Alrighty, to be honest I'm not much of a gamer- I'm also lazy and so stopped reading after about the first 10-15 posts. On the encouragement of boyfriend who posts here regularly (and who I think is rather proud), I figured I'd drop in my two cents since I think this whole thing is rather ludacrous.
As a gal having read several posts proclaiming what we "do" and "don't" "like", I figured I'd let y'all know.
Yes, we like to be appreciated- however, personally, I'd laugh until my lungs burst if I was given a teddy bear as a means of "cutting it". Though this may also be why I'm happily dating a gamer. While it would be very unsafe of me to speak for every member of my gender (as most of them are rather difficult- as is examplified in these lengthy posts), I can speak from what I know of relationships in general.
A relationship is hardly a relation if both sides are feeling alienated- sorry if this starts to get too analytical. On the one hand you have a pissy woman who clearly doesn't appreciate the value of colourful objects moving (call me simple, but I can watch any game for hours). Not to paint an ugly picture of this girl- I'm sure she has interests of her own, pleasures of her own which fulfill, entertain and stimulate her- which you didn't mention. However, they clearly don't correlate with what you find fulfilling, entertaining and stimulating. On the one hand, it's obsessive to be fantasizing about a game while romantic sparks are flying, but seriously, whose mind hasn't wandered a little- who knows what she was thinking about? And that's not a bad thing, and it's certainly nothing to be ashamed about.
The one good thing you mentioned about her is her fitness. Physical fitness is nice, but she's clearly not keeping you fit, as she has shamed you out of what you find pleasurable in life. It's our eccentricities that keep us going, not mild sexual attractions. I would never ask my boyfriend to give up his 360- and I'll spare the gushiness because it's not a matter of "if you love her" or "if she loves you", and it even surpasses respect into the realm of health. Physical attraction may spark a relationship, but compatability is what keeps it going. Sharing your life with another is precisely that- and you mentioned that you attempted sharing that experience with her. I may not partake in every game my boyfriend plays, however, I don't shy away from them completely, and I certainly don't put them down.
This is not to say that you aren't in a bit of trouble. No addiction is a good addiction, and moderation can be applied to any facet of life. However, I'd recommend finding that moderation on your own, as you've lead us all to believe that she's not willing to guide you or help you there. To demand you cut yourself off from gaming is simply jumping to the other extreme. However, like I said, I don't know her. And this is where we get to what women want. A woman (not a girl, a woman), doesn't want a "thing", it's far more simple than that, though it seems to be more complicated for most of you. Try this: ask her what she wants, ask her what she wants to talk about, what she wants to do, where she wants to go- and most importantly, what she needs. We all need the same things (no, not control- unless you're psycho), and that's simply to feel appreciated. And sorry fellas, the occaisional gift will only cut it for so long. Personally gifts mean very little to me, however, a good conversation is worth gold. This will also help you decide for yourself what you should do- get to know who she really is, what she likes (other than not gaming) and dislikes (other than gaming) and try out some of those things with her, because it seems to me that she's not the only one closing off her world.
(oof! sorry for the long post :shock: )
Jess-s
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