Who would you like to uppercut in real life? Not slap, punch, kick, or anything. You have to uppercut them in the jaw. They can't hit you back. Any friend? Celebrity? Politician? Me?

I'd uppercut Jimmy Dean. Maybe then he'd lower his hot sausage links. They're mmm-mmmm good!

Hey guys, I'm back this early morning for yet another mind blowing blog about nothing. I just got the beta version of Windows Media Player 11 and it's actually pretty neat. I've used the beta Vista (which I don't suggest since half of the crap doesn't work right) and the new Media Player looks to be straight from that. But I'm not here to talk about cool looking jukeboxs for your hundreds or even thousands of stolen MP3 files. That's right. I said it. Stolen MP3 files. I'm here to talk about which jukebox for your stolen music is right for you.

·iTunes: My choice of jukebox is iTunes because it's got a really, really easy to use interface and everything is there. One click does everything. It's not super fancy but it does everything I want it to do. Besides convience, it also uses less memory than most MP3 players. Oh, oh. Also, if you like legal music, iTunes Music Store is also a click away.

·Media Player (11, not 10): The new version of Media Player is pretty pimp. It looks beautiful. It is completely different from 10. It even copied iTunes Music Store! That's Microsoft for ya. But, seriously, if you haven't seen it, look it up now. Only problem right now is it's running a little laggy with my now 18,000 songs.

·WinAmp: Well, I love WinAmp and I hate it. It's got the best skins ever and tons of them. Easy to use plug-ins. The biggest problem I have with WinAmp is the memory usage.

Well, I won some free bucks at work so I used them to order some shoes for my wife, some movies, and the game I think was best of show at E3... Dead Rising. Sure, it might turn into something as boring as State of Emergency but whatever. I love zombie killing games. I love blood & gore. I love Capcom. It's a trinity of love.

I'm loving these webisodes they're offering on Marketplace too. It's getting me really pumped for the game to hurry up and ship from Amazon's little market. I'm probably going to wait longer than a week because I ordered online and got free shipping (total cost: $56). I think a demo is being released soon anyways, so I should be good.

Tomorrow, I'm getting my new Sony Grand WEGA 3LCD tv. I hope it rocks. Right now, I'm using a small 20" CRT tv. I miss my 50" plasma now :(

Key Songs: Napoleon Dynamite, Fivetweezy (Disco Mania Remix), Mullet Pride (Country Krunk Remix)
Ok, I really don't like rap but this guy is actually talented and doesn't talk about typical rap things such as slappin' b****s, drinkin', slappin' more b****s, shootin' cops and white d00ds, and clubbin'. He's got some really funny songs and, like he even talks about, sounds exactly like Eminem. Remember Eminem? That white guy that thought he was black but then turned out he said the N-word on a tape a long time ago, so some black people don't like him anymore (or something like that, I don't really pay attention to Hollywood gossip). If you liked Napoleon Dynamite the movie, I think you'll get a kick out of this song. I've been playing that song for freakin' days now.

I fixed up my profile. As if you didn't notice. In case none of you knew this, Dinghy Dog is actually from the Carnival of the Damned in the Curse of Monkey Island.

How do you guys like it? My banner, that is. Also, what's up with GameSpot? I can't add colors or pictures into my blogs. Are they broken?

Well, it hit today. The demo for Saint's Row on Marketplace. I was totally stoked about the demo. Like most great hypes, I was... well, get ready to hate me.

The game itself is pretty cool. I mean, it takes what Grand Theft Auto has done and improved it in some areas by 27% (the calculations were scientifically proven, don't blame me). The physics are fun to play with. The graphics look great. You can even 'pimp your ride'. There's a good amount of weapons and, from the looks of the map, the game is going to be big. But what's stopping it from getting a great review from me? Well, hopefully these will be worked out in the final production, but the game has a ton (and I do mean a ton) of flaws. The physics are really flawed. I was driving in an Ant (aka VW Beetle) and crashed into a wooden fence lying on the ground. The fence somehow glitched and flipped my car, blowing it up with my poor red-headed dude inside. Among other things, the game has a pretty bad detection system. For instance, I run through traffic, a guy hits me. As long as he's not going too fast, my character will stand in place while be dragged by the car. This car dragging feature can happen for up to ... well, I lasted like that for almost around the whole city. There's a few other things. Like when you punch people, sometimes you'll obviously be putting your fist right through their heads but it clips and the guy just ends up running away.

