So I mentioned to some friends of mine that there was an interview with Michael Bay in a magazine I read (I can't remember which mag for sure but I think it was Otaku USA) where he was asked a question about the designs for the Transformers in the new movie and why they are so different from the original characters from the 80s. I can't remember the exact question or his exact answer but it was something to the effect of "I'm not putting those things in my movie, they're lame!" Yes you heard it right, l-a-m-e, LAME. I don't remember the specifics but I know he said the original Transformers are lame.
I read this before the movie came out and it was just another reason for me to assume the movie was going to suck, and it did by the way, but now that I've seen the movie and I know it's garbage, this little interview with Entertainment Weekly comes out. The interviewer mentions that they watched the original 1986 movie before seeing Michael Bay's attempt at a film, then Mr. Bay says this, and I quote "Yeah, I saw 15 minutes of that movie and I wanted to put a gun to my head." What am I supposed to say to that? I'm completely speechless. I don't know if I should just ignore it, drive over to Mr Bay's home and smack him upside the head, or go to some Transformers forum andb*tch at all the losers who love the film and show them what Michael Bay thinks of the original TF that we all know and love. What do you guys think I should say to this? What would you do if someone said so many negative things about something that you love so much? I think it just makes the original Transformers that much more special. Nothing is going to be as good as, or better then the original Transformers, ever.
While we are on the subject of the new Transformers film. Here's a little review. I saw the movie on Wednesday July 4th at the 12:30 PM showing. The theater was not sold out and not really that packed either. One of the coolest things about my experience of the film is that the theater I went to gave out free Transformers comic books. Every issue was the same, it was a prequel comic to the movie. It's really short but it's cool because it's different then the 4 movie prequel comics that came out a few weeks ago.
Another neat thing is that it came with a "Robo Vision Decoder" that you are supposed to use when you buy the TF game and you can find secret codes in the game's packaging to unlock features in the game. That's cool and all but the best part is that the decoder is basically the same thing as the old tech spec decoders from the original toys in the 80s. A tech spec is a characters statistics in strength, rank, courage, skill, firepower, etc. There was a scale on the back of the box where you could find their stats but you couldn't see them without a decoder. Without it, they just looked like static on a television set. You simply place the decoder over the tech spec and you'd see a graph of all their stats. It's a really neat idea and I like how they are doing something similar for the game. Anyway, on to the movie review....
- First off, the movie is a bit long. It's around 2 hours and 20 minutes. It got a little boring in the middle before Optimus Prime showed up. Yes that's right, Prime doesn't show up until about half way through the movie. The first half of the movie is mainly about the human characters. They are the main characters in the film.
- On that note, my biggest problem, besides the fact I still hate the designs (they gave Optimus a mouth that makes him look like an ape) is that there was absolutely no character development of the Transformers themselves. The only real character development you really get is at the very beginning of the movie, then it's all about the puny humans and the Transformers just happen to be in the film. They basically exist to look "cool," transform and fight each other on screen. Oh yeah, and to sell GM cars and trucks, not to mention Mountain Dew and Xbox 360.
- Most of the Transformers were animated really weird. They seemed like monkeys or something, constantly jumping all over the place. Just the way they moved was more organic, not robotic like you'd expect. The only TF that really moved like a huge robot would is Blackout.
- There were parts of the movie where some of the TFs were made out to seem like bumbling oafs with no intelligence whatsoever, like they can't even walk without destroying everything in their paths.
- The TFs die and get injured way too easily. They've never had any kind of specific weakness like they do in this film. Humans can hurt and kill Transformers in this movie.
- This movie is not for kids, even though Michael Bay would have you believe it is (his target audience was kids to people in their 20s. See the link below for an interview with him). There were several scenes with innappropriate sexual innuendo and a completely useless scene where they talk about masturbation Yes that's right, masturbation That whole sequence was the stupidest part of the movie.
- As I said earlier this movie is about humans and the Transformers just happen to be in the movie. Some TFs have only one line in the movie. Starscream has like 2 lines, Blackout has maybe 1 line, Barricade has like 2 lines, Devastator has like one frickin word. The autobots fair a little better but even then they have only like 5 lines each, if that. And of course Prime and Megs have a good amount of lines, although some of them were quite lame. I never imagined the day where I'd here Prime say "my bad" like he was some dumb ass teenager.
- About the designs, there is so much useless detail that when they transform and even when they are moving around at times, that you can't tell what the hell part of the body you're looking at, for one. And when they transform it's just a big jumbled mess of mechanical parts that somehow end up being a robot. There's no sense to any of it. One of the fun things about Transforming a toy, or even watching the cartoon, is figuring out and noticing what part of the body becomes what. If you were to do that in the movie, you'd have to put it in slow mo to figure out how the hell they really transform. It's like Michael Bay thinks the G1 designs are too basic and too dumb for today's standards and he made them all frickin super detailed and crazy and "modern." (See my comment earlier on him calling the G1 designs lame).
The best part of the movie was the character Frenzy. Frenzy was one of Soundwave's little cassette tapes. Remember Soundwave? He was the boombox Transformer that had a bunch of minion cassette tape TFs that he'd use for recon, battle and attacking humans. In this movie Frenzy turns into a boombox and he's used for recon mainly. Basically he's the comic relief in the film and he's very entertaining.
Anothercool thing was that the Hoover Dam played an important role in the film. The very first episode in the original cartoon culminated with a memorable battle between Optimus Prime and Megatron at the Hoover Dam. This is where Prime fights with an energon saber and megatron with an energon mace. There is a scene in this movie where Prime uses something similar to his energon weapon and it's quite brutal too. So at least there was some sort of nod to the original show in this film, but this is the only important one. There is some cheesy dialogue where a character says "more then meets the eye" and there is even some dailogue from the original film where Prime and Megs fight, but it doesn't work well in this film.
So if you can't tell, I did not like this film at all. I had absolutely no expectations going into this film. I assumed it was going to suck, and it did. My only hope is that the sequel can be all about the Transformers and the only humans involved are Sam and his family, since they've now "introduced" the TFs even though they did a horrible job at it.
In other news, I purchased a Japanese PS2 and Transformers Takati (sp?), which only came out in Japan and features the original TFs and it's even in english. I don't expect to receive the game for another couple weeks but look forward to some footage from the game, as well as other crazy Japanese games in the next several weeks.
Here is that link to the interview with Michael Bay.
Log in to comment