I think that's between a parent and their child. Abuse is wrong, but I wouldn't put spanking in that category.
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I think that's between a parent and their child. Abuse is wrong, but I wouldn't put spanking in that category.
Yeah but that's the thing. A child who I raise to be respectful, courteous, and helpful, and who understands consequences will no doubt treat me better later in life than a child who I allow to go through their young life without any sort of responsibility or consequence for their actions and who thinks the world revolves around them and what they want. There are some children who just don't need disciplining at all, and they are the ones that can be on a slacker rope at a young age. Children who throw tantrums will become adults who throw tantrums unless the behavior is stopped in its' tracks, and I'd rather be elderly and dying in a tin shack than be taken care of by an adult child who still believes it's their way or the highway.Just remember, your kids are going to be the ones looking after you when you get old. You wouldn't want them to put you in a terrible retirement home would you? :P
redstorm72
[QUOTE="redstorm72"]Yeah but that's the thing. A child who I raise to be respectful, courteous, and helpful, and who understands consequences will no doubt treat me better later in life than a child who I allow to go through their young life without any sort of responsibility or consequence for their actions and who thinks the world revolves around them and what they want. There are some children who just don't need disciplining at all, and they are the ones that can be on a slacker rope at a young age. Children who throw tantrums will become adults who throw tantrums unless the behavior is stopped in its' tracks, and I'd rather be elderly and dying in a tin shack than be taken care of by an adult child who still believes it's their way or the highway.Just remember, your kids are going to be the ones looking after you when you get old. You wouldn't want them to put you in a terrible retirement home would you? :P
XilePrincess
Either that or they'll resent you for constantly using fear and intimidation rather than respect. I've seen it happen quite frequently actually. Why should they respect you when you don't respect them? Not saying that is how it will turn out, but some kids do grow up to see it that way.
First of all nobody is going to listen to anyone that tries to tell them how they should raise their kids.
And lol @ people saying spanking is abusive.
You should step outside and observe what the world is like today with kids that swear that they run the world since they run their parents.
My neighbor used to be just like this, his dad would call him to eat dinner and he would curse at him and say "I'm not **** hungry". I was so disgusted I actually told him you shouldnt talk to your dad like that come on man. (single dad an all)
I have great respect for my dad today, though I feared him when I was younger. I do believe a few spanks sent me on the right path.
Its parents like you that I always see with kids that are embarassing them in public, but I'm sure the timeouts will encourage him to respect you.
Yeah but that's the thing. A child who I raise to be respectful, courteous, and helpful, and who understands consequences will no doubt treat me better later in life than a child who I allow to go through their young life without any sort of responsibility or consequence for their actions and who thinks the world revolves around them and what they want. There are some children who just don't need disciplining at all, and they are the ones that can be on a slacker rope at a young age. Children who throw tantrums will become adults who throw tantrums unless the behavior is stopped in its' tracks, and I'd rather be elderly and dying in a tin shack than be taken care of by an adult child who still believes it's their way or the highway.[QUOTE="XilePrincess"][QUOTE="redstorm72"]
Just remember, your kids are going to be the ones looking after you when you get old. You wouldn't want them to put you in a terrible retirement home would you? :P
redstorm72
Either that or they'll resent you for constantly using fear and intimidation rather than respect. I've seen it happen quite frequently actually. Why should they respect you when you don't respect them? Not saying that is how it will turn out, but some kids do grow up to see it that way.
Couldn't I turn it around and say that the kids won't respect you. Its like a raising a dog, they have to know who is in charge or they'll take over. Its all about proper parenting and using both methods effectively and when needed.
No duhh your going to see kids that grow up and hate their parents, and you'll see kids that respect their parents to the fullest.
I don't have to look any further than my older brother to get reminded of why we should spank children and he is 21 years old soon
DoomZaW
Older brother??
I'd think you'd say younger brother...
