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tuckgraph Blog

Give the Gift of House...

Here's hoping the planet is treating everyone well this Holiday Season! I didn't know what to get everyone this year, so I decided to "wing it." I'm on a bit of a budget, so I invested in a sheet of paper and some pencil lead! I'm giving everyone the gift of House! I know it's still a week before Christmas, but I'm working late and I'm bored to tears! That means you get your gift early!

So, from me to you, here's my House Rendering!

houseart.jpg picture by tuckgraph

LOL!

I know it doesn't look like House exactly. Maybe it could be House after getting amnesia, and walking the streets as a homeless man for a few weeks (Season Four Arc). Will House regain his memory? Will he still be a genious? Will TG ever learn to draw? :) Or it could be House's unknown twin (kinda) brother, a serial killer looking to catch up with his bro! (Season Five Arc) Just what Hugh needs, more screen time playing his twin! Either way, stay tuned!

And remember, the more you squint your eyes, the more it looks like House! Oh well, hopefully your other presents will be a bit better! Here's wishing everyone a...

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas!

Hip Hannuka!

Krazy Kwanzaa!

Or whatever festive celebration that floats your boat! I'm out!

:)

TG

Kids on Marriage and Relationships and Stuff

I usually prefer coming up with my own stuff for my blogs. But I got this email from a friend, and I thought it was so sweet and funny, I had to pass it along. Pardon if you've already read it! I'll provide the intro...

Does anyone remember Art Linkletter? He's 95, and still with us! He hosted several shows and wrote many books. He may be best known for a show he hosted called Kids Say the Darndest Things. It was quite simple, he would bring kids out and ask them questions. The way they would answer revealed how kids can have a unique perspective in life, before it becomes spoiled by reality. And sometimes, they would reveal nuggets of wisdom that seemed so obvious, it was hilarious! This email, a series of questions and answers for and from kids, didn't come from that TV show. But it certainly made me think of Art! Without further adieu...

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.
Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
Craig, age 9


WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich.
Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
Ricky, age 10

Hope everyone's having a great weekend!

:)

TG

You Never Make The Shots You Don't Take

I'm trying to remember why I thought of this story, and I can't recall! This is a story from high school.

Shirts vs. Skins

It was freshman year. Our P.E. Coach, Coach Mingo, decided to have a basketball game. Only guys. Shirts versus Skins. That means one team wears their shirts, the other takes them off! The gals just got to watch, cheerlead, whatever. At the time, I weighed around 210 lbs. I was very self conscious about my appearance. I had male boobs anxiety. Of course, I was on the Skins Team. It was excruciating taking my shirt off!

As I was overwhelmed by my flabby chest and belly bouncing up and down the court (it was a full court game), we went down 7-0. The contest was to get to 10 points, one point a basket. Up to that point, no one had said anything about my physical appearance. It was just something in my head. Then someone said something. I can't remember what it was. But it set me off.

Thanks Pops

My dad loved basketball. He had a basketball goal set up in our driveway, and I spent many, many afternoons, mornings and evenings honing my craft. Both by myself and in competition with friends.

Whatever that opponent said during that game, he said it to try to make me feel like a lesser person, to demean me. It had the opposite effect. I scored the next 10 points. Game over.

I tell this story for anyone who doesn't feel up to the task, whatever that task may be. Who knows? You might not be up to the task. You might fail. Probably will. But you must, you must, be willing to give it your best effort. And you've got to find that motivation wherever you can.


Despite conventional wisdom, I believe success is irrelevant. Except, of course, when it comes time to telling stories! :) It is the effort. Make sure you want it, then give it your best shot. And never underestimate the power of emotion!

:)

TG

The 2007 Word of the Year:

Stop the presses. Grab the phone. Spread the Word! Merriam Webster has announced the 2007 Word of the Year (dumb roll, please):

W00t!

I've never heard of this word before. That's probably because I don't play video games. It's an exclamatory term, much like yippee, yea, and its close relative, whoop. As in, "Whoop, there it is!" I used to say that incessantly, just to drive a friend crazy! :)

It's often used when one video gamer bests another one, or they find the golden chalice, or whatever diversionary goal they're attempting to achieve. So it's more often a typed word than a spoken one.

