HURT/HEAL: Instant Death Returns!

rules reminder:

-Only two actions per day.

-You gain life's by hurting the opponent.

-put "soandso hurts soandsuch" or "soandso kills soandsuch" at the end of each action post.

Lu Xun is getting tired of this fighting and decides to go to a masage parlor. he goes in the room and a masked lady tells him to lie down. he does and someone enters and says hes a bodygaurd. Then the masked lady turns out to be Xiao Qiao with SUn Jiao attempting to kill him. lu Xun grabs the towel he was goign to relax on and puts water on it making it harder to hit. he Hits the wet towel in Sun Jiao's throat.

Lu XUn has killed Sun Jiao

Lu Xun then uses the wet towel and hits Xiao Qiao's nose

Lu XUn has hurt XIao QIao

Sun Jian is quietly stalking Xiao Qiao when Zhou Yu walks up behind him.

Zhou Yu: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Sun Jian: Stalking your wife.

Zhou Yu: YOU SHALL PAY!!!!!!

Zhou Yu stabs at Sun Jian and misses so Sun Jian grabs his arm and breaks it.

Sun Jian has hurt Zhou Yu.

Now Sun Jian pulls a Kill Bill and uses the same thing that the girl used to kill Bill, and kills Zhou Yu.

Sun Jian has killed Zhou Yu.

Sun Jian, having killed Zhou Yu no longer has a true strategist, so he calls Lu Xun into his throne room.

(this is still on Mt.Doom)

Lu Xun: Why have you called me here my lord?

Sun Jian: Congratulations Lu Xun, you are the official strategist of Wu.

Lu Xun: Thank you my lord.

Sun Jian: Now I need you to.........AAAAAAHHHHH.

Sun Jian has been hit in the head by Zhen Ji

Zhen Ji has hurt Sun Jian

Lu Xun: You wench, you dare hit my lord!

Lu Xun takes Zhen Ji's flute and shoves it up her butt.

Lu Xun has hurt Zhen Ji.

Zhen Ji is to a doctor to remove the flute when Wei Yan says

wei Yan:mu...haha...haha ... im...no...doctor...im here to kill you from

Zhen Ji:Wait.... you just talked normally

Wei Yan:Omg i can't belive it i cant talk

Zhen Ji Well thats to bad cause you wont enjoy the voice after I kill you

Zhen Ji is going to hit ihim with his whip then Wei Yan kicked her in the face ending her Butt misery

Wei Yan has killed Zhen Ji

Jiang Wei: Now that I have rid the world of the Xiahou and Cao family lines, I can concentrate on some of the strayers.

Gongsun Fan: You shall do no such thing. Jiang Wei, you have become an animal and killing massive amounts of officers is not the answer to becoming the best and if you cannot see that then I shall have to stop you.

Jiang Wei: You have a point Gongsun Fan, but you are forgetting one simple fact.

Gongsun Fan: What is that pray tell?

Jiang Wei: If you are in my way to domination, you shall be facing the entire Shu army which I command now and if that is true then you are trying to stop path of virtue like lord Liu Bei wanted.

Gongsun Fan: Lord Liu Bei was a fool and if you follow him then you are just as psychotic as he was.

Jiang Wei: Maybe so.

Jiang Wei pierces Gongsun Fan through the jaw into his brain.

Jiang Wei: Or maybe I AM just a psychotic animal with a thirst for death.

Jiang Wei notices Gongsun Yuan arrives and sees Gongsun Fan fall to the floor.

Jiang Wei picks up Gongsun Fan's sword and hurls it and Gongsun Yuan, thrusting the sword into his stomach causing him to bleed to death.

Jiang Wei psychotically laughs as his eyes turn red as blood.

Jiang Wei has killed Gongsun Yuan and Gongsun Fan

Does anybody think my stories are pretty detailed and graphic?

Sun Jian is stalking Diao Chan then he sees his oppurtunity and jumps at her and violently rapes her.

Sun Jian has hurt Diao Chan.

Sun Jian then takes her maces and hits her in the butt with them.

Sun Jian has hurt Diao Chan.

yes ur accounts are graphic and indepth

definitly a good thing makes it more interesting

Sun Shi is walking down the hallway of her and Lu Xun's house when she walks in on Lu Xun having sex with Diao Chan.

Sun Shi: What are you doing Lu Xun, you are my husband not hers?

Lu Xun: Sun Shi I uhhhhhhh...

Sun Shi: No. Do not answer that question you, you lecher!

Lu Xun: O no you did not just call me a lecher!!!

