Withholding: does the abuser stop speaking to you when they're displeased? do they ignore you? do they withdraw affection in order to punish you? do they blame you for this?
when was the last time the Christian god had a conversation with a man?
smc91352
We are told in the Bible that God is love; therefore, whenever someone experiences love, they are experiencing God. That we don't hear a constant voice in our head does not mean that God is not communicating with us in some sense.
Countering: does the abuser tell you you're wrong if you don't agree with them? do they argue against your every thought? do they tell you your feelings are wrong? do they tell you that you don't know what you're talking about? do they forbid you from having your own opinions?
*cough*
smc91352
When a parent cautions her child against a harmful action, and out of love attempts to steer that child onto the right path, would you say that that parent is abusing her child?
I would at least hope not.
Discounting: does the abuser ignore or disparage your feelings? do they put down your feelings? do they dismiss you with statements such as, "you're too sensitive" or "you don't have a sense of humor" or "you're just taking it wrong"?
what about the sexual feelings we get that he tells us to ignore?
smc91352
The Bible certainly condemns lust, but rightly so, considering how destructive it can be when left unchecked.
Accusing and Blaming: does the abuser blame you for everything that goes wrong? do they accuse you of hurting them when you tell them your feelings? do they accuse you of having affairs? are they jealous?
*cough*
smc91352
You might want to get a doctor to look at that cough. It seems to be happening at awfully random times. :P
Judging and Criticizing: does the abuser find fault with everything you do? are they extremely hard to please? do they tell you you "ought" or "should" do things a certain way?
*cough*
smc91352
Again, back to the parent example - of course we are told how we ought to live, but that is because that is the way in which happiness may be achieved. No one would accuse a mother of being abusive for telling her son what he ought or ought not to do.
Threatening: does the abuser threaten you, overtly or covertly? do they threaten you with violence? do they threaten you with emotional pain?
Isn't that exactly what hell is?
smc91352
Properly translated, the Bible does not speak a single word about a place in which eternal torture happens. Above all, we are told to do everything we do in live out of love. Although the Bible does speak of punishment, the Greek specifically identifies it as "chastisement" - that is, corrective punishment whose purpose is to improve the one being punsihed... again, much as a mother might punish her child.
Ordering: does the abuser order you to do something instead of asking? do they demand things?
Love him!!!
smc91352
"We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, 'I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother." (1 John 4:19-21)
I don't exactly see terrible tyranny in this.
Abusive Anger: does the abuser erupt into a rage when they are angry? do they scream, yell, or shout? do they hurl obscenities? does their body language become more aggressive? do they stomp, strut, hit things, or hit you? do they become red in the face? do they throw things? do they physically get in your way, or follow you from room to room? do they snap at you? are they usually irritable? does all of this usually take place in private, when you are alone? (It's a sure sign things are escalating if the abuser attacks you in public.) does the abuser blame you for their anger?
*cough*
smc91352
That really is a nasty cough there.
I kind of get the sense you've had some unpleasant experience with Christians attempting a bit too zealously to convince you of their beliefs. If so, I apologize on their behalf.
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