[video=cnczlGDw5b0Ivjbe]

zgreenwell writes: I've recently paid off all my credit card debt and have some money to spare. I want to invest some money. Although I love the idea of being a day trader and speculating changes in the market, I hate the idea of losing money. I'm fairly young and have enough time to sit on any investment. I was wondering what I should do. I've never invested in anything other than a saving account before. Should I buy stocks and hold them? If I do what do I buy?

I've started an E*Trade account and have $1000 in it. Right now its just sitting there because I'm not sure what to do with it.

First and foremost a hearty congratulations on paying off your credit card debt. With the possible exception of a mortgage, paying off debt - and avoiding debt - is one of the best investments anyone can make.

But what to do with your new found savings? The first thing I would recommend is that you open a Roth IRA and put in as much of the annual limit (currently $5,000) as you can afford every year. A Roth IRA is a tax-advantaged retirement savings account. You put after-tax money in and it grows tax-deferred until retirement. There are many cases where you can withdraw early without penalty, such as buying a home and for college tuition; check the link above with the IRS to see more of the qualifying situations. The securities recommendations I will make are largely the same, but the type of account is important because one is tax-free and the other taxable, so you would be reporting taxable income every year on the mutual funds when you file, and that would cut into your returns.

Generally the least expensive, least risky, and most accessible way for the average man to dip his or her toes into investment markets is using a mutual fund. Mutual funds offer a relatively inexpensive method of buying into an already diversified portfolio, reducing your overall risk but allowing for market participation. As far as which fund to invest in, you have a relatively small investment at $1,000 (at least it is considered so by equity market standards). It also sounds like you have very little investment experience, and are relatively young, say in your late twenties or early thirties. Have you already maxed out your 401(k) match? Be sure that you are if one is available to you.

Given this criteria, I would suggest one of two funds. The most appropriate would be a target-date fund for a date matching your retirement, like the Principal Inv LifeTime 2050 Sel (PTESX) or ING Solution 2045 S (ISRSX). Both are low cost and have competitive returns, but may or may not be available to you through your broker (E*Trade). Each broker has a separate "Supermarket" of funds available to them. Just like the regular supermarket, sometimes they will or will not carry the brand you want, and sometimes a generic brand is just as good. You may need to look for an alternative share cIass or fund.

The other type of fund I might suggest would be a conservative allocation fund like Franklin Income (IF you can get a load-waived version) or Permanent Portfolio (PRPFX). If the idea of you investment dropping to $800 in a week makes the pit of your stomach drop out, you may want to take on less risk, hence the "conservative." They are good way for savings bond investors to get acclimated to the peaks and dips of the equity and fixed income markets without losing their shirt.

A brief aside regarding the "load-waived" comment: never pay a load. You are basically losing 5% or more of your investment up front when you do so, and paying your broker a commission on an ongoing basis.

Remember, market investments are not guaranteed and may lose value. Then again, money in the bank or mattress is guaranteed to lose value against inflation!

Good luck!

Taken from a sample of the board games played by Bozanimal on a regular basis. Many board games excluded due to lack or funding or opponents. Of course, that will change as his triplets age.

10 - Kill Dr. Lucky - Dr. Lucky was created by Cheapass games, who certainly live up to their moniker. The game is very inexpensive at $7.50, comprised entirely of paper with a couple wooden and plastic pawns to denote the player. You run all over the mansion (think Clue), trying to kill Dr. Lucky by being in a room with the old man when out of line-of-sight with other players. The best part of the game is the colorful commentary for failing to kill him, such as the floor squeaking or a flash and a puff of smoke. A sequel called, "Save Dr. Lucky" lacks some of the atmosphere and original gameplay, and there is a board game version now available for $35, but the original is still the best version.

9 - Fluxx - All the rules for this game are printed on the cards; draw one, play one. The game gets tricky, however, as the rules get more complicated. Draw five and play two, hand limits, and a changing goal make it a great game for a lazy afternoon or night of drinking. Just keeping track of what you need to get done each turn is a challenge in and of itself, and you will find yourself laughing at how absurd the rule combinations can become. An excellent casual game with a play time of five to fifteen minutes per round.