Lu Xun throws his armor at Sun Shi and it smashes her nose into her brain.

Lu Xun has killed Sun Shi.

Lu Xun having just killed his wife still has anger and now violently rapes Diao Chan.

Lu Xun has hurt Diao Chan.

O and this is my 90th post.

Gongsun Du heard rumor of his family's death and comes after Jiang Wei.

Jiang Wei: I knew after hearing your famiy's death, you would come Gongsun Du. You strayers are insects, travel in packs and when one gets killed, the others come back to seek revenge, only to get squashed as well.

Gongsun Du: You dare call me an insect you insolent vermin!!?

Jiang Wei: Please!? You shouldn't say things you cannot spell, it makes you more incompetent.

Gongsun Du: You ignorant fool! I shall show you!

Gongsun Du charges towards Jiang Wei. Jiang Wei gets into his fighting stance and waits for Gongsun Du. Jiang Wei drops his trident onto the floor and dodges Gongsun Du's attack, grabs him by the neck slams him to the ground and breaks his neck all with one hand.

Jiang Wei killed Gongsun Du.

Lu Kuang: I shall stand up for my friend and teammate. You shall pay.

Jiang Wei: THERE WILL BE NO SURVIVORS!!

Jiang Wei picks up his trident and quickly approaches Lu Kuang and thrusts his trident into his crotch, through his body and out his head. He then pulls his trident upwards out of his head so the organs slide out the bottom of his body.

Jiang Wei killed Lu Kuang

a council of the best warriors with the most kills arehaving a council which have Sun Jian, Lu XUn, Xiao Qiao, Zhen Ji, Dian Chan and for some reason Lui Dai.

Sun Jian:Hello i have called this meeting

Lu Xun:Ya and Resident Evil will feature

Sun Jian:I have called this meeting

Lu Xun:Wil feature Co-op story

Sun Jian:umm ive called this meeting

Lu Xun:it will be the best

Sun Jian:Shut up Lu XUn

lu Xun:....

Sun Jian;Thank you, well i called you all to stop the killing of Jiang Wei

Zhen Ji and Dian Chan say in union: Sun Jian we dont want to be you're concubian we want to be lui Dai's concubines

Sun Jian stabs Lui Dai

Sun Jian has killed Lui Dai

Lu Xun takes Zhen Ji's flute and shoves it up her butt.

bug_trevor

:lol: funny. I rule against this "hurt" in light of the fact that Zhen Ji actually likes it when things get shoved up her ass; she cant get enough of it. So I'm not counting this as a "hurt" so she is still alive. Funny post though.

Zhen Ji and Dian Chan say in union: Sun Jian we dont want to be you're concubian we want to be lui Dai's concubines

Sun Jian stabs Lui Dai

Sun Jian has killed Lui Dai

jeffhardy141

lol

... And what's with all the violent rape! :lol: It def isnt safe being a woman in 3rd Century China. If Harpey's unit ever arrives and sees this she will kick all asses.

UPDATE!

WEI
Dian Wei +2
Sima Shi +1
Sima Zhao

Zhen Ji


WU

Sun Jian +21
Lu Xun +14
Xiao Qiao +4

Huangfu Song

[QUOTE="bug_trevor"]

Lu Xun takes Zhen Ji's flute and shoves it up her butt.

harden007

:lol: funny. I rule against this "hurt" in light of the fact that Zhen Ji actually likes it when things get shoved up her ass; she cant get enough of it. So I'm not counting this as a "hurt" so she is still alive. Funny post though.

t

Zhen Ji and Dian Chan say in union: Sun Jian we dont want to be you're concubian we want to be lui Dai's concubines

Sun Jian stabs Lui Dai

Sun Jian has killed Lui Dai

jeffhardy141

lol

... And what's with all the violent rape! :lol: It def isnt safe being a woman in 3rd Century China. If Harpey's unit ever arrives and sees this she will kick all asses.

Lu Xun is now aiming for Wei. First he sees Zhen Ji and decides that she will be his next victim. So for this death he decides that he is going to take a bow and arrow and shoots her with 2002 arrows.

Lu Xun has killed Zhen Ji.

Lu Xun now sets his sights on Sima Zhao. This time he stuffs 100 tons of explosives down Sima Zhao's throat and then lights the fuse hanging out his mouth and runs to get out of the blast radius.

Lu Xun has killed Sima Zhao.

Lu Xun, having finished with Zhen Ji and Sima Zhao, now sets his sights on Guan Suo and Jinhuan Sanjie.

