Once again, today was yet another memorable one. First of all, I've never been a fan of holidays - only Thanksgiving. Here we are, though - Labor Day Weekend, ah. Thankfully I didn't have to produce any physical labor, just pure relaxation.

My family decided to delve into a barbecue at our local state park. My mother invited Kati and she willingly accepted the offer, unfortunately. Yes, you heard me correctly. I hate these types of ordeals: get-together[s]. I dread them in fact - never enjoyed them, mainly because I feel obligated to talk. Nonetheless, Kati met more of my family and seemed to enjoy the company. There was one incident which she felt uncomfortable, and that was because of my sister's friend, Heather. She has this major "crush" on me, and was constantly looking over in our direction - as if she was sexing me with her eyes. That's usually how it goes when girls look at me [just kidding]. It was sickening.

Anyway, it was an okay two hours spent. I wasn't planning on over-welcoming my stay that long, but Kati insisted to stay. She infuriates me on some occasions. Actually, she never does, and I have no idea why I just said that. Moving along. Plus, she was the driver. I couldn't necessarily have a say in this situation. The entire time I was giving various signals to go and leave, but no. Needless to say, we did leave earlier than the rest of the families, and she made it up to me once we got home, in a very meaningful and pleasurable way.

Tomorrow is what I'm much anxious about. I'm meeting more of Kati's uncanny and eagerly waiting family line tomorrow. What's worse is that she is making me eat, and I do not want to. I know, I'm weird - that's already a settled adjustment. The reason being is because I've eaten junk food this entire weekend, and that's not typically how I go about doing things. I usually eat my cheat meal one a week.

No, I am not on a diet - I just prefer living healthy. You can understand the toll this creates on my self conscious issue. All I see is fatness, even if it's not there. I guess when weighing 300 pounds a long time ago and losing 160 of it - regardless of how I look now, or even perceive myself; I still have a permanent mark that cuts to my core saying, "You're still fat." This is one demon that haunts me consistently and always will.

An amazing feature about Kati is that she pays attention and listens carefully. Last week during our trip to Bamboo Garden, I was telling her how I had this riveting crave for cake. I still have it because I didn't get my "fix." I sound like a drug-addict. Yes, it's been a week long endeavor. After she left my house earlier this evening, she called me and told me she just went to the store and bought cake mix. Nearly thirty minutes ago she told me it is baked and ready to go. I'm incredibly excited about this.

This is all I have to say. Except the fact that I am meeting more new family, and it's nerve-wrecking. This is what happens when you get into a committed relationship. I'm not entirely positive if this is a good thing or not [rhetorical and sarcasm]. Tomorrow shall be interesting, and it's all focused on my A-Game. It will be brought and it will be sold. Everyone then will be able to call me Victor, Thee.

You would think with the weather (here in Missouri), being 75 degrees, it would be mildly hot enough to relax your feet in river water. False! Warning: Do not ever attempt this. You will instantly receive frostbite. Nonetheless, this weather is wonderful.

This is no exaggeration: today is the best day of my life, and nothing special entirely happened. That is the beauty of it. In life, we are very unappreciative of our surroundings - we take for granted the small significant things that life has to offer. From the beauty of the colorful skies, people in our lives, platonic desires - the credo of honesty and trust.

Most likely or not, many of us have set beliefs in life - whether you're a Christian, atheist, humanist, etc., but when do we, myself included, really set out to live potentially and fully to our beliefs? Hardly. Take for example the average Christian. They will attend church occasionally; not as much as they should - won't read their Bible as often - pray to our Heavenly Father - or even evangelize their born-again hearts toward another human being. Most of us don't necessarily have something in which we can positively say, "This is what I want in my life, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to achieve it or keep it intact. My life is going to solely be devoted in this arena."

Anyway, that's for a different blog.

