...I guess nothing's really going my way lately... the friend I mentioned in my last blog, who's transferring out of my school next year, she's been through a lot of bad stuff, some that I don't know about, and, while I'm not sure what the reason (s) behind this is, she wants to erase her memory.

She says there are just some things she doesn't want to remember and she's having her friends write down everything that connects them with her so she'll have that to go by... The procedure's not definite, but she's really considering it. And we've been good friends for so long... I don't want her to do this.

I don't want her to forget me and all that we've been through, the thought of her not remembering anything is making tears well up in my eyes... She's such a good person and has helped me through so much, I really don't want everything we had to be erased and taken away from her...

I know it's not really my position to tell her what and what not to do, but if there's something I can do to dtop her from thinking about doing this, I will. I really just couldn't keep this inside any longer, because I hate making private parts of my life public like this, and that's all I've been doing lately.

I don't really mind if you comment on this, though I know most of you won't really know what to say. I mean, what is there to say about this? It's her decision, so I can only hope that she doesn't go through with it or she doesn't erase the part with our friendship and all the wonderful memories between us.

I not going to be on much, only for the week, I've got to clear my head of jumbled thoughts and feelings and I've got projects to do for school to, hopefully, take my mind off of all this...

I'm at a complete loss, and I have no idea how I'm supposed to handle it...

Hey everyone! Boy, do I have a lot to say, but I promise to make each bit as short as I can, though I can't garuntee it! :P

So, I'll shuffle from good news to bad news, sooo...

GOOD NEWS:

- I didn't see my ex-boyfriend in school today, which made my manic Monday a little bit better. Not that I wanted to avoid him, I just didn't want to deal with any potential drama today. :roll:

BAD NEWS:

-THE PATS LOST! NOOOOO! :cry: I've never been into sports too much, but living in a town that's dedicated to the Pats and being caught up in all the hype AND seeing the 6-point touchdown made by the Giants in the last fews minutes of the last quarter AND knowing that we'd never have the 19-0 streak, well, I couldn't help but be a bit upset...

GOOD NEWS:

I'm a Regal Beagle! Yeah, that's right, I'm LEVEL 13!!! Which is weird, considering I was a level 12 at 68 percent yesterday, but I heard that changing your icon over and over made you level up faster... I guess that's true! I'll be at level 14 really soon! :D

BAD NEWS:

My best friend at my school is transferring out next year to a charter school 45 minutes away from the school! :( I'm so upset, but on the up-side, she's not moving, so we'll still be in constant contact and she promised to hang out with me every weekend (if possible)! So, all and all, I'm just bummed out that I won't see her everyday...

GOOD NEWS:

Another TV.com update: I now have more than 100 friends! I'm so happy that I have all the friends I do, and am so grateful :) Keeping up with everybody's blogs is going to be a bit of a problem now... Thanks to anyone who tracked me/ tracked me back! ^_^

BAD NEWS:

It's been almost a month since my computer broke down and I still don't have ITunes yet! I don't have a 'disc' to install it like everyone keeps saying, and I only have 200 songs, and they're all getting kinda boring...

GOOD NEWS:

One of my really good friends from California is going to college in New York next year and we'll be able to see each other by the end of this year! Last time we saw each other was last summer, and I really miss him, plus by this summer I'll be able to drive to NY if I wanted to. I can't wait to see him, he always makes me smile ^_^

BAD NEWS:

This is really serious news, my good friend's boyfriend, Justin's mother passed away in her sleep over the weekend after she lost a long fight with cancer. Apparently, the death was expected, but it's still a sad time for him and his family nonetheless. I only wish you all to keep them in your hearts and prayers during this hard time.

Thanks everyone, so sorry for the longness... See ya later!

^_^

Alright, well, after taking some time to think about it, I don't hate him, I can't, I'm not the kind of person to hate someone for more than a day (unfortunately...) but I know that I can never be friends with him again after all of this. Oddly enough, the next day, after my friends at school yelled at him and gave him a piece of their minds (I love my friends :D ), he took off what he wrote about me with my name for everyone to see on myspace, and wrote this whole huge apology using my name for everyone to see on myspace.

Since it's wicked long, I won't copy-paste it. In sum, he talks about feeling so bad that he wants to jump in front of a car (a bit melodramatic, then again, this whole thing was), and apologizes over and over. There were some really weird parts to his apology, like, "only after her friends made my life hell all day at school did I realize what a big mistake i made". ...After my friends told him??? What about me? He really had to wait until my friends said something to realize it was wrong?

