HURT/HEAL: Instant Death Returns!

Jiang Wei: Taishi Ci! I cannot stand by and watch you live as you are my enemy.

Taishi Ci: I cannot refuse a challenge. I shall bash you into the ground.

Jiang Wei throws his trident at Taishi Ci but he deflects. Jiang Wei swiftly runs up to Taishi Ci and kicks him in the face knocking him backwards into his trident while it was still in mid-air and afterwards landing on it completely impaling him. Jiang Wei kill Taishi Ci.

Zhou Tai witnessed Taishi Ci's death and charges for Jiang Wei shouting YOU WILL PAY! Jiang Wei quickly dodges and kicks Zhou Tai in the back after passing him which pushes Zhou Tai onto his trident as well.

Jiang Wei kills Zhou Tai

Da Qiao: Zhang Fei, why are you here my husband is already dead. Zhang Fei: I am here to get revenge on your sister for killing my brother. Da Qiao: So you have come to kill me is that it? Zhang Fei: Ya pretty much. Da Qiao: Well then may the best fighter win. They start charging at each other and Zhang Fei stabs at Da Qiao but she side steps, grabs his spear flips him up into the air throwing him 30 feet away as she continues charging him and stabs him in his heart with his own spear.

Da Qiao has killed Zhang Fei

Sima Yi: Sima Shi do you really think you can kill your own father? Sima Shi: Yes in fact I do. Sima Yi: Well then hit me with your best shot fire away. Sima Shi, having gotten ahold of Lu Bu's halbred, charges his father, stabs him in the stomach and throws him into a deep river. As his father slowly drowns Sima Shi laughs maniacally and says. Sima Shi: Father you totally deserved to die.

Sima Shi has killed Sima Yi

Jiang Wei: Zhang Liao, you have crossed me for the last time. I shall now destroy you.

Zhang Liao: Let it be so then.

Jiang Wei and Zhang Liao charge for each other and as they approach each other Jiang Wei orders for his hidden catapult to spring up and stabbed Zhang Liao.

Jiang Wei killed Zhang Liao

Jiang Wei: You shall not stand in the way of me and my mentor, Pang Tong.

Pang Tong: Zhuge Liang is a nothing compared to my wit and you are not match for it either.

Jiang Wei: Battle cannot be won on wit alone. It takes strength as well, which you do not have.

Jiang Wei picks up Pang Tong and ties him to the side of the ship they are sailing on.

Pang Tong has been drowned by Jiang Wei.

Da Qiao: Sun Jian why did you kill my husband? Sun Jian: He attacked in my own throne room. Da Qiao: But he was your own son, so what was the real reason. Sun Jian: That was the real reason. What more do you want from me? Da Qiao: I want you to die. Da Qiao picks up a sword and throws it at Sun Jian and slices his arm open. Da Qiao has hurt Sun Jian.

Da Qiao picks up Ling Tong's Numchuks and pummels Sun Jian with them.

Da Qiao has hurt Sun Jian

Da Qiao: Huang Zhong you will die. Huang Zhong: So you think you can beat me you insolent whelp? We will see.

Da Qiao picks up Huang Zhong's bow and shoots him in the balls. Da Qiao has hurt Huang Zhong. Da Qiao shoots him again but this time shoots him in the head.

Da Qiao has killed Huang Zhong

hey when was it that you can hurt them twice in 1 post....jeffhardy141

you can either make two posts per day "hurting someone" or just hurt twise in one post. so long as you dont do more than two in a day.

SUNJIAN: "Da Qiao you little whore! I put a roof over your head and this is how you repay me?!?

Sunjian tosses Daqiao into a pit of ferocious tigers

SUNJIAN has hurt DAQIAO

SUNJIAN: "So! you survived the tigers somehow. Lets add insult to injury shall we?"

sunjian tosses daqiao into an open cellblock of ferocious rapists

sunjian hurts daqiao

Cao Ren and Wei Yan were having an argument and they were two feet away from each other

Wei Yan:You......ook......like.....a.....robot

Cao Ren:Well you sound like a man whos been using 3 tesosterem bottles every day in you're life

Wei Yan:how......did....you....know

Cao Ren;What?