Back to today. I'm not sure why it was outstanding. One reason which I perceive it as the best - and if it wasn't the best, it's surely runner up and the number one contender; was due to keeping busy. I woke up around 7 A.M. and went on my daily run: three miles. It felt exhilarating and relaxing at the same time. Afterwards, I turned in a lot of job applications and went to get more at various places, feeling confident and looking good. Kati then called and told me she was sick today, so I willingly went to the store and bought her a two-liter of Sprite, going out of my way in order to take care of her. I once heard, "Happiness is only real when shared." I concur with that wonderful revolutionary statement.

A lot of people would say to me, "You are whipped." Truthfully, that's not it at all - it's called love, and when a person loves another human being, they want to genuinely see that other person content in their well-being, satisfied, never upset, and a smile blossoming for an everlasting time. As a man, yes, you heard me properly, "man"; I'm going to provide for my wife [I call her wife because she pretty much is]. That is my job: love my wife as Jesus Christ loved the church.

Nonetheless, we stayed at her house for a short time, rested on the couch and watched television. She was beginning to feel better, and we decided to go to my house and hang out for a little while before she attended her college class. We watched some of season one of Dexter. I've already seen all seasons that have recently been out, but she hasn't - and I feel successful for finally getting her into this show. She kept making fun of it, but by the time her class came rolling around, she was begging to stay to finish the episode. This has now become our show.

While she was in her unlawful class, I decided to cook supper and pass the time before she came back over. It is safe to say, I'm a pretty fine chef. Thank you, Martha Stewart. Just kidding. We watched even more of Dexter, cuddled on my [our] bed and took a nap [and other things] while it was pouring down rain. This was a Kodak moment that made me feel ... alive. Not because this or that happened, but because I realized suddenly: this is the woman I want to spend the rest, and every day of my life with. Love does cast out all fears. As selfish and stubborn as this may sound [not my intentions], I have found someone more important to worry about than myself.

For that, I am privileged.

I hope that each person that reads this will begin to understand, life does have a call for you. It doesn't matter if that call is to be a plumber, construction worker, or even a billionaire. Embrace the call. Thoroughly respect it - and positively become better at it - because things in life are important; even meaningful. Find it and hold on to it because it is one of the greatest assets in life. And frankly, too many of us do find it, but we are too unappreciative for its providence that we're creating for others. Once again, "Happiness is only real when shared." You can share your call in life with anything - personal or materialistic, but never hold it accountable to yourself: everyone needs it.

Warning: This blog will be quite lofty, and it will also feature my beliefs relating to God and Jesus Christ. That being said, many may disagree with a lot of my statements - but that is where the idea of "my" blog comes into play.

I have never been a keen advocate on how to start a beginning sentence that dazzles the eye of the reader. Nor have I been fluent enough to explain rationally the meaning behind the message of the title (I hope the title can explain itself). Therefore, let me go ahead and delve into this ... please feel free to let your heart make its own decision.

A Mind of Civilization - Freedom of Self.

Growing up as a young adolescent, I was never much of a person who enjoyed the idealism of travel - always uttering the words "Are we there yet?" when taking long tedious trips. As I grew older I started to appreciate the enthusiasm of "getting away from the house." Watching movies or visualizing paintings - I began to see the genuine aspect of nature; the colorful aroma of majesty.

Here I am today, inept to society. Not because I am lazy or unwilling, but because it's not sanitary to the confines of our heritage. Personally, I wholeheartedly believe that we need to go back to the start: into the vastness and openness of the wilderness; where Adam and Eve had communion with God - where God walked and talked with Adam and Eve - where worldly temptations were nearly of complete tame.

Out of all the beautiful stories of the world/Bible, Genesis 1 amuses me enticingly. It makes me realize how much we've forgotten our birth - our cultural climax. That is where I want to escape to - no longer infatuated and infected by mindless government sects - uncivilized and immoral human beings; careless and heartless heathens.

