UPDATE - I just got back. Score was a 690 (scaled to 800). Apparently that's supposed to be a good score, but I'm pissed because I did poorly on - guess what - the math. Horribly, even. I'm not entirely ecstatic that I destroyed the verbal because, well, I get paid to write. If I had done anything less than very well on verbal, I'd have been extremely disappointed in myself. Anyway, I'll have to take it again to break 700 if I want to get into Columbia's graduate program. ==Original post follows.==

I've not nearly done enough concentrated studying for this piece-o-deuce test. Sure, I've studied throughout the weeks since May - but I'd never had hardcore, sit-down-for-4-hours-at-a-time sessions until Thanksgiving week - which is when I finally registered to take the goddamn thing. Tonight was my last hurrah attempt at getting 4 last hours in.

Fortunately, writing a lot for something other than my own site - first for the Community Contributions Union, then for Gamespot - has made stuff like the Analyze an Argument essay and Grammar Correction a piece of cake. The rest? Not so much. I absolutely, positively ABHOR the Data Sufficiency questions (given this statement and mathematical question, is fact "1" enough to provide an answer? what about fact "2"? both alone? both separately? neither?) as well as crap like probabilities and stupid little niggling wart problems like, "Oh, how many integers between 700 and 999 have two of their digits equal to each other with one being different?" I HATE MATH. I HATE NUMBARZ. (No, I'm not your stereotypical ____. Sue me.) Zaps, m0zart... HELP!

Thankfully I finally got Gears of War for PC working yesterday after about an hour install (during which I crammed some studying in) and another 90 minutes of troubleshooting (during which I nearly broke my monitor, only to restrain myself before I actually committed the fatal headbutt - yeah, headbutt). I had to install two updates, turn off my Window Blinds skin, and futz around with my registry in order to free up a large enough memory page to play it (at least, I think that's what I did). No, it doesn't run smoothly because I'm still running on last year's middle-high-end tech (X1950 PRO, Athlon X2 3800+). Yes, it looks friggin' amazing at 1280x1024. You know how the 360 version has a default filter that's muted and gray, to make everything seem desolate? There are two others, called Vivid and Intense. I *think* I used Intense, though it could be Vivid too - whatever. Point is, it injected a WHOLE bunch of natural color into the game while keeping that desolate, rotting atmosphere. It upped the contrast too, so everything being hit by the sun is can be construed as blinding. It looks REALLY good.

Now to get a better video card (or dial down the resolution) to get it at a consistent 30+ frames per second. Right now that's with textures on Medium, filter detail on High, and special effects on Low; and I verified that it's the Vivid filter. I don't know, but it looks more colorful to me - maybe I'm remembering wrong, though. I'm able to get 30+ frames a second half the time; other times it hunkers down to around Xbox 360 levels, and when it's loading or there's a lot of sound going on, it'll literally stutter - but it still is very playable 95% of the time.

And you'd better believe that I'm going to play for 20 minutes before I go to sleep to night to brush off all this stress from stupid studying for this stupid test which I have to stupid take stupid tomorrow stupid.

I hate it.

Jeff Gerstmann is let go.

Vivendi (who owns Blizzard) and Activision get married.

Damn.

But then, outside in other parts of life, beyond the pixels and microswitches and compressed audio, this.

If anyone you knew was a victim, my condolences. Sometimes you wonder what could have been done, and then realize it doesn't matter because someone somewhere is going to forget. And then it happens again.

- If you checked out the comments section of the Episode 73 post, you'll note user Noct and I had a rather lengthy debate about our podcast. I want to make it clear to new listeners who don't know how we roll: we are a ratty, doofy group of four guys with big foul mouths. We by no means are professional in our delivery, and that is simply what comes naturally. I could round them up to speak properly and be normal about everything, but that's just not us. What we do try to do as best as possible is research any facts when we don't know them, and to clearly note what's an unconfirmed rumor - the latter of which we did do when talking about the Gerstmann situation. I personally have a feeling of what might have happened based solely on conjecture, and I made sure to note that none of this is confirmed. I still think it was important to discuss the potential ramifications of such a rumor, or rather, theory. I think it was important to discuss what the results of this fallout's perception could be, since - true or not - these types of rumors will sting and sting hard for a long time. I guess I'm trying to say this: if you want a straight-laced presentation and a file that has undergone a full's day worth of editing, time which none of us have, and more factual evidence than speculation regarding THIS particular issue, then you might not want to download our episodes. If you don't mind your facts with a little dose of (what we find liberating) immaturity, if you don't mind us taking the time out to actually talk things out not as geniuses but as informed people who sometimes have to lean on each other - as humans do - to hash and discuss things out, then by all means - step in. I bear no ill will to those who decide to pass - this is just a warning to let you all know what you're getting into. Noct, no hard feelings, eh?