Wei Yan:noting......optimus prime

Cao Ren:Thats it im going to kill you

*Cao ren ran at Wei yan and after two minutes of Cao Ren trying to get Wei yan, Wei Yan got bored and went at cao ren and killed him

Wei Yan....killed.......Cao Ren

Lu Xun and Zhuge Liang are aruguing about whos the better strategist

Zhuge Liang:I gratuaded at a community college.

Lu Xun:I gratuated in Harvord and then attended Stanford and graduated that to.

Zhuge Liang:........well er um im stronger and ill fight you to the death

*Zhuge Liang throws his fan at Lu Xun and it bounces of him leaving a little smudge in Lu Xun's armor.*

Lu Xun:Now it is my turn

Lu xun thrusts his sword in Zhuge Liang's chest and he takes out it

Zhuge Liang: Ha ha i forgot to tell you I'm immortal!

*Zhuge Liang then fells on the floor and dies*

Lu Xun has killed Zhuge Liang

DaQiao is walking alone in the gardens of Jian Ye. Smelling the flowers and nurturing her treasonous thoughts. She comes upon a large rose and smells it. She picks it, but the thorns prick her fingers.

Sunjian: "Every rose has thorns my dear."

DaQiao turns, startled.

DaQiao: "Lord Sun Jian!"

Sunjian: "Especially the roses in the gardens of Jian Ye, it seems."

Without warning, Sun Jian quickly thrusts a knife into the guts of Da Qiao

Da Qiao: "AAAUGHH!!!"

Sun Jian: "Today I strip my gardens of their thorns!"

SUNJIAN hurts DAQIAO

High atop the volcanic Mt Doom, Sun Jian works, forging The One Pheasant of Power. He forges it with the inscriptions "One Pheasant to crush them all, One Pheasant to play them, One Pheasant to hunt them all, and in the darkness slay them."

Unbeknownst to Sun Jian, the sneaky eyes of Da Qiao were watching.

The Pheasant whispers to Sun Jian: "The eyes of the thorn are upon you"

*DAQIAO leaps into action, she goes headlong at The One Pheasant*

Sun Jian: "NOO!!!"

*She graps the Pheasant and begins to make off with it, but the evil of the thing begins to take hold of her; it wants to return to its master*

Da Qiao: "Musst.... ressisssttt!"

But the Pheasant decieved her. It grew cold to the touch and she dropped the golden bird. It abandoned Qiao. In her moment of stupor, SunJian came upon her and pushed her into the firey mountain.

Sun Jian hurts Da Qiao

Xiao Qiao: Da Qiao I am afraid that Sun Jian has ordered me to kill you for he is away on business ;D. Da Qiao: Really, then i guess we must, FIGHT TO THE DEATH. They charge at each other both throwing their fans deflecting all of them into Da Qiao's face. Xiao Qiao has hurt Da Qiao. Xiao: so you have survived eh. Well NOT ANY LONGER. Xiao Qiao kicks Da Qiao of the top of Mt. Everest and she lands on a spike at the bottom of the 29,000+ foot mountain.

Xiao Qiao has killed Da Qiao.

Xiao Qiao: Lord Sun Jian, you summoned my lord? Sun Jian: Ahhh yes my darling come her for a moment I must speak to you at once. Xiao Qiao: Of course my lord, as you command. Sun Jian: It seems you kicked your own sister off of Mt. Everest and she landed on a spike. It amazes me that you would do such a terrible thing and to your own sister, wow harsh. Xiao Qiao: Well you ordered me to kill her and I, being your faithful servant, obeyed. Sun Jian: As you have displayed your loyalty again and again I am giving you a most pressing assignment. Xiao Qiao: What is it you wish of me my lord. Sun Jian: I need you to infiltrate Yuan Shao's force and kill him in one of the most brutal ways you can think of. Xiao Qiao: It shall be done my lord.

So Xiao Qiao sets on her mission to kill Yuan Shao, but when she gets to Yuan Shao's Stronghold of Ye, he has fled because his army has been defeated and stronghold taken at the hands of Guan Xing.