But this W00t word might have more significance than people have given it. Why? Because it is spelt with two zeroes rather than two o's! And we all know what zero signifies, right? Nothing! (reference another friend's blog) So by doubling nothing, we've created something! The W and T doesn't hurt, either. If that's true, this involves not only language, but mathematics and creationism, an occurrence rivaling the Big Bang Theory itself! W00t!

Wait! I do play a video game! Video Poker! Next time my full HOUSE beats somebody's straight, it's W00t'in time!

And In Other News...
Scientists have discovered why pregnant women don't tip over. It's true. "The body must change in dramatic ways to accommodate the baby, and these changes affect a woman's stability and posture," said researcher Katherine Whitcome, an anthropologist at Harvard University. "It turns out that enhanced curvature and reinforcement of the lower spine are key to maintaining normal activities during pregnancy."

What I think they're saying, in a roundabout way, is that women have more spine than men! W00t!

:)

TG

A Few TV.com Observations

I've never read tv.com's terms of service. I'm assuming they have one! But I got to thinking about my own personal conduct on this website, as well as those of others. Here's a few observations.

1. You Have No Right To Be Here
Being a member of the tv.com community is a privilege. You didn't pay for it, and you're lucky to have this forum to express yourself. When I say "you," I'm talking to myself. Nothing personal!

2. This Is A Family Friendly Place
On many different occasions, I've read blogs that had no place on a website like this. Large segments of the tv.com community are kids in their early teens, or perhaps younger. I try to never blog about anything that I wouldn't want anyone to read. And I know I'm not perfect, believe me, so I don't want to sound sanctimonious. But I do try to keep in mind who might be reading this. And that's anyone.

3. We Know So Very Little
There's no guarantee anyone is who they say they are. Unless you've met a tv.com friend in person, they can be anyone they want to be. That may sound sinister on the surface, but it's not meant to be. It's just something to keep in mind. This actually applies to people you "know" in real life as well! Those that have gotten to know phonies know what I'm talking about! I just have to go with my gut, and place my trust with a hint (or heavy dose) of caution.

4. We Are The Product of Our Words
This seems kind of obvious, but worth mentioning. Whether it's in the threads or blogs, you impress your friends. Those impressions don't easily go away. In other words, I try to watch what I say! And sometimes, less is more. Some of the friends I respect a whole lot, they don't blog at all! And that's okay. Actually, it's quite cool. On the other hand, if a friend consistently expresses opinions that I find offensive, I wonder why they're on my Friends List. I'm still working on that one.

5. Nothing Lasts Forever
As much as I love this place, I don't think it should be my focal point in life. Some day, I'll not be blogging here any more. So I try not to cling to it too much. It's not easy! But it is just a keyboard and screen. I try not to let what anyone says get to me on an emotional level. Again, not easy. This is kind of a contradiction, as I often write to evoke emotions from others. But, I try to keep it all in context. And keep it positive!

So that's a few tv.com observations!

:)
TG

The Housey Bunch!

Sometimes you get bored. At least I do. Boredom can be an anchor, or wings, depends on how you deal with it.

bradyhousefin.jpg picture by tuckgraph

Here's the story,
Of a man named Gregory
Who was bringing up
Three very Stupid Idiots

All of them had goals
Why'd they bother?
They're raked over the coals..

Then one day Greg hired new idiots,
And the cycle started once again!

But what about those old idiots?
Life is such a sin!

The Housey Bunch!
The Housey Bunch!

That's the way they became
The Housey Bunch!


I need to go to bed.

:)
TG

RIP Evel Knievel

Robert Knievel, Jr. was born on
October 17, 1938, in Butte, Montana

eveluseit.jpg picture by tuckgraph

He and his older brother Nic were abandoned by their parents, and raised by their paternal grandparents. In Robert, they raised an intelligent, rebellious, unique man. He dropped out of high school, and had many different jobs and brushes with the law. On one such brush, he found himself in a jail cell, adjacent to a cell occupied by William Knofel, better known as "Awful Knofel." He liked the rhyme, and decided to use it. He walked out of his cell as "Evel Knievel." Deliberately misspelt, as he didn't want to be considered evil.

