Hey all,

I had a video game party at my house Friday, where me and five guys system linked two 360s and played Halo 2 all night long. Then I completely slept through Saturday.

Anyway, that's not the point!

Today we're at to discuss science and how something impossible occured. The point is HOW, notice that please. Here is the story:

Around fifteen years ago (I was there, but like three years old), we (obviously not including me) all decided that my grandmother (who was single) was lonely and her dog Barcley were lonely. After some heated debate, we decided that a cat would be necessary to fill in the void.

We went a pretty sleezy (we'd find that out later) pet adoption place and found a nice black and white kitten with green eyes. He was adorable! It was also a good deal, he was free, male, and neutered cat!

Luckily, Granny J (which we called her), liked the kitty. After some... influence she named it Luigi. Luigi was a good kitten, he was nice and got along well with Barcley. He grew up and then.... and then..... he.....

HAD KITTENS

Yes, read that again... our neutered male cat had kittens. No scope of science has ever managed to replicate this feat, but a neutered male cat had three adorable kittens.

If you can figure this out, I will be amazed. Until then, it is unquestionable.

Darth Zew

PS. Yes, I know it we were bullcrapped... Luigi'sa woman.

Hi, I'm not in a good mood. If you want something glumly angry, then this is for you. Enjoy.

Anyway, I hate pirates. No, not the awesome eye-patch mooks, but the kind that make and buy fake video games, movies, and even medicine.

I live in Sao Paulo, Brazil. *If you are a moron, then please read the section that is marked with these *** if not, then continue to read this*.

*******I live in the rainforest where I have to go to school by cannoe. But to get to the cannoe, I have to run because I might get eaten by a lion on a way there, oh yeah, and there's snakes and viscious monkeys. The Amazon is a nice place, but you can't really ever have time to look at the scenery because there are alligators and wild native cannibals that might want to grab a snack. I myself am pretty defended because I'm real good with a Bo Staff and after getting hit many times I'm immune to all but the most advanced poisons the natives use.********

Sao Paulo is the second largest city in the world (to know what that looks like, use Google Earth or play GRAW and watch the end credits, it looks like that). There are somewhere between 23-40 million people, quite a few people make counts, but they vary between those statistics.

Now, in this city is a placed Vinte-Cinco (meaning twenty-five). Vinte-Cinco is ridden with pirates and falsificadores (falsifiers) of all breeds and varieties. The place is a huge market where you can buy fake watches, sunglasses, designerclothing, action figures, laser pointers, cleaning products, medicine, movies, and almost anything you'd need fakes of. But the one I absolutely hate the most is fake video games.

Any game that operates with a disc is welcome to be purchased falsetto (false). First,you have to get your system destravado (or unlocked, roughly). Basically they remove some compents in the system and then you can use fake games. This costs usually around 100 reais, or 50 dollars. It usually happens overnight and then you can buy all kinds of fake games for just a few dollars.

I havea friend who did this to his 360. He buys falsetto games all the time! He'll buy them and then go around boasting about having all these games. I hate that. But what I hate more, is that people who do this can't accept the moral consequences and are impossible to argue with. I tell him that I'm doing the right thing, that he's wrong but there is no reason. He has games and doesn't pay much for them. I've tried telling him that it's only right that you give back to the developers, but that never works because they already make enough money.

Here's the kicker, for me anyway. I have more games than he does and it will probably stay that way. Why? Well, the first and foremost thing that I believe is that God has blessed for standing for what's right. The other, is, well for other reasons that are more obvious.

If you buy pirate games, then I've just lost all respect for you as a gamer. If you don't, pat yourself on the back and go enjoy a clean consciense.

*another moron section*

********Did you know that there's no internet in Brazil?!?*******

D. Zew

It's a dark, semi-apocalyptic world that is ruledby beaurocracy and fear... oh, wait... it's 2007 and it's in Texas.

You play the man of men, Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is the most powerful man in the world. See for yourself:

Chuck Norris can clog a toilet with pee.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands, now they are simply called "the Islands".

Chuck Norris doens't go hunting. Hunting implies a chance of failure, no, Chuch Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushed everything else down.

When God said "Let there light!" Chuck Norris said, "Say please!"

Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

You see? You get to be the most powerful man in the world.

The problem is, the Dark LordJennifer has tricked you into giving up your powers. You've lost everything, including your almighty beard. Now, you are forced to exact revenge and gain back your powers.

An exciting third person-shooter featuringhundreds of guns (even though there are lots of them, you really only need your .44 magnum)!