Living here - away from the genuine openness, my eyes gaze relentlessly on this uninvolved world, with little to no passion and care - only worried about their own selfishness nature and want[s]. People, frankly, are entirely too callous. I wish we [as working humans] were more charismatic and enthusiastic toward helping other's as we are with going to parties and celebrating with friends over a job promotion that leads to an extra raise in unfortunate money [hunger]; as if that's more important than the means of reality.

It infuriates me beyond living measure that people do not take life far more seriously than it should. The wrong thing about our current generation of imbeciles is the sheer fact that we are too care-free; too worldly advocated and technologically advanced [craving every new materialistic phone or computer or gaming console that releases!] that we don't comprehend or notion the pain and poverty of hurting souls. Please don't misunderstand me, these leaps in science have providing us with impeccable medical providences to improve our ill-fated nature, but to say we've improved this world the slightest, morally - we're fooling ourselves incredulously.

Currently, this world is apt to technology rather than truth. In a sense, this creates a lighter and more monotonous acceptance to our underlying holocaust; but the key difference is: we embrace and accept it. Unknowingly, we praise the footnotes of the atheistic regimes of Hitler And the truth of the matter is, there always has to be a molecule of dignity and sanity to decrease the toll of morality. Thus, we idolize fanatical television shows such as "Survivor"; which United State citizens attend a natural locale to win heaps of money, but what people seem to forget is the fact that society is already built upon that location - and those who aren't on the show live there freely and even work for two cents an hour, striving to make ends meet, yet "one lucky winner" gets paid to live there for a month; attempting to "survive", but off camera - if a person on stage was in immediate danger, hospitality and doctors would be an absolute assurance.

We are a degrading and demoralizing generation. Our attention has been primarily pivoted to please an audience and keeping the world blind to its necessary abidings: help. It doesn't help that we're constantly wanting "things, things, things." It makes me sick and weary of this indefinite shams. Once again, please don't get me wrong, there are people out in this world who are making an astonishing difference [for the best] and realize its most needed help us by *us.*

What my main premise of this oral rant is for - is to regard teenager's. To put it blatantly, they are extremely defiled and unwavering [myself included]. God specifically tells us that He made hands to work, yet nobody wants to partake, especially in the means of honoring our mother's and father's. We're too full of mirth over worldliness. Many recognize the sorrowful children who die by starvation every three seconds; storms that rip through towns and cities, destroying the lives of family members and their homes. We're living in clemency instead.

To be honest, most of us do realize the dire need of help - we have that split-second money of compassion, yet never follow through with the hands of miracles. My livelihood dream is to escape, as Chris McCandless calls, "Into the Wild." That is where purity and paucity is intact.

I solemnly believe that we should head back to our ancestors' time - a powerful exile of remembrance, genuineness, spiritual belonging, and the freedom to obligate and embrace God on a deep family oriented bond. There are many reasons on why I perceive this.

Revelation 4:11 says, "Thou are worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power; for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created." Nature is our longest and most affinity. As humans, we have a tendency to only care about the creation of ourselves more than nature, which God breathed into life as well. That's where our history was, is, and still. Ancient battles from Biblical standpoints; Founding Father's; it was fought on land: our expression of freedom. We pass it by everyday without acknowledging it or waving a gratitude and thankful arm to it.

"Love thy neighbor as thyself"; yet we're shackled to suits and ties, congregations and business platforms, plaques and podiums, cars and new means of travel [when we were born to enjoy the greatness of being footloose]. We're too wrapped up to even consider the ample theater of God's masterpiece: wildlife.

Life should be ruled by understanding, not reasoning. For me, I understand that I disprove of this modern era of people - a society that afflicts as much pain as it can release, only for their own greater good. We're a generation of multitasking and independent free-thinkers. Though that could be a good thing, it's also a bad one at that. You see, I've noticed people are all alike. People may or may not read this, but if so, most likely or not the reader won't take it personally to heart. The reader might utter to themselves one of two things: "This guy is full of rancor and has an idiotic perception," or, "This guy is a good writer, he makes a lot of sense." Afterwards, that's that.

