My wife said to me, "I've just heard some great news, apparently the police know who the local paedophile is and they are going to arrest him tonight." I said, That's brilliant news. Let's celebrate by moving to Australia.
[QUOTE="F1_2004"]A rabbi and a catholic priest are walking down the street when they see a boy walking across the road. The priest says "hey, let's screw him". The rabbi asks "out of what?" ... (no offense intended :D ) hahaha :D
what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket What do you call a group of black people running down a hill? Landslide What do you call a bunch of white people running down a hill? Avalanche What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill? Prison break (no insults intended :D)
*This one is a quite a bit...crude, although I found it hilarious when I first heard it*
A husband and wife are enjoying their first night as couple on their wedding night. One thing leads to another and soon they're really going at it. The wife parts her legs and a bee flies in through an open window, and flies directly into her...lower chambers. So anyway, the husband is very distraught, and quickly drives her to a hospital. The husband pleads to the doctor that he can take whatever course of action is necessary in order to help his wife. The doctor trys using pincers and prongs, but isn't having any luck as the bee is quite far in. So, he asks the husband if he would allow him to put honey on the end of his penis so as to lure the bee out. The husband, still very panicky, agrees. So, the good doctor coats his penis in honey and inserts it into the woman. After a few pushes, the doctor announces he isn't getting anywhere, so he begins to push in..harder and harder... after a while, he looks like he's really enjoying himself. The husband says "Whoa, whoa! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" The doctor replies "New plan: I'm going to drown the little bastard"
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