Features and RPG-element where you'll gain back your powers! Unleash everything from healing tears all the way to your almighty roundhouse kicks.

150 player co-op play featuring Mr. T, Kratos, Albus Dumbledore, and many more!

Features four difficulty settings: Wimpy, Normal, Hero, True Chuck Norris

Purchase The Official Chuck Norris Video Game coming soon from Chuck Norris himself on the Xbox 360, PS3, PC, and Atari 2600 (because he can). No Wii version because Chuck Norris will not be motion-sensed.

If you ask me, Bioshock is the beginning of the real Next-Gen. The crude awakening is now. The awakening is simple, but at the same time difficult to really absorb.

What is it, you might ask?

That video games are more like novels than movies.

Why?

A book has chapters, that are good places to leave off and start again later. A video game has levels or checkpoints that serve as effective chapters. That's one thing that makes a good book readable, chapters that you can close and leave you guessing until the next read. In game's case, you can just stop and leave it for tomorrow, once again having you guessing at what may happen next.

A book doesn't need to be read all at once, unlike a film. No, a book you can easily stop and easily wait a week before picking it back up. A film you just watch it for two hours and you won't likely want to finish half a movie after a week, unless it was that good. A video game is the same as a book, if I don't play a game for a week, it's that easy to pick it back up.

In a book, you become the character, you're absorbed!When I read a good book, I know it's good when I become the main character and I know his way of thinking... like getting into character when acting. When I see a film, I just see characters battling things out, which is like having a book read to me. In a game, especially RPGs, you ARE the character. His struggle is yours and you do his battling.

Film-based games have almost never worked. Yes, there have been good ones, like Goldeneye. But that's because they're infused with book-like elements. Such as chapters.

The better the writing, the better the book.A bad writer can havegreat story, but that's not enough if he writes like some random noob. Same as in a game, the better the gameplay, the better the game. Writing is like a control scheme. If it's good, it's going to be a fair game even though the other elements aren't great.

Bioshock is proof that games should be more like good novels than films. An envirnment in a book is its words, its descriptions as told by that author.A film's envirnment can't be truly absorbed, but in a video game you can see exactly what the authors wanted you to see and feel. The envirnment is a much alive in a video game as in a book. Bioshock's biggest element is definitely envirnment. You can see the decay of Rapture as you go through the game, feeling it strongly.

Also in Bioshock is one of the biggest things that makes books intellectual properties: symbolism and intelligent thinking lurking below the surface. IGN's review documents this better than I could: www.pc.ign.com/articles/813/813641p1.html Yeah, it's that deep. Deep enough to be abook on its own.

This doesn't just apply to Bioshock. I think that if gaming were to branch away from "cinematic" it would really become a thing on its own. And in that maybe that jerk Ebert would recognize gaming as an art (if you didn't read that article, go find it).

Darth Zew

Hey

Really, when does next-gen start? I've been sitting here at my house doing nothing waiting for the "next generation of video gaming" to start. Let's analyze here:

It didn't start when the Xbox 360 was launched: No, the first games were actually rather disappointing. The best there was Perfect Dark Zero and then Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter came out and those were awesome, but that's not really... "the next-gen".

The Wii didn't do it either: Sure, yeah... "a whole new way to play games". You have a Wii-more and several severely retarted games that don't amount to anything. "All flash, no substance" like the little review thing says. We wanted High-Definition systems that could play our DVDs. Add on top of that, we wanted deep games that truly immerse the player into a digital, HD gaming experience! That didn't happen... Instead, games became the flashy crap that populates that Wii now... While, it's selling like heck, yes, it's falling short on where gaming was really going and I liked where it was going... who's with me?

PS3 doesn't cut it either: High-defintion, blu-ray, built in Wi-fi, promising online service... what else do you want? Oh, well, how about, uh, games! And I don't know, maybe some lower prices would help. You see, while the PS3 literally is a superior system, it has a lack of what is at the heart of video games: video games. With six-axis, it's inferior motion-sensing and downright unfomfortable controller, it just takes away from the games. In other words, it's not really good enough!

E307 didn't really kick anything off: Well, well, we all sat around watching E3 and arguing about it in comment boxes and then I sit back an realise that E3 didn't accomplish anything. What really impressive item was announced? Really, it was so pointless!

August, the start of the 07 Storm is here: ...and so, yeah, when does that start? Oh, yeah tomorrow... Bioshock comes out. Well, I just saw THIS: http://www.gamespot.com/news/6176905.html What is the point of the other games coming out the 21st? Who cares about Brunswick Pro Bowling in the first place?