No voluntary involvement in connection to other people - nothing. This is mindlessly due to lack of initiative, cultivation, and motivation. We're all too hyped up on the epitome[s] of our lives - instead of focusing on gaining wisdom and knowledge. It's hard for me to have lenity toward people that do not care to educate themselves; it's baffling to me.

I know it may seem as if I'm "all over the place" with this piece of material. I'm either talking about how I want to escape and be apart of nature or all of a sudden changing to our disposing generation, but rest assured, if it wasn't for the people, I wouldn't want to escape aimlessly into the wild - so it both goes hand it hand.

I'm also tired of possessions that take up too much of our time; money that strangles us to live in containment; people who are immune and unable to understand where true freedom lies. "What is real is the that the fact we're still animals; driven by primal instincts." We are animals, and this animal [me] wants to be apart of the freight-train of origination pellucid.

Everett Ruess once said, "As to when I shall visit civilization, it will not be soon, I think. I have not tired of the wilderness; rather I enjoy its beauty and the vagrant life I lead, more keenly all the time. I prefer the saddle to the streetcar and star-sprinkled sky to a roof, the obscure and difficult trail, leading into the unknown, to any paved highway, and the deep peace of the wild to the discontent bred by cities. Do you blame me then for staying here, where I feel that I belond and am one with the world around me? It is true that I miss intelligent companionship, but there are so few with whom I can share the things that mean so much to me that I have learned to contain myself. It is enough that I am surrounded with beauty ... Even from your scant description, I know that I could not bear the routine and humdrum of the life that you are forced to lead. I don't think I could ever settle down. I have known too much of the depths of life already, and I would prefer anything to an anticlimax."

I cannot help but to relate to young Everett Ruess, who died at the distraught age of twenty, but he hit the nail on the coffin. As personal individuals, it is our privilege to search for much ambiguous exhortation; a man's heart reflects the man, and our solemn and subjective desires that feed our soul, the flourishing of our spiritual revelation, is vicariously achieved by finding ourselves by the most fatal conditions of risking ourselves.

We must put ourselves in ultimate authority of mutilation; performing an aesthetic and glorious extreme of mindful matter; outwitting the undertaker from its core; to get rid of possessions; to let go of our cautious keys to money; to live purely on instinct with the bare minimum of our own two hands. To do this, we must journey alone with a mediocre defiance - away from society. Speaking of, there aren't any fascinations that are the protagonist of appeal. As Everett already mentioned, it's a rare occasion to find a soul that will venture off into a discussion about [my] interests pertaining life; important stuff - especially for an age of my one [and teenagers are all about the zest and glee]. Therefore, it's a duty for me not only to verbally introduce my thoughts, but to become an extremist.

Sometimes, it feels as if I've been born into the wrong century by accidental mishaps. I find it a shame that nobody cares to breach uncharted territories; platonic has dried up on the calm - and it's all about management; the safer road of travel. The only question that can come to mind most days is, "Where is people's spirit of adventure!" Being apart of a superficial masquerade that brings me no mirth - not a single ounce of contentment, even while writing this essay in a bedroom confined by four even-sized walls, I feel claustrophobic by defiled wolves of demeaning families - slavery of self-rights; socialism at its core and communism at its best; in a liberal fashion with politicians that have mouths of iniquities, this is something that cannot be a bygone in my life.

Money, in lament terms, creates a false sense of security of reiteration; a price tag on freedom, obligation, and a stumbling block before naturalization. This obsessive distortion of greed - it's one of the most humiliating acts of caging, especially the cliche saying, "It takes money. Without money you cannot do anything; can't make a living." The possibilities to life are endless once money is protested out of a brainwashed life.

The arrogance that money provides destroys our fulfillment in what nature has brought us: the birds signing hymns full of beautiful harmonies, and the crickets chirping a blessed lullaby. What I mean by this is, money can pay the way for a yacht, but you won't get the satisfaction you would from genuineness.

