Today is April Fool's Day and I can't remember ever actually "fooling" anyone.  Ever.

I tried once in high school-- told my best friend that I was moving, but she saw right through me.  I tried a few years ago to convince some co-workers I was quitting my job -- even boxed up my belongings, but no one really believed me.

How about you?  Has anyone ever fooled you on April Fool's Day?  Have you ever gotten one over on someone?

Today was my last day in my current position at work... but before we get there... I need to do a "previously on..." moment.

On Tuesday, my boss sent an e-mail to the entire team asking, "What do we want to do for Bev's last day on Friday?"  She accidentally included me in the e-mail.    For some reason, my boss really likes to schedule after-hours happy hours as a going-away party.  I don't like to socialize on my time with people I see 8-10 hours a day, 5 days a week.  I've done it a few times and it was awkward.  You don't want to drink too much for fear you'll say the wrong thing and you worry that whatever you say or do in the bar or restaurant will come back to haunt you.

So- I "responded to all" that I really didn't need any kind of fuss and I'd be quite ok with just ordering pizza or something.  Said that I had plans after work and couldn't do a happy hour.  I didn't hear anything else the rest of the week so when I left yesterday, I just assumed that we were gonna do the lunch thing. 

Last night, my boss calls and leaves a message around 6:30 p.m. "Bev, we're having a going away party for you after work tomorrow.  You said you had plans but I thought I'd call you so you can make arrangements with your schedule."  She didn't sound cheerful or friendly or happy in any way.  She sounded like she was mad that I had plans... and the tone was like "you will come to this or else."  Who ever heard of a mandatory after-hours going-away party?

When I got to work this morning, I sent an e-mail to the whole team thanking them for the gesture but apologized and explained that due to a prior engagement, I wasn't able to attend-- but encouraged them to go ahead and have it in my absence if they wanted.

One girl said, "Wait, you mean she didn't even ask you if you were available before she planned it?"  I said no.

So, the "pet" speaks up and says that the boss realized long after everyone had gone on Thursday (and the only person left was the pet) that she had forgotten to firm up any type of going-away party and then looked at her schedule and realized that 4:30 was the only time she had free on Friday.

When the boss got in, she saw my e-mail and seemed a little frustrated that I was blowing off my own going-away.  Ok, I admit-- I was being a bit childish because I could have altered my plans a little, but I was put off by the whole mandatory feeling of the thing ... and that it had to be on the boss's terms.  The "pet" and the boss did some super covert meeting and whispering and soon after, we got a "reschedule" invite for noon.

Now-- I have to admit -- I was pleased with their spontaneous adjusting of schedules... and with the creative send-off they gave me.

They threw me a "beach party".  Gave me a tote filled with beach toys, flip flops, a towel, and an inflatable turtle.  They even printed off the recipe for "sex on the beach" and put it in a Hawaiian print cup.

I was very flattered and touched.  

Still-- at the end of the day, I was very happy to be leaving and felt no sadness or regret about my decision.  For the past 3 weeks, all I've been getting are negative comments about my "downgrading" or "taking a step down" or "giving up such a good job".  Everyone wants some dirty nasty stories for why I'm leaving the team.  Some people speculated that I did something wrong.  Some wanted to believe I had a fight with someone. Some people were supportive.  Some were disbelieving.  A lot were in shock that they wouldn't have me to work with anymore (which was very flattering.) 

But.. I'm ready for a change.  I know the new job is going to be demanding.  I know I'm going to have a bit of a struggle learning something new and unknown.  But-- at the end of the day, it has to be better than what I was doing.  And-- in my mind, I keep reminding myself that it won't be forever.  It's just the next stop in my journey and I don't have to stay if I don't like it.

On Thursday, my boss's boss called me into her office for an "exit review."  My turn to tell them why I'm leaving and what they could have done to keep me.  So, for 1 1/2 hours, I chronicled every blinking mishap, act of unprofessionalism and petty childishness I witnessed on the team for the past year and a half.  Then, I gave her suggestions for improving things.  Instead of promising to make things better or thanking me for my insight, she gave me a lecture on poor attitude and negative behavior.  I just laughed.  I pointed out to her that this position is the only position I've had in my 9 years with the company where I woke up every day dreading coming to work because  I knew that someone would steal my sunshine at some point in the day.  I asked her, "Could you be positive in an atmosphere like that?" 

Anyhoo-- good riddance.  I hope I have better luck this go round with management.  She didn't even come to my "going away" party or sign my card... yet she sent her secretary over for a plate of food about an hour after the party.

My "going away" present to them (the bosses) was an e-mail filled with inspiration quotes about leadership, respect, kindness, integrity, professionalism and management. 

It was my way of "positively" thumbing my nose at them.  No one can say I didn't leave with dignity, respect and professionalism.

As you already know from previous blogs, I have some pretty undesirable and noisy neighbors.  Thugs.  Loud, noisy, noisy, rude and disrespectful thugs.  They don't work.  They don't seem to sleep.  They roam the complex all hours of the day and night yelling and screaming and carrying on.  They can't talk to one another without yelling and since my apartment is smack dab in the middle of their apartments, all of their yelling and screaming filters right into my apartment.  When they aren't screaming and yelling, they are sitting in their big Escalade with that awful rap/hip hop/anti-women/full of profanity stuff blaring from their stereo so loudly that my windows rattle.