[QUOTE="jun_aka_pekto"][QUOTE="chrisrooR"] So you're essentially reinforcing your own behavior (hitting your child). The more you hit your child, the more you begin to believe that it works to stop behavior that isn't wanted. What you're actually doing to the child is much different. The child cannot possibly begin to understand WHY what they're doing is wrong, so why would you hit them when they can't understand why you're hitting them. So instead of developing a relationship with your child, you're making he/she fearful of you as a parent. The child won't do an action, not because it's wrong, but because the child is fearful of being hit/punished, which is the wrong way to approach the situation. It's a bad parenting move.chrisrooR
They understand pain and associate it with certain behaviors they do especially by the time they reach 3 or 4. If they can't understand why and reacts out of fearfulness, that's fine. They'll eventually learn why. The only way your argument would hold is if you use spanking for every little wrong a kid does. It doesn't work that way. Spanking is done only in certain circumstances.
You're also teaching your child to approach situations that aren't desirable with violence. There is NO reason to hit your child, you can't justify it. Spanking, in your household, may be done only in certain circumstances but what you need to realize is that YOU as a PARENT are INTRODUCING violence to your child through a firsthand experience of it. There are certainly alternative ways to deal with situations you find yourself wanting to spank your child in. Spanking a child is a cop-out parenting move.You know what? If it's a cop out then it's a cop out. It doesn't matter to me. I'll do my parenting my way. You can do your parenting your way. Once my other kid is at an understanding age, she'll understand why I did what I did (if she even retains any memory of it). The elder kid certainly didn't even remember the spanking she received. But she trusts my judgement far more than her mom's even though I'm the stricter one by far.
The parenting methods of my kin are similar to mine. There has yet to be a failure among us and our kids. No slackers, no gangbangers, no druggies, no outcasts even though according to you, they should've been violent because of some spanking they received in the far distant past. We set them on the right path and they've come through every time. My elder kid is well on her way too barring any bad outside influence. She's old and responsible enough to the point I don't have to deal with her too much unless she asks for help or demands attention.
As for my elder kid being spanked when she was a toddler for trying to get electrocuted, show me exactly how you would've dealt with it.
It doesn't have to be constant, and it probably won't be. But I mean, any kind of discipline includes fear and intimidation. Even saying "No TV/dessert/toys for you if you don't ______" is intimidation and causing fear. I will certainly respect my children, but I will not let them walk all over me. I'm not going to give respect to a child throwing a tantrum in walmart or punching my legs because I won't give them candy while I'm trying to prepare a meal for them.Either that or they'll resent you for constantly using fear and intimidation rather than respect. I've seen it happen quite frequently actually. Why should they respect you when you don't respect them? Not saying that is how it will turn out, but some kids do grow up to see it that way.
redstorm72
You're also teaching your child to approach situations that aren't desirable with violence. There is NO reason to hit your child, you can't justify it. Spanking, in your household, may be done only in certain circumstances but what you need to realize is that YOU as a PARENT are INTRODUCING violence to your child through a firsthand experience of it. There are certainly alternative ways to deal with situations you find yourself wanting to spank your child in. Spanking a child is a cop-out parenting move.
jun_aka_pekto
Violence is the basis for governmental authority. That's just the way the world works. On a personal level, there are undesirable situations that need to be met with violence. Complaining about violence is a cop-out debating move.
ya my parents are soft. my little bro doesnt fear them at all. but he sure as hell fears me. someones got to wear the pants in the family. no disrespect to my dad but man hes so soft on the kid...
beating a child is good.
[QUOTE="-Big_Red-"][QUOTE="redstorm72"]
You know, Ive seen some kids who were spanked that turned out pretty bad. You disciplinary method as a child does not define who you are as an adult.
True. But some children NEED to be spanked.and what kind of children would that be?
Off topic- sucks your blog got shut down there lad
A very naughty child:P. I know:(:cry:, I'm thinking about editing, and reposting it.If other parents want to, then be my guest but when I have children the worst they would get is a slap on the hand if they did something naughty when they were little.