To simply put: I want away from it all. Media; society; rivalry complications; conquests made by man. "I think careers are a 20th century invention and I don't want one." Instead, give me a life of unspoken narrative: lost in the wilderness. My requiem lies outside of this ambivalent society; and if I die young, let this striking truth be self evident, my pursuit of happiness did not go down in vanity nor pride - for life is a waste yet privilege; life is a snapshot and vapor; it cannot be earned, but it can be bought; and if I don't get out and investigate it before the chills undergo its procedure, then if regrets follow me to the grave, let it be eternal.

I wrote a long essay about the mind of civilization - society in general. If I posted it as a blog [it's real long], would anyone actually read it? I know, it may not be your cup of tea, but it is an important paper to me, and I'd really love to share it if it obtains an audience. Let me know, and thank you!

Over the weekend, I popped the big question. That's why I have been absent the past few days. Of course, by the title of this blog, she said yes.

Late Saturday evening, Kati and I decided to head out to eat at a wonderful Chinese sit-down restaurant; all you can eat buffet, Bamboo Garden. As the waitress was sitting us at our dining table, this older couple next to us pointed his finger demandingly at me - wanting me to abide over at his booth. At first I was baffled because I thought he was pointing his finger toward the waitress in order to get her attention; attempting to wave her by. Instead, he said to me, "Yes, I'm pointing to you. I need to speak to you for a second."

Afterwards, he asked the most intriguing question that would confuse any young newlywed. "Do you and your wife have any plans tonight?" I was bewildered at first for two reasons. One: He was an older gentleman with his wife. Secondly: He had a mustache. Rationally, my first instinct was to assume, "These people must be swingers!" Nonetheless, I said seductively, "No, but if you have anything in mind, please let me know - me and my wife are down for any activity you have in mind," and winked at him without hesitation.

I'm only yanking your chain - I did not say that. However, I did say no. As we continued to converse, his wife interrupted and told me that they both recently won a few tickets to attend the local races for free, and they were unable to partake in this adventure. Therefore, they asked me if I'd like to take my wife. I said "Sure, why not." I had never been to the races before, so they handed me tickets without remorse.

We ended up not going because we had Karli during the meantime, but it was an interesting blessing regardless. It's kind of perplexing, but people seem to react generously toward me and Kati [and Karli]. Randomly, people will consistently tell us that we're a cute couple - or we act as if we're already married. Frankly, people treat us with more dignity and respect because we're a young yet mature countenance who love each other promisingly.

Soon after, we decided to take Karli to have some fun at the park; to wear herself out so she could go to bed early. That was a failure, but we all had a great time. The ice-cream truck-driver drove by, pulled up to the park and yelled, "Free popsicles!" It would have been irrational to decline such a juicy delight; of course we delved into this providence.

Evidently, I look fabulous in pink [I did not mean for that sentence to sound like a gay man's voice.] Kati, therefore, will be buying me a pink polo t-shirt, because I flat out refused to spend my own money on a pink t-shirt; I just won't bargain for it.

Overall, it was a wonderful weekend. I was showered with great blessings that have most definitely benefited my life. By the way, I am only joking about the marriage proposal. We aren't getting married ... yet. One day it will happen, though. I hope I didn't get anyone's hopes up. If so, oh well - it was humorous.

Thank you all, who continue to support and read my writing. Expressing myself via words is one of my only forte's, and when I do not receive comments on my blogs, I feel unworthy as a writer - but I'm not a very good one in retrospect.

Today is more or less a free-day. This is the first day that I haven't seen Kati [until later this evening]. Therefore, time is an asset that I must take advantage of. I decided to play more of Darksiders and continue to progress through this sleeper-hit-gem. To be honest, this game is becoming ... exhilarating. I just now defeated the lackluster boss: The Stygian.

Spoilers!