Xiao Qiao: It seems that you have scared away Yuan Shao. I was sent here to kill him but I guess I will have to kill you in his place for now.

Xiao Qiao runs up to Guan Xing takes his spear, lifts Guan Xing, and slowly forces the spear through his body eventually forcing the top of the spear through the top of his head.

Xiao Qiao has killed Guan Xing.

Lu Xun was collecting flowers in a meadow when Zhang Liao pushed him on the floor and Lu Xun got up angrily

Lu Xun;WHat is you're probelm

Zhang Liao:A supporter of the HAN is picking flowers that are supportign the way of peace

Lu Xun:They're flowers they cant support anything you crazy old man

ZHang Liao:Do not call me old you rebel

Lu Xun:You weird hippy im not a rebel im part of Sun Jian?

ZHang Liao:hes killed multiple peaple

Lu Xun:Oh ya i forgot this isnt dynasty warriors this is Hurt/Heal

Zhang Liao:What are you talkign about?

Lu Xun;Oh nothing

Zhang Liao:Im gettign really tired of you so ill kill you

Zhang Liao grabbed that weird staff or something and fire came out and shot at Lu Xun. the fire missed and hit the flowers. Zhang Liao was so sad he hit himself in the staff hoping he'd die but he fell on the floor in pain. Lu Xun decided to put him out of his misery and he killed him

Lu XUn has killed Zhang Liao

I have a quick question. Why was Zhao Yun not included in this little event.bug_trevor

Looks like I forgot about him

After playing 5 empires i realized you forgot Zhang Jiao because i looked at the yellow list it says ZHang Liao and got confused... you forgot the leader of the Yellow Turban i think?jeffhardy141

You're right. Maybe his unit will arrive as reinforcements or something.

After Xiao Qiao finished with Guan Xing she continued on her way to kill Yuan Shao. As she is walking through the mountains, suddenly Yuan Shao jumps out of the bushes and attempts to molest Xiao. Xiao Qiao: Oh no you didn't!!

She takes Yuan Shao throws him from the top of a mountain and when he hits the ground his legs goes through a flaming spear. As the fire spreads he slowly burns to a crisp with his last words being, Yuan Shao: How dare you end my lineage!!

Xiao Qiao has killed Yuan Shao.

I didn't get it. I guess a spear was just laying at the bttm of the mountain, and why does he curse yuan shao when he got killed by a chick. oh...wait... it makes sense now.

and nothing is ever too harsh

*A mysterious agent tosses a molotov cocktail into the home of Liu Feng, which then bursts into flames*

LIUFENG: "AH! MY HOME!"

*SUNJIAN reveals himself as the mysterious agent*

SUNJIAN: "Your home was a blight on these lands, as is your name, and your face!"

*SUNJIAN slashes at LIUFENG, slicing his face clean-off*

LIU FENG: "mmmfffgggrrrpppfff"

SUNJIAN: "HOW DARE YOU, SWINE!"

*SUNJIAN picks up a flaming queer and throws it into LIUFENG who then explodes*

sunjian kills liufeng

*Cao Bao searches for the killer of Liu Feng*

CAOBAO: "SUNJIAN! COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE!"

SUNJIAN: "What's the problem!?!"

CAOBAO: "Your methods for killing Liu Feng were insensative and ignorant! I intend to call the ACLU and have you su....."

*The spear of sunjian pierces the heart of caobao*

SUNJIAN: "If you're gonna fight, fight; dont talk."

sunjian kills cao bao

UPDATE!

