I remember when I was 6 years old, gr.1. I awoke with a slight flutter in my tummy! Hmmm, thats not right. I said "Mommy I don't feel well". She would have none of it! Off to school I went...I barfed on my teacher, 2 classmates and my artwork! (that was the only glued macaroni art I did not eat)

I was in gr.6. (so proud of myself). I had not had a bath in 7 months! (had no friends either)

A friend of mine once told me, "you smell like a goat"....

Have you ever wondered where your tongue starts?

A dentist gets paid...to hurt you...(you're going to feel a little pressure)

I once sat down on a pair of scissors, I was looking for them...funny how it's always the last place you look...(left a mark)

I wear white socks...yet the stuff that fills in between my toes...black...

I went to a movie with a girl that scared me into going. I told her that I had to go to the bathroom and I went. I did not tell her that the bathroom I was attending...was in a different city...

My best friend in the whole world...my left hand...(dont be dirty)...it has never dropped a beer.

I met an alien once. How did I know he was an alien...totally illegal...

In a rare mood,

Kingboat

p.s. never forget, that all of you are, near and dear!

As every fella knows, who has a sister! It is his duty, to protect his sister and educate her!

Tonight I will discuss the education of a brothers sister and the meaning of life!

I was 13 and hell on wheels...I made Dennis the menace, look like an alter boy! If I could do it, I did! If I could try it, damn me...I tried! A barrier was a mere lego block, ment to be kicked or melted along side those unfortunate army men that stood in my way!(the plastic army men) I discovered napalm, by accident of course. Honey and gasoline. Total one-time affair! (scared me, almost straight)

However; I digress from the current topic at hand!

As I said, I was 13 years old and full of fire and maybe...a little and I do mean, little...brimstone! I wrapped a "candy" in a very attractive wrapper, then offered said candy to my sister the "Lady L". She went ahead (trusting me?) opened the piece of confectionary and promptly plopped it in her mouth! (thinking...best brother ever) Hahahahahaahhhhaaaaaa, who knew worms were spicy!

Oh yeah, the educational part! My sister, discovered, that all little boys, are just that, little boys! (I still laugh 'bout that, today!) Yes, with glee, I announce to the world...I am a "little boy"!

Kingboat

p.s. the meaning of life, I suspect you ponder it...love your sister and protect her, that my friends is the sacred duty of a "brother"!

Once again I find myself...musing,

I remember, when I was a wee lad. I went to McDonald's for a happy meal. Why do they call it a happy meal, they don't look all that happy making it...

I was a part of a biker gang, we were called the Cobras and no one, I mean no one messed with us! We ran into loggerheads with another gang, just called The Street. We ended up joining the two gangs and we called ourselves the Street Cobras. I wish I still had that bike, she was yellow Schwinn with a banana seat and chopped forks with suicide bars. (I was 13 years old)

I was 16 when I cut down my first tree, it was my neighbors. (he hated me)

When I lived in residence while in university, we sat around drinking and solving all the worlds problems.(I woke up with new ones)

I once slipped and fell in dog poop, 5 minutes before a mandatory meeting. (it ended 8 seconds after my arrival)

I remember, in gr.1, I was drinking a soda and sneezed, I also peed a little and dropped a wee turd into my shorts. I tell you this, because after that day, I have never had another nose bleed! (the soda in my nose felt like my face was melting) I never picked it again either.

Why is it that every time I eat pizza, I melt the upper palette, in my mouth...it's like those McDonald pies...the molten cherry flavour...

Whats the only thing water can't clean? A fart, next time you have a bath, fart, it still stinks!

I climbed to the top of this old oak once, I was proud of myself, it had been blown down in a wind storm...

If mans best friend is "the dog" and a dogs best friend is "the fire hydrant"...glad we picked first!

I find myself, in a rare mood with rare ideas...

Kingboat

p.s. It doesn't matter how old you are, a fart is still funny. George Carlin

I am in a rambling mood, I do feel, like, musing...

To all, have the most fantastic weekend!

My youngest princess is taking on her post secondary education like it's a fight to the death...she's winning and it will be a "complete KO". (maybe even death!)

His royalness, Fable the kitten, the gladiator of the kitchen, the kitten of cats, rocks me to my socks!

His royalness, Tyson the dog, Man o war, alpha of alphas, the guy, whom has stolen this humble Lords heart, lifts me!

Her royalness, Cuddles the cat, meat eater and consumer of watermelon, poops wherever, is still my Queens light! (therefor, she's mine)

My car died, I shot it...twice! (fought like hell tho)

Someone came to canada and stole our snow! (keep it, please...there is a giftcard in it for ya)

I remember a time, when I was small and 'bout twelve years old. I discovered that hotwheels cars were not the end-all-be-all to life! Lego was!