I've complained and complained and complained.  I've even called the cops.  But, they are smarter/trickier than the usual thug. As soon as they see the cop car enter the property, they disappear.  As soon as the manager's car enters the property, they are on their best behavior.  I end up looking like a crazy woman who is reporting stuff that doesn't exist.

I even started to look for a new apartment but then decided that if I move out, they win.  I've been here 9 years. They've been here less than 1.  I work for a living, pay my rent and don't bother anyone.  I am the epitome of the perfect resident.  So-- why should I be the one to move out because they don't know how to behave?

I scheduled a "mental health day" today with the plan of sleeping in a little and sort of gearing up for the new job I begin next Monday.  I know I'll be in training for a few weeks and that the job will be demanding.  It probably won't be until Memorial Day before I get another long weekend.  Well, at 4:30 a.m., they started. One thug who lives across the way yells at another thug who lives next door to me.  That thug then yells at someone else who lives a few doors down.  I covered my head with my pillow and tuned them out.  Then, around 8 a.m., they decided to start the music.  Around 9, they added dribbling a basketball to the mix.  By 10, they were gathered outside of my apartment "talking".

I opened my door and said, "Seriously-- do you guys ever just stay inside your apartment to have a conversation?"  Three sets of eyes turned and looked at me.  "Uh, it's like gonna be 80 degrees today," one of them say. "Turn on your air conditioner. Go sit at the mall. Go to a bar.  I don't care.  I'm sick of hearing you yelling and screaming at each other at all hours of the day and night."   One of the guys said, "It ain't me, man."  I just looked at him and said, "Oh, but it is you standing here right now, talking to your friends like they need a miracle ear!"  He just shrugged and said, "You got the wrong guy" and kept on talking on his cell phone.  His buddies were snickering and laughing like I was some big joke.  I said, "Fine. Stay right here."  Then, I came in, grabbed my camera and went out and took their pictures.  "Now, can you tell me what apartments you live in?  I want to make sure I get it right for the letter I'm sending to management about you."  The guys took off -- and gathered in front of another apartment about 3 doors away.

For a moment, I felt good.  I came in and wrote a nice long letter to the management firm and included their photo.  About an hour later, I left my apartment to mail the letter and I waved it at them as I drove by.  I felt like Michael Douglas in that moving FALLING DOWN when he throws a hissy fit in McDonalds. 

I'd like to say that I've intimidated them enough that they've been on their best behavior but sadly, they've decided it's fun to torment the "white b*tch" (their words) and keep turning up the radio in short bursts all day -- too short for me to be able to get them "caught" by anyone and just long enough to be annoying. 

Now, they are grilling in the middle of the parking lot and the wind just happens to be pulling the smoke right towards my apartment.  They think they are cute. 

I wish I knew how to beat them.  If I move out, they win.  If I stay, I lose.

The building where I work is this huge "U" shape with a courtyard, pond and walking path in the center of the "U".  In the middle of the pond, there is a water feature that shoots water up into the air geyser-fashion.

There are entrances into the courtyard from most of the interior sides of the "U".  They are for "emergency" purposes but most of us use it as a short-cut to the main part of the "U" where the cafeteria is located.  My current department is in the south west end (as far as you can get without being in the parking lot) of the "U".

On Thursday morning, I was cutting across the courtyard when I took a moment to just stop and ... inhale.  The sky was just getting light, the temperature was a humidity-free 63 degrees and there was a light breeze that caught some of the mist from the water feature and sent in across the courtyard.  Some of the moisture hit my face and I stood there, face to sky, and had this incredible moment of deja vu from the first sunrise I experienced at the beach a couple of years ago.  I smiled to myself and for a moment felt this incredible peace. 

It's amazing how something as simple as reliving a pleasant memory can make a person re-focus.  I eventually went inside to buy my breakfast but for the rest of the day, all I could think about was how badly I want to move away and how desperately I want to live close enough to the ocean that when I'm having a bad day, I can walk to the water's edge, close my eyes and feel the spray of a new day across my feet and my face.

I am one month away from being debt-free and about 6 months away from the "goal date" I set for moving to the beach.  I feel like the child who is waiting for Christmas.  The impulsive part of me wants to go now.  The responsible part of me knows that there's no way I can afford to go now.

I guess I just need to find a few moments every morning to stand by the pond and just remember the feeling for now.

I was sitting here Saturday night, doing laundry, paying bills, watching tv and getting increasingly annoyed by my noisy drunken neighbors when it hit me-- I'm officially an old fart.

I like being home in my cozy clothing reading books or watching tv. 

I don't go out after dark much anymore.

I have a "bed time" that if I miss, I get cranky.

I have joints that are creaky and muscles that ache if I try to do things I haven't done in years.

I prefer the quiet to the noise.

I don't understand why people need to blast music when they are driving.

I balance my checkbook every month.

I watch the local news every night at 6 p.m.