For being a 'violent' game, there's really no blood or anything. Maybe because it was a demo? I won't know until the game comes out. I mean, point blank, I shoot a fat old lady in the jaw and she just falls over. Not even flies back. She just falls down and lays there, as if this game were meant to be rated Teen. *<-- LiK pointed out this is realistic... but I want Hollywood action!!1!*  No, when I see a mature rated game like this, I expect to see people suffering, bleeding, and such. A knife wound should always leave a mark. Please, oh for the love of gaming, please let there be some freakin' gore! I hate toned down games like these. Another violent thing that bugged me is what everyone loves in the game: the fire. When cars blow up or molotov cocktails explode, you can actually watch people run around on fire. Cool, but when you look at the big picture, not so cool. I've seen this done in games where I've actually wanted to puke (ie: Postal 2 allows you to dump gasoline on people and throw a match on them. What's left is human burnt flesh. It's disturbing and I love it!). In Saint's Row, the game tends to have someone burn for around 3 seconds and then they extinguish themselves with no mark or scar letting you know that foo' has been burnt. Instead, after the 3 seconds (if that long), the people disappear after a while like this is an old Nintendo 64 system and they can't display more than 10 bodies.

Something I actually am annoyed with in games like this is the car ghost trick. You've all seen it. In GTA 3, a cop would be driving by, you'd turn the camera away from it, look back down the same road, and there's no cop but now there's a Benz or something strolling down the street. This game relies heavily on that! And I was shocked because San Andreas actually rid me of this flaw. Saint's Row should be able to handle caching cars into the memory to remember which one you saw scrolling down the street. Reason I'm complaining about this so much is because I was looking for a Jetta type car to take to the demo's garage. I saw one that turned down a street. I was probably 20 feet away so I ran down the street I was on, took a right, but low and behold, no Jetta-look-a-like car was driving down the road. Instead, there was nothing. Unless that car had nitro and took off in a couple of seconds, I'm not sure how it just went away. Come on, THQ. No blood & gore, glitched physics, no burnt corpses, no motorcycles?! This is Next-Gen gaming with a Next-Gen price. Get with the program!

Now, I'm not all hate on the game. I actually found it pretty neat how you could kick tires at people, go into stores without loading, and there was a decent create a character feature. I think the game will still be worth buying (mainly for the online play) but they really need to work on getting their games less glitchy. There's tons of other flaws in the game but I don't want to ruin the fun of you discovering them. I will give you one last one before I close this out. It is possible to jump on top of a car and have someone drive you around town. You won't even budge when he hits another car. Fan-tabulous!

*Other Reviews Today: Look Below*
Galaga (360)

Man, oh, man. I've seen some crappy movies in my life. I own infinite amount of movies, so I'm pretty aware of crappy movies. MST3K needs to do this movie...

It stars such bad actors as Gary Busey (Black Sheep) and Robin Sydney (umm, no idea actually). The movie starts with no warning. You push play and bam, action is happening. It's done so poorly that you get your remote and chapter back to make sure you didn't accidental skip the previous chapter. Gary is shooting a store up and killing people that are brave enough to approach him. He leaves one girl behind (Robin), and it fades out like he kills her (but he doesn't). So, to get to the actual flaws of the movie, we must move on to some of the bigger mistakes of the movie. I'm just going to bullet the mistakes because they are, in fact, funny.