Evel spent many years in numerous thrill seeking endeavors, including ski jumping, pole vaulting and hockey. But he couldn't provide for his family. He recalled the Joie Chitwood daredevil show of his youth, and decided to make his own version, utilizing motorcycles. He was both the master of ceremonies and the main attraction. Evel knew his show had to be different. While others were jumping stunt people and pools of water, Evel started jumping cars. He kept increasing cars. On one night in Missoula, Montana, he couldn't get over twelve vehicles. Broken arm, several broken ribs, and great publicity. He kept going.

Give Unto Caesar...
This is the event that made Evel Knievel a national phenomenon. Evel was doing these gigs, risking his butt, but not getting the payoff deserving of the risk. He saw an opportunity, and bit into it. It's a great story.

Evel was in Las Vegas, Nevada to watch a boxing match. While there, he noticed the fountains of Caesars Palace, cascading in front of the property. He thought, "I can jump that." But he knew he was a daredevil troubadour, without the clout to pull off such a spectacular stunt. He'd have to get permission from Caesars, and get the publicity.

To get permission from Caesars, he created Evel Knievel Enterprises, and had fictitious lawyers call the Caesars CEO. He also called the CEO himself on different occasions, representing ABC TV and Sports Illustrated, showing interest in the event! :)

He got the go ahead from Caesars. Now for the publicity part. He wanted ABC's Wide World of Sports. At the time, Wide World of Sports was THE sports program on Saturday afternoons. This is before cable, when the options were rather sparse. He wanted to do the jump live. He couldn't get a deal. But ABC said if the video was good, they might use it.

Here's the highlight of the video. CAUTION: It's kind of graphic. But he made it! I mean, not the jump, but he lived! Check it out:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=kYGGCVE2lKY

Well he messed himself up good. As a result of the crash, Knievel suffered a crushed pelvis and femur, fractures to his hip, wrist and both ankles and a concussion that kept him in a coma for 29 days.* The up side? He survived. And ABC's Wide World of Sports wound up paying much, much more for the video than they would have for the live broadcast.

After The Fall...
Evel went on to be a legend, an icon. He sold out stadiums, jumping cars and buses. Sometimes he made it, sometimes not. Kind of like life! He became the epitome of indestructible! I personally injured myself trying to propel my bicycle over a haystack! And I had the Evel Knievel action figure. You would put Evel and his motorcycle on a little stand, rev it up with a crank, push a button and lettem' GO! Faster you cranked, more dangerous it was!

And maybe it was the same with Evel himself. There's much more to his story. In his heyday, he wore a white leather jump suit with stars, a cape, and a walking cane, diamond studded and filled with Wild Turkey! Yes, the cane was filled with Wild Turkey!!! He died Friday, November 30, 2007.

There's only one other cane bearing man I respect more.


*This tribute was created from information on Wikipedia. Over the years, he broke over 40 bones, and had many more, incredible stories. If you're interested, I suggest a google.

:)
TG

The New Phonebook's Here!

I'm Only Doing This Blog Because of an Amazing Coincidence

Didn't plan on doing a blog. But, the new phonebooks arrived today. I still wasn't going to do a blog. Doesn't matter how excited I get, I've got a schedule! But then this movie comes on late tonight, the same movie I think of every time the new phonebook arrives. It's called The Jerk. Coincidence? I think not.

smartin.jpg picture by tuckgraph

It's the story of Navin R. Johnson. Born in Mississippi! :) It stars Steve Martin as Bernadette Peters, or something like that. :) Not really. Anyhow, Navin learns as a young man that he's not the offspring of the parents who raised him, which explains the... skin color difference. He leaves home, makes his way from gas station to midway to unintended riches. At one point, the new phonebook arrives. He gets so excited by seeing his name in the phonebook, he almost wees in his pants! My name's not in this year's phonebook, so not to worry.