I clip coupons.

I scour the sales ads and won't buy big-ticket items until they are on sale.

I think of most of my co-workers as "kids" and find their antics only mildly amusing.

Cell phones annoy me and I wouldn't know how to send a text message if you held a gun to my head and told me to do it.

I worry about the future, war, the environment and social security.

I feel embarassed when I catch myself "noticing" guys who are young enough to be my sons.

(sigh)  No wonder I'm so grumpy all the time.  I've turned into MAXINE from Hallmark.

I got my official job offer on Monday and my mood at work has been incredibly perky over the past few days.  I feel like a major weight has been lifted from my shoulders. 

My boss won't make eye contact with me and keeps sending me these "grunt" projects to do.  Busy work.  As if I don't have enough other stuff to do.

Anyhoo--  counting down the days.  Looking forward to the change.

No winning lottery ticket...

but I did get a call this morning for an interview this afternoon. 

I went to the interview.

The manager was still as excited about me as she was a month ago.

I start, barring no catastrophes, on April 3.

I can't wait to tell my current manager.  She keeps giving me these projects for "down the road" because I think she thought I was just bluffing about finding a new job.

I can't tell my manager until HR makes the "official offer" but according to the woman I met with today, it's a done deal.  We mostly chatted for an hour about life, work habits, etc.  It's so nice to feel wanted and needed.  It's gonna be a tough job, a busy job, but I'm ok with that.  I'm not afraid of working hard for someone who appreciates me and I have a feeling this new manager will be very appreciative.

So-- thank you to all of you who have been dancing, crossing fingers, sending white light, offering luck and thinking of me.  It worked. 

Maybe I should just learn to be more patient.

Interview cancelled again yesterday.  I've given up hope. No new interview yet.

Lottery worth $355 million tonight. Bought a ticket.

Tired of waiting on the hiring manager to get to me.  A co-worker said that she interviewed today for the job I thought was "promised" to me.  (sigh) 

So hard to keep spirits up.  Winning lottery ticket will help.

Sick of snow, too.  And cold weather.

I was lying in bed on Thursday night, wishing that my disrespectful neighbors would turn off their ghetto-blasting music so that I could fall asleep.  It was around 10:30 p.m.

I got out of bed and picked up the phone to call the afters-hours manager to complain eventhough I knew that she'd tell me that there's nothing she can do.

Just as I dialed the number, I heard three gunshots.  They were so clear that it sounded like they were in my apartment.  I lifted the drapes in my bedroom in time to see this light colored panel van go speeding out of my apartment complex and two black guys crouched down beside their car (which was blasting music) and pointing in the vicinity between my apartment building and the one next to it.

I got the apartment manager on the phone and she said, "I heard them, too.  Do you see anything?"  By this time, I could hear shouting and blood-curdling screams.  A few seconds later, I could hear police sirens.  I told the manager what I had heard and seen.  She said she had to go meet the police.

I watched from my window as  my apartment complex quickly filled up with police cars, ambulances and news vans.  Neighbors poured out of their apartments to gather in the grassy area at the end of my building.  I looked out my rear window and saw police officers putting up crime scene tape right outside my back door.

I called the manager back and she informed me that a guy was shot in the chest and died on the property and that the van I saw was related to the crime.

For the next few hours, I tried to sleep, but there was so much noise.  The crime happened less than 25 feet from my apartment and everyone seemed to be congregating beneath my bedroom window.  I heard words like "murder weapon", "secure the crime scene", "dead on arrival" and "victim was unresponsive." 

The next morning, when I left for work, a cop shined a flashlight in my face as I opened my door.  The grassy area near my apartment was taped off and there were little "evidence" placards on the walkway and in the parking lot. There were floodlights illuminating the area and several police cars parked at either end of the grassy pass-through.

I watch all of the crime shows on tv yet there's nothing like seeing it up close to make you realize how "real" crime and murder really is.  I'm mad at myself for not paying more attention to the van. 

Anyhoo -- here's a link to the story: http://www.dispatch.com/news-story.php?story=250117

I showed up for my 1:30 interview today and no one else did.  I called HR after 30 minutes of waiting to find out what happened.  The HR recruiter was baffled.  She called me a few moments later and told me that the hiring manager has been out of the office all week due to illness and wasn't even aware that HR had set up interviews (yeah, plural... so much for me thinking this interview was special and only a formality so that they can make an offer) for her all afternoon today.

So, I'm back to waiting.  The HR person told me that the hiring manager won't be back until next week and will set up the interviews herself when she comes back.

I did something last night I haven't done in ages -- I went out on a Wednesday night.   Once I got hooked on LOST, I blocked Wednesday as a social activity night unless there was a repeat.  I've been kind of disappointed in LOST this season so when the chance to go out to dinner and a movie (Music and Lyrics -- very cute!) came up, I set the VCR to tape LOST and went out.  I didn't even think about LOST.  I guess the honeymoon is over.  My LOST-watching co-workers said that I didn't miss anything.  I'm gonna go watch it after I upload this blog.

The lottery is worth $267 million tomorrow night.  I bought a ticket tonight. Maybe I won't need the new job. :)