And, of course, the part when he blames my friend, Jared, who told me about what my ex first wrote, for showing me in the first place, "To the person who showed Tory or told her about what I wrote, you should be ashamed of yourself. because you caused her just as much pain as I did." ... Is it a bit weird that he wrote that? Honestly, I would've wanted to know and take the pain more than not know and go on unaware that he was writing such horrible things about me. Besides, my friend didn't write it, in fact, I'm more than grateful that he showed it to me... so why should he be ashamed?

All and all, I think it's much better that we go our separate ways, and not be friends. It's for the best, besides, I definitely don't want to go through all of this again.

I really have to thank all of you on this site. Your words made me so happy (some made me laugh :lol: ), you have no idea how much your kind words, or you allyourselves, mean to me. Ican't thank you enough forbeing there for me... oh, and all the hugs!

THANKS, YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Hugs you all tight* :oops:

Sorry, this is so long, I'll be posting again today, hopefully a shorter blog. Thanks for reading!

^_^

Never have I felt this way about anyone like I have towards him. My now ex-boyfriend wrote this in his myspace page (WARNING, AND SOMETHING I'D NEVER DO. THIS HAS MANY EXPLICITS, ALL TOWARD ME...): (highlight it)

what's a guy to do? i thought my girlfriend was special, and really liked me. wow. i got played bad. she didn't like me just strung me along... made me feel like i was needed and guess what i chose her over a friend of mine that would've had me in an instant. i don't f*cking believe this. its really funny cuz tory now that you've dumped me, i'm getting all the real story from your friends. hahaha want to be friends? tough sh*t! stop being a two face! all i'd like is someone i can hold close and feel safe who actually likes me for me like anyone would. i just want to feel miserable and just see them and my day brightens up automaticly. no one to make fun behind my back, no one to string me along, and definately not a f*cking lier. i just want to feel warm on the coldest day happy in the aftermath of a great upset, and truely in love... where can i find a feeling like that from someone?

I'm crying, yet again, because I never ever wanted any of this to happen. It wasn't suppose to be this way, and none of this is true, which is the worst part. As SOON as I realized that he would be just a friend to me, I broke up with him the very next day. I called to apologize for hurting him, I talked to him, EVERYTHING I could think of doing to make amends, I did. And still this happens. I'm hurt so bad I'm crying and I'm so mad that I'm shaking.

All I want to do is move on from all this not-needed drama, and he's still stuck on it, acting like a jerk towards me.I've apologized more times than I can remember, I've even cried about it, and for his sake, and he's done nothing but ignore me, acting like I don't exsist.

I hope that all of this drama doesn't continue on tomorrow, but I have a strong feeling that that won't be so.

*sigh* I just really need to get over this, or a hug from a friend. NO boyfriends for me for a long while.... the first time I've had to be the one to break up with someone and look where it's gotten me...

Ok so I just read some very distressing news in Mathwizard09's blog and from what I know, Sweet_Jane gota TOS, yes her! of all people! and it was some stupid reason about not liking some pictures that she put up in her blog. Well, this news caused her to throw up blood, which, apparently, is a symptom of cancer that can be easily triggered by bad scares, and seeing the TOS freaked her out so much that she ended up in the hospital! Poor thing :(

I feel so bad that this has happened to such a sweet person like her, and all because the Mods didn't like her pictures! So, now more than ever, I want 2 things:

1- Please, this is obivously another step too far with the Mods, and further proof that they're out of control, so I'm urging you to, if you haven't already, sign the petiton:

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/tvdotcomtragedy

and, more importantly, 2- Please keep Jane in your prayers, and, if you don't pray, at least think of her and wish her a speedy recovery ^_^

Thank you!

Hey, my_shikamaru... how the HECK do you NOT have one of those stupid glitched-up housewives icons??? You're very lucky, and I'm very envious... I HATE THAT SHOW! *sigh* lucky lucky, you're so lucky... :P

Oh, the 'and more...' part? I'm still looking for a new icon ( :lol: ) and I might be an editor for a show! :D

That's all for now, see you all soon! *hugs*

^_^

Wow, I've got so much to talk about! Hopefully, I can make things as short as possible, starting with...

OMG HEATH LEDGER DIED!!!

That was a bummer, and he was going to play the Joker in the next Batman movie... I hope they find out why he died soon, he doesn't seem like one to overdose... oh, and apparently, people saw him last aliveat noon and he died a 3:30 PM... weird... :?

So, I'm sorry for my depressing blog last week, things haven't gotten much better, he's mad at me, but says to give a few days and he'll be over it, which is what I'm hoping happens but I seriously doubt it.

I'm finally getting a new icon! I love chibi's, but I feel it's time for a new icon of absolute sugar-endused randomness! I don't know what I'm getting yet, but you'll see it soon :D

Has anyone ever read the book 'Twilight'? This book is really good, the best I've read in a while, though I'm only on the 7th chapter (there's 24!) I recommend it to those who love romance, the supernatural and Vampires!