I farted a fart once that hurt me! Now, I tremble a little!

I love to swing on swings! (I put one in the courtyard, just for me)

My Queen hath returned, one must attend her desires, I ramble no more.

Kingboat

I am a proud canadien/canadian! I am a french canadien! Who the heck am I trying to kid, I am, canadian! I work at a major canadian university. I served in the military while in school! Never went over seas to peacekeep/fight/defend! Would I? Without a second thought!

I think that the single biggest mistake my government has made, in speaking for me, as someone who served, "we" are going to pull out of afghanistan in a combat roll! I was a part-time militia bag that got to play war and camp out on weekends! I just so happened to be really good with a single shot, bolt action, 308 rifle, that was a 100 years old! I went to sniper school! Enough about that! I did not serve in any combat facet, so it means nothing! What "grinds my gears"(H, Simpson), the fact that the war on terror will never be over! The fact that P.M. Harper has said that "we" will pull out our combat troops and "cease" our combined efforts on the war on terror...CHILLS ME! Yes, I have in fact, put words in his mouth. As the reporters have thrown those same words at him, he has not denied them! I will accuse him of being a coward and a bigot! (this is my opinion, do not debate me, please)

How dare any man lessen the life given, for the sake of freedom and the life that shall be lived free! Lord Kingboat (my quote!)

Any who gives their life freely and falls, should be followed by those who are just and are angered! Lord Kingboat (mine again)

I sound like a right wing zealot, a christian nut.(I am not)

These individuals are not religious, they do not love mankind, they do not even love, the idea of acceptable love. They hate out of, ignorance, spiritual dominance and simple economics!

My government has spoken for me and has misspoken!

I am angered, upset and beguiled,

Kingboat.

p.s. I waited until the olympics started to post this! My government is prorogued!

"finally brother, after awhile, the battle will be over. For that day when we shall lay down our burden and study war, no more!" (Moby, Study war. {Album, Wait for me!}.)

Every day my Queen, is my valentines day.

Every day, you my Queen, are that valentine.

Yours in love,

your humble servant.

Kingboat

I received conformation earlier today that the CDC and WHO have declared this years flu season to be officially over! I can honestly report now, that the entire thing was blown way out of proportion! All the ridiculous meetings, updates and late nights are over! (happy dance...now) There was a real serious case of Norwalk Virus in one residence that affected just under a thousand individuals! Thankfully, that did not involve myself or any from my office! (I did walk through the residence...not one of my better ideas!)

I'm working from home today, wink, wink! I have been able to get a tonne of stuff done! Like, driving out to bring the youngest home for winter break! Walked my dog, Tyson. Fought it out with Fable, (he likes to roughhouse) awesome kitten he is! Oh yeah, enjoying a cold beer as I type this...my job is sooo hard! (can you get fired for drinking on the job if you are at home?) See this is the trick, I have a Mac as my home computer. Behind me, at the second desk, I have my pc. I also have my laptop from work and I am logged into the University's network and it looks like I am there! (for those canadiens who have reading week next week...play safe and have a good time doing it!) My boss is somewhat naive, he thinks I am working on this report for OHAS and the presidents office, with regards to the H1N1 outbreak we had before christmas! I had that finished two weeks ago, ran it through my editor and will fax it of at 4:30pm today!

(going to get a beer, be right back)

Great, a call from the office, hahaha, it has to do with the report! I just faxed it off! One of my co-workers needed to get on the report as an author! Not kidding, he contributed nothing! Now he is having a hissy fit and will probably get a swift kick in his butt on monday!

Anyway, have a great weekend, I will...

Kingboat

My Queen has a wedge fracture of...I forget that part and partial crushed disk of L7. With therapy, surgery and pain management, she should be "okay"! I would like to congratulate my Queen on the announcement of her official retirement! (Medical) So glad I did not take up medicine, sick people scare me...the same way that marionettes do!

My beloved ipod, Lohr, has passed recently! Just this very day! My understanding is, death through misadventure! You see...he drowned.

Goin to get a replacement tho, so don't feel to badly for me! It's entirely my fault, I never taught him to swim...

Kingboat,

p.s. I would like to welcome to the world Lohr II a 16 g iPod nano!

as it is to feel joy and not pain...I hurt!

My Queen is injured beyond doubt and suffers!

Each day that I arise and fully wake...I am reminded...I am, reminded!

as my day ends, all I have is her, all I have is my Queen...

David

Finally broke 10 000 for my gamer score, 5 digits baby! Woo hoo!

Kingboat,

is happy!