WEI
Cao Ang
Cao Hong
Cao Shuang
Dian Wei +2
Pang De
Sima Shi +1
Sima Zhao
Xiahou Yuan
Xiahou Xuan
Xiahou Wei
Xiahou Shang
Xiahou Huo
Zhen Ji +1


WU

Sun Jian +12
Lu Meng
Lu Xun +2
Xiao Qiao +7
Da Qiao

Zhou Yu +1
Huangfu Song
Ling Tong
Sun Luban
Sun Shao
Sun Shi
Sun Zhong
Sun Kuang
Sun Jiao
Zhu Rong

SHU
Ma Chao +1
Jiang Wei +5
Wei Yan +1
Xing Cai +1
Yue Ying
Guan Suo
Jinhuansanjie
Liu Dai
Ma Dai

Dong Zhuo/Yellow Turban Alliance

Diao Chan +4
Hua Man
Cai Zhong
Gongsun Fan
Gongsun Du
He Jin
Gongsun Yuan
Lü Kuang

Killed: The killed list has been killed by gamespot auto-censoring. Very sorry.

-Zhu rong passes by He jin-

He jin:ooooh what a turn on!!!

Zhu rong:haha

He Jin:Oh, sorry not you i was talking about that other woman over there -points-

Zhu rong:-.-

-zhu rong slaps He jin-

-he jin is hurt-

Ling Tong sees yue ying and Da Qiao talking amongst themselves

Ling Tong: So ladies whats happening?

Yue Ying And Da Qiao: Which one of us do you think is more beautiful?

Ling Tong: Actually i think i am the most beautiful

Yue Ying And Da Qiao are now enraged

Yue Ying And Da Qiao: YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT

in the frenzy of battle Yue Ying And Da Qiao are blinded by Ling Tongs pretty boy looks and ling tong kills them

Yue Ying And Da Qiao have been killed by Ling Tongs Pretty Boy Looks

Lu Xun are having a disccussion about their weapons when they go off-topic strangely....

Ma Chao:I have the sword of justice!

Lu Xun:That's a broadsword....

ma Choa:Damn it Koei

Lu Xun:Who's koei?

Ma Chao:Koei is our creators

Lu XUn:They created us.....but my mom and dad created me

Ma Choa:and Koei created you're mom and dad

Lu XUn:Wait isnt that god

Ma Chao:Thats right

Lu Xun:So whats koei

Ma Choa: i said it god

Lu Xun:So koei is god?

Ma CHao:YEs

Lu XUn:then whos jesus

Ma CHoa:GOd's son

Lu Xun:SO if hes god son then how is it koei is god

Ma CHao:....you confused me now i shall kill you

Ma Chao charges at Lu XUn and Lu Xun gets out of the way and Ma Chao slammed into the wall.

Lu Xun has hurt Ma Chao

Lu XUn finishes him by stabbing him in the back.

Lu Xun has killed Ma Chao

to squall: ruthless

tojeffhardy: NO! not ma chao! oh well, I never tried to save him.

Sun Jian has summoned Xiao Qiao back to his throne room. Xiao Qiao: Lord Sun Jian you have summoned me again, this is such an honor. Sun Jian: I have heard of what you have done and i am impressed. Xiao Qiao: Well you know im just doing my job. Sun Jian: I know you are and I...... AAAAHHH. Xiao Qiao slices of Sun Jians nose.

Xiao Qiao has hurt Sun Jian.

Sun Jian: You insolent wench you dare betray me. Xiao Qiao: Yes as a matter of fact I do. This time she slices of his left ear.

Xiao Qiao has hurt Sun Jian.

Sun Jian has summoned Xiao Qiao back to his throne room. Xiao Qiao: Lord Sun Jian you have summoned me again, this is such an honor. Sun Jian: I have heard of what you have done and i am impressed. Xiao Qiao: Well you know im just doing my job. Sun Jian: I know you are and I...... AAAAHHH. Xiao Qiao slices of Sun Jians nose.

Xiao Qiao has hurt Sun Jian.

Sun Jian: You insolent wench you dare betray me. Xiao Qiao: Yes as a matter of fact I do. This time she slices of his left ear.

Xiao Qiao has hurt Sun Jian.

bug_trevor

meanwhile while this is happening ling tong is walking past the room when he sees Xiao Qiao slice at sun jian

Ling Tong: Oh no you didn't!