This giant worm slithers its way underneath the ashes and emerges frantically to charge at you - all you have to do is be mounted on your horse, Ruin and use Mercy [your gun] and unleash bullets to the opening of its mouth. On some occasions, The Stygian will make its way to the middle of the field and raise out of the ground; let out a pivotal scream that summons young baby Ash Titans. It's the same repetitive process: run around - shoot and kill the offspring. Over a period of repetition, you'll defeat the boss gruesomely and aesthetically.

End spoilers!

While I was facing The Stygian, I felt nostalgia overwhelm my persona, and now I'm in the mood to watch "Tremors." Anyway, in my opinion this game is hectic - in the sense that it's too long. Though it's a fantastic game with a lot of exploration and collectibles - puzzle solving and keen adventure with battles along the way, it feels too bulky and dragged on. It's hard to remain in-touch and compelled to the story. The only thing that makes the narrative worthwhile is War's voice, which is purely awesome. I'm hoping to finish the rest of the game in the next two days - depends on how busy I become.

My next game purchase most likely will be BioShock. I've played and have beaten this masterpiece before, but I don't necessarily remember the essence of the story - nor the plot and antagonist of Andrew Ryan. [It's hard for me to remember story-lines in video-games.]

Well, that's it for this blog. It is now nap-time. I feel like a child. I'll leave with an interesting quote by Toba Beta. "Today, there are problems that could only be solved by people which are still to be born later. This is one of many ways how God replies to mankind's questions and prayers."

This is a true statement: kids wear a person out - and fast. This comes by even from simplistic things, such as heading to the park or fixing food. I understand now how much fatigue can be put on parent's, and I am now looking at my own parents' with a different perspective and recognition of respect and I'm eternally grateful.

Once again, today was another wondrous day - blissful to say the least. While I was asleep, Kati dropped Karli off at daycare for a few hours. In the meantime, we had to head to Wal-Mart and pick out various items for one of her friends' baby shower tomorrow. Kati wanted me to go, but I was a man and put my foot down and said, "I'm not going unless there is cake." The ruling is final: I'm not attending. Afterwards, we went back to her home and watched television for nearly thirty minutes before we picked up Karli from school.

There are two problems when in the car with Kati. Number one: She's not a good driver. She needs to take out a pen and pad, and take notes on my driving skills. Yes, I pretend conceited - and that's because I'm a substantial driver. You all can take that to the bank. And number two: She listens to country music. Unfortunately, she has perplexed my mind because I'm slowly but surely growing an interest in this disease-filled genre. It may be due to the lyrics of most of the songs - it reminds me of Kati, but I'm currently unsure. I never thought this day would occur. Hell must have frozen over, and frogs must have grown wings.

Kati tried surprising me with an unexpected event with Karli: a play-date with one of her old pastime friends from high-school. I rejected the idea immediately, and thankfully God works in mysterious ways, because soon after her friend called her and said that her daughter was sick, so the "date" was cancelled. I was ecstatic about that and am now "Jerk of the Year." I'm okay with that.

We decided to head home for a tad bit and watch Karli's favorite television shows: Barney and Yo Gabba Gabba. I do not recommend any of these brainwashing shows. They will suck you in and never let you go. I was barely able to escape, but from what I've been told - the pain is unbearable. It was adorable, though; we were all sitting on the couch - I had the corner, Kati was leaning up against me while my arms were around her, and Karli was jumping up and down relentlessly on the couch.

After the show[s], we allotted in one accord to the park. Thankfully, the weather and temperature was absolutely perfect. We had an adventurous spirit - heading down slides and partaking in swings. This was a well spent two hours. Apparently, all kids have this peculiar enigma - in which if you look at them, you instantly become tired. When I'm with Kati and having fun with whatever activity we're dwelling in, I'm wide-eyed. However, once Karli is around, put a fork in me because I am done; on the canvas for the ten count.