Oh, and don't think I've forgotten about the petition. I'm still very hopeful, so heeeeere it is!

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/tvdotcomtragedy

Sign if you haven't already! Arigato!

Let me put this up right now: MISSING- Firefox LAST SEEN- Jan. 8, 2008 ...seriously, where is he???

So I guess there's a survey going around, apparently a getting-to-know-you survey, and I figure, I might as well get in on this too. You can skip over it if you want, though ^_^ :

_____________________________________________________________________

1. Name: Tory

2. Area of country where you where born? East Coast

3. Birthday? January 9th, 1992

4. Part of song lyric that was last in your mind? 'There is love, burning to find you, will you wait for me?'

5. Describe where you are right now. Home

6. The highlight of this week? Getting tickets toa concert! :D

7. Who was the last person you went out to eat with? The family

8. What are you scared of? Spiders *shudders*

9. Last movie you watched? Cloverfield... DON'T go see it, it's not worth it... :x

10. What is the last thing you downloaded into your computer? ...everything, because my computer broke down!

11. How many houses have you lived in? Just one

12. Last friend you talked to online? Actually, I'm talking to my friend Jared right now ^_^

13. Has anyone said you looked like a celebrity? nope

14. Do you speak any other language besides than English? French (2nd year) and I'm hoping to llearn Japanese too

15. Do you have a job besides going to school? I'm applying for one, so... no :lol:

16. Do you plan to go to college or been to college? I plan on it

17. For or against same sex marriage? For. Everyone deserves to be happy with the one they love

18. Should gays be allowed to adopt? I guess...

19. What is your view on the war in Iraq? I'm really really against it

20. If you could live in any other place, where and why? Italy, it's just so beautiful there Or Japan, for reasons of the Animation persuasion :D

21. What animal best represents you and why? ...A cat because I like to sleep a lot...? :? hahaha, I don't know!

22. If you could meet anyone, who would it be and why? My friends I met over the summer from California, because E-mails and IMs aren't enough... :cry:

23. If you could go back in time and live in any century, which would it be and why? ...I have no idea, and because my mind is drawing a blank right now... :roll:

24. If you could have any superpower, what would it be? To fly

25. What would your life's theme song be? Oh, I wouldn't have just one, I'd have hundreds for whtaever mood I was in! :lol:

26. If you became president, what would you do first? reduse taxes

27. What is you most heartbreaking memory so far? break-ups, deaths, too many things... :(

28. What is your greatest accomplishment? Being accepted to go to Europe last summer

_________Are You?_________________

29.A hugger or a hand-shaker? hugger *hugs you all* :oops:

30. Morning or night-time person? nighttime

31. Are you a perfectionist? not by any standard!

32. What is your religious belief? ...moving on...

33. Left or right handed? righty

__________Favorite________________

34. Number? 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42 :lol:

35. Color? blue

36. Season? Spring

37. Holiday? Christmas

38. TV program? At the moment, Naruto, Death Note, Blood+ and Project Runway, and I'm eagerly awaiting Lost!

39. Movie? Zoolander

40. Band? too many to list!

41. Songs? At the moment, My Curse by Killswitch Engage

42. Actor? none

43. Restaurant? New Tokyo

44. Food? ...the kind you eat...?

45. Pizza topping? cheese

46. Ice-Cream flavor? vanilla

47. Board game? CANDY LAND! :lol:

_____Other Questions____________

48. Helped a stranger in need? yes

49. Lied to your dearest friend? unfortunately, yes

50. Cheated on a test? ...yes...

51. Turned someone in when they did something wrong? not that I remember...

52. Stole something from a store? no

53. Drank alcohol? yeah

54. Smoke (either one)? never

55. Ran away from home? no

56. Been pick up by the police? yes, but only to be taken home with my mom after a car crash

57. What annoys you most in a person? anything that reminds me of my little brother :|

58. What is you bedtime? RIGHT NOW! OH NO! :lol: I don't think I have one, actually...

59. Name three things you can't live without? Music, friends, internet :)

60. Would you take a bullet for someone you love? without a second thought

61. How do you want to die? when I'm a lot older than I am now, and without pain

_____Do You Believe In_________

62. God? who's to know?

63. Miracles? kind of

64. Love at First sight? yeah, though it hasn't happened to me yet

65. Ghost? yes

66. Aliens? we can't be the only life in the universe, right? ;)

67. Heaven? of course

68. Hell? no

69. Angels? yes

70. Kissing on the first date? no

71.Horoscope? the stars say... no

72. Fate? yes

______________________________________________________________

THANKS FOR READING!

^_^

I'm so upset, I'm crying, I'm numb, and I said 'I think we should be just friends'.