[QUOTE="XilePrincess"]There's a difference between spanking and abuse. If people can't tell where to draw the line, they're probably in the abusive group. Nobody will tell me how to and not to discipline my child. I know what is acceptable force on a child and what isn't, and my government will not tell me otherwise. Kids need a good smack in the ass from time to time, and if I have to do it in public, boo hoo for the new-age parents who think talking fixes everything, because you cannot (and should not) waste your time speaking calmly to a screaming brat. I will NOT obey any law that says I cannot discipline my child as I please, because if I did, I'd only be able to spank my kid at home in private, and kids are not stupid, they'll pick up on the fact that you won't smack them in public and just be nastier little beasts. Like I said in a thread yesterday about this, children are below you. You are their superiors. They bargain with you, you do not reason or bargain with or bribe them. Shottayouth13-GS needs a like button.
OMFG GS does need a like button
Like x1000
said very well.
At first I thought this was about our new policy of publicly spanking users before we ban them, and I was wondering how the news leaked out. S***! I've said too much.rragnaar
It's because we saw them since they were public like you said. :P
On subject, a good ol' spanking is sometimes the only way to make a child understand.
As George Carlin put it years ago, all this psycho babble BS has caused a generation of kids who are soft. I see it everywhere I go. I walk up to the grocery store and I see kids riding their skateboard on property clearly marked that no skateboarding allowed and even after the police confiscated their skateboards, they are back after their parents had to go down and pick the boards up. I can't say for sure, but the kids sure lacked some sort of discipline early in life. I see kids at department stores tossing temper tantrums due to the kids always getting their way (I see parents give in when this happens 9 times out of 10) more often then not.
I got my share of spankings when I was a kid and I also remember a time when I had a mouthful of soap due to me saying something bad (I don't recall what I said). When I look back, I can see me still doing things that I got spanked for again and again (I was the rebellious one of us 3 kids), but I can still see that I am better man now than I was back then as a kid.
Sending a kid to his or her room today just means they cannot do things outdoors or visit friends, but that does not mean that they are out of communication with the world. Nowadays, there is a TV or PC (not in all kids cases) or game console and all of their toys in their rooms so they do not learn anything by being kept out of the action so to speak. Time out in a corner doesn't work either, especially when the kid has all sorts of stuff going on around him or her self. They pay attention to that instead of why they are sitting in a corner (make them stand there instead honestly if you are gonna use that route).
No one should have to worry about some government entity prying or worse, dictating, how a parent can or can't raise or discipline a child. To me, spanking is using a open hand, ruler, belt. Hitting means using a fist. If people are hitting a child, then yes, maybe they are going overboard, but a spanking, no.
[QUOTE="jun_aka_pekto"]
You're also teaching your child to approach situations that aren't desirable with violence. There is NO reason to hit your child, you can't justify it. Spanking, in your household, may be done only in certain circumstances but what you need to realize is that YOU as a PARENT are INTRODUCING violence to your child through a firsthand experience of it. There are certainly alternative ways to deal with situations you find yourself wanting to spank your child in. Spanking a child is a cop-out parenting move.
Palantas
Violence is the basis for governmental authority. That's just the way the world works. On a personal level, there are undesirable situations that need to be met with violence. Complaining about violence is a cop-out debating move.
And an undesirable situation involving your children needs to be "met with violence"? Ok, I understand that violence does serve a purpose, and sometimes needs to be excercised....but when you're talking about children, there are plenty of alternative, non-violent ways to discipline them.Some members of Canada's senate are trying to get spanking your child bannned. The current law allows parents to use necessary disciplinary force, but this would not allow parents touse any force at all.
So this got me thinking, is it okay to spank your child when they misbehave? The way I see it, there's nothing wrong with it as long as the parent doesn't hit too hard. Too many parents these days are just too easy on their kids. I've seen kids screaming in public while the parent just stands there and watches them. :| The best way to make a child behave is to make them fear misbehaving, right? Sending your kid to their room is not a punishment, they'll justfind something to do there.harashawn
Lol, the term "spanking" down here in Aus is more the kinky word for consenting adults.
And an undesirable situation involving your children needs to be "met with violence"? Ok, I understand that violence does serve a purpose, and sometimes needs to be excercised....but when you're talking about children, there are plenty of alternative, non-violent ways to discipline them.
chrisrooR
First off, I was addressing someone else's post, which made generic arguments with "violence" as the boogey-man. That's lazy thinking. In regards to your comments, maybe, maybe not. If you're using physicality to punish someone, then you're using violence. I can generate all sorts of scenarios involving children where violence or surrender are the only options left.
