very cool, nicely paced, overall well-written. didn't even drag once. short and sweet. i like dialogue-heavy sequences, and this was no different.

i'd like some more character development/description for Dawn in the next portion though :) 

"And he needed a way out of it. "

More dramatic without that, I'd think. Kind of obvious anyway.

"He had often discussed death with Jane. Jane had been obsessed with death."

You could smooth that over like "He had often discussed death with Jane; she was obsessed, it seemed." And all that questioning is a bit much. You could smooth over that entire paragraph by losing some of those verb and combining sentences.

"...a) the consequences of their actions, or b) a situation within their life that is currently very hard to accept for them..."

the a and b can be removed without any loss. They distract.

"John would have found it hilariously funny in retrospect if it weren't for the fact that his girlfriend had slit her own throat in her parent's basement the day afterwards."

That is a really disturbing sentence. Is that intentional?

I find it really weird that Sarah's so willing to go at it with a dude whose girlfriend just committed suicide. Even if they're drunk. Just saying.

Ah, read a bit more. Never mind.

Read to the end. Huh? (I'm sure that's the point, but...)

I liked it! Fix up the above things and I'd like it even more! The premise is interesting, and the pace is pretty good.

Aberinkulas

haha. taken into account :)

just made my first huge edit. hurrah for pronouns. i also spiced up a few of the duller parts. i can't really change the fundamental "THIS HAPPENED AND THEN THIS AND THEN THIS AND NOW HERE'S THE PRESENT DAY" structure, though, without completely altering the story.

i think i'm substantially more proud of it now, though, after a fairly thorough editing/adding bits and pieces process. i'd really appreciate more feedback though :) 

now you mention it, that IS a hugely repetitious problem. lol.

oh well. it was basically just a warm-up to get me back into the swing of things, so i'm glad you got at least some enjoyment out of it.