8 - Hoopla - Cranium games tend to all be derivatives of each other. Hoopla, however, scales well from one to eight players. Instead of playing against each other, the group plays against the clock. Your job is to guess what is on the card of the player whose turn it is through one of four minigame genres: drawing, acting, "bigger than smaller than," and tongue-tied, in which the player may only use words beginning with the same letter. Everyone must guess all of the cards before the timer runs out. The emphasis on gameplay over competing and low cost (less than $10) make this an easy recommendation.

7 - Rummikub - Each player begins with 14 tiles of random numbers between one and thirteen of four different colors. The goal is to get rid of all your numbers by matching them up with other tiles in sequence or in packs, with sequences required to be of the same color and packs of opposing colors. Once the tiles are in play, they can be rearranged. If it sounds complicated, think of it as a pattern recognition game, and a very good one. This is great for families with between two and four players.

6 - Taboo - As far as party games go, it does not get much better than Taboo. Players break into two teams, with one member of each team given a card with a word on it. They need to get their team to guess the word without saying any of the other five words on the card. Simple, but once the other words get your brain in their frame of mind, it can be tough to think of anything else. Simple, fun, challenging, and works equally well sober as inebriated.

5 - Carcassonne - The first of three "Eurogames" in the top ten, Carcassone is a game of building. The players draw alternating square-shaped tiles whose art fits together. Where the player places their tiles determines how many points they score, and creative tile placement can hinder an opponent while helping the player. Playable by two to five individuals, Carcassonne is more versatile than some of the other party games, and should appeal particularly to gamers who play primarily with one other person. Also available on XBox360.

4 - Puerto Rico - Players are charged with successfully colonizing a certain island in the Caribbean. You score points for sending crops and resources by boat back to the motherland. The problem is that there is only so much room on the ships, and each ship can only carry one type or resource. The odd thing about Puerto Rico is that nothing is random except who goes first. There are no dice or other variations for the rest of the game, yet each game ends up being completely different, strategically speaking. This is one of the best strategy games available, and is highly recommended for two (variant rules available online are quite good) or more players that enjoy games of strategy and cunning.

3 - Scrabble - Has anyone not played Scrabble? Spell words using randomly drawn tiles and existing words on the board. The added bonus is that you get to show off your vocabulary, which is otherwise mocked and chided by your peers. Seriously, who uses words like "bifurcate" in daily conversation? Geeks like the author, for one. Sadly, he takes immense satisfaction bashing opponents with his vernacular as much as dropping a high-point letter on the triple-word score for a 30-point 3-letter word.

2 - Cards - The best part about cards is you can pick up a deck anywhere, they are cheap, and everyone knows at least a couple games. From Crazy Eights to Bridge, there are card games for everyone. Their versatility and universal appeal, not to mention the value of knowing a couple gambling games (for networking and hobnobbing with the boss, not actually making money, of course; wink wink), makes playing cards an easy vote for number two.

1 - Settlers of Catan - A game of luck, skill, and economics, Settlers relies on shrewd and timely trading strategy as much as a roll of the dice. No game is complete without someone getting slighted and refusing to trade with another player. It is an excellent introduction to Eurogames for neophytes and novices alike, and offers equally great fun for the family or a drunken group of like-minded geeks on a weekend. Also available on XBox360.

Honorable Mentions: Magic: The Gathering is a great card game, but is prohibitively expensive for casual play (the wife and author play). Further, to get cards you generally have to venture into the den of the uber-nerd, and nobody wants to get involved in a conversation with that guy. Also good for a lark are Jenga, Pictionary, and Scattergories, the latter being a favorite of the author's wife. Role playing gamers and fans of stories might also enjoy Betrayal at House on the Hill from Avalon Hill. The game is a combination of room discovery and storytelling that makes for some great fun in the right crowd.

For more great game suggestions, visit Board Game Geek.

