So, I've been having a blast with... stuff, I felt like doing THIS!

Over 9,000! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBtpyeLxVkI

I Hope My Body Can Take It...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbSjKjjObLg

The Balls Are Inert...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cS18yG8DJI

The Whole Universe Is Going To Die!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnPN2yOup9E

Object My Balls!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NR0Yn8u-f3k

The Pylons Are Trap Balls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzSWdj4izHM

Well, I did my good deed for the day.  Hm, blogged twice in one week.  Is it snowing in hell?

Oblivion has kidnapped me and demands 1.2 million dollars to ensure my safe return.  Until that time, I will be forced to remain in the world of Cyradiil.

So, I bought The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is by far one of the most incredible and ultimately amazing games I have ever played.  I place this in the ranks of The Warriors, Deus Ex: Invisible War, Freedom Fighters and Dark Cloud.  Coming from me, (I'm picky when it comes to rating games) saying ANY game is near those 4 games status, means it is freakiing awesome.  And no, I am not over exaggerating.

Oblivion in itself does have things that could have used some slight tweeking but they are so small that they are hardly noticable.  What most amazes me is the fact that it manages to have incredible graphics and it didn't even need to sacrifice any of the game play mechanics to do so.  In fact, The game moves very smoothly.  The way they managed it was to make it so the environment loads as you move into it.  You never hit load times out in the wild that totally pause the game for 10 seconds to bring up a new area.  It does every now and then get choppy for a second or two, but that is understandable.

This in mind, what about game play?  Well, game play holds in between 200 to 300 hours.  Ya, I thought the same thing.  The Main Quest holds about 50 hours (from what I have heard) but I've only played about 8 of those hours.  In total I have played about 60 hours.  What have I been doing in those 52 hours?  Adventuring though the wild and doing Side Quests.  There are enough side quests that it boggels the mind.  I have done about 24 (about, remember?) side quests so far.  And all the side quests are unique.  You never see any repeats. Each one has a story behind them and a reason.  It is ultimately up to you to choose how to execute each one.  They all lead to fame and fortune.

There are also the guilds.  Fighters Guild, Mages Guild, Thieves Guild, Dark Brotherhood, Arena (I'm the Grand Champion of the Arena) and I may be missing a few.  These all have their own missions and their own purposes.  They all challenge your skills and your willingness to survive.

Ever person you meet and talk to has a name and a personality.  Each one you can change forever.  Even the lowliest preist could be a king... It is amazing. Even the people of Hackdirt, that serve no purpose but to exist, are there.

I paid $60 something dollars so I could buy the massive amounts of downloadable stuff availible for it over Xbox Live.  This game will keep me playing for months and even years to come.

This is one of the most amazing games ever.  This is a must buy.  This is Oblivion.

Yes, it is edited AND remastered biotch!  Two in one just because I love you.  Oh how I love you......  So let's get this crap trap rolling.  Heh, trap.

"...high five Jesus, shoot the breeze, contract mono from a dead badger, slap Hitler learn that being half naked makes you invisible, set your crotch on fire, make sweet, sweet love to your shoe, poop next to a tree, learn the tree had a land mine next to it, slaughter a cow in front of some kids, drive a ice cream truck made of broken dreams, hug a local hobo, slap a random woman, find love exists in a coffin, sleep on the job, lick your elbow, finish college, learn your degree in "McSmarty Pants" is worthless, why the hell is Godzilla still here?..."

These get worse every new entry.... Nice.

That's right, IT"S BACK!  I randomly, at 1 in the moning, thought, "I should be slepping..." But then I did this.  Great job Reilly!  Well to hell with my physical being for know.  I want to continue this series of randomness and what not.  Let's recap all my previous gaming gold.

"