Ling Tong charges towards her while she is distracted and slices her nose off

Ling Tong: Now you look like Michael Jackson

Xiao Qiao: nooooooooooooooo

Xiao Qiao then turns emo and cuts herself and starts crying

Ling Tong Has hurt Xiao Qiao X2

[QUOTE="bug_trevor"]

Sun Jian has summoned Xiao Qiao back to his throne room. Xiao Qiao: Lord Sun Jian you have summoned me again, this is such an honor. Sun Jian: I have heard of what you have done and i am impressed. Xiao Qiao: Well you know im just doing my job. Sun Jian: I know you are and I...... AAAAHHH. Xiao Qiao slices of Sun Jians nose.

Xiao Qiao has hurt Sun Jian.

Sun Jian: You insolent wench you dare betray me. Xiao Qiao: Yes as a matter of fact I do. This time she slices of his left ear.

Xiao Qiao has hurt Sun Jian.

Squall_2

meanwhile while this is happening ling tong is walking past the room when he sees Xiao Qiao slice at sun jian

Ling Tong: Oh no you didn't!

Ling Tong charges towards her while she is distracted and slices her nose off

Ling Tong: Now you look like Michael Jackson

Xiao Qiao: nooooooooooooooo

Xiao Qiao then turns emo and cuts herself and starts crying

Ling Tong Has hurt Xiao Qiao X2

As this part happens Zhou Yu just happens to walk by while Ling Tong slices off Xiao's nose.

Zhou Yu: OH I KNOW YOU DID NOT JUST SLICE OFF MY BELOVED'S NOSE!!!!! YOU SHALL PAY FOR THAT!!!!!!!

Zhou Yu charges Ling Tong and Ling Tong throws his Nunchaku at Zhou Yu but Zhou Yu deflects it back into Ling Tong's face.

Ling Tong: OWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!

As Ling Tong is screaming in pain Zhou Yu makes a bold statement.

Zhou Yu: You shall speak of my blade in the afterlife.

Zhou Yu slices of Ling Tong's right and then starts laughing his head off and says, Zhou Yu: Now you look like a guy with Leporsy.

Zhou Yu has hurt Ling Tong X2

Lu Xun, Sun Hao, and Lu MEng are talking of the violence in the hall of Sun Jian whenZHou Yu comes into the room and asks what they are talkign about

Lu Xun replied they were talkign about Micheal Jackson and he apprears from nowhere

Micheal jackson:So how's it going any children around

Zhou Yu: They were talking about how much violence im making

:Well you should be excecuted for violence

Micheal Jackson suddenly starts dancing and he accidently kicked Zhou Yu in the gut.

Zhou Yu is hurt by...micheal jackson

Lu Xun then sees Zhou Yu on the floor and stabs Zhou Yu

Lu XUn has killed Zhou Yu

zhou Yu isnt dead because he has lifes from attacking the qiao.

and michael jackson's point is being attrituded to the qiao.

The Qiao is sitting among the rest of the Wu concubines, reading the newspaper and sipping her morning cup of tea.

Qiao: "Oh my goodness, I really need to get to the bathroom.

*She runs to the lavatory but doesn't quite make it*

*Qiao craps her skirt*

*SunJian laughs as he realizes the prank was successful*

SUNJIAN hurts The Diao

Adding injury to insult, sunjian has ordered the all the bathroom tissue removed.

sunjian hurts the qiao

UPDATE!

WEI
Cao Ang
Cao Hong
Cao Shuang
Dian Wei +2
Pang De
Sima Shi +1
Sima Zhao
Xiahou Yuan
Xiahou Xuan
Xiahou Wei
Xiahou Shang
Xiahou Huo
Zhen Ji +1


WU

Sun Jian +12
Lu Meng
Lu Xun +5
Xiao Qiao +6
Zhou Yu +1

Huangfu Song

Make sure you guys are doing things to actually hurt them.

example of bad:

ling tong staps lu xun

ling tong hurts lu xun X2

example of acceptable:

ling tong stabs lu xun

ling tong hurts lu xun

.....blablabla.....

ling tong pushes lu xun off a cliff

ling tong hurts lu xun.

point is that one stab cant hurt twise. not that yall are doing that but it looks like it might be sliding in that direction.

