I got knocked the [moderation!] out of Zaps Guitar Hero League by a thirsty and angry stevenscott14, clearly upset at my awesomitude. He is just jealous that my middle name is Rule.
But in all honesty, Scott's vastly-improving skills were the nail in a coffin built on a sleepless Friday and busy Saturday/Sunday. This blog is less about Scott's viking victory, though, and more about my self-indulgent ranting about games and the lack thereof during the better part of the weekend. Peep it:
Friday, work was disastrous. I left my power cord at the client site, meaning in Illinois, so instead of being the spoiled brat and working from home like I always do I trekked over to our home office to borrow an AC adapter from the IT desk. The day itself was all centered around a singular issue which I still haven't resolved, but worked on a feasible solution for up until 2:30PM today. I was supposed to head over to the_antipode's place, leaving my house at around 7PM. I ended up leaving the office at 7:30PM, changing, packing my laptop in case I had to work even more while at his domicile, as well as my MP3 player for our eventual ride to Six Flags Great Adventure.
When I got there, I watched him unpack Oblivion and laughed as he over-encumbered himself at every single turn. He liked picking up bones. No, there is no subtext there. I had made a note of my desire to try to beat "Jordan" from Guitar Hero II a second time, and he complied with hunger of his own. I did manage to beat it again, but I only scored 171k and submitted a dismal 3 star performance at a 79% clip. He, however, was able to hit his personal best completion before failing of 59% in my presence (he upped it to 60% later, which, as any of you "Jordan" beasts know, is right when the "blue note of freedom" rears its sexy head). We then tried to do our best on "Play With Me", a song I haven't yet 5-starred in Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80s. He hadn't beaten it yet, so he made some valiant attempts while I tried to get that fifth star. No dice, the clock was reading 3:30AM, and we had to hit the road at 9AM. Nuno Bettencourt laughs at us. (He later beat it the next day.) We kept going on but ended the night with Limozeen's "Because, It's Midnite" and playing that stupid ridiculous solo in practice mode.
Sleep began at 4:15AM, and that's when the cats hit. He's got two frisky kittens, and though I'm allergic to cats, I thought I'd be fine. I have a cat of my own, if you'll remember, and my irritation to her has been minimal for the past decade. But I guess pet dander differs, because I couldn't breathe through my nose and my eyes were on fire. The worst came, however, when I was thisclose to falling asleep and one of the cats - who was bounding all around the living room - decided that it'd be a good idea to jump on the sofabed. Where I was sleeping. On my back. The cat's aim was true and he landed on. My. Crotch.
Now think about that, men. You're pretty much unprotected and about to fall asleep when you're jarred - no - jolted awake by an animal traveling at the speed of spite through the air and landing with full force on the treasure which you hold sacred. And no, cups are not allowed in this thought.
A visual, if you will:
So yeah, we awoke at 8:50AM on Saturday - in my case, due to the ball-smashing felines, and in Al's case, due to the same felines trying to bite his feet off - and hit the road a good hour-and-a-half later than we were scheduled to. Listening to the October 4th episode of the GFW Radio podcast ("Oh my GOD you're from VALVE, I throw my life at your feet") and with me falling asleep, the traffic was unkind to us and we made it to Six Flags at around 1PM - three hours after we wanted to. We met up with three of his co-workers and set off with our expensively-purchased Flash Pass, with which we could skip the long lines. Medusa was first - a good, solid starter ride. Next was El Toro, perhaps the best ride currently in the park. Think a zillion steep, long ascensions and drops without the luxury of an over-the-shoulder harness on a wooden track. Summary: your butt and the seat don't get to make out with each other very much during that one. Then it was the good old standby, Rolling Thunder.
The real kicker was Kingda Ka, though. This is important, now. It's billed as the world's tallest and fastest coaster. Amongst roller coasters, it's hyped as though we were talking about the Halo 3 of rides. The lines for this puppy were 3 hours long.
The ride lasts all of 30 second, if that. Go take a look at its Wikipedia entry and look at the track. See that shape? Doesn't that look thrilling? Straight up and then straight down? Pure rush, right?
Well, sure, the first half is alright. You get rocketed along the bottom and zoom up to the peak faster than you've ever been elevated in any other coaster before. That's quite a rush, getting pushed up that fast from the outset. I even just read in the Six Flags Wikipedia entry that, "...sometimes the ride doesn't make it over the tower. This is known as a rollback and the ride is designed with this possibility in mind."
This did not happen. We made it over the peak. What did happen was that I felt almost nothing, because the descent was so fast, and all the thrill I was expecting evaporated in 1.2 seconds. A major disappointment. Don't wait on a 3 hour line for this ride. If you spend money on a Flash Pass, sure - do it once so you can say you rode Kingda Ka. But... man. I haven't felt this disappointed since Super Mario Sunshine.
Thankfully we finished out with the Batman ride, which is always a safe bet for entertainment. The car ride back had us listening to some Buckethead ("Buckethead was raised in a chicken coop by chickens? That does not make sense.") and with me falling asleep and uttering some apparently inane question about Dream Theater and Rock Band that (a) Al didn't understand and (2) I didn't remember until 40 minutes after I had actually asked it. I then headed to a birthday dinner, to return at 2:30 and tired as all hell. You don't go to Six Flags on 3 hours of sleep, with injured dingle dangles, then celebrate a friend's birthday only to come home to play some Guitar Hero songs. Not if you're me. So, there went that idea.
Waking up on Sunday was the result of some supremely awesome and much-needed sleep, but recording the podcast really emphasized the fatigue I was experiencing shortly after the initial high of a good sleep wore off. Though, the ladies will think I sound The Sexy. Hoarse = hot. (Or not.) Right after that, I ate, but then disaster struck again and I worked for the next 9 hours (until midnight) on this stupid issue that I'm still waiting on a response back from the client on. I squozeded my Guitar Hero tracks in there, and knowing that I would meet de feet at de hands (see what I did there? my wittiness is better than all of you combined) of Scott, I just gave up after a few run throughs. Frustrated, I peppered my work with impromptu attempts at "Jordan". I managed to beat it a third time but again failed to crack 200k. I did, however, improve the percentage to 82%. After finishing up the stupid task for work, I went to sleep at 1:30AM so that I could get out of bed by 6AM for my lovely overpriced flight to work. My head is still spinning and I'd like to fall asleep right now thank you. I'm old.
So, if you've made it to the end, know this: you have less of a life than me and have just successfully wasted a good portion of your time. And I love you for it. Because that means that I can write whatever the hell I want and still garner pointless attention. And that I have more of a life than you.
Podcast in editing. Come back for the best thing in your lives soon.
P.S. - Scott is going to bless Trigames.NET with a Halo 3 review, in return for thrashing me so soundly in the GH League Playoffs. Look for it soon.
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