You could fly on the backs of mutant babies, you could fight Godzilla and save Japan, feed starving orphans, be Jesus, walk on water, poop while sky diving so you can laugh at the insuing result, work at Starbucks, knock up a slut, get in a crappy marrage, get a desk job, get stuck in traffic, fight Godzilla again, suicide bomb schools, use children to suicide bomb school, tip cows, poop some more, get cancer, kick people in the nads, karate chop your mother, beat up Chuck Norris, eat fire, get indigestion, fight penguins in an epic space battle, steal candy from children, get diarreha, brake dance, ride a pony, ride your mom, eat cookies, get fat, forget your parachute, BULLET TIME, have a midlife crisis, go duck hunting, "accidentally" shot your friend while duck hunting, eat babies, milk cows, rape livestock, have a gay marrage, eat sand, stare at the sun, pee on babies, spit acid, ride a Hump Back Whale, be a mermade, have a sex change, beat your wife, live in the moment, be emo, shot yourself as soon as you go emo, get a degree in mechanical enginering, learn to fly, send your parents to a old folks home, buy a pet hamster, get potty trained, go swimming, learn you don't know how to swim, find the Happy Unicorn Kingdom, learn Godzilla has many clones, get sued for setting a woman on fire, get a parking ticket, lose your wallet, befriend the local homeless, dig up dead people, come out of the closet, get smashed, trip, zip up before everything is in the pants, get spam, touch your self and poop one last time."

Then there was....

"You can chuck your shoe at a enemy when you run out of ammo, randomly start speaking chinese,  find out the truth behind bigfoot, help the woodland creatures, transform into a Badger, take a knife to a gun fight, strangle people with a sock, wedgies, go super sayan, beat around the bush, learn what it means to love, be crusified, collect road kill, get AIDs, get pregnant, get constipated for two weeks, ride on the back of a T-Rex into battle with the land-to-air nuclear cows."

Now that everyone is up to speed, I will begin the new chapter.

"...Tackle a riot squad member, punch a cow, lose the fight with the cow, get raped, find religion, find your car keys, become a unic!, Godzillas back, run for a governmental position, Learn convicted criminals can't run for a government position, hug a tree, learn your a mean drunk, help a seal commit suicide, mess with war veterans heads, write your your first Italian Sonnet, learn the Italian Sonnet octave reaquires 8 lines, not 6, become anorexic, become a crack whore, declare war on New Jersey, enlarge your penis make the elephants jelious of your big wang, eat a sandwhich, catch on fire, learn to love again, find out they have it in for you, tear gas a homeless shelter, ride that flying mutant baby.."

That's all you get.  Good Night!

A while back you may recall that I wrote of a time and date of which no longer exists.  This date is Febuary 30th. 

When I last talked of it, I told you that I would be visiting it by the Inter-Galactic Vampire Race of Demi-Badgers (I-GVD-B).  These creatures where some of the most amazing beings I have ever met.  They originally contacted me on January 5th, 2007.  A date scarred in my memory forever.

They got me through calling me on the phone.  They spoke in violent spitting noises and gurgling sounds.  It almost sounded like a man dying through choking on their own blood.  It scared me out at first but for no real reason, I began to feel calm.  Almost to the point of collapes.  My mind seemed to open and began to feel... white.  Blank.  A state of total nothingness.  It did not invoke depressing feelings but rather satifying ones.  Then the voice on the other line became clear.  It told me that it was an impossibility to understand it without a state of acceptance.  It told me of a place and time called, "Febuary 30th".  I knew no such date existed but I wanted it to for some reason.   They told me to meet at a disclosed area at 11:50 PM on February 28th.  I agreed.  The call didn't really end, it seemed to fade out.  I never heard them hang up nor did I ever hear a dial tone. At the time though I barely thought of it as I was released from that state of acceptance that the call had put me in.  As soon as the voice had stopped talking, all the things of the world returned to my mind.  Sickness, war, death, betrail, sin, love, sadness, religion: all came into my minl.  It felt as though I had been closed from the world and only knew of good and happy things.  Then suddenly was exposed to all the dark things of the world.  Utter culture shock.  I wanted so baddly to return to the acceptant state of mind.

Over a month later and no contact from the I-GVD-B, I went to the disclosed place at the said time.  I brought a watch to make sure I was right on time.  There was nothing there.  I stood there for some time but there was no contact made then suddenly a light so bright came from nowhere and almost blinded me.  I fell to the ground in pain then I was grabbed up by two burrly arms that felt soft as though covered in fur.  I was pulled forward and as I opened my eyes, I was able to make out a form on either side of me.  Soon my eyes began to work again and I found they were two extremely large badgers.  As the light disappated, we entered a realm.  It was a like a room in a sense.  It felt inclosed but so open.  It was almost like a floating mass of land.  It was roughly 100 feet wide all around.  Small but it was as though it was all that was needed.  There was grass spanning the land mass and a small hill at the other end.  On the hill was a small white gazzebo and a tree peared right behind it.  It had beautiful green branches and amazing pink flowers in full blossum at the tips.  I gazed up at the sky to see an amazing display.  The sky had no sun nor moon thus it showed its true aura.  It was bright white with other coolers swirling around it like the Northern Lights.  They where colors of soft blue and many others undescribible shades without seeing them with your own eyes.