But as the story goes, Nathan eventually reaches his demise. "This is all I need! This lamp, ashtray, this magazine, the remote control, and this lamp, that's all I need! Except this!... what are you looking at? You think I'm some kind of a jerk or something?"

It's not a perfect movie, but it's pretty damn good. It was directed by Carl Reiner, but seems to have blatant Mel Brooks influences. If you want some good chuckles and Ultimate One-Liners, catch it!

On A More Serious Note...

There's this movie I'd like everyone to see. It came out around 2003, it's called "Off The Map."

offmappicuseit.jpg picture by tuckgraph

This movie is a painting. It stars Joan Allen and Sam Elliot, as a couple raising their family off the grid in Northern New Mexico. It's the early 1970's, and they have an eleven year old daughter. Valentina de Angelis plays the daughter. The story is narrarated by Amy Brennemen, who is the daughter grown up and tells the story as a memory.

Allen is exceptional as a mother holding a family together. Elliot gives a portrait of clinical depression. Like you've never seen him. I'm not going into plot details. It would be like describing a painting. And I'm lazy. But it holds a special place for me because I've lived out in that country before. Could go back there. All the same, it's a great movie. Off The Map. Check it out! But be patient with it... take it from a jerk!

:)

TG

Yes Virginia, There Is A Turducken

A friend of mine suggested I blog about the turducken. I think "must" was the operative word. :) I got to try one of these things on Thanksgiving. It's a loving abuse of the traditional turkey. Perhaps you've heard of it.

Here's the recipe: You take a turkey, and debone it. You take a duck, and debone it. Then you take a hen, and debone it. You stuff each with dressing, perhaps different kinds of dressing for each bird. Then the hen goes inside the duck, and they go inside the turkey. Cook it, covered, for about five hours at 325. Or 350. Follow the directions! Or buy one! :)

This is Cajun Country's answer to Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds! The origins are convoluted. South Louisiana lays claim to it. Chef Paul Prudhomme tries to lay claim to it, but he has no documentation. My favorite story is about a Tulane University Medical Student coming up with it. He (or she) had the surgical skills!

Anyhow, it was delicious. The turkey meat blended with the duck and hen. And with the different dressings and gravy, you didn't know what you were eating at any given time! All Good. I didn't take any pics. But I'm going to show a couple of pics I found on another website. Just somebody else who had a turducken. I'll give some attribution: thanks for the pics dude! :) It's just two pics, one when it arrives in the mail, the other cooked and cut.


turducken-livery.jpg picture by tuckgraph

turducken_cut.jpg picture by tuckgraph

So that's my turducken salute. But I've got to reference just a little more. This is from Wikipedia. The idea of stuffing dead animals into one another for eating is nothing new! And I'm only including this for one purpose. You don't need to read the different combinations. Unless it helps. Just try to pronounce the names, out loud! In front of someone else! :)

Variations

Some enthusiasts have taken it a step further, and come up with the turduckencorpheail. This is a standard turducken, which is then stuffed with a cornish game hen, which is then stuffed with a pheasant, and finally stuffed with a quail.

Still others have pushed the envelope even further with the turgooponducheasanishuail, which includes both a goose and capon, in addition to the component birds of the turduckencorpheail. In recent years, another version called the turgooponducheasnishuaichuffguihagaga has been growing in popularity. It has all the properties of the previous two versions listed, but also includes beef, pork, lamb, and frog. The turduckencorpheail, turgooponducheasanishuail, and the turgooponducheasnishuaichuffguihagaga

Chef Paul Prudhomme brought renewed popularity to the OsturduckencorpheailOsturduckencorpheail recipe. There is a similar dish in South Africa called the Osturducken, an ostrich stuffed with turkey stuffed with duck stuffed with chicken.