Why stop at swords? Following are the top weapons ever, as compiled and rationalized completely arbitrarily by the author.

---

Heat-Seeking Bullets - In the 1984 Tom Selleck film Runaway bullets could be calibrated to individual heat signatures. The bullets would go around people and corners to seek out the target, not unlike the cartoon bullets from Who Framed Roger Rabbit (but a bit brighter)? Despite being highly, highly effective, there are two problems that place these bullets at the bottom of the list. First, any physics professor would have a heart attack espousing the problems with actually creating a working model. Second, all the great sniper movies like Enemy at the Gates would be rendered moot, and the author loves sniper films.

Lasers - Has any weapon been so popular as the laser in science fiction? The laser has aged well considering James Bond was outmaneuvering them back in the sixties. Lasers have yet to be turned into a usable weapon despite Val Kilmer's best efforts in the 1980's. However, their pretty colors and popularity at planetariums everywhere for Pink Floyd tributes has us hoping they will someday reach a point where they become economically and physically feasible for warfare. Until then, pass me the stuff, man. Wait, what was I just talking about? Oh, wow man, look at the colors!

The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch - And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three; no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count. Neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." Amen.

Biochemical - Technically, biological and chemical are two separate categories of weaponry. But who cares? They are tremendously effective at devastating the opponents' forces, both physically as well as for morale. Unfortunately, biochemical weapons have a nasty habit of, well, backfiring. A shift in the winds or a misfire, and both you and your enemy have lost the skirmish. Still, very efficient and cheap, making it a top pick for desperate countries faced with an overwhelming opposition.

Portal Gun - Certainly there have been any number of creative weapons in video games. Ice guns, trip beam explosives, shrink rays, flak cannons, the gravity gun, the nailgun and shock beam rifle come to mind. None have been as creatively implemented as the Portal Gun. There is something satisfying about a gun that can be used to both defeat the enemy and get you where you need to go. If it were somehow possible to use in reality, there would be all sorts of special operations missions possible. All you would need is a single Navy Seal and the Portal Gun and you could pretty much depose any hostile government in the world. The best part is that you could do it without making it look like anyone was ever even there. Imagine the headline, "Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, his entire cabinet, and his personal guard were all found dead today, having seemingly leaped to their deaths from the top of the government building."

Prostitutes - You thought women only recently entered the armed services? Diseases killed twice as many soldiers during the Civil War as died from battle. There were more cases of venereal diseases than of measles, mumps and tonsillitis together (Source). One estimate puts it, "one-third of the men who died in Union and Confederate veterans' homes were killed by the late stages of venereal disease (source)." Despite this being probably the best entry for something humorous, I am at a loss.

The Force - The author refers not just to the Force, but to the use of telekinetics of any sort at any time in fiction. When Darth Vader crushes the neck of an officer, it's box-office gold. Unlike some of the other weaponry, like lasers and biochemical weapons, telekinesis would be just as useful outside of combat. Lost your remote control? No reason to buy a new one. Need an extra roll of toilet paper? No problem. Someone about to get struck by a car? No need to put yourself in danger. Move other objects and yourself! Take a flight anywhere you'd like for free (just don't fall asleep). While you're there, try not to get assassinated by evil ninjas from a rogue shadow organization, though.

ICBM (Inter-Continental Ballistic Missile) - The ICBM changed the world overnight. The ability to strike any enemy from any distance practically ensured that nobody would ever attack anyone else, lest they usher in the apocalypse. It's kind of like if you gave every man woman and child worldwide a handgun. Wait a minute...

Atomic - Nuclear weaponry has pure staying power. It is still the most effective, destructive weapon ever created, capable of annihilating our entire species. Take that holy hand grenade! Then again, it's also a bit like trying to dial the telephone while wearing an oven mitt: you can't help but hit every key. Plus, that pesky nuclear fallout and long-term environment damage kind of ruin any plans for invasion because it just kills property values.