I don't usually make my personal life public like this, but I can't keep how I feel inside me any longer. I have/had a boyfriend since November, he's such a great guy, and I just wrote a note on Myspace breaking up with him. I feel like crap, because I've always been the one broken up with, not the other way around. And I just HAD to break up with him online. I so badly wanted to tell him in person, but the longest we ever see each other is 20 miuntesbefore 1st period, and I didn't want to tell him first thing in the morning because then, we'd both be upset all day.

I can't believe I did this, I feel so bad, andI know I had to do this, because the most I felt for him was as a friend, and I didn't want to mislead him or drag this out any longer, but that still doesn't dismiss how bad I feel for doing this. I' m the one who broke up with him and I'M crying. I've always wanted other people to be happy before myself, and knowing that he was so happy with me made me happy, but deep down, I know how I felt for him didn't match how he felt for me. I feel so extremely bad for doing this, and I really hope he reads it before tomorrow, but, then again, I really don't.

I have no idea what I'm going to do...

Hey everyone! ^_^ I feel super bad for not answering back to your comments from the other blog, since I usually do, I just don't really have much time on the computer these days...

UPDATE: I'm still using my dad's cruddy dial-up office computer, which is better than nothing, but I'm only allowed on for about an hour a day, since he needs it for work. Obviously, it shouldn't take this long to get a new harddrive, my parents are just being extremely lazy! :lol:

So from what I keep reading, a lot of people are either leaving TV.com to go to Gamespot, or they're just leaving all together. I can completely understand everyone's reasons for doing so: Because of the mods, because the site is getting boring, because people are scared of doing anything (spamming,for example) that could get them banned,and/or because everyone's friends keep leaving, whether it be by force or by choice. I just have one request from anyone leaving:

Please, can I have your e-mail address if it's not already posted on your page?

I really don't want to lose contact with any of you, because you all mean so much to me and I'd love to keep in contact with you ^_^

As for me, because of the computer situation and other reasons, I've decided that I WILL stay here, but I will also start hanging out more on Myspace, and Gamespot. My Myspace is on my page *cough cough, to your right* so feel free to chat with me there!

By the way, I'm glad you guys liked most of the AMVs from last blog! :D

So... I guess that's it for now, I'll only be on here for another 50 minutes or so :( still quite a bummer...

*hugs you all* :oops:

Oh, and this blog is dedicated to FakeNinja, who was banned today :cry::cry: I still urge you all to sign the petition, s'il vous plait!

^_^

But not by choice! I went downstairs 10 minutes ago and the harddrive of my computer starting smoking! Now the whole thing's fried :cry: I just got DSL for that computer for X-mas and now it's broken... what a drag ( :lol: )

I'm typing this from my dad's dial-up, office computer, so I won't be able to go online for a little while, 'cause obviously, he needs it for work. I'm sorry if I scared anyone with the blog title, I didn't mean to! I'm not leaving the site, not by my own free will anyway. I won't have internet access for about... the whole 3-day vacation! :( This really isn't my day...

Anyways, I'm not going to leave you empty-handed. I have some wonderfully wonderful videos from my personal Youtube favorites on my account, so I will share some of my favorite Naruto and FullMetal Alchemist AMVs with you! ^_^ Here they are:

FullMetal Alchemist:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=yGp2YhJfAzw

(OMG, this one's hellarious!)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=LeSe8y1pz_E

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hbhaADAZHJI

And Naruto:

(My_Shikamaru, you'll love this one!)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=_VZy_rAn3Cc

And the return of Rubix89 as RubixLCU!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=aFK6ALndjmI

And the BEST Naruto vidEVER MADE:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Uw9slNi5Mm8

Enjoy ^_^

IMPORTANT: If anyone has an I-Pod I really need your help! My I-tunes library was on the Harddrive that died, is there a way to put it on another comuter, or can it only be on one specific computer?

*sigh* well, I guess I'll see you all around... I can't promise when I'll be back, unfortunately, but, for the time being, the longest I can stay on the computer is about an hour, and this is my hour...

I'll miss you all so much! *hugs* :oops:

Oh, and please sign the petition if you haven't already (the link is a couple of blogs down) Thanks!

^_^

Hey, I just stopped by before I got some more rest since I still don't really feel that good... I SWEAR that the mods here have gotten to Youtube, because the best Naruto AMV maker in all of Youtube, Rubix89, was SUSPENDED!!!! Oh, I'm so sad, I have about 10 of his vids on my favorites and now they all say 'video unavailable'... it's all really depressing... :(

Anyways, I'll hopefully be well enough to stay awake and eat a bit more tomorrow, so until then

*hugs you all* ^_^

I'll be in mourning...

RIP

THE BEST NARUTO AMV MAKER EVER...

RUBIX89

PLEASE make a new account with all the vids!!! :cry: