You're missing the point. These kids today allow themselves to be bullied and tortured, allow these words to hurt. Instead of dealing with it they make videos online about how everything is going to be better some day. That's nonsense. If you allow someone to "torture" you like this then you will be a doormat your entire life. For the most part these bully kids are usually losers whos bark is always worse than their bite. You would be amazed at what happens when you stand up for yourself rather than run home to hide in your room and post videos online How am I missing the point when your point is absolutely wrong? That is a huge assumption to say that kids these days allow themselves to be bullied, who in their right mind would want that ever? That is just ludicrous to think, they dont know how to deal with their issues. We all go through teenage angst but imagine being in an environment where you feel threatened or no one understands you. Some of us might "suck it up" and move on but not everyone is like that, nor does it make any side stronger, manlier or braver than the other.I can understand both points of views but sometimes when someone openly presents themselves in a minority group gay or otherwise it can easily encounter backslash the people who allow themselves to do this must be aware of the prejudice and hate and must stick up for themselves but kids have been brought up in a tough transition these days because we are slowly becoming more open minded as a society but there will still be people who will stick to past cultures or hate and continue to hate on the minorities even though media and others says its okay therefore providing mixed messages so on. I was never really bullied in school because I was just the average guy but I do see people who become incredibly hurt when instead should be solid as a brick.[QUOTE="mission76"][QUOTE="mexicangordo"] Things like this make my earlier post seem fact....
And do you happen to be gay Do you know how it was like to be in his shoes? The kid was only 14 years old....He knows nothing and was brought up in an environment of bully and hate. Why do people make it seem like words don't hurt? Its incredible draining to undergo such torment.
mexicangordo
Boy posts emotional It Gets Better video only to commit suicide months later.
This topic is locked from further discussion.
[QUOTE="Ncsoftlover"]
[QUOTE="PernicioEnigma"]He had supportive friends and probably a good family, it's shocking how people can give up on life so easily. I know it sounds harsh, but it's the truth. Millions of people around the world go through much, MUCH worse than school yard bullying. I'm not going to be a douche and say I don't feel any remorse for him, because of course I do, he was only a kid and now he's dead.SpartanMSU
mind doesn't work that way, I can tell myself everyday, that most people in Africa are worse off, doesn't stop me from having nightmares, and feeling depressed at times.
If it's as simple as: "many people had it worse", then we wouldn't have psychological disorders would we?
I was recently diagnosed with Crohn's Disease and Heart Disease (it was genetic cardiomypothey) which basically completely changed my life for the worse. I was discharged from the military and had to take off school as well. After finally recovering from one emergency surgery, I just had to have another one, but this time with a illestomy. Yeah, that means my small intestine is poking up through my skin and that's where I crap into a bag now. I walk around with that thing on everyday.
But guess what, after being in the hospital for that long, you realize A LOT of people have it A LOT worse than you do. It made me thankful for what I actually do have.
So sack up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. That's not going to get you anywhere in life and your never going to be happy.
How unfortunate :(
but that does not provide a solution to my problem, in fact I don't think you understand, just like we don't understand what the kid in the question went through exactly.
The problem with me is not that I can't see people have it worse, I'm very much aware that people have it worse, and suffered worse, the problem is that seeing those people encourages you, but doesn't make me feel any better. Psychological problems is just that you sometimes know how silly your thinking processes are, but you can't get out of it. In fact, I sometimes wish I'm struggling with health issues, perhaps that takes away my struggle with mental disorders, a near death experience will in fact bring a new light to my life, and makes me treasure life more. What I'm saying is, struggling with health with people there to support you, may not nesesarily be the worst situation ever, you goal is to stay alive and relatively healthy, that's a clear goal and you can be hopeful.
I don't think it's fun to compare situations, but since you put it out, do you understand how painful it is to be alive yet feeling like being sentenced to life imprisonment ,watching the world passing by in front of you behind bars, and waking up at 4AM vomiting in fear of ievitable social interactions? And your relatives, and family would never truly understand what you're going through? Because it's hidden, it's not physical, (through it may lead to physical problems). Please tell me how does knowing people in Africa have it worse, can help my situation? enlighten me please, because you've obviously seen it all?
And I don't want to be disrespecful to say that I want to trade places, of course I understand (or able to imagine) the pain you must be going through with these diseases, but I can't help thinking, at least people would be encouraging, and be sympathetic to you, are they not?