Fire - Deadly, useful, and occasionally the avatar of God (Deuteronomy 4:12), fire is the Swiss army knife of weapons. Feared on land, sea, or in the air, capable of leveling cities, and difficult to control, fire is what makes it possible for most of the other weapons to work. It can be as destructive as a nuclear weapon when used tactfully and dispose of the bodies, or cook you dinner and heat your home. Can the Force make me dinner? Yeah, I thought not.

Honorable Mentions
Chainsaw - Chainsaws are always great for a gorefest, but are particularly cool when worn in place of a hand. Remind me again why Mega Man never had a chainsaw option?
Claws (preferably adamantium)
Fists - The ultraportable, undetectable weapon that's always there as a last resort.
Rail Gun - If you've ever seen Eraser, you'll realize that the rail gun is a very cool weapon, but purely for its smoke effect.
M16 rifle with M203 grenade launcher
V-MADS (Vehicle-Mounted Active Denial System) - This is certainly the best thing to ever happen to modern weaponry, though it is still being developed. The 95-GHz energy penetrates 1/64 inch into the skin and produces an intense burning sensation. The technology is an incredibly effective crowd-control system. It also makes for great parties at local fraternities. "Dude, I'll bet you can't stand in the beam for longer than me." "Can to." "Alright, let's do it then." (in unison) "AAAAAAHHHH!"
Shotgun - Otherwise known as the Boomstick
Gravity Gun - Telekinesis, but with a gun. Sorry, but the telekinesis is much cooler, and will always get through airport security.
Swords - Swords seemed really cool until writing the list, then they just seemed kind of quaint.
Death Star - Yes, one of the coolest and most awe-inspiring weapons, for sure, but also incredibly inefficient and, well, impossible. What's that? Something about the list and the Force and the Portal gun? I'm sorry, but I can't understand you when you mumble. Let's move on.

Lifetime achievement award
The Terminator 800 unit is not a weapon specifically, but its ability to learn, ingenuity, and stamina make it one hot piece of hardware. Since it cannot be wielded, it had to be excluded, but it is an awesome piece of machinery.

This entry archived as "Games" after it spent more than a week at the top of the Gamespot User Soapbox.

---

The Mario Kart truck pitched its tent in Boston this week. Working Downtown, I was able to head down to Government Center, where the truck had opened its doors (and tent flap) to the general public.

Mario Kart Wii Promo Truck

It was immediately obvious that Nintendo knew what it was doing. There were plenty of promotional representatives there, each wearing either a Mario or Luigi jumpsuit and hat. They were creating custom driver's licenses for attendees, taking pictures, and helping everyone learn to play the game. If you have ever visited a theme park like Disney World, the reps were of the same sort: super-perky, chipper, friendly, and occasionally getting the crowd to cheer, "Mario Kart!"

Inside the truck

The tents were clean an well-organized, with two fiberglass carts in the glass truck and a standalone station, eight stations in the tent and one more kart, and a slew of flat-screen televisions blaring a Mario Kart Wii trailer. Nintendo reps were everywhere, but in a good way. Imagine walking into a big-box retailer to try a game, and having everything work, clean, organized, and help immediately available.

The staff and license issuance booth

I was able to score a seat without any wait alongside another gentleman who was also blowing off work. Being the middle of the afternoon on a cloudy Thursday, attendance was modest. Nonetheless, once you're at a terminal, it matters not whether there are ten or ten-thousand attendees, the game itself is the same.

And they all worked!

Mario Kart is Double-Dash with more maps, more to unlock, and motion-sensitive controls. Otherwise, the experience was very similar. Great game, enjoyable power-ups, fast-paced action, and a fun crowd. It seems to me that regardless of the fanboy - PS3, XBox360, PC or Nintendo - everyone enjoys picking up a red shell or three in a game of Mario Kart.

Playing Waluigi's Stadium

---

More pictures from the event are located here. The truck will be in New Jersey today and tomorrow.

Thing 1, Thing 2, and Thing 3

World of Warcraft offers adults the opportunity to act like children among like-minded individuals. This theory was proven on a recent weekend as my guild - a user-created group within World of Warcraft - held an event.