[QUOTE="harashawn"]
Some members of Canada's senate are trying to get spanking your child bannned. The current law allows parents to use necessary disciplinary force, but this would not allow parents touse any force at all.
So this got me thinking, is it okay to spank your child when they misbehave? The way I see it, there's nothing wrong with it as long as the parent doesn't hit too hard. Too many parents these days are just too easy on their kids. I've seen kids screaming in public while the parent just stands there and watches them. :| The best way to make a child behave is to make them fear misbehaving, right? Sending your kid to their room is not a punishment, they'll justfind something to do there.THUMPTABLE
Lol, the term "spanking" down here in Aus is more the kinky word for consenting adults.
ooohhhhh spank me!
Spank? No. Mild hitting? Yes.
Respect is a concept a five year-old can't quite grasp, and as I like to say, fear is a better tool of control, unless your subject is stronger than you. That, and respect can be easily erased, whilst fear cannot. I wouldn't, however, hit a child of my own: I know several other ways to punish them without applying force.
What makes you think a child can't grasp "Respect"? Could it define it? Likely not. But it could definitely understand the presence of an authority figure, and what they authority figure considers acceptable and unacceptable. For instance, most children lie naturally at a young age. They do not have to be taught how to do it. They understand, at a young age, the concept of "trouble" and recognize that consequences can follow said "trouble", so they try to avoid it. Why is it then that a child can't understand the concept of "Respect"?Spank? No. Mild hitting? Yes.
Respect is a concept a five year-old can't quite grasp, and as I like to say, fear is a better tool of control, unless your subject is stronger than you. That, and respect can be easily erased, whilst fear cannot. I wouldn't, however, hit a child of my own: I know several other ways to punish them without applying force.
iAtrocious
[QUOTE="iAtrocious"]What makes you think a child can't grasp "Respect"? Could it define it? Likely not. But it could definitely understand the presence of an authority figure, and what they authority figure considers acceptable and unacceptable. For instance, most children lie naturally at a young age. They do not have to be taught how to do it. They understand, at a young age, the concept of "trouble" and recognize that consequences can follow said "trouble", so they try to avoid it. Why is it then that a child can't understand the concept of "Respect"?Spank? No. Mild hitting? Yes.
Respect is a concept a five year-old can't quite grasp, and as I like to say, fear is a better tool of control, unless your subject is stronger than you. That, and respect can be easily erased, whilst fear cannot. I wouldn't, however, hit a child of my own: I know several other ways to punish them without applying force.
clayron
Because the concept of respect does not pertain directly to them. Children are self-centered by nature. They think very little about anything beyond their own fingertips. They understand when THEY are in trouble. But have little understanding of anything beyond what they have themselves experienced first hand.
That makes sense. I hadn't looked at it that way.Because the concept of respect does not pertain directly to them. Children are self-centered by nature. They think very little about anything beyond their own fingertips. They understand when THEY are in trouble. But have little understanding of anything beyond what they have themselves experienced first hand.
keech
[QUOTE="iAtrocious"]What makes you think a child can't grasp "Respect"? Could it define it? Likely not. But it could definitely understand the presence of an authority figure, and what they authority figure considers acceptable and unacceptable. For instance, most children lie naturally at a young age. They do not have to be taught how to do it. They understand, at a young age, the concept of "trouble" and recognize that consequences can follow said "trouble", so they try to avoid it. Why is it then that a child can't understand the concept of "Respect"?Spank? No. Mild hitting? Yes.
Respect is a concept a five year-old can't quite grasp, and as I like to say, fear is a better tool of control, unless your subject is stronger than you. That, and respect can be easily erased, whilst fear cannot. I wouldn't, however, hit a child of my own: I know several other ways to punish them without applying force.
clayron
What makes me think a child can't grasp "Respect"? Having lived with a younger sister when I was already of age, having nephews and having an aunt/uncle that raised their kids with passive behavior (grounding, but no phys. punishment) (I didn't, obviously, spank neither of these children, since they weren't my offspring). They lie, they laugh in your face (and in their parent's, if they are submissive), they're devious and they do nothing that you ask them unless you threaten them or put something that's theirs at risk.