I was told to take of my shoes before procceding onto the land.  I did as they said and stepped onto the grass.  It was soft and gental under foot.  I walked toward the gazzebo and up the hill till I arrived and was greeted by another badger.  It was the one I heard on the phone.  It sat in a chair made of metal bars that were twisted and currled in the shape of a elagent chair and offered me a seat across the table from him.  My chair was identical to his and I sat.  It placed a beautifully crafted cup in front of me and told me to drink as much as I wanted.  It was a tea.  A tea that upon drinking my mind burst open. 

From that point on my memory is hazy.  I know I spent the rest of the time there chatting with the badger but about what, I don't know.  I wish I knew.  I do remember when I was told it was time to leave, I was at a point of finding true Nirvana.  But as I left I did not feel sad or discouraged of my leaving.  I still felt that if everything was answered, what would be left to learn?

Once I had said good bye and proceeded to the point in which I had first entered this realm, I stepped into the light in which I had come.  Suddenly, I was staring at the night sky and dirt below my feet.  I looked at my watch.   It had stopped and had a crack along the glass.  The time was 12:01 and the date had stopped at the year 2364.  I realized that even though time had stopped in that realm, my watch continued moving forward.  I fell to the ground and wept for two hours.  After, I took my 5 hour walk home and emmediatly wrote this.

Yup, after 5 years of being in denial, I got Xbox Live.  Yup, I'm going to pay for it.  Why?  Definitely not for the jack asses.  I'm doing this to stay in contact with friends and such and play games along side them.  So if any one of you guys want to contact me (if you got Live) my GamerTag is hamdemon777.

BACON!

IT'S TRUE!  Believe it of not, I got me some cancer. 

This fun and crazy cancer is called Hogkins Lymphoma.  It's very curable.  It's nicely inbedded in my neck, on the left side.  At this point it is a fairly large mound. Not to the point were it looks like a second head (I named it, "Carlos.") but it is big enough to make people freak out when they touch it and and get all weirded out by it being all hard.  But FIRST, You must hear a story.  Ya, ya, another weird story of me.  BUT THIS TIME IT'S DIFFERENT!  It's about my neck.  My meaty, human neck.

So, over the summer I get to Florida (AKA Hell) and my neck starts hurting.  Well, soon after it gets really tense (the muscle) around the base of my neck on the left side.  Time past and eventually it worsened.  Soon I would wake to a horrible pain literally in my neck.  Around noon the pain would magically disappear and the rest of the day was fine.  When I finally decided to see a doctor the pain stopped.  Quickly I felt relieved as I believed the worst had past and the sweeling on my neck would leave.  A week past and the pain never came back but the swolleness was still there.  Soon I told my mom I was worried.  She was a bit curious too.  Thus the furious and most annoying and tedious doctor visits began.

Since I am lazy and my life isn't that exciting, I will sum up the visits. 

First six or seven doctor visits they had no idea what I had.  I had enough blood drawn to OD a vampire.

Within that time I had a camera rammed unto my nose that went down into my throat and got a biopsy on my neck.  A biopsy is a small surgery and they cut in to my neck and chopped out one of my hundereds of swollen lymphnodes to confirm what I have (I got a nice little scar now!).

After that we found I had Hogkins Lymphoma which is a form of cancer that is very curable, unlike Non-Hogkins Lymphoma.

Now I am going to be having kemo therapy for the next 6 months.  I'll be losing my hair and might become steril but it's all  good.  Plus I get a cool little thing placed under my chest that will connect to an artery (not sure the name) that pumps blood  away from the heart so they can inject the kemo stuff right in there yo avoid vein damage.

Well, that's my fun life.  Tally ho!

This was something I wrote in the Silent Hill: Origins forum.  It was a joke topic that I took WAY to far.

In the topic a guy named 'Highlander' ask what was scarier; a hot dog or a cookie.  Knowing me, I decided to take it seriously and really showed my stuff.  This is what I wrote:

"Well, we need to take into account that the coockie and a hot dog are both eaten.  Plus they were never alive in the first place.  This pretty much makes them absent of any scare factor.