The Red Shirts (Scarlet Crusade server) is a casual gaming guild whose mottos include, "Boldly going where we really shouldn't" and "Die with styIe!" While this is a guild of casual players, the people that comprise the membership have many maximum-level characters and play frequently. Still, they are accessible and as happy to explain game basics as they are complicated strategies for end-game bosses. They are also profoundly silly, and the events reflected that silliness.

First Event: Mount Racing at Shimmering Flats
The first event of the three-hour (give or take) meeting was held at the Shimmering Flats, a region of Azeroth (the World of Warcraft world) inspired by the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah, USA. There is a race track there where non-player goblins and gnomes compete in rocket car races. That night, however, there would be guild races, one for regular mounts and another for "Epic" mounts, which are faster.

Standard Mount Race

Epic Mount Race

Second Event: Death Train
After the races everyone took a portal into Stormwind, the capital city of the human race and the Alliance itself. From there the guild leaders organized a train where everyone followed one another using system commands, and marched through the region "tooting" whenever we passed other users (the /Train command in-game). For those that know World of Warcraft, we ran from Stormwind to the Twilight Grove in Darkshire. The new Guild members sacrificed themselves (pointlessly) to Emeriss, the Green Dragon guardian of a portal to the Emerald Dream, and alternate dimension of Azeroth. After we were all killed, we had our guild member status promoted. This is the way of the Red Shirts.

Marching to Our Doom

Sacrifice to the Dragon

Third Event: The Great Nekkid Race
Guild members still awake ran to nearby Stranglethorn Vale to participate in a footrace that ran from the Alliance Camp in the North to the Gurubashi Arena mid-region. Member were allowed to take any path, but were allowed no armor of any kind or speed enhancements. Unfortunately for the author, his character was at a level where nearby enemies would find him strangely attractive, putting him at a handicap.

Streaking in Stranglethorn

Final Event: Drunken Boxing
Late at night in the real world and lower level than his fellow members, Boz did not participate in drunken boxing, though he did enjoy watching as guild members leaped into the arena butt-nekkid to fight while under the (virtual) influence. A good time was had by all, though he missed out on taking any pictures by that time.

---

These pictures and more available here

Step 1 - Select Career

Choosing a career is as much about life philosophy as it is about preparation. If you believe...

...life is about family and friends you are more apt to prioritize a job that allows you to have more free time and fairly standard working hours. You balance lower pay with more personal time.
...you have a responsibility to provide for your family and children you are more apt to look for professional careers that require sacrifice for a higher payout, desk jobs with often intense hours or travel. You will sacrifice personal time for a higher payout.
...you deserve a job that you love you are more willing to sacrifice income to live the life you want. You will take low pay for maximum free time. Think about professional artists that live in loft-styIe apartments and writers that live like hermits in a small cabin in the woods, talking to themselves and growing long beards, and throwing their feces at any trespassers that through their property wander.

There was a time when the author might have said, "Do what makes you happiest," when asked about choosing a career. A few years of experience and Boz now believes this is a pipe-dream for most people, like becoming President or American Idol: possible but highly unlikely. Instead, the author believes most people are best off doing something that they are better at than others. There is an immense satisfaction that comes from working well as much as doing work you love.

If you're good at something, it should do for a promising career. Take to math like a fish to water? Consider a career in engineering or science. Are you an excellent reader and writer? Consider a career in government or law, where writing skills are in high demand. Personable and attractive? Welcome to public relations and marketing, but you'd better be damn good, because marketing is an intensely competitive environment.

Which brings us to the final point of selecting a career: seek what is in demand. It is a fact that you will have an easier time finding an engineering or pharmaceutical position relative to landing a gig for your band or getting your paintings sold, and the payout is exponentially higher. Do what you're good at in a field where there is high demand for employees, and you're more likely to have high career satisfaction (not to mention financial stability).