Oh, and I just want to say that I no longer want to get somewhere in life, that's luxury to me, I just want to live in peace, and be alive and occasionally finding happy moments, and I'm achieving that now , so, yeah... not exactly someone who's trying to commit suicide you're talking to here, it's just that I feel what the suicidal people feel, and respect their decisions if it comes to that...
Thanks anyway for trying to lift me up and best wished to you:)
In some ways this was selfish. What about his family and friends? He's 14 years of age and mature enough to realise the trauma his family must now endure. I myself was bullied in school at the age of 12 and left school and never returned. I ended up with depression and Agoraphobia. I've been fighting both for years and now at the age of 19, I'm nearly where I want to be in life. I still have little self confidence, but I'm working on it.
I think it's truly horrible that this boy felt suicidal, but I'm sure he could've battled his problems rather than just giving up at life. I feel for his family more right now.
R.I.P. kid.
I can't imagine being one of those kids that mercilessly ripped that kid apart.
Imagine how that would feel knowing you helped make that kid commit suicide...
This is so sad, i was bullied for 3 years, not physically but mentally, im 25 now and i have zero confidence because of it.These kids don't realize how much it can affect you later in life, i hardly leave the house now because im always wondering what people are thinking about me, its pathetic. R.I.P kid
it really is sad everytime another teen commits suicide because of bullying. It really does get better though. Dan Savage is one of my heros and I lived through it by knowing that that all of those bullies will always be miserable (hence why they want to make their victims feel as bad as they do). I pray for the day that this country will put its head out of it's a** and start to take this tradegy seriously.
Unless you want public schools ran tighter than a prison then not much can be done about this. There are rather few real bullies in school out there. It is just that the majority of kids out there don't want to get involved. Way too many kids are so easily broken and don't try and stand up for themselves but hide. Get involved in that and you surely can get the attention shifted from them to you, but will that kid now stand up with you or for you? Growing up I found the answer to be alarmingly no. So it seems the kids who stand up for themselves are generally getting better at life, and those who curl up and take the punches because they are generally alone stay alone and drift further away. You cannot magically fix that.it really is sad everytime another teen commits suicide because of bullying. It really does get better though. Dan Savage is one of my heros and I lived through it by knowing that that all of those bullies will always be miserable (hence why they want to make their victims feel as bad as they do). I pray for the day that this country will put its head out of it's a** and start to take this tradegy seriously.
Gbanduser45
Thats exactly the point, they dont know better. We all seem like know it alls now because we are older, but I'm sure we were all unaware and ignorant at that age.The point I am trying to make is not whether we know him, or whether anyone went through the same thing but empathy towards the tragic situation. It doesn't matter who had it worse, but more importantly that we go through it together.
mexicangordo
Of course. I'm not denying that. All I'm saying is that we've got a hell of a lot of people on both sides of the fence speculating on this dude based on personal experience. We've got people saying "I went through hell that this kid could never imagine, so he's a coward for killing himself". On the other side of the fence, we've got people saying "I totally know what it's like to be tormented, and this kid was going through utter hell".
But that's all speculation. We've got people arguing for AND against sympathy for the kid based on projections of ourselves onto a dude who we never knew.
More to the point, this is sort of a blank slate sort of deal. It's just another teenager who killed himself. And lord knows that that's not any kind of shocking news on its own, regardless of if the kid was gay/straight/bi/whatever or if he was bullied or not. The nice thing about this is that teen suicide is sort of a blank slate, allowing readers to take the story and project themselves into it. Sure, empathize (or sympathize, I forget the difference) with the kid. Just realize that lots of teens kill themselves and most of them aren't getting significant attention from total strangers. When one does get attention, it's usually some hot topic (gaming/bullying gays/etc). That's not mere coincidence. Wr're all talking about this and speculating about this kid because bullying is something that we can relate to in one form or another, and it's easy for us to form a picture in our own heads and act like that somehow applies to this kid.
MAYBE this kid's suicide carries with it some deep meaning about bullying and how "alternative lifestyle" people are treated. Or maybe there's really nothing to talk about here. Maybe this is just another kid who killed himself for reasons that no one will ever comprehend, and talking about it is nothing more than speculation and projection.
That doesn't mean to not have empathy (or sympathy...whatever). It just means that most people aren't going to empathize (sympathize) with EVERY suicide. So whether or not we emphasize (or sympathize...one of these days I'll have to learn the difference between those two words) really doesn't amount to a hill of **** unless we ACTUALLY know what this kid was going through (and I mean THIS kid, not some "projecting my experiences onto him" kind of BS).