- This has since been altered, but I think it's pretty amusing given the state of things: http://kotaku.com/gaming/kane-%26-lynch/kane--lynch-site-fibbing-about-reviews-scores-329529.php. NOW BEFORE YOU GO OFF COMMENTING WILLY NILLY about this, realize that this should not be surprising. This is done a lot with books and cinema, and is certainly done with videogames a lot. (Remember Splinter Cell: Essentials for the PSP? Check out the Ubisoft ads quoting GameSpy's preview text as opposed to review text.) I just think it's just somehow fitting that someone stumbled across this in the wake of what's going on.

- On the heels of everything that happened and what's been actually confirmed since, I want to stress that whatever feelings I have towards the issue are based on conjecture. I know that nothing has been confirmed, and you should know that too. We will likely never, ever know the true circumstances behind what happened with our friend Jeff Gerstmann, Gamespot's erstwhile frontman. I am as guilty as anyone else of quickly getting angry over it, but I think it's important to note that our anger is over the fact that the mere thought of these rumors being true could have serious repercussions throughout the industry. At least, that's how it is for me. To be honest, I truly hope to eat crow if it somehow comes out that the rumors were completely false. I think it bears mentioning that, yes, the rumors are plausible. This type of stuff has happened before and in no way is guaranteed to never happen again. It's business - that's how some entities roll. It also bears mentioning that semantics can be a powerful weapon that clouds our ability to discern the possibilities of the reasons for any shocking event. That's PR's job. I word things in an ambiguous manner every day at work to minimize any possible lashback for whatever situation we're dealing with. On the other hand, it also bears mentioning - and repeating - that given these vagaries, we can't ever know for sure or confirm our suspicions of what happened unless our name is Jefferson Gerstmann and we're 6'3" with a strange predilection for achievement points, thinking up videogame Haikus about Robocop and singing Complicated.

- It seems easy to want to boycott Eidos, but I don't know that it's really something I truly believe in. Rewind back to the podcast where we mess around about how Kane and Lynch sucks, even though we've never played it. Jokes, people. Just like Tony's "**** Sony!" outbursts. Though, you never know what's going on in his crazy, pony-tailed head. Anyway, the reason why I don't believe it's necessarily practical to boycott Eidos over this situation is because I don't think any rumored "pressure" on its part - I repeat: rumored - is unique to Eidos, if the fact is that they did apply any such pressure. We'd have to boycott most publishers on principle, then. Am I saying this because maybe I want Deus Ex 3 to be the baddest boy on the block when it comes out and I don't want to "feel bad" about buying it? ... ... maybe. In any case, despite my emotions (which are based, again, on rumor and suspicion), I won't be boycotting any Eidos games. I wouldn't blame anyone if they did - to each his own.

- CNET's Buzz Out Loud podcast address the Gerst-spiracy. I know some of you see fit to boycott CNET and all of its subsidiaries, but I think this one's worth listening to - especially if you don't fall into the Trigames.NET Podcast's target audience: http://reviews.cnet.com/8300-11455_7-10.html

- News posts went up today. Gerstmann's departure was, at the very least, officially acknowledged and the ever-hardworking Ricardo Torres gave the man his props. Staffer Kevin Van Ord posted a full review of Tabula Rasa. NeoJedi posted a new "Getting to Know..." after months of it being put aside. Ryan was right: "the ball is still in motion", and people are doing what they do. Let's all try to find something uplifting to smile about, and let's all continue to wish the Gamespot crew the best.

- Finally... Oh, look, a shameless plug! I like Wrecking Crew.