Some barbecue aficionados have been known to enclose a turducken in a whole hog, and slow-smoke or pit roast it for large gatherings or festivals. Kansas City Pitmaster "Schedule Peter" Pookie Thornhill was credited in 2006 with the invention of the turdbutt, a pork shoulder (or Boston butt), inside a duck, inside a turkey. A further variant is the gurducken, where the external bird is a goose, which is stuffed with a turkey, then a duck, then a chicken. Some chefs "dress up" their turduckens, adding a vest of baby back ribs and/or a bowtie of bacon. The Turducken has also inspired variations, such as the hotchken. A hotchken, known as "the poor man's turducken," is a chicken stuffed with hotdogs.

In the UK the Turducken is commonly known as a three-bird roast. English chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall expanded this into a ten-bird roast (a turgoduckmaguikenantidgeonck- turkey, goose, duck, mallard, guineafowl, chicken, pheasant, partridge, pigeon, woodcock) [1].

The largest recorded nested bird roast is 17 birds, attributed to a royal feast in France in the 19th century: a bustergophechiduckneaealcockidgeoverwingailusharkolanbler (originally called a RĂ´ti Sans Pareil, or "Roast without equal") - a bustard stuffed with a turkey, a goose, a pheasant, a chicken, a duck, a guinea fowl, a teal, a woodcock, a partridge, a plover, a lapwing, a quail, a thrush, a lark, an Ortolan Bunting and a Garden Warbler. The final bird is small enough that it can be stuffed with a single olive; it also suggests that, unlike modern multi-bird roasts, there was no stuffing or other packing placed in between the birds. This dish probably could not be recreated in the modern era as many of the listed birds are now protected species.

A (possibly apocryphal) dish of camel stuffed with animal and plant foods in layers is whole stuffed camel.

One important note to those considering making one of these variations is the fact that when small things are placed inside of larger things, it becomes difficult to slice the end product in such a way that all things end up on your plate. Some claim that as much as 90% of a Turducken sliced from the turkey's neck backwards contain meat from all three birds, though if you attempt to serve an Osturduckencorpheil for a family meal (it will serve around 30 people), many people will be unhappy because it is impossible to slice the entire product such that the innermost quail ends up on everybody's plate."

Anybody got a favorite name? Or new recipe???

:)

TG

Cardiovascular Dating

I've been thinking about dating here lately. Not here, but lately. Dinner and a movie doesn't necessarily bore me, but has great potential to bore me. Truth be known, it has great potential to bore her. From what I've read, that's called compassion. :)

I'd like to offer three alternatives to the traditional one-two pitch. I'm thinking activity that involves moving around, some friendly competition, and relating to one another, on an atypical level. I'm thinking either bowling, putt-putt golf, or frisbee golf. And I'm not naive. Any of these activities would also inspire dinner as a compliment! :) Okay, that naive verdict is still on the table! :)

Bowling kicks butt. This is assuming you're a novice or casual bowler. Don't go bowling on a first date with a serious bowler. If she's got her own shoes and ball, you're in trouble!. If she's got anybody else's ball, you're in more trouble! But I digress.. Bowling is fun. It's wholesome. As a character analysis, it's interesting to see how someone reacts to being really bad... or good.

Putt-putt golf truly is the best. But it doesn't last long enough. Where have I heard this problem before? :) The times that I've played putt-putt with female friends, it's all hee-hee fun and games in the beginning. It's a series of little putting greens. Making shots a bit too hard or too soft. Then they (those females) get more serious towards the end, often kicking my butt. Then we have to go another round! :)

Finally there's frisbee golf. It's not something I've done as a date activity, but I'd like to. I just love frisbee. My last date gal, she didn't take frisbee seriously. She threw the disc like it was a biscuit, and I was a dog! She'd sling it out there and I'd chase it like a good labradour. Was a good workout though. But we never played frisbee golf. It's a lot of fun. It's like the other golf, but there's a pole with a basket on it. You have to land the disc in the basket. And, it's got the most picnic potential! :)

I get the distinct feeling I'm rambling. Thank you for your time!

PS: This is an edit! Would anyone have a preference between any of these activities? Or are they just not the best of ideas? I do respect your opinions!

:)

TG