In conclusion, I think Next-Gen won't officially start until 2008 starts. When it's established already and then game companies will have a real reason to make better games. Really, the 07 storm isn't the start of next-gen. It's 2008. A fresh year, a fresh face, a fresh gen.

But it really only starts when PS2 finally dies. It's time to go, PS2, seriously....

Game on!

Darth Zew

How you doin'?

This post is exclusively about your thoughts, concerns, or general ideas of what you want Gears ofWar 2 to be. Just saying Gears of War 2 makes me drool.

My wants (some are NEEDS):

1. I want new characters!I like that there were only four on the squad, it makes sense, but it's time for new ones. Marcus Fenix and The Train deserve to live, but it's time for Dom and Baird to go bye-bye. They should be replaced by less annoying more characterized characters. I was thinking somebody like Lynch in Kane and Lynch. You know, totally crazy but insane at what he does. The other could be anything... maybe even Dom, just as long as Baird dies... he annoyed the crap out of me!

2. Weapons, weapons, and more weapons. Basically, there's potential for some cool weapons. Like, what about something that can go through walls? I had a thought, what about some kinda Carbine? The COG Carbine. It'd have a chainsaw bayonet on it, and it would perform like a minilancer. It'd be more powerful, but less ammo, and it'd be very inaccurate, meaning it could destroy completely at medium-close range. Then if that locust son of a gun got in close, you could chainsaw him. What about some kinda grenade launcher? Last idea could bea sword, I guess, but it'd be a little pointless.

3. PLOT!!! Normally I'd beg for a prequel, but I think that's what the movie'll do. Anyway... Yeah, there should be a more extensive plot, this time revolving around the Locust Queen. For instance, the Locust have somehow come back and now they've discovered how to reach whatever the name is of that one safe place is on Sera. Basically, all I could ask for is an actual plot this time around.

4. Gameplay tweaks! Maybe some kind of improved hand-to-hand combat system the involved the ability to block melees, or mabye even some kind of "saber-lock" thing where you'd have to push buttons around to outpower your enemies. They could also make some cool new animations.

That's all I can think of now. What do you think?

Game on!

Darth Zew

Nothing

What happened to me is exactly what's happening to you right now. Yes, now, at this very split-second of time*. How can I determine that? Because I know it happens constantly. You don't have to be some kind of psychic to know that this happens. Seriously, you must have a great life if this has never, ever happened to you.

Well, what is it? Nothing. That's the story of life: nothing happens. Five minutes later, nothing continues to happen. Five minutes after that I make something happen, but then that turns into nothing and life is once again consumed by that black hole known as boredom. Anyway, back to nothing. Yeah, sounds great doesn't it? It bothers you now why you're reading this. Well, I guess it's something for me now: I'm wasting a few minutes of your life. Yeah, I know, that's a real accomplishment! NOT! Your life already is a waist because you're agreeing with me that nothing happens to you. Oh, joy, now that has me wondering if I'm wasting my own time writing this... Don't you just love redundancy? Well, redundancy is good for the environment! Reduce, reuse, recycle. But doesn't that make nothing? After all, nothing is the absence of something and doesn't something cease to be something when it no longer presents any value and is therefore worth nothing?

I was thinking about envying a life where something constantly happens, where life is a constant thrill-ride of something. Wow, amazing. But then something would become nothing and nothing would become something, however, in that same case, nothing would still be nothing and something would be something, but on the contrary, would a different something still be something in a world where something is nothing and nothing is something? Have I confused you? Maybe that's something, but alas, now you're back to nothing.

Is there a way to appreciate nothing? If you start appreciating nothing, then it becomes something. You can turn nothing into something, but can something become nothing? Good question! However, seeing as this article is about nothing, I can't answer that because, well, an answer is something. Well, an answer could be nothing, but only if you view nothing as metaphorical. What is nothing? But to ask what something is, is to only to reveal the fact that there is something. If you view nothing in a more metaphorical sense, then anything can be nothing. Which brings us back to the point that something can be nothing, where nothing can also be something, but on the contrary nothing can still be nothing, but for some reason something is always something.

So, to assist you in determining whether something may be nothing or nothing may be something, I've created 4 simple yes or no questions:

1. Can you see the subject in question (either in your eyes or your mind)? If yes, then you have found something, if no or you are still in question move on to question 2.

2. Is the subject in question visible to others (mentally or physically)? If yes, you have found something. If no, either you need to see your local psychiatrist or you should just move on to the next question.