This will be the only episode I'll ever shamelessly pimp via the Editorial category, because of what's going on and what we have to say about the subject. The podcast title speaks for itself. That's right - it's all about Jeff Gerstmann, all 2 hours of it. There's no intro music. There's no Bag of **** (though it manifests itself briefly in the beginning with a very choice selection from all of us). There's no "what we've been playing". There are no musical interludes. Just a discussion about Jeff Gerstmann and his unjust termination from Gamespot, and of whatever integrity's left in game journalism and game criticism. And, of course, your questions and comments. Thanks, all, for that.

As such, there's no breakdown. Just discussion of the Gerst-uation. Enjoy the episode.

Download here.
File size: 58.8 MB
Running time: 2:02:27

Dragonball is dumb
But not as dumb as all the
People that like it.

- Haiku, Jeff Gerstmann

This was touching: http://kotaku.com/gaming/advertorials/1up-shows-support-for-gamespot-reviewers-328882.php

Remember, leave comments and/or questions about this week's CNET debacle for our podcast. I imagine this will take up the entire 90 minutes (or 2 hours, depending).

mailbag AT trigames DOT net

UPDATE: Comments below asked me when I can expect to post the cast. I'm going to try to get the cast up by Monday night. It's been tough the past two weeks - episode 71 saw my sound file not being saved (though that actually resulted in the episode going up earlier), and episode 72 saw Al's sound file being slightly corrupt. I'm studying for my GMATs and I'm working 12-hour days this week so it'll be insanely, insanely tough to get this thing uploaded when I want it to but I'll try.

In the meantime I invite you all to listen to episode 47 where Alex Navarro was a guest for us. We talk about games journalism, a topic that has been completely turned upside-down this past week.

Update: Bad link fixed; thanks LordAndrew! This week has been insane, and one of our sound files died again - so we must apologize for the poor sound quality. Go download it - no breakdown, too busy, too hectic, too tired!!!111one Music is from Puzzle Quest, Guitar Hero Rocks the 80s, Art of Fighting (SNES) and Wrecking Crew.

File lives here!

Oh yeah, very important that you know: Go! Sports Ski (PS3 PSN) is poor and Volleyball (Wii VC) is horrid

I wanted to touch a little more on the Rock Band strum bar after extend usage, specifically after Al's Rock Band party. I still enjoy using it a lot - I really do. Again, it's all about that tension that the strum bar has so that when you pluck it, it doesn't double-strum on you. I enjoy this because it reminds me of plucking a cello string (since I've never picked up a real guitar in earnest) rather than just pushing a piece of plastic.

However, I noted before that the amount of tension - the "squish" - would make it hard to accurately do alt strums or repeated down strums. This fact was made even more clear to me when Al's guitar started fritzing out on us and I sync'ed up the Guitar Hero III guitar. Suddenly, repetitive, speedy riffs - Reptilia, Blackened - became much easier to strum out.

The end result is that, for me personally, using the Rock Band guitar is much more "fun" while using the Guitar Hero guitar leads to much better results. It's something I mention in this week's podcast, which is still in editing (it will unfortunately sport poor sound quality again - another one of our files got borked up; sorry...), and it's akin to me using the Wii remote versus a mouse and keyboard for first-person shooters. Using the Wii remote is much more "fun" for me; I love the sensation of waving, pointing and pulling a trigger button as opposed to moving a piece of plastic on a surface. However, when it comes down to winning, there still is no better substitute for a mouse for my needs (even though I suck enough such that I wouldn't win in a competition either way).

Certainly, it's disappointing that the Rock Band guitar (so far) isn't necessarily fit for intense competition and 100% reliable results. After all, one of the things I Was looking forward to with Rock Band was taking the guitar and trying to play Jordan on the upper frets. But I still just enjoy using it. Because I can kind of pluck at the string without worrying about double-strumming, I now sometimes strum with my wrist such that my entire hand is moving - thumb nicking the strum bar - instead of just keeping my palm glued to the guitar body and only moving my thumb. The extra movement is kind of liberating.

===========

Now, here's a random note about the editing process. This has nothing to do with Gamespot, which has done nothing but help me improve and show me how to tighten up my review text while still keeping the message I wanted to convey. Rather, this involves my old stomping grounds: NYU's student newspaper, the Washington Square News. I used to write for the men's basketball team, and they had me write a weekly column about pro-basketball on the side. Take a look at this awful editorial I Wrote on Yao Ming's rookie season.

