick sometimes that I really thought I was dying. I couldn't do much except sit in a chair. My friend Mandy bailed me out majorly by devoting many many hours to helping pack up my apartment and get ready for my move. What she couldn't help me with, my friends Janelle and Todd wrapped up when they showed up to help me move my stuff from Ohio to Virginia.

The move was long and tiring and very taxing emotionally. Molly did not do well with the trip and neither did I. I have no desire to spend any length of time behind the wheel of the car again.

I moved into the beach house in October, right on schedule. I expected my "health condition" to clear up immediately because I had accomplished one of the biggest dreams of my life. But, then... I started to worry about work and money. That only made me feel sick all over again. Although I had my 401k money and my retirement money in savings, I was worried that I'd run out of money and have to turn tail and go back to Ohio or to PA or some place else where there is no beach.

After many weeks of interviewing, rejection letters and crappy offers, I finally got a full time job doing Collections. I was excited. At first. Then, I realized I didn't really want the job and started to have panic attacks again about doing a job I didn't enjoy. Then, out of the blue, I got a call for an interview for a better job at a better company. Two days before I was supposed to start the collections job.

They offered me a job and I turned down the Collections job. I began my new job on December 12. It's going well. A little boring at times, but everyone is nice and I really like my company and co-workers. It's nice to be around people again and having a routine. I totally admit I don't like working. I'd much rather be stinking rich and spend my time doing volunteer work, hobbies, travelling and lazing around the house.

So -- what a year! I'm proud of the fact that I accomplished my dream to move to the beach and so far the area hasn't disappointed me. I love looking out the window and seeing the Bay. I love that it doesn't snow here. I love that we get more sunny days than cloudy days. I don't regret doing it at all.

2007, overall, wasn't a bad year. I just could have done without the illness and stress. I'm still having episodes where I just can't catch my breath and start worrying about things I have no control over. I never used to have problems coping or dealing. I don't understand why my body has now decided that it can't handle stress. I hate not feeling like myself. I haven't had a decent night of sleep in ages.

So, I hope 2008 is great. Better than great. I'll get thinner, find a fabulous apartment I can afford, spend every weekend at the beach, meet the man of my dreams, and possibly get offered a promotion or something at work. Hopefully, I'll make some new friends and discover some new things/interests. And, most of all, I want to get over this "health" thing.

So - happy new year to you all and let's hope for great things all around!!

Catching Up

(Some of the places and things mentioned below have links. Please mouse-over to click the link if you want more info.)

I've been living here in Virginia two months and two days.

You'd think that with all of the "free" time I've had during that time I would have been more vocal about my new life, but here's the thing -- before I left for Virginia, a neurologist diagnosed me as having carpal tunnel in both hands and sometimes, my fingers go numb and it's like my hands are asleep. Typing, driving, writing, sleeping, cooking, etc. It just happens. It lasts anywhere from a few seconds to minutes. On top of all of my other medical woes, I just didn't want to think about it. I haven't seen anyone about it since then because I've heard horror stories about people who have surgery and/or treatment that only seems to make things worse. I've also heard horror stories about insurance companies not taking the "illness" seriously.

Anyhoo -- I've done quite a bit of exploring since I landed here. At least a couple of times a week, I will just get in my car and drive around. I'll pick a street and follow it for several miles, memorizing stores, landmarks, cross streets, etc. Sometimes, I'll google a specific store (Dollar Tree, Walgreens, Fashion Bug, Target, Wal-Mart) that I used to frequent in Ohio and then go there and then on my way back home, try to find alternate routes. I've gotten lost sometimes but in getting lost, I've discovered other things and places. I've found neighborhoods that scare me. I've found neighborhoods that impress me. I've noticed that in addition to tourism, retail is HUGE in Virginia Beach. There are shopping malls, shopping centers, independent stores, gas stations, restaurants, etc on every corner. Some are the same old same old that you find everywhere. Some are unique and fun to explore.