The only ways to make a hot dog or cookie scary is through munipulation of the ingrediance.

Let's explore the hot dog first.

The hot dog is made up of meats from cow, pig, chicken, turkey or vegetarian substitutes.  None of the named creatures are scary (unless you were molested by a vegetarian, then tofu dog would scare you).  The way to make a hot dog scary is through adding on to its being. 

Example: inject the weener with blood (fake blood works too).  Then eat it in front of a group of children.  That will cause some scaring.  Or wear a Hot Dog uniform and hold a gun to someones head and threaten to take their life unless they eat 20 hotdags in 2 minutes.  It they don't succeed, shot off a few rounds that wizz past them.  They won't like the weenies no more.

Cookies are different.  They come in so many shapes and sizes and just as many different types of ways to make them.  Cookies are even less scary than the hot dog.  I feel they are always a comfort food that makes ya smile.  Killing this would be hard.  But it is possible.

Example:  Put some asbestos in the cookie dough before baking it.  Hand one to the person and watch as their throat begins to bleed and almost kill them.  Or, tie the person up and force them to eat cookie after cookie after cookie until they vomit and do it again.  Continue with out giving them anything to drink and once they pass out, leave them their with nothing but a plate of cookies in front of them.  Another fun thing to do is play a tape that has the word 'cookie' said at random times and when the person says 'cookie', you hit the person that is tied up.  From then on if someone were to ever say cookie they would recoil in terror.

That's how I believe hot dogs and cookies can be made scary."

Ya, good times.

Ok, this is a crap blog that is here to inform you of the crap happening in the crap-ness of my life.  Since the over use of the word crap, it has been nicely dubed the, "Crap Blog".  In this I'm just telling you amusing things of no real importance unless you are looking forward to playing Lost Planet.  Let the crap be UNLEASHED!

So, I bought Lost Planet and beat it in 7 hours.  Bleh.  Now, don't get me wrong, I liked the game.  It has some of the smoothest 3rd person shooter controls I've ever used, sweet graphics and massive fights that can become very hectic plus the amazing explosions and snow kick-up.  All those things are amazing but it is shallow as far as game play goes.  It is mostly just shoot, then collect the thermal energy dropped, shoot and collect the thermal energy dropped, Fight boss, next mission.  In other words; Same old.

To be honest though, Japan hasn't been very well known for it's shooters.  Hell, there are few that do come from there (Bullet Witch is actually a upcoming shooter from Japan).  So with that in mind, I have to say that they handed us a great game that looks, feels, and moves silky smooth and it diserves praise.  Plus the plot starts out cliche enough (Your father was killed, you want revenge AND you have amnisia.  Doesn't get any worse than that.) but soon turns into a different story half way through the game and ends in a very satisfying way.

Ultimately, it was a great game that had a lot of up sides but had quite a few down falls which made it a game you play off and on.

Ok, now onto the fan fic stuff and NO I am not writing a fan fic.  I can't write fan fic.  I feel it is harder and less fun as 1.) You didn't create the characters and world, 2.)  You need to know all about the characters and the world they live in, 3.)  The joy of writing (to me) is that you create everything out of your own creativity and imagination and you choose what the characters are and what they will be.  This poses more of a challange as you must make the story incompasing and intising and ultimately lead you to a satisfing end.  That's my look at it though, BUT that isn't to say I don't like reading the wacky stuff people write.  Sometimes it is so bad that it is down right hilarious.  But then again we all have seen a Fan fic at some point and almost vomited.  Me, I faced this head on and dove into www.fanfiction.net to find some wacky stuff and wacky I did find.  I didn't need to look hard for the wacky to be found, I simply chose the "M" rating and typed in Dead or Alive and I was beaten over the head with hilariously inappropriote sex scenes, terrible romance scenes (every corny line in the book being utilized to its full advantage) and the funniest excuses for plot.  I must salute them for there effort and determination.  It takes courage to write the stuff.

You must all go to www.fanfiction.com !  NOW!

Ok, I was ranting about Fanboy-ism (Console Fanboys) and said something I found kind of prophetic. If you like it, you can use it in your sig. (I know that sounds egotistical but hey..) but tell me if you find it wrong.  If you use it in a sig., make sure to give me credit.

"A system doesn't make the game, the game is what completes the system."

So ya.  This is another short Blog post so make sure to read the other 2 below this one too.