Never mind that the writing could have used some tightening up. I'm talking about the two nasty gaffes that plague my article. First off, everyone who follows sports knows that Shaq's full name is "Shaquille O'Neal". Look at how it's spelled in the article. Second, though this may not be as obvious, those same people would know that Hakeem Olajuwon's last name is spelled just as I printed it right there: "Olajuwon." Look at how it's spelled in the article.

You know who's responsible? The copy editor. I spelled those names correctly in my draft - I can guarantee it. These spellings were CHANGED during editing. It makes me look like a complete hack because it's MY friggin' name in the byline.

There's another editorial which unfortunately doesn't seem to be in the archives; this was one of two that I wrote about Michael Jordan's final stint in the NBA, when he was with the Washington Wizards. I opened with the lyrics to the "Like Mike" song from the old Gatorade commercials:

"Sometimes I dream/ that he is me/
You got to know that's how I dream to be..." (bum ba dum bum bum)

Now, if you remember that commercial, that second line goes in perfect rhythm with the song. Copy-editing, however, REMOVED THE CONTRACTION and then "fixed" the grammar (even though it was broken for the purposes of the song). So in the printed article, it ended up reading:

"You have got to know that is how I dream to be."

What the hell? It almost completely destroys the reference to the song and makes me look like a complete square. Let's not talk about the time that they changed Lebron James' weight to 218 lbs. from what it actually was before the draft just because they didn't bother to look up his real weight in more than one source (yes, I knew he was 218 when playing for high school, but he put on a lot of muscle before the NBA draft and they showed his weight on national television in a stat line).

Copy editing there had a creed that they were the lords of changes and everything they change is final. It's too bad that most of the things they changed my stuff to were completely WRONG.

1) The Rock Band strum bar. Everyone seems to hate it. I really, really like it simply because it makes me feel like I'm plucking a string. It's squishy, and that turned me off at first. I'm used to pushing the strum bar with the pad of my thumb when I'm playing Guitar Hero because, well, it's a damned bar. So when I try pushing this squishy strum bar, my hand feels like it has to overcompensate because it's not giving back the "click" feedback. Al made this note to me when he had gotten the game, and at first I wasn't sure what he meant - but after I tried it, he was completely right and I understood after 60 seconds of playing a song.

So, I started "tapping" the strum bar with my thumb really lightly - and it worked, plus my hand didn't hurt. Problem is, I didn't feel confident that I was hitting all the notes - even though I was - because, again, there was a lack of feedback. However, I discovered that the extreme squish of the strum bar also meant that it was not prone to double-strumming if you flicked it really hard instead of pushing it down.

So, I started flicking the bar with the outer edge of my thumb (not the fleshy pad), as if I was plucking the string with my thumb. That quick "twang" of contact with the strum bar serves as great feedback, and it feels more like a string than a bar. Is this necessarily ideal for alt-strumming? No, but I'll live with that. It still feels great, again because the sensation is less like "push a bar" and more like "pluck a string."

2) Everyone seems to think the upper frets are too small. Everyone's probably right, but I don't really mind it because I like using them. I started out using them almost exclusively just because it felt cool to finally be able to rock out higher up on the fret board after three and a half (80's isn't a full game :P) games of staying at the neck. Aside from the occasional gaffe, I have no problem whatsoever with the size of the buttons. Tilting the guitar with my hand higher up the fret board lets me feel more in control of the fretting while holding the guitar at that angle. Since my left hand is now that much closer to the mass of the guitar, everything feels more balanced.

I've started playing up at the neck again, and getting used to switching back and forth so that I don't fumble for the buttons when I feel like switching between fret sets. Those huge ridges that bookend each set of frets are vital to this learning process; rather than release your hand and move it, hold it tight against the fretboard and slide it so that you can feel the ridge.

3) I've started to feel where the kick pedal might snap if drummers aren't careful. Take a look at the pedal - make note of where those ridges end near the bottom of the pedal as it tapers off. Put your heel at approximately that point. Now, press the kick pedal in fully. After this, ever so carefully, apply more pressure with just your heel. You may feel the pedal "bending" there. This freaked me out, because I wasn't pushing too hard AND I was not wearing any heavy footwear - just socks. Watch out for that little pressure point.