3. Has the object in question been in question more than once? If yes, then you have either have a big imagination or you simply have something that you should research on Wikipedia. If no, then you should move on to question 4.

4. Are you asking yourself why are you taking this survey? If yes, then you should stop. If no, then you really need to go to your local "funny farm**".

I sincerely hope that I've helped with your nothing problem that might or might not exist depending on your level of psychological difficulties, we all have them, so don't be shy to share them with your local spiritual life coordinator (they always know what to do). The best thing you can do about nothing is to use something to combat nothing so that nothing is no longer not something and then you'll have something. Something is, in general, better than nothing, that is, if you are intending to not have nothing, but in the case of intending to have nothing then I'm sorry to say, you have something because wanting nothing is to want something. So, is nothing actually something in first place?

I think something is stalking you. Avoid something at all costs, do not talk to strangers in any case, especially if they are following you and being generally creepy. I think creepy applies because something killed nothing. Nothing never wins, ever.

*This means the exact instant to the nearest nanosecond that you finished reading the word time.

**May be at any time replaced with: nut house, psych ward, insane asylum, or nothing (depending on how you view nothing).

I just wanted to tell everyone here to please notice my new badge. It is now that of someone who isa Total Access subscriber! You'll be seeing me a lot more now... you know: making my own forum threads, posting videos, that kinda stuff. Can't wait!

'sup?

I assume we've all heard about the now-infamous lawsuits going back and forth between Epic Games and Silicon Knights. Well, if not, here are the links (the first one is the first lawsuit, the second is the second one.. wow):

http://www.gamespot.com/news/6175386.html

http://www.gamespot.com/news/6176435.html?om_act=convert&om_clk=newstop&tag=newstop;title;2

Now, a brief summary in case you have no interest whatsoever in reading both full articles:

Silicon Knights is creating a game called "Too Human" in this game they originally planed to use the Unreal Engine 3, which is being created by Epic Games. Well, Silicon Knights decides to stop using UE3 because of "false and misleading statements" from Epic. Also they claim that Epic failed to make a working UE3 in time and that forced SK to make their own engine. They go on to state that Epic used profit from UE3 to create competing games and even, (this is a quote): "while simultaneously sabotaging efforts by Silicon Knights and others to develop their own video games." (PING*) In short, SK is accusing Epic of: fraud, negligent misrepresentation, intentional interference with contractual obligations, breach of warranty, and unjust enrichment. Wow. One of their arguments, is that at E306 people were able to compare Gears of War and Too Human and saw vastly better results in Gears. (PING**) SK is sueing Epic for every last penny of profit made in Gears.

Now, because of all this fuss, Epic Games has decided to countersue and attempt to dismiss all charges against them. Their dismissal is first based on this:

"...Epic had committed to delivering a working engine for the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 within six months of each system's final development kits being sent out, the motion to dismiss claimed that Epic was obligated merely to "demonstrate" that the Unreal Engine 3 would run on the Xbox 360 by March of 2006. The motion made no mention of the PlayStation 3 deadline." (PING***)

Then there's the countersuit. Epic is claiming that they are being cheated. Saying that they want to steal the UE3 technology and pay nothing for it. SK had access to the engine code for nine months and even gota discount if they used the engine exclusively for all games (PING****). Epic says that SK's new engine is a violation of the previous terms and that it's basically stealing their trade secrets. They also have some good evidence that SK did indeed copy the engine. They want a hefty price for damages and that the engine be destroyed.

Now, to get this thing down to pure fact:

PING #1 (the one with one star above it): THIS reallystood out because how do they define sabotage? Is making a better game really sabotage? Or are they referring to sending in stealthed assassins to put wrenches in their chassis and stuff like that? Either way, I think sabotage is putting things way too far, especially considering they have no really solid evidence. Have they considered yet that the Unreal Engine 3 really isn't that great? I hate saying that, but it may be true. Then again, notice that SK is the ONLY company complaining about UE3... Why isn't anyone else stepping up to the plate here if it really is bad?

PING #2: Okay, have they considered that maybe Too Human actually sucks? Really, it is not beyond any realm of possibility that they made a game that wasn't that great! This company to me sounds so arrogant that they're going to try to rob Epic Games because... they suck. While, that can't be proven... could it be that they aren't using the UE3 properly? It sounds like this may be their own fault.

PING #3: Now, onto nabbing Epic. It states that all they to do was show that it could at least run on the 360. Wow. That's... impressive. NOT. This is a load of legal garbage right here. It should be their responsibilty to make a working and efficient product that they promised to deliver. Just because something works, doesn't mean it's what's asked for. For instance, a NES is a working video game system, but I wanted was a 360... do you see the difference here?