The only grocery store VB has in common with Columbus is Kroger. I've never really been a Kroger fan. I don't know why. I think it has something to do with the lackluster deli section. I judge a grocery store's worth by the variety and price of its deli section and its produce section. If a store has an extensive list of ready-to-eat foods (chicken, pastas, etc) that are not your typical processed foods (like cole slaw, macaroni salad, etc), I'm very happy. VB offers several really good options. I immediately fell in love with Farm Fresh which has all kinds of yummy things in their deli section -- meatloaf, veggies, soups, ribs, beef brisket, chicken, teriyaki beef and rice, cornbread, red skin potatoes, turkey. They also have a "wing bar" where you can get breaded, unbreaded, spicy, mild, boneless, popcorn etc chicken wings and drumettes. Always good. Made fresh. They never taste like something that was tossed in the oven from the freezer. Farm Fresh also has this huge salad bar and selection of pre-cut fruits and veggies, perfect for the lazy person like me. I've also discovered a store called The Fresh Market which is like Trader Joes, Whole Foods, and Wild Oats rolled into one. Very nice upscale deli section, huge bakery section, unique fruits and vegetables, fresh flowers, imported foods, gourmet candies, sweets and treats. Lots of bulk nuts, seeds, veggie chips, etc. Very stylish wine section. Lots of organic. Across the street from where I live is a Bloom grocery store, which started out as a Food Lion. When it was Food Lion, I wasn't too impressed with the cleanliness and variety, but now that it is Bloom, they offer more variety and seem to be having really great prices right now to draw in new customers. I've become obsessed with checking out all of the grocery stores and sampling the various deli things. I know. Food. My friend and enemy. Still -- there's this little thrill when I can find something for lunch or dinner that only requires me to press "start" on the microwave yet tastes yummy and home-cooked.

One of the things that VB doesn't seem to have is a proliferation of "Open 24 Hours" big box stores that sell everything from apples to zippers. In Ohio, K-Mart closed most of their stores when they filed bankruptcy. In VB, K-Mart is still thriving. It's the only store nearby that is open 24 hours a day and sells everything from apples to zippers. We do have a Wal-Mart Supercenter but it's not nearby. We have a regular Wal-Mart nearby, but I've only been there twice since I moved here -- to get inexpensive household items. I don't do nearly as much "impulse" shopping as I did in Ohio because if I only need groceries, I go to the grocery store. If I only need household things, I go to the dollar store or Target. I've been to K-Mart a few times but the local K-Mart isn't organized well and it's not that clean either. I don't like shopping in messy stores that look dingy.

I've gotten together a few times with my friend Janelle since moving here. I went up to her place on Halloween to celebrate our October birthdays. We had lunch in her town and then went to Williamsburg to walk around. It was a beautiful day -- sunny, warm but not too warm. I wore flip flops. We sat in a bookstore, talking and people watching, and I couldn't help but think how nice it was to be around someone I've known so long. Then, a couple of weeks later, she came down here and we attended two free baking workshops sponsored by King Arthur Flour. Janelle had mentioned to me that she wanted to learn how to make yeast bread and one day, I was looking at the local newspaper and saw the ad. I called her and asked her if she wanted to attend. She said yes. We had a rushed lunch at a Max and Erma's in the hotel where the workshops were being held and then attended an afternoon session on yeast bread. It was fun and informative so we decided to go back for the evening session on artisan breads. We did some browsing at Pembroke Mall before the night session and then had dinner at Schlotzsky's Deli. They are travelling the USA with these workshops and if you have the chance to attend, I highly recommend it. They gave us gift cards, bowl scrapers, coupons, recipes, catalogs and samples of yeast for attending. I used the gift cards to help with Christmas shopping. The workshop inspired me to want to bake some cookie bars I had seen/tasted at the local Willams Sonoma store so I called Janelle and asked her if I could visit her and use her oven and baking supplies. So, a few days after Thanksgiving, Janelle and I met up at her place and made Pumpkin Pecan Bars and Lemon Bars. I got to meet one of her friends, Cheryl, whom I'd heard a lot about. We all hooked up for lunch and then Cheryl followed us back to Janelle's house. They are major scrapbookers and I'm not so I left them to their shop talk and headed back home. Janelle lives about 45 minutes away in Newport News and the trip requires crossing/using the Hampton Roads Bridge Tunnel which can get pretty congested. The first time I went to her house, it took me 2 hours to get home because an accident blocked the tunnel and there was no way around. Then, Janelle came down here this past Thursday and we had our Christmas gift exchange and then dinner at this great restaurant called the No Frill Grill and then went to the Holiday Lights at the Beach display. Janelle gave me this incredibly soft blanket than Molly immediately claimed as her own.