Oh come one people this conversation has gotten to intense.... can we just lay it to rest a little and just feel sad about what happen. This discussion is now way longer than what it should be.
Oh come one people this conversation has gotten to intense.... can we just lay it to rest a little and just feel sad about what happen. This discussion is now way longer than what it should be.
PoorEdward
There are always people who have to stir up something. I find this sad that a 14 year old kid decided to kill himself because of verbal abuse from people who apparently have no empathy for those that are different.
a 14 year old kid decided to kill himself because of verbal abuse from people who apparently have no empathy for those that are different.SilentSoprano
That's the exact kind of assumption and speculation that I'm talking about.
I'd like a show of hands concerning how many people here actually knew the kid.
[QUOTE="SpartanMSU"]
[QUOTE="Ncsoftlover"]
mind doesn't work that way, I can tell myself everyday, that most people in Africa are worse off, doesn't stop me from having nightmares, and feeling depressed at times.
If it's as simple as: "many people had it worse", then we wouldn't have psychological disorders would we?
Ncsoftlover
I was recently diagnosed with Crohn's Disease and Heart Disease (it was genetic cardiomypothey) which basically completely changed my life for the worse. I was discharged from the military and had to take off school as well. After finally recovering from one emergency surgery, I just had to have another one, but this time with a illestomy. Yeah, that means my small intestine is poking up through my skin and that's where I crap into a bag now. I walk around with that thing on everyday.
But guess what, after being in the hospital for that long, you realize A LOT of people have it A LOT worse than you do. It made me thankful for what I actually do have.
So sack up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. That's not going to get you anywhere in life and your never going to be happy.
How unfortunate :(
but that does not provide a solution to my problem, in fact I don't think you understand, just like we don't understand what the kid in the question went through exactly.
The problem with me is not that I can't see people have it worse, I'm very much aware that people have it worse, and suffered worse, the problem is that seeing those people encourages you, but doesn't make me feel any better. Psychological problems is just that you sometimes know how silly your thinking processes are, but you can't get out of it. In fact, I sometimes wish I'm struggling with health issues, perhaps that takes away my struggle with mental disorders, a near death experience will in fact bring a new light to my life, and makes me treasure life more. What I'm saying is, struggling with health with people there to support you, may not nesesarily be the worst situation ever, you goal is to stay alive and relatively healthy, that's a clear goal and you can be hopeful.
I don't think it's fun to compare situations, but since you put it out, do you understand how painful it is to be alive yet feeling like being sentenced to life imprisonment ,watching the world passing by in front of you behind bars, and waking up at 4AM vomiting in fear of ievitable social interactions? And your relatives, and family would never truly understand what you're going through? Because it's hidden, it's not physical, (through it may lead to physical problems). Please tell me how does knowing people in Africa have it worse, can help my situation? enlighten me please, because you've obviously seen it all?
And I don't want to be disrespecful to say that I want to trade places, of course I understand (or able to imagine) the pain you must be going through with these diseases, but I can't help thinking, at least people would be encouraging, and be sympathetic to you, are they not?
Oh, and I just want to say that I no longer want to get somewhere in life, that's luxury to me, I just want to live in peace, and be alive and occasionally finding happy moments, and I'm achieving that now , so, yeah... not exactly someone who's trying to commit suicide you're talking to here, it's just that I feel what the suicidal people feel, and respect their decisions if it comes to that...
Thanks anyway for trying to lift me up and best wished to you:)
I know where you're coming from. I used to have similar problems in my early teens. Then I realized that instead of feeling sorry for myself, I'm going to try and change for the better and get passed this. It's all about your attitude. There's things in life you simply cannot change, like my medical condition, but you always can control your attitude. You can get past what you're going through right now. Many people have.
For instance, I know my crap bag is going to break in public sometime. It already has. There's nothing I can do about this accept change my attitude. I make light of the situtation by joking about it and shrugging it off. I could of said F this and never go out in public anymore for fear of this happening, but I'm not going to let my ailments control my life. I decided that all I have control over is my attitude and that my life will be 100x better if I try to have a positive one.
I'm not trying to be mean or anything, I'm trying to help you. If you want to change, the only person who's going to do that is you. Maybe trying seeing a therapist or something. Take up something that will give you confidence. Put yourself out here and don't shy away from certain things just because of what others might think of you.
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