PING #4: If this is true in any way, then SK is officaly screwed. Really. Seriously, that is strong evidence that SK could have copied the game code. They're also accusing Epic of cheating them, but it sounds to me like they're getting a raw deal here!

MY WORD:

I hope this blows overno harm, no foul. I believe that Epic Games is doing the right thing by countersuing instead of trying to simply defend itself. If they threaten Silicon Knights like that, there's a chance that a lot of damage could be done. Now, both sides could lose here, but either way it's a lot of hurt. I'm hoping that both sides will see this and decide to back down and reach a settlement.

I will add another blog about this in two days time. Why? I just wrote a pretty interogatory e-mail to Silicon Knights, hoping to get some truth. If they come through, I'll copy their response and my e-mail and then give an opinion.

PING #5 (new one): I just went to Epic's webpage and found no way to contact them. Also, they're now hiring, which hints that they really plan on winning this or getting a settlement.

UPDATE, MAJOR: This is from Epic's page:

In a story broken by IGN.com it was announced today that Unreal Engine 3 will be used exclusively in all next-generation games developed by Silicon Knights, "creators of award winning titles such as Blood Omen: Legacy of Kain, Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem and Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes". Silicon Knights says that "Unreal Engine 3 is by far the best technology for next generation systems". IGN, one of the world's top gaming sites says that "The Unreal Engine 3 has quickly surpassed RenderWare and other similar technologies as the most sought after backbone for next-generation games". Click here to read the actual press release.

Notice what SK said about the engine? Make your own opinion here, but why wouldn't they copy the engine? It says here that it was their plan to only use the UE3 engine. Isn't that breaking a promise similar to Epic's?

OK, that's about it. I've pretty much made it clear that after A LOT of research (this took me around two hours to finish) I've come to the conclusion that SK is in the wrong here, the facts simply point right at them with a guilty finger. I want this to blow over, because SK has made good games, but I strongly believe that Epic will win this thing.

PINGing just for you,

Darth Zew

EDIT: No word from Silicon Knights. I think they're avoiding anything related to the lawsuit, which forces me to draw conclusions. One, is that they simply don't want to talk about it or don't have time for petty people such as me asking questions. Two, they don't want to tell the truth. Not responding period is more suspicious than simply saying "please don't ask", so I'm actually more on the suspicious side than the "oh, OK" side. Anyway, have a nice day.

I first want to apologize, I've been a little unfair to people. I never defined my goals and what I'd like to see happen on this blog. So here goes:

The vision of The Darth Zone: a place where gamers can go to get a crap-free space. All bullcrap will be cut aside here, the tough questions will be asked and answered to the best of my ability. Here, fanboys will be chainsawed on site. I will be rude and tough when I have to be, but not innapropriate. There will be times when I may be called on bullcrap, but only because I was malinformed. I will not succumb to fanboy cowardice and simply continue in my wrong ways, rather, I will check up on the subject and admit defeat if I have to. Either way, there's no crap here. Period.

QUESTIONS that may arise from the vision statement:

What is "to the best of my ability"?

This simply means that I will give you all the sides I can think of in a question, rather than giving the answer that I believe is right and only that (unless stated otherwise), I'll give a no bull analysis that will allow you to make your own opinion. I have an opinion and so do you, I respect an opinion even if I don't agree. I do not however, respect bullcrap.

Define "crap" and "bullcrap":

Basically this is anything that is either flat wrong or biased. I can't stand false information and I definately think that any biased information or people is a bad source. Hence, crap.

What do you mean by rude and tough?

I mean that if being nice and trying to correct someone doesn't work, I won't be afraid to be rude to him. For instance, he flat out states that the Wii is the best. I'll probably ask why and contenst him with other info. If he keeps it up, I won't hesitate to use my guns and get this guy in the right. All video game systems are good, it's just that some aren't doing as well as others.

You sound like Bill O'Reilly. Why?

That's where I got the idea of a No Spin Zone for gaming. I know a lot of people don't like Bill O'Reilly, but I'm not arguing politics, I'm arguing video games, which is a far less sensitive topic and there really is a right opinion to have, which I've detailed in a below article about being a good gamer, I'll repost that later just for kicks.

Now, one last thing. I will post occasional humor articles, just because I feel like it. I will explicitly state when they're humor articles, so don't rave about me in the comments because it's not true or something.

Anyway, tell people about me, you may request articles by messaging me, etc.

Darth Zew