I guess I'll find out - if there isn't one single blonde joke here you haven't heard before, the rule is, you have to leave one of your own :D In fact, leave one of your own either way!

She was So Blonde:
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She thought General Motors was in the army.
She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign here:" she wrote "Sagittarius."

She Was So Blonde:
She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
She sent a fax with a stamp on it.
Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."

She was So Blonde:
She tripped over a cordless phone.
She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "Concentrate."
She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

She was So Blonde:
She studied for a blood test.
She sold the car for gas money.
When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.
When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left,"she turned around & went home.

She Was So Blonde:
When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she
moved.
She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front."

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:
She is so Blonde:
* She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parents'
nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother!

Jennifer asked her step mom to exchange it, but she refused.
"Absolutely not. I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied.

Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day."
A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress.
When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."

Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding."

My friends say I just like to rip sportscasters, Joe Morgan in particular, but sometimes,they just make it too easy.

I was watching the Braves/Astros 14 inning marathon game onTBS last night. I am typically not a fan of the broadcast team for Atlanta, but they did amuse me last night...although I am sure it was unintentional. Here's the quote:

Chip Caray (of course): "Well, he's walked the lead-off man. As you well know, a lead-off walk usually comes around to score, unless it doesn't.

Duh.

So, now you know my dirty little secret. I'm a baseball fanatic. :D Not just a one-team fan, either, I have many! And I am a huge fan of Hawk and DJ, the home announcers for the Chicago White Sox. Too bad WGN would rather show the Cubs...those two are a hoot!

I heard this joke a while back, but spending some time with my daughter yesterday reminded me of it. (If you don't know, my daughter is a natural blonde in disguise as a redhead...and it's fooling no one!)

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"

She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,

"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"

The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

Golden Retreiver: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me.

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Bulldog: What's a lightbulb? Is it food?

How Many Cats Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?

Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:

"How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"

1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This isn't actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman
can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just
say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's
wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

This test has only one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.

THE SITUATION: You are in Florida, Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.The situation is nearly hopeless.

You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive furor.

THE TEST: Suddenly you see a woman in the water. She is fighting for her life, trying not to be taken downwith the debris.You move closer. Somehow the woman looks familiar.

You suddenly realize who it is.It's Hillary Clinton!At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take her under forever. You have two options:

You can save the life of Hillary Clinton or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful women (in her mind, at least).

THE QUESTION: Here's the question, and please give an honest answer...

Would you select high-contrast color film, or would you go with the elegant simplicity of black and white?

I'll tell first:

I became hooked on Charmed re-runs on TNT, and when I started watching the show, it was in the middle of the Cole/Belthazar/Phoebe thing. At the same time, the final season was airing on Sunday nights. A lot had changed in the 4-5 year gap, and I was a bit confused.

I ran a Google search for 'Charmed episode list' or some such, and it led me to this site. By reading the episode recaps, I figured out what was going on with 'Charmed', and have hung around this site ever since. Occasionally, since it frustrated me when a recap was missing for a Charmed episode, I now write recaps to fill in those blanks whenever I can. And then came Army Wives, and Burn Notice, and Saving Grace...

So, how did YOU get here?

THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS...

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at
him.
She says hello.

He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.

So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you're
the
father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful
to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor
party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching
while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly,

"No, I'm your son's teacher

SENIOR DATING

Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking.

Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."

Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a luxury car... a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for dinner... a marvelous dinner... lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a show. Let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me two times!"

Dorothy: "Goodness gracious!... so you are telling me I shouldn't go out with him?"

Edna: "No, no, no... I'm just saying, wear an old dress."