As you've read in previous blogs, I've been interviewing like crazy for jobs. The job market here is much tighter than I thought it would be. Things are more expensive here than in Ohio yet the jobs pay less. Housing is through the roof and apartments that go for $500 a month in Ohio go for $900 a month here, if you're lucky. As I posted previously, I was finally offered a job in the Collections department at a local loan company, making the same thing I was making in Ohio. I was pretty excited about the job -- mostly because I was glad to have one. But, the closer I got to the start date (tomorrow the 10th), the more I realized I didn't really want to be tied to a call center job... especially not an entry level job that I did 9+ years ago. I was still having panic attacks thinking about it. So, I've kept on applying and interviewing for other jobs, hoping for something better.

On Thursday, while I was waiting on Janelle to show up, a company I had applied at MONTHS ago called me and asked me if I was still interested in a job. I had applied for several positions months ago but never heard anything so I figured I just wasn't qualified. I heard about LandAmerica at my previous company when I was doing payment research -- one of LandAmerica's companies is LoanCare, which is a mortgage servicer, andwe got several loans from LoanCare right before I left and I remembered seeing a Virginia Beach address on one of the payment histories. Anyhow, long story short, I've been checking their website ever since looking for work.

I explained to the recruiter that I had already accepted a Collections position atanother companyand that I start on Monday the 10th and that although I didn't really want that job anymore, I didn't want to turn them down either if they were my only shot. The recruiter said that they really wanted me, that I was the best applicant suited for the job, and asked me if I'd consider them if she was able to get me in for an interview before I started at the other company. I said that I would. She called me back almost immediately with an interview for noon on Friday. The job is in the Loss Mitigation department and is exactly the job that I did in Loss Mitigation at Chase for 5+ years-- only for a smaller team and with fewer accounts. The position is M-F, 8-5. No call center work. No late nights. No weekends unless it's for OT. The manager I interviewed with was AWESOME -- very laid back yet she and I shared a lot of the same beliefs about work ethic, micromanagement, etc. The weird thing is that she looked, talked, acted and dressed a lot like the person who was my manager in Loss Mit. I couldn't believe the similarities. It gives me hope, though, because I really liked that manager and we got along great.

I barely made it home from the interview when the recruiter called and offered me a job -- making several thousand dollars more than theother job and starting two days later. :) I said yes immediately and then spent most of the afternoon filling out paperwork so that I can FEDEX itso that they have it before I start on Wednesday.

I AM much more excited about the job. The company is smaller. The building is brand new. Everyone I talked to/saw today was nice. I already know the job so I know what to expect. The manager even threw out things like having me work on special projects and even possibly promoting upwards to a management position next year. She said the company is growing by leaps and bounds and I'll be getting in on the ground floor and that there's nowhere to go but up.

Whew! A long catch up, huh?

Now, I'm gearing up for the new job and year-end. I can't believe the year is nearly over. I've already completed my Xmas shopping and have mailed/given out my cards and gifts. I'm enjoying living near the beach, especially when my Ohio friends tell me about ice and snow and school cancellations and the weather here is mild, sunny and wonderful. We've had some pretty chilly nights and the wind off of the Bay lowers the temp at night by 10-15 degrees. The house is VERY cold -- no insulation. It has two small baseboard heaters in the entire house and they do not produce any heat. I've bought several space heaters and blankets. When the sun is out, I can open the blinds and the heat of the sun warms the house, but as soon as the sun goes down, it gets chilly. It's supposed to be 75 tomorrow. I think I can suffer through some chilly nights in order to enjoy 75 degree days in the middle of December. :)

I'm looking forward to making some new friends and meeting people. Every now and then, I will lie in bed at night and have these panic attacks based on this "what if" game I play with myself. "what if" I die in my sleep. "what if" I get hurt. "what if" I need help. Then, I work myself up because I realize that I'm so isolated and cut off from normal interaction that no one would really notice for days or weeks if something did happen. I don't talk to my neighbors on a regular basis. Janelle and I can go weeks without contact. I'm not online much. It's a scary thing. I get pretty lonely at times. I'm glad I have unlimited long distance on my cable-based phone account because I call my friend Mandy in Ohio every day.

So- that is pretty much it for my life. :) I'll be posting more soon to let you know how the new job goes. I hope to be more present here in the new year.

Holiday Lights at the Beach

My friend Janelle and I attended the annual Holiday Lights at the Beach. VB closes the boardwalk to foot traffic and opens it to cars and you can drive along the boardwalk and see light displays. I took along my vid camera and Janelle took video while I drove.

Below are some of the videos.

Video 1

Video 2

Video 3

Video 4

I could not upload a couple of them because they were too big. I had to make "still" snapshots out of them. You can see them below:

Holiday Lights at the Beach