First he comes across Guan Suo and kills him by taking his head right off his body.

Lu Xun has killed Guan Suo.

Now he finds Jinhuan Sanjie and decides that his death will be slow and painful. So to cause the death he wants he slices off Jinhuan's balls and Jinhuan bleeds to death.

Lu Xun has killed Jinhuan Sanjie.

Ling Tong and Huangfu Song have noticed that there is a person standing on top of a mountain in the distance. Feeling trivial about it, they both decide to walk to the bottom of the mountain to see who if is. They cannot see the mysterious character so they climb up the mountain wondering who this character is.

Jiang Wei is watches the two from the top of the mountain and decides to scale down the mountain with great speed towards the unsuspecting warriors. The two keep climbing the mountain wondering how far they should go up to see who it is. Jiang Wei reaches the two and intentionally passes them. They feel a mighty gust hit them and turn to see who it was. Jiang Wei was standing in between a tree and the mountain itself smiling and giving and evil laughter.

Ling Tong wonders why Jiang Wei has come onto their territory but more importantly, why he is smiling. Huangfu Song hears a loud upcoming approaching them and turns to see what it was. It was an avalanche coming their way. Jiang Wei quickly jumps on the tree consistently until the tree breaks and he slides down the rest of the mountain on this tree.

Huangfu Song and Ling Tong weren't as fortunate. The avalanche pushed the two down the mountain hittng many trees. Ling Tong got his back broken over one of the trees and Huangfu Song had his legs broken by being dragged in between the massive amount of snow and the jagged rocks under him.

After the avalanche was over the two amazingly were surfaced above the snow but could not move because of their broken body parts. Jiang Wei sought out to find their bodies and was glad to see they made it out alive and even more happy that they couldn't move.

Huangfu Song: You are a monster!! We never did anything to you.

Ling Tong: You have no conscious.

Jiang Wei: Maybe I don't but I am not a monster.

Jiang Wei stabs both through the neck and cuts their heads off and lays them at the foot of the mountain facing their territory.

Jiang Wei: I prefer to call myself a deathbringer and this is my artistry of death.

Jiang Wei laughs long and hard over their heads.

Lu Xun, having finished with the Shu scum that he targeted, now sets his sights on Sima Shi.

Inviting Sima Shi to his house in Wu, Lu Xun begins by saying,

Lu Xun: Welcome to my humble aboad Sima Shi.

Sima Shi: Thank you for inviting me. I am interested as to why though.

Lu Xun: I am thanking you for killing your father. You have done Wu a great service.

Sima Shi: Ummmm... Thanks... But aren't we enemy's?

Lu Xun: Yes. So now that I have thanked you, i can kill you.

Lu Xun takes his twin sabers and stabs Sima Shi in the leg.

Lu Xun has hurt Sima Shi.

Lu Xun then cuts Sima Shi's Phemoral Artery.

Lu Xun has killed Sima Shi.

Sun Zhong and Sun Kuang hear loud laughter coming from above their territory so they decide to take a look and see who is making that racket.

Jiang Wei has set fire to the small territory the two are looking over. Before they had realized it, Jiang Wei had set fire around the entire perimeter of the territory. They were surrounded by the flames and they saw Jiang Wei jump over the flames and crash down on top of them. He stabbed both of them in the legs to incapacitate them and left them to burn. Jiang Wei jumps back over the flames and listens to their agonizing screams.

Jiang Wei killed Sun Zhong and Sun Kuang

Lu Xun having killed Sima Shi now again sets his sight on the beautiful Diao Chan.

Lu Xun once again violently rapes Diao Chan.

Lu Xun has hurt Diao Chan.

Then Lu Xun slices her stomach open and she bleeds to death.

Lu Xun has killed Diao Chan.

Sun Shao and and Cai Zhong witnessed the burning of Sun Zhong and Sun Kuang and come to pursue Jiang Wei.

Sun Shao: You shall pay dearly for this, Jiang Wei!

Cai Zhong: We shall stop your reign of chaos you beast!

Jiang Wei doesn't answer either one of their threats and slowly turns and walks away.

Sun Shao: You are a coward!! Come back and face us.

Cai Zhong: You are turning back now on us, after your attacks on over 20 officers?

Jiang Wei still walks.

Sun Shao and Cai Zhong chase after him and when they catch up to him they laugh at him and mock him and as they are laughing to each other, Jiang Wei turns around and grabs them by the necks and smashes their heads together over and over until their skulls are crushed.

Jiang Wei killed Sun Shao and Cai Zhong.