It was humorous, though. I was telling Kati about a billboard I recently saw on my way back from dropping my dear friend off to college - speaking of Lupus. Before I continue, unusual things have been happening to Kati's skin, and if you're all unaware, Lupus is a form of skin-disease. Well, I thought it would be funny to tell her about this billboard jokingly. Keep in mind - I'm dealing with a hypochondriac [only kidding, partially]. At the time she didn't think any thing of it, but later that evening we researched some of the symptoms relating to this disease, and she has most of them: excessive fatigue, constant headaches, painful/swollen joints, fevers, abnormal blood clotting, and pain in chest or deep breathing. She is now having a cow, but I still find it funny. It's most likely nothing. I'm not too worried about it; it's not my body [woot]!

Well, that's how my day went. All day with the two best people in my life. I did get to play a little bit more of Darksiders, and it's only getting better with time. It's quite a lengthy experience as well. I will owe a late-fee at Block-Buster, but that's okay. I'm not taking this game back until I beat it, and I'm 3/4's of the way done.

It is now time for sleep; I'm worn out. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend ahead of them! Thank you all for putting up with my boring blog posts about my relationship status. Honestly, it's all I care to blog about currently - and I'm sure you all want something different, and I promise there will be a mixture in the future, relating solely on video-games and/or movies. It's just hard not to write about something that makes you overjoyed and important to you.

Stay classy, San Diego!

Hello, Game-Spotter's.

You all may be disappointed with me in a slight moment, but I can't blog about a certain favor that was introduced to me last night. I know, it's upsetting - yet it's unfortunately meant to be kept private between me and Kati. Yes, she will end up finding out incredulously if I ended up blogging about it. If it wasn't for that, I'd definitely tell all of you! Anyway, I've had an ample amount of things on my heart, and I'm becoming heavy laden and burden holding it in. Therefore, I need to derail a few things concerning my relationship with Kati.

First of all, I love her - that will never deflate; it will only grow more passionately, intimately, and stronger by the second. Nonetheless, although I said that relationships are easy, which they are, they can undoubtedly be stressful. There's a vast difference. As most of you know, Kati is a young mother. Yes, I am with a wonderful mother/girlfriend, but her daughter [two years old] is not my own.

Thus, it creates jealousy in my bones on some occasions; rarely however. It's hard not to be to blatantly inscribe it. Kati has this huge responsibility that I'm not fully apart of, and I want to be; and though people may visualize and perceive that as a good thing, it isn't. The reason is because I personally feel left out of something infinitely important - and since I'm not the father, I can only provide the effort, and the sensation of parenthood; being the father-figure.

It's difficult to contemplate, having the title of "father" when I'm genuinely not. I now understand the comprehensions and idealistic pressures of being a step-brother, sister, father or mother. It's understandable - and it should also be commended and respected when it is planted and grows aesthetically. Now, I cannot be one-hundred percent in both of their lives, Kati and Karli [the daughter]. That is what's fulminating and bothersome on various days, but the trick is, if anyone else is having this particular issue - stick with it!

Ultimately, as the Apostle Paul once stated, this will be my thorn in the flesh. Yet I need to realize that it is better to embrace this aching pain rather than complain. Fortunately, Kati accepts my mood-swings because it shows a sign of care. Instead of being Arnold Schwarzenegger, The Running Man, she decides to remain stable and grow in our relationship.

Secondly and lastly, Kati constantly assumes that I'm going to bored of her, and that is purely falsehood. It is impossible. The truth of the matter is, every time I glance at her I automatically receive butterflies. I find that highly special because most often or not, people's feelings for a person don't necessarily grow over a period of time; it remains inconsistent. I'm thankful that our love for each other is on fire and cannot be washed out.

So that is it - my confession. I am avidly jealous, but in a good perceptual stature. In the end, the best asset to this entire ordeal is the wonderful gift of sharing: being able to tell Kati absolutely anything and everything - and vice versa. Communication truly is the key to have a successful relationship.

Oh my goodness, tonight is going to be good. In one of my previous blog posts, I stated that me and Kati each had 11 favors to give to each other. Well, she actually decided to do me a favor without my asking - which I am getting tonight. Let's just say, I cannot wait until she gets out of class in about two hours.