[QUOTE="iAtrocious"]What makes you think a child can't grasp "Respect"? Could it define it? Likely not. But it could definitely understand the presence of an authority figure, and what they authority figure considers acceptable and unacceptable. For instance, most children lie naturally at a young age. They do not have to be taught how to do it. They understand, at a young age, the concept of "trouble" and recognize that consequences can follow said "trouble", so they try to avoid it. Why is it then that a child can't understand the concept of "Respect"?Spank? No. Mild hitting? Yes.
Respect is a concept a five year-old can't quite grasp, and as I like to say, fear is a better tool of control, unless your subject is stronger than you. That, and respect can be easily erased, whilst fear cannot. I wouldn't, however, hit a child of my own: I know several other ways to punish them without applying force.
clayron
cant tell you how many times in my home we had friends come over with kids that never been disciplined and not shown how to respect a home that is not theirs and they end up touching everything! it drives me crazy, and those same people, my family and i avoid getting together and hang out at the mall or something because they will end up touching everything as well and start to throw big @$$ fits if they do not get what they want or get to do what they want to do. and you tell them why dont you spank them and they say "oh no i do not dare spank them."
Kids these days need a spanking/whipping. I have gotten some when I was a kid with a belt. It puts fear in you, makes you realize that there are consquences. It is necessary. When the kid grows up he/she will realize and be thankful for it. I am and happy my parents chose to do it to me. I will also do it for my kids. I'm sure the ones in OT that is against have never been spanked in their life. So I believe they should be quiet. They can only give a third person's perspective. I wish them good luck with their bad kids.MgamerBD
im thankful my parents spanked me, i my self and my brothers got the belt, but it wasn't because my mom or dad did it for abuse. all the time i got spanked or get whipped by a belt ( in my ass) is because i knew i did something wrong. i knew i never got whipped or spanked just for the heck of it.but like is aid im thankful because they made me the good person i am today not the best but to have manners and respect.
i never once took drugs, gotten high, smoke, or gotten drunk.
they way my mom and dad said to be when i got around my Jr high years and teen years is this.
if i even join a gang, gotten high, or drunk. they will call the cops to take me away. well it worked never done any of it nor do i care about those kinds of things. why did it work? cause i never want to lose my home i dont want to go to child detention center and lose a lot of my life or anything like that.
Spare the rod and spoil the child. I think spanking is ok, as long as it's used as a last resort. I used to get them on the bare bottom when I was a little kid. Not fun.
[QUOTE="MgamerBD"]Kids these days need a spanking/whipping. I have gotten some when I was a kid with a belt. It puts fear in you, makes you realize that there are consquences. It is necessary. When the kid grows up he/she will realize and be thankful for it. I am and happy my parents chose to do it to me. I will also do it for my kids. I'm sure the ones in OT that is against have never been spanked in their life. So I believe they should be quiet. They can only give a third person's perspective. I wish them good luck with their bad kids.acsam12304
im thankful my parents spanked me, i my self and my brothers got the belt, but it wasn't because my mom or dad did it for abuse. all the time i got spanked or get whipped by a belt ( in my ass) is because i knew i did something wrong. i knew i never got whipped or spanked just for the heck of it.but like is aid im thankful because they made me the good person i am today not the best but to have manners and respect.
i never once took drugs, gotten high, smoke, or gotten drunk.
they way my mom and dad said to be when i got around my Jr high years and teen years is this.
if i even join a gang, gotten high, or drunk. they will call the cops to take me away. well it worked never done any of it nor do i care about those kinds of things. why did it work? cause i never want to lose my home i dont want to go to child detention center and lose a lot of my life or anything like that.
Exactly...it kept us out of trouble. Because the only thing more scarier then death, or the cops was our parents. We was so scared of them and their power over us we kept off the streets and stayed respectful. Today I am thankful for it. They onlt whipped us when we needed to be whipped. They kept it in moderation. Spankings is necessary for kids. If not for that...I would've been a very bad kid...trust me.Please Log In to post.
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