· Horror films should never have something as stupid as a cookie chasing you around. A cookie chasing you isn't scary. It's edible.
·Gary Busey ruined his remaining bits of dignity by being a freakin' moron puppet voice. And I thought he was Christian. Why was he calling people f'ing a-holes and junk? Lol.
·Out of 8 people, 6 made it out just fine. That's never good. There wasn't even a good surprise crap ending. It was just a very boring "The End" with some cookies looking at you. They put the 'retard' in the word 'retarded'.
· This is actually pretty funny. The back of the box, you see a girl laying down covered in whip cream and two cherries where he naughty bits would be. Well, you'd expect nudity, right? Yeah, no nudity. She's wearing clothes under the whip cream. The thing is too, like my wife and I were saying, those girls were so ugly, you'd never want to see them naked.

Overall, I recommend not watching this horrible B-film. It was exactly 1 hr long with 24 minutes of credits. The story is horrible. The acting is even worse. The best thing about the movie is returning it. Although, this is a great part of the movie and I wish I could upload it to YouTube for you guys.

*The setup: wrestling nerd guy tackles the gingerbread... err, gingerdead man and bites his head off. After getting blood on his face (yeah, what the crap? Blood came out of cookie dough?), they zoom up on him and he says "Got Milk?". FREAKIN' LAME!!!1!*

First off, anyone else have the unfortunate pleasure of working with the general public? It really opens your eyes to how stupid people really are.

I work in sales and it seems like no matter how smart they should be (ie: lawyers, doctors, hippies), they are always the stupidest people on earth. Not only are they stupid, they're rude when they can't figure something out. I'm here to share a few stories about my travels down the lane of customer stupidity. Share your stories as well.

At CompUSA (my old jorb), I had a few winners, some which I still talk about today.
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Customer: "I've never used a computer. I just bought one and I'm looking at these pads you have. What are mouse pads?"
Me: "They're for your mouse so you can have percise aiming with the laser on the bottom of your mouse. You can live without one, but it's not recommended at all."
*Customer takes the mouse pad and puts it on top of his hand.*
Customer: "Like this?"
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Old Lady Customer: "Excuse me. Where are your cactus ports?"
Me: "A cactus port?"
Old Lady Customer points to the USB logo. When you look at it, it makes a little sense.

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Then you get your rude, know it alls. These are the "professionals".
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Customer buys a Maxtor external hardrive. I'm the cashier. The hardrive cost like $80 for a 160GB. Here's the story...
Customer: "Is this hardrive any good?"
Me: "Yeah. I don't recommend Maxtor, but that's just me personally. I find Western Digital or Hitatchi to be some of the best."
Customer: "Let me speak to your manager."
Me: "About what?"
Customer: "You just sold me this and told me it was junk so why would I want this?"
Me: "Sir, you asked my opinion. It's still a good buy."
Customer: "Manager. Now!" *like a baby, I might add*
*I call the MOD (manager on duty). She comes out and asks what his problem is.*
Customer: "Yeah, this guy just sold me a piece of crap. He said it was crap and I wasted my money."
Me: "No, I didn't. I said I like WD and Hitatchi. I never said Maxtor was 'crap'."
Manager: "Sir, I doubt (he) said that the hardrive was crap."
Customer: "Yes, he did. I'm never shopping here again. You guys are f'ing morons!"
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Well, maybe I'll add more later but for now, this is my retail stories. If I feel like it, I'll add my joys of working on the phone and sales. How stupid can you be: You need tech support, you call in, it says "Hit 1 for sales, Hit 2 for tech". You hit 1 and then complain about me having to transfer you to the right department??

Well, looks like the TV I'm going to get is this: Sony KDF-E5020000 50" 3LCD Rear Projector HDTV. The guy buying my TV is going to pick it up in Houston, TX at Sears. With the money left over, I'm going to get a MP3 player and CD deck for our new car. Man, don't think I'm rich. I'm not. I won that TV. I wish I had a FT position here at Dell. I would be making enough money to pay off my credit cards (hecka early) and my car (hella early).

What type of TV's do you guys own?

Guys and girls, lol, this is going to be the worst post in the history of teh wuurld. Here it goes...

I have a PayPal account. I don't have money. My birthday is coming up. So, if you put those two together, you'll find out, I'm begging for money through my PayPal account. Lol, if you're gonna hook it up.. leave a post. :P