The Other forces are destroyed

Lu Xun having killed Sima Shi now again sets his sight on the beautiful Diao Chan.

Lu Xun once again violently rapes Diao Chan.

Lu Xun has hurt Diao Chan.

Then Lu Xun slices her stomach open and she bleeds to death.

Lu Xun has killed Diao Chan.

bug_trevor

Zhu Rong: "I can rape too, YAY!"

*Zhu Rong rapes Wei Yan with a broom handle*

ZHURONG hurts WEIYAN

WEIYAN: "UGH! THE SHAME AND HUMILIATION!"

*ZhuRong hand him her boomerang and he tries to commit seppuku*

ZHURONG hurts WEIYAN

UPDATE!

WEI
Dian Wei +2


WU

Sun Jian +21
Lu Xun +22
Xiao Qiao +4

Wei Yan:Lu Xun.... I....need....help

lu Xun:For what

Wei Yan:Im....about.....to....die

Lu Xun:Umm may I ask you why i should care

Wei Yan:.......

Lu Xun: I thought so

Lu XUn grabs a nearby vase and smashes it over Wei Yan's head.

Lu XUn has killed Wei Yan

Sun Jian and Lu Xun are talking when Dian Wei attempts to sneak up on them but Lu Xun hears him and turns around stabs Dian Wei in the hand causing him to drop his axe.

Lu Xun has hurt Dian Wei.

Now Sun Jian realizes what happened so he finds his sword and slices off Dian Wei's right hand.

Sun Jian has hurt Dian Wei.

Dian Wei's blood is all over the place and Jiang Wei, Sun Jia, Lu xun, and Xiao Qiao all smell the blood and rush forward.

Sun Jian sees Dian Wei and he throws his helmet but Jiang Wei gets in the way

Sun Jian has hurt Jiang Wei

Lu Xun and Xiao Qiao try to get him but Xiao Qiao sees a butterfly and is distracted and Lu Xun throws his sword at his head killing Dian Wei

Lu Xun has killed Dian Wei

Sun Jian, Jiang Wei, Lu Xun, and Xiao Qiao keep looking at each other nervously and flinched every time someone moved.

Lu Xun:Would you like a cup of tea Jiang Wei

Jiang Wei: I don't want to die!!!

XIao Qiao:So what do you all want to do

Sun Jian:I would want you to hurt you're self...

Xiao Qiao:Nice try

Sun Jian then sneezes and his helmet accidently hits Jiang Wei

Sun Jian has hurt Jiang Wei

Sun Jian is horified what he did and Xiao Qiao attempts to leave but trips over Lu Xu's leg. she falls on top of the cats tail and the cat jumped on top of a table knocking over a vase, which the glass hit a nearby lamps fire, which the lamps fire sparked onto a bomb and Jiang Wei was in the range of the explosion.

Xiao Qiao hurt Jiang Wei... or is the cause

Zhu Rong was walkign down the road happy she wasnt with Lu Xun, Jiang Wei, Lu Xun, and Xiao Qiao accidently runs into Jiang Wei who is full of dust and ash from the explosion and Zhu Rong accidently sneezes on Sun Jian.

Zhu Rong has hurt Sun Jian (giving him germs which weakens his heath)

Sun Jian:I'll kill you

Sun Jian takes of his helmet to poke Zhu Rong with his spiky hair but misses and hits Lu Xun instead

Sun Jian has hurt Lu XUn

Jiang Wei seeks upon revenge for the clumsy Xiao Qiao and sees her walking along the road and takes some of the ash off his shoulder and throws it in her face.

Jiang Wei has hurt Xiao Qiao

Jiang Wei: I don't like to hurt ladies so I will walk away now and leave you there to wallow.

Xiao Qiao feeling relieved that he left, rests upon the road. Suddnely Jiang Wei comes barreling through on a horse not realizing she is lying in the middle of the road, runs over her crushing her pelvis and one of her legs.

Jiang Wei has hurt Xiao Qiao

Thats not gainst the rulesjeffhardy141

it is, only two actions per day. You did 4.

UPDATE!

WU

Sun Jian +24
Lu Xun +25
Xiao Qiao +3

Zhu Rong+3

SHU
Jiang Wei +22

If you guys want to end it here and say that Wu wins but Jiang Wei keeps Cheng Du then we can just end it here.

Or we can fight to the death and someone is liable to get pissed off.

It's up to you guys.

Well its gone one for a while i vote Wu wins but Jiang Wei keeps Cheng DU

I agree