Step 2 - Career Selected

Education
If you want a desk job, like a corporate career, you need to go to college and get at least a Bachelor's degree. If you want a skilled labor job, like welding or engine repair, you will benefit significantly from trade school. In fact, school is fast becoming a requirement for skilled labor as the technology behind the work on cars and farming becomes increasingly complex. Advanced degrees such as a Master's, however, are not necessarily going to help you in your career path. Generally people will be better off with a specialized degree, just as a medical doctor needs a PhD and a tax adviser needs a CPA (Certified Public Accountant), once decided on their career.

Where do you go to (my lovely)?
People select schools for all kinds of reasons; location, cost, particular programs, and any number of other factors. There is one criteria that never fails to land the best jobs, however: Name. Anyone with Harvard, Princeton, and Oxford on their resume is virtually guaranteed to win a position over someone of equal standing and presentation from an average state or community school. Like it or not, human resources loves to say they have a Harvard graduate working for them, and the name recognition opens doors. If you are going to school to get a great job, name recognition is - sadly - key.

Step 3 - Seal the deal (with an interview)

The heart of a great interview: Have a fantastic and boring resume (insert qualification, delete your breakdancing background), be on-time, wear a plain, dark suit (pantsuit for ladies), shake hands firmly, sit up straight, maintain eye contact, ask questions about the job, do not mention salary, do not give an expected salary, and send a thank you card to each individual you meet. Call back in two weeks even if they tell you not to, and if they reject you, ask why you were rejected and how you could have improved the interview. Rinse and repeat until you have a job in the next three months. If you are still without a job, take a bridge job waiting tables or pumping gas until you find a career position.

When another user asks you if you've really had triplets, it's time for an update. All of the kids are doing well, maturing, and should be home in the next few weeks. It's an amazing experience, and as worrisome and overwhelming as it might be at times, they're completely worth it already. Below are pictures and brief videos of the kiddies, still in the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit). After all, I don't want to be one of those parents that bores relatives and acquaintences with stories about their kids!

I also wanted to give a special thanks to Reetesh, who surprised me with a special change of avatar for my wife!

Dr. Boz's old avatar and the new one provided by Reetesh

---

Baby Time!

Happy Easter from Anna, Kail, and Lincoln!

One minute of each baby!

[video=KnwwkjSo5bwFsjLe] [video=ciQwkmGt5bwFsjXX] [video=JXVgxTKo5bwFsjLf]

A five-man hot tub came with the house when Mr. and Dr. Boz signed the deed almost two years ago. We used the hot tub extensively during the first year for quiet evenings or splashing around with family members, but drained it during the pregnancy of the missus (health reasons). Now that Dr. Boz is nearly recovered from her delivery the question has arisen: Do we reactivate it?

For me, a hot tub should be more than just a romantic getaway for a couple or place to relax after a long day, even if those are its primary purposes. It should also be a whirlpool of sin and an invitation to debauchery and gratutitous nudity for (hot) non-relations. (Hot) friends and (hot) strangers alike should shed their clothing and leap in for cheap trills and adult merriment while splashing champagne over the edges and giggling in child-like glee, trying to hide their naughty bits below the bubbles.

You think the sign was too much?

Sadly - but perhaps not surprisingly - this has been lacking. There has been nary a bare female or male teat since its acquisition, excluding the owners. Some of this is my own fault. It is difficult for someone who is obsessively clean and paranoid to host a party, let alone a drunken bash that might end with anything approaching depravity. When your mind is focused on preventing guests from spilling wine on the carpets and watching the attending kleptomaniac like a hawk to protect your DVD collection, it can be tough to cut loose and enjoy yourself. That, and being in bed by ten o'clock kind of kills the evenings, and definitely makes the likelihood of two (hot) topless women making out in the frothing pool a practical impossibility.

You would expect at least some gratuitious nudity in the hot tub of a Phi Sigma Kappa brother, and a former social chair to boot, but there it is: he has become a homeowner and a father, and therefore kinda lame. Will he be doomed forever to a life of stories from his college years? Or are there still a few wild nights of joyous regrets and swinging for the fences ahead? Only time will tell, but he can think of three reasons anything other than a quiet night is unlikely to happen in his hot tub.