Zhou Yu: Time to continue our fight Ling Tong. Ling Tong: Les do this

Zhou Yu throws Michael Jackson at Ling Tong whom is violentlly raped by Michael Jackson.

Zhou Yu has hurt Ling Tong.

Zhou Yu then throws his elder sword at Ling Tong which lands in his head.

Zhou Yu has killed Ling Tong.

Lu Xun compliments Micheal Jackson and asks him to join Wu

Lu Xun:What are you doing?

Micheal Jackson:YOu've been hit by, you've been struck by a smooth criminal

Lu XUn:What are you doing?

Micheal Jackson: Singing my song Smooth Criminal, dont you listen to my songs?

Lu Xun:I listen to Sean Paul

Sean Paul:Moshe mu si kai

Lu XUn:Im sorry?

lu meng comes up and asks what is all these singer doing here Micheal Jackson, Sean Paul, 50 cent

lu Xun suddenly asks where Micheal Jackson went and Lu MEng said he got bored and left

Angry Lu Xun just stabs Lu Meng in the chest

Lu XUn has killed Lu Meng

Lu Xun:I will hutn you down Zhou Yu!

50 cent:I was shot 9 times

Lu XUn:I dont care!!!!!

Sun Jian and Zhou Yu are talkign about being bodygaurded by Lu Xun and Zhou Yu thanks Sun Jian and secretly calls him old man

Sun Jian: what did you call me you little girl

Zhou Yu:Since when have I looked like a little girl

Sun Jian: Since dynasty warriors 2 I think...i was drunk in dynasty warriors 2 either 2 or 3

Zhou Yu:How can i be a little girl im taller than you

Sun Jian: Oh sorry

As Zhou Yu turns to leave Sun Jian rembered that Zhou Yu called him and old man and he threw his helmet at the back of Zhou Yu's head.

Sun Jian has hurt ZHou Yu

Lu XUn is heading of for a face of agains Zhou Yu and for soem reason many singers are followign Lu XUn

Lu Xun:What do you guys want?

Sean Paul;Iso mi colate

Lu Xun:...

Steven Tyler:he said that all us singers have you're back

50 cent:Thats right dude i got shot nine times

Lu Xun:50 cent that happened a long time ago dude its old news!

Zhou Yu coems out of nowhere and missed Lu Xun and hit Sean Pauls mouth instead but he didnt get hurt...

Sean Pual: I could speak!

Lu Xun then rushes at Zhou Yu and kicks him in the throat taking out all the air out of Zhou Yu

Lu xun killed Zhou Yu

Xiao Qiao is looking for a fight and comes across Lu Xun and remembers the Lu Xun killed Zhou Yu.

Xiao Qiao: How dare you kill my husband!!! You will pay!

Xiao Qiao takes Lu Xun's swords and stabs him in the right arm with one and the left with the other.

Xiao Qiao has hurt Lu Xun X2

UPDATE!

WEI
Cao Ang
Cao Hong
Cao Shuang
Dian Wei +2
Pang De
Sima Shi +1
Sima Zhao
Xiahou Yuan
Xiahou Xuan
Xiahou Wei
Xiahou Shang
Xiahou Huo
Zhen Ji +1


WU

Sun Jian +13
Lu Xun +5
Xiao Qiao +8
Zhou Yu +1

Huangfu Song

You guys are having a hard time knowing who is killed and who is just hurt.

If Ling Tong's name is up there, he will be KILLED if attacked.

If Ling Tong +1 is up there, he must be HURT, then killed. The number is how many extra lives the guy has.

Also try to look at the other posts between updates so you're not proclaiming someone's death and them not actually die.

Lu Xun:For soem reason you attacked me!

Xiao Qiao: because he was my husband and I loved him

Lu Xun:You did know he was having an affair with Xing Cai....

Xiao Qiao:I'll kill her

When Xiao Qiao finds Xing Cai Xiao corners her to a wall and when shes going to attack Xing Cai kicks her in the mouth.

Xiao Qiao is hurt.

Then Xiao Qiao manages to smack her with